Come Back To Me
by Melolabel
Summary: When the fire of newlywed love cools and the demands of life take over,how can Bella&Edward rise above the storm and resist drifting apart? With their marriage crumbling, what kind of wake up call will it take to get back to their HEA? AU/AH B/E
1. Chapter 1

**Hello wonderful readers! Welcome to my newest fic. I'm glad you've found your way here. This will start a bit differently from my usual, but I hope that (if you are a returning reader) that you'll remember my track record in regards to our two beloved characters. If you are a new reader, thanks for giving this a shot and please have faith in me ;)**

**Thanks to Sweetthunder for her wonderful beta work and for BellaMadonna's pre-reading skillz and comma detection skillz!**

**See below for an important A/N regarding The Marksman! And if you haven't already, don't forget to check out my One Shot entry into the Age of Edward contest, _A Love Not Forgotten._  
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**Dislcaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. The plot and original story ideas are mine. Please do not copy or distribute this story with out my permission. Come Back To Me © 2010  
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Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 1**

"No, Mike, it doesn't matter if it sounds like the old television show. You still need an entry for it in the glossary." She was absolutely done listening to him go on and on about _Battlestar Galactica._

"But that's going to push the final page count over by one," the slightly overweight, slightly balding, more than slightly annoying member of Bella's technical writing team complained.

"Just put the correct definition of _galactose_ in the final draft, okay? I'm sure there will be other additions that will more than fill the additional page." Bella sighed and held out the sheaf of papers looking expectantly at the man, waiting for him to take his portion of the basic anatomy and physiology text book glossary he was assigned.

"Fine, but I'm not taking the heat when the chief hears that we've exceeded our page count again."

"Oh, don't worry about that, Mike," she replied sarcastically, "I wouldn't dream of letting the blame fall on you. I'll talk with Mr. Banner about it." She waved dismissively and turned back to her computer screen.

It seemed that no one cared about doing their job anymore. Even Bella was caring less and less, regardless of the promotion to team leader she'd just earned. Being in charge was highly overrated and the extra hours she was putting in didn't totally make up for the bump in salary.

Once Mike had slunk away, Bella rolled her shoulders and checked her email. She smiled when she saw that a message from Alice had just popped into her inbox. It just made her feel good to know someone was thinking of her just the second before. As she began reading the message, an email from her boss popped in and she immediately dreaded what she'd find in it. Shaking her head slightly she decided to put off the work email until later. It had been a while since she and Alice had chatted and Bella had been feeling more and more isolated from all of the goings on in Washington.

She tapped out a quick response promising a phone call in the near future. She wanted to hear all about her niece's latest accomplishments. She smiled as she clicked the send button and then got up to refill her stainless steel thermos at the water cooler.

Bella cringed inwardly as she approached Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory, two other members of her team. As soon as they noticed Bella approaching, the conversation came to an abrupt halt and they both shot simpering smiles in her direction before scurrying off back to their cubes.

Both women were beyond jealous of the fact that Bella had been promoted over them. They'd worked at _Banner and Cope_ for several months longer than she had, and Bella was ninety nine percent positive that they were the one's who'd started the rumor about exactly how she'd been awarded the promotion. Just the thought of her sleeping with Mr. Banner to be promoted from junior technical writer to team lead caused a surge of bile to creep up the back of her throat and a shiver of disgust to roll down her spine. Meanwhile, Bella had no doubt that Jessica and probably Lauren, had both tried that exact method of persuasion when the position became available. Though she couldn't imagine why; this wasn't anything close to what might be considered a dream job.

Once her thermos was full, Bella returned to her small, windowless office. Waiting by her door was Bree, one of the office couriers. She was tiny and always wore her hair hanging in her face, her clothes were a little too baggy and she wouldn't ever make eye contact. But she did her job, she did it quickly, and Bella had noticed that she never fell in with office gossip and went out of her way to avoid Jessica. She felt a kind of sad protectiveness for the girl.

"Hi, Ms. Cullen. Sorry, Mr. Banner just gave these to me a few minutes ago. He said they're top priority and need to be finished yesterday."

Bella groaned at the ten inch stack of folders full of glossaries to be edited and checked over. She set the thermos down on her desk and took the teetering pile of work from Bree's arms. The young woman smiled apologetically to Bella and hurried away to her next assignment.

The clock on the wall in front of her desk showed four forty-five. Edward would be off shift at six, putting him home around six thirty. If she left right away, she could make it home in time to have dinner just about ready when Edward got in. So she finished up a few work emails, loaded the stack of files into her already overstuffed messenger bag, grabbed her purse and thermos, and headed out the door.

The bus ride from Hanover to Lebanon wasn't long, only twenty minutes, but it was time that Bella used to decompress from her day. She closed her eyes and rested her head on the glass trying to let all of the petty gossip and ridiculous office politicking roll off her back. She had enough going on at home that she really didn't need to bring work stress into the mix as well. Though that was exactly what stinking Doug Banner had done by sneaking a pile of work into her hands at the last minute.

Bella pushed the stop-call button and exited the bus right in front of the apartment building that she and her husband had lived in for the last four years. It was a small but comfortable two bedroom place. The building had been well maintained and still managed to hold on to all of it's original charm and detail. The rooms were still heated with radiators, and the windows operated on wobbly pulley-style counterweights. The parquet wood floors were original, with a beautiful border around the edge, but some horrible person had decided to lay linoleum tile in the kitchen, in the 80's no less, so it was in really bad shape. But Bella didn't mind that much. Right now she was thankful it was early spring and the heat wasn't really necessary, nor was it warm enough that she needed to muscle the window open to get a breeze going.

Maybe in a month or so, she'd get Edward to put the window air conditioner in the living room, if he could spare the time. She had put in the bedroom air conditioner a few weeks before when she couldn't stand the hot muggy nights anymore and Edward couldn't seem to be bothered since he was either never home or his reptilian body temperature usually required a warming rock on his side of the bed. She tried to quell the bitter thoughts about his schedule. She knew the last year of his medical residency was going to be time consuming, but she hadn't been prepared for all of the extra shifts he was picking up. It seemed like every time she turned around, Dr. Garrett was asking him to cover a shift or stay a few hours later than he was supposed to. And because Dr. Garrett was the god of DHMC, Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center, he pretty much controlled the future of Edward's career. At least, that's what Edward always reminded her when she asked why he couldn't say no to the extra shift when she had gotten tickets to a movie, or reservations for dinner, or just some planned quality time.

Bella dumped her bags into the worn, overstuffed armchair, and headed into the kitchen to get dinner started. The meat had been marinating all day, so it was ready for the grill pan. She also prepared some minted green beans and got the par-boiled potatoes out of the fridge so she could finish them off in the oven. She tossed them in a bit of olive oil, smiling and humming as she sprinkled them with seasoning before dumping them into a baking dish. Bella loved to let her thoughts focus on the food, the smell of the ingredients, the ways she would combine them, even the different sounds they made when they were cooking. She tried to push out every thought of work and let her mind fill with the familiar and comforting scents of her kitchen.

The oven door was barely closed when her phone chimed with a new text message. She sighed, immediately deflated, knowing, before she even had a chance to get to the phone, that she'd be eating alone. Again.

"_Sry. Garrett nds me to cvr 4 Crowley. B hm tmrw."_

She erased the message and turned her phone off. Not that she thought he'd call; he usually didn't when he tacked on another twelve hours to a thirty six hour shift. It was cowardly. She knew he thought he was doing the best thing for them, but he didn't want to confront her with it. It's not like she wanted to fight about it either, she didn't like it at all. But he was negating her feelings and depriving her of a voice in their relationship when he did that to her. Once dinner was finished cooking, she served herself a plate and put the rest into containers and stowed them in the fridge, no longer able to take any pleasure in her carefully planned and prepared meal.

It was close to midnight when she finished the last of the files that Banner had given her. She had taken a break around nine to wash the dishes and put them in the drying rack. But now her neck was killing her from being hunched over the second-hand dining table that doubled as a desk. Carefully she returned the files to her bag and set it by the front door. She grabbed a dishrag from one of the two drawers in the kitchen and soaked it in hot water before wiping down the table. She didn't even realize that she'd begun to cry as she furiously rubbed at one of the gold specks in the blue Formica table top.

"Dang it!" She sobbed, chucking the dishrag into the sink, her shoulders shaking with sadness as she braced herself on the old butcher block counter. When had things gotten so difficult?

She climbed into bed having done the bare minimum: Brushing teeth, no flossing, wiping face down with wet washcloth. She didn't wear makeup anymore; there was no one to appreciate it anyways. Mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted, she fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. Her alarm would go off in less than six hours.

At some point in the night Bella had kicked off her covers. She hated sleeping with hot feet, and Edward was constantly jacking up the thermostat, making it unbearably warm. Couldn't he just add a blanket if he was so cold? She climbed out of bed, roughly turned the dial on the thermostat back down to a reasonable temperature, and laid back down.

She vaguely recalled him sliding into bed sometime around four or five in the morning, but that was all. He hadn't woken her with a kiss or a reassuring, "I'm home, love." He'd stopped doing that months ago. She quickly silenced her alarm since she hadn't really been able to fall back asleep and went about quietly getting ready for work.

She lingered a little too long in the shower and was running late when the evil, possessed toaster burned her toast again. She hurriedly grabbed a butter knife and scraped off the burnt parts into the sink, slathered the charred bread with jelly and rushed out the door, just barely making her bus. She rode the bus because it was free, and they were broke. With mind-boggling student loan payments, the high cost of living on the east coast, and Edward's car payment, they were barely making ends meet.

Her promotion was a big help since it included a one time bonus of five thousand dollars and a five percent salary increase, but that money went straight into a special account that Bella had set up a year ago. It was her dream account. One day, she was going to do something. Something that made her feel valued and accomplished. Something that spoke to the person that she was. Though she was having a hard time remembering the answer to that one transcendent question: Who am I? Apart from Edward's wife, or Charlie's daughter, or Team Leader at _Banner and Cope. _It was a question she'd been struggling with for some time. She felt like she knew it once, but somehow it had slipped her memory.

She'd told Edward about the account when she'd set it up, but he hadn't really paid much attention, and it had most likely completely fallen off his radar. Since she was primarily in charge of keeping the finances straight, she'd managed to put a little bit aside in her dream fund each month over the last year. Someday she would know how to use that money. Someday.

Edward stretched his arms and legs, shivering a bit at the chill in the air. He rolled his eyes when he realized that Bella had already left for work and had most likely turned the thermostat down to what would be comfortable for penguins.

He swung his legs out of bed and rested his elbows on his knees, cradling his head in his hands. The last two days had been hellish to say the least. Between back to back traumas and two other emergency surgeries, not to mention covering Crowley's last twelve hours, Edward was wiped out. Fortunately for him, he had two days off before his next shift. Maybe he'd finally be able to catch up on some much-needed sleep.

He glanced at the clock and tried to decide if two thirty in the afternoon was too late for breakfast. He opened the fridge, pulled out the milk, and poured himself a bowl of cereal. As he reached into the drawer for a spoon, he noticed the mess in the sink.

"Ah, for cryin' out loud." This wasn't the first time that she'd scraped her burnt toast in the sink. He thought they'd "discussed" it and come to an agreement. It's not like it took that long to rinse it down the drain. He hosed the black crumbs away and grumpily dug into his cereal, shaking his head and allowing his irritation to fester. After relaxing in front of the TV for an hour, he decided he ought to put in a few miles if he wanted to be ready for the qualifier. Running was the only thing that kept him sane during his college and med school days. It had become quite the passion and he'd started training for the Boston Marathon. His qualifying race was coming up in just a couple of months and he still needed to shave off a good thirteen minutes from his time if he wanted to do well in the big race.

With his shoes laced up and his music strapped on, he began the familiar eight mile route he'd mapped out several weeks ago. He opted for his "heavy" play list. It was chock full of music that not only propelled him forward physically, with a driving intensity, but also served to fuel his irritation towards his wife.

She was so picky and particular; it seemed like nothing he did was right. He was ashamed to admit it, but on more than one occasion, he'd agreed to take on an extra shift, or stay after his shift was done, until he was sure that Bella would either be asleep or already at work. He just didn't feel like dealing with the constant arguments.

He picked up his pace, allowing the burning of his lungs and chest to serve as some kind of masochistic punishment for being a jerk to his wife. It also kind of helped mask the pain of realizing that they hadn't always been like this. And it took his mind off of the difficulty of figuring out how they had become so distant.

They were the classic, textbook perfect couple. High school sweethearts, engaged right after graduation. They attended the same university and got married the summer before he started med school. They were coming up on five years of marriage and nearly ten years of being together.

Learning about Bella's endometriosis was a huge blow to their family plan, but he thought they'd overcome that bump in the road. She'd undergone some treatment's to relieve some of the symptoms, but her doctor, being realistic, was unable to give them much hope about her being able to conceive and carry a child to term.

The plan was to adopt as soon as he was done with his residency and could plan on more structured and reasonable hours. But she hardly ever talked about that anymore. She hardly talked about anything anymore. Her answers were short and sometimes even felt calculated and empty.

He pounded the pavement back to their apartment and up the stairs, stripping his sweaty shirt off as he walked down the short hall to the bathroom. He tossed the shirt in the general direction of the laundry hamper, doing the same with his shorts and socks, before slipping into the shower.

As he dried off, he could hear the TV going and the sounds of cooking coming from the kitchen. With his towel tucked around his waist, he sauntered into the kitchen and approached his wife from behind. It was subtle but he still noticed the stiffness of her posture as he wrapped one arm around her waist and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hey, babe. How was work?" he asked, trying to generate some conversation. Trying to feel close to her.

"Fine," she replied, continuing to toss vegetables and chicken together in the wok on the stove.

"Anything interesting happen?"

"No. Same old, same old." He waited for her to elaborate but nothing came.

"Well, I guess I'll just go get dressed," he said softly as he backed out of the kitchen. She glanced slightly over her shoulder, but not really at him, and nodded before returning her gaze to the stove.

And that's how most of their conversations went, and why he preferred to stay at work, where he could have real conversations about sports or politics or festering cysts. Anything was preferable to a cold shoulder and one sided conversations at home and everyone at work was so much more easy going and companionable. Edward chastised himself for thinking this, but he couldn't deny it. Right now, he loved his wife, but he _liked_ his work buddies a whole lot more.

When he returned to the bedroom he noticed that his clothes had already been picked up and the nearly full hamper was gone. She'd probably bust his chops for that too.

They sat down on opposite sides of the table and ate their meal quietly. Wanting to hopefully stave off the impending argument about laundry, Edward offered an olive branch. "I'm sorry about my running clothes. I was going to pick them up when I got done in the shower."

"Mhmm, that's okay." She picked at the little bit of rice that stuck to the edge of her bowl before looking up and offering him a weak smile. Her eyes were tired and dull. The sparkle had gone out of them a while ago, and he was at a loss as to how to get that sparkle back. He'd always loved her eyes; they were like the window to her soul, but over the last two or three years, there seemed to be shutters that closed her off from him.

He was hoping that by his acknowledging that he'd been a slob, that maybe she'd mention something about the toast crap in the sink, but she didn't say anything. Instead she stood up and silently cleared the dishes and started to wash them. He followed after her and dried the dishes as she placed them in the rack.

When Bella opened her laptop and pulled out the bank statement, Edward knew that he'd probably lost her for the rest of the night. She was obsessive about making sure that every single penny was accounted for. And if things didn't add up, she'd go back and recalculate each transaction until she found the error. Sometimes it would take her hours to reconcile the checkbook. He didn't totally get what the big deal was.

He opened his own computer and transferred the information from his pedometer and heart rate monitor to a spreadsheet that he used to track his training regimen. He was analyzing some of the notes from his training journal and comparing it to the data on the spreadsheet when Bella spoke.

"We've got thirty eight bucks to last until the end of the month."

"But I need to get gas tomorrow, I'm running on fumes."

"We can't afford it, the fridge is almost bare."

"Jeez. Where does it go?" Edward complained. He rarely looked at any of the bills, he just knew that the apartment was close to sixteen hundred and his car-baby was close to seven hundred. He didn't pay attention to anything else.

Bella mumbled something under her breath, but Edward didn't catch it. She sighed as she closed her laptop and stretched. "I'm going to bed," she said as she put her work bag by the front door.

"Ok, I'll be there in a few minutes," he replied. He stared blankly at the screen, thinking how much it was going to suck having to either ride his old bike or take the bus to the medical center. When was all this money that he was supposed to make as a doctor going to start rolling in? Being poor really kind of sucked, especially when you grew up in a wealthy home.

Edward wasn't very tired since he'd woken up so late, so he stayed up and surfed around on the net, just wasting time until he felt like he might be able to crash. Finally about two hours after Bella had retired for the night Edward finally padded into their bedroom, making sure to bump up the thermostat on his way in.

As he slid into bed, he was about to turn over and face the outside like he'd grown accustomed to, but Bella had begun to murmur. It had been ages since he'd heard her nocturnal ramblings, so he lay on his side, propped up by his elbow and listened.

"Too hot," she mumbled, kicking at the covers around her feet until she'd plopped one foot on top of the duvet.

Edward smiled at her habit of always managing to end up with at least one foot out. She turned her head towards him and sighed. He lifted his hand and lightly ran his index finger over her cheek. She unconsciously turned toward his touch, but her brow was furrowed.

There used to be such an amazing tingle of electricity every time they touched. It was addictive and intoxicating, but now there was only a dull hum beneath his fingertips. How had their relationship gotten so off track? He was surprised when a lone tear trickled down her cheek and soaked into the pillow case.

The last words she uttered that night left Edward feeling cold and desperate.

"Can't do this anymore."

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**A/N: Just a reminder that today is the LAST day to vote for _The Marksman_ at the Twilight All Human awards for "Best Ending". Please take a few minutes and head on over to http:/twilightallhumanawards(dot)webs(dot)com/voting(dot)htm or you can follow the link on my profile.**

**Not sure how long this story will be, I'm guessing around the 15-20 chapter mark. I will endeavor to keep updates fairly regular, but as always please be patient with me if real life bites me in the butt. Rest assured, though, that I do not abandon any of my stories!**

**Thanks to all!**

**Melolabel**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi All! So I'm going to try and post every 10 days or so. You can look on Fictionators (dot) com on Mondays. If I've posted a teaser, then I'll be posting at some point during that week. **

**Thanks so much for the reviews. I so enjoy hearing what you all have to say! And thanks so much to Sweetthunder for beta'ing and BellaMadonna for pre-reading. **

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Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 2**

"Edward what are you doing?" Bella's voice was groggy and her eyes were still closed. Tickling fingers ghosting over her ribs were becoming more insistent, waking her from a deep sleep.

"Hmmm nothing," he responded, scooting up behind his wife's back, taking in the smell of her hair, and allowing his hand bolder strokes across her torso.

"Edward, I have to get ready for work," the annoyance starting to creep into her voice.

"Come on, Bella, it's been too long. It won't be the end of the world if you're a few minutes late for work," he crooned, nuzzling up to her neck.

"Don't make me scrunch. You know that hurts my neck when you do that," she nudged her elbow back, gently pushing him away and firmly indicating that she was _not in the mood._

"Sorry. I just...never mind. Go. Get ready for work," Edward sighed as he rolled away from Bella and covered his eyes with his forearm.

"Edward, don't be like this. I'm still in my probationary period as Team Lead. I really can't be late. Banner wouldn't have any problem finding a more reliable replacement for me. And there are plenty of sharks in the tank waiting for my spot." She swung out of bed and was heading for the bathroom.

"I was just hoping for maybe a little lovin', that's all."

To Bella, it came off sounding like she was just too darn busy to be able to squeeze him in to her schedule, which burned her britches.

"Had you come to bed last night instead of staying up 'til all hours farting around on the internet, maybe you could've gotten some lovin', but no. You wait until I have less than twenty minutes to catch the bus before you initiate something and then try to guilt trip _me _for not giving _you_ enough time? That's crap Edward. Just...Ugh!" She stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Edward rolled out of bed, shrugged off his plaid boxers, and threw on his running clothes. "I'm going for a run," he called. There was another way to burn off this energy that had him riled up. He was just trying to do be closer to her and she shut him down; they were so disconnected, he didn't even know how to approach her anymore. He laced up and was out the door before Bella was even out of the bathroom.

She wiped away the tears and covered the blotchy redness around her eyes with some foundation, grabbed her lip-gloss, and left in much the same manner as the morning before. Though a little more dejected and a lot more frustrated.

When Edward returned home and saw the black mess in the sink again he just left it there, pulled out his phone and fired off an angry text.

_**Wud it kill u 2 rinse damn burnt crumbs down sink?**_

A responding text came back swiftly and clearly showed what Bella's position was.

_**I WAS LATE **_

Edward rolled his eyes and got into the shower. Once he was clean, he laid back down in bed and fell asleep quickly. Even though he wasn't scheduled to go back in until the next morning, there was no telling when he might get paged in and he really wanted to impress his superiors. It was better to try and get as much sleep as he could, just in case.

Bella slammed her phone down, completely frustrated by Edward's rude text. She would've rinsed the mess but she was late. Not to mention Mike had been lingering around her office making suggestive eyes in her direction every chance he got. She was annoyed and on edge.

Finally she got up, closed the door and the blinds, and just sealed off her little fishbowl of an office. She hated doing that, especially since there were no windows to the exterior, but she needed to get some work done and having to watch Mike leering at her was a huge distraction.

Just before lunch she got a call from the human resources department. A million thoughts ran through her head and an uncomfortable lump formed in the back of her throat. Maybe Banner wasn't pleased with her work thus far; maybe they'd messed up her paperwork and the extra money wouldn't be on her next pay check. The maybe's kept running through her head on a loop until she reached the large brown door that led into the HR office.

The lump, now sitting in the bottom of her stomach, made her feel queasy and like she was about to throw up when she walked through the door. Until Edward started making real money, this was it for them, she really didn't know how they would make ends meet if she lost this job. Plus, she needed to have something outside of the house. She needed to feel like she mattered in the world. And as awful as this job was, at least it gave her that.

"Bella! Thanks for coming down so quickly," greeted Kate Burgoyne, the HR director. Bella tried to smile, but it felt like more of a grimace than anything else. Kate chuckled and then added, "Don't worry, it's nothing bad!"

"So, what can I do for you?" Bella asked, more than slightly relieved by Kate's reassurances.

"Well, Bella, at the end of this month you'll have maxed out your paid vacation, and it's one of those 'use it or lose it' kind of deals. So if you want to - you get to take some time off!"

"Really?" Bella was shocked. She didn't think she'd accrued that much vacation, but then when had she and Edward gone anywhere lately?

"Yup, you have close to two months of vacation time." Bella almost choked when she heard that. It seemed like an eternity.

"Wow. Okay, I'll have to think of something. Thanks for letting me know."

"No problem. Just submit your time off request to your direct supervisor."

Bella nodded as she walked out of the HR office. What on earth was she going to do with two months of time off? She was in a daze as she rounded the corner back to her office. She barely even saw Mike standing by her door. He leaned in close to her as she unlocked her door and tried to squeeze past him.

"Hey, Bella, so I was just wondering if maybe you'd be up for drinks after work?" he oozed, running his pudgy finger down the side of her cheek. He knew she was married, which just made him all the slimier.

Bella quickly grabbed his hand, bent his wrist down and twisted his arm up like a chicken wing behind his back. She shoved him hard against the door jamb and seethed, "Michael Newton, if you so much as breathe in my direction in a non-work-related capacity again, I will knee you in the groin so hard you'll have to change the gender on your drivers license. Got it?" Her dad would be proud that she still remembered some of her self-defense moves.

"Yes," he whimpered.

"And rest assured that this will be going in your complaint file." She pushed him away from her door and looked around at all of the gawking eyes that had stopped to watch the show. It was like looking out at a sea of prairie dogs, heads barely poking over the tops of the cubicle partitions. "Get back to work!" She shouted before closing the door to her office.

Bella dragged herself home, luckily without another stack of extra work. She just wanted to flop on the couch, turn on some mind numbing reality show, and melt into a puddle of unconsciousness. She turned the key in the lock and pushed opened the sticky apartment door.

There was soft music playing and the sound of Edward banging around in the kitchen. She dumped her work bag and purse onto the chair and peeked around the corner. "Hey," she called out.

"Hey, babe," Edward responded over his shoulder, while he continued to stir spaghetti sauce.

Bella grimaced when she noticed the black crumbs in the sink. Silently she walked over and rinsed out the sink. She was very tempted to give the action some kind of flourish as if to say, "So there. Are you happy now?" but she just wasn't in the mood to fight anymore. It seemed like that's all they ever did and she hated it.

Once the sink was clean she turned around and leaned on the counter. "Edward?"

"Hmm?" he replied without looking directly at her.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you anymore."

Edward's shoulders raised and lowered as he turned to face her. "I don't want to fight either. I'm sorry I got so pissed off."

"Can I ask you something?"

He nodded and waited expectantly, turning the heat down on the sauce.

"Would it be okay if we just threw that stupid toaster away?"

Edward let out a genuine chuckle and went over to the defective appliance, yanked the cord out of the wall and ceremoniously dropped it into the trashcan.

"Thank you," Bella said with a small smile.

He gave a small nod and by unspoken, mutual agreement, they came together and wrapped their arms around each other. It had been weeks since the last time they'd really shared a hug like this. Bella rested her cheek on Edward's broad chest and listened to the soft lub-dub of his heart beat. She felt more at home in his arms then anywhere else on earth, and for just a moment, she felt 18 again.

They sat down to dinner and Bella asked about Edward's day. He gave a brief account of his run and napping. He'd only woken up an hour or so before Bella got home.

"How was your day?" He asked, a bite of spaghetti poised right next to his mouth.

"It was...interesting."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, I have two months of paid vacation I have to start using or I'll lose it."

"Hmmm. I don't think I'll be able to get away from the hospital any time soon," Edward mused, a look of concentration on his features.

"And I had to report Mike Newton again," Bella mumbled so quietly she hoped that Edward didn't hear.

"What did that slime ball do this time?"

"Just the same old gross flirting. It wasn't anything serious."

Edward put his fork down and gripped the edges of the table with both of his hands, as if he was going to lift the thing up and snap it in half.

"Do I need to go give him a beat down?" he seethed.

"What? No, of course not. It wasn't a big deal. I took care of it already." She shrugged, smirking slightly, and took a bite of her salad.

"What do you mean?"

Bella then explained her arm wrestling maneuver and her threat, which elicited a chuckle from Edward.

"That's my girl."

A silence then settled over the two as they finished their dinner. The dishes were taken care of in a similar quiet that was both charged and comfortable. They took up their customary places on opposite ends of the couch, medical journal and book in hand, respectively.

"Edward?" Bella asked as he concentrated on studies and reports on the opposite end of the sofa.

"Hmm?" He responded.

"Does everything feel like it's going in the right direction?" She closed her book and laid it on the coffee table.

"What do you mean?" He asked, still zoned in on his article he was reading.

Bella sighed, struggling to find the right words to express her feelings. "I don't know. I just feel kind of...well, I'm just not where I thought I'd be at this point. Does that make sense?"

"Hmm. You just got a promotion, I'm almost done with my residency, once we get past this, it'll be smooth sailing, right?"

Bella frowned and tried to rearrange her thoughts into something that Edward would understand. Before she had a chance to voice her feelings again, Edward continued. "I know it's hard babe, but we're so close to the top of this hill. Once we're done here, we can look for work closer to our families, we can check out adoption agencies and maybe start our own family, everything's going to be fine. You'll see. We just have to stick it out."

Edward was throwing out every reassurance he could think of. The words Bella uttered in her sleep a few days ago still stuck in his mind and had him concerned. He just wanted to be able to fix whatever was going on with her so that they could go back to how they were before.

"Stick it out," Bella mused. "Maybe I could volunteer for the mentoring program at the elementary school?"

Edward nodded, recognizing Bella's need to serve, to nurture something. "I think that's a great idea, you'd be a wonderful mentor."

"I could check into it tomorrow," she said halfheartedly. His divided attention brought her already tenuous spirits even lower, but at least they were actually having a semi-civil conversation.

"Sounds like a plan," Edward set down his newspaper and tugged on Bella's hand to pull her closer to his side. She leaned in to his offered embrace enjoying a moment of calm and agreeability. They snuggled on the couch for a few minutes before Edward started rubbing slow circles on Bella's shoulder. "So how about that lovin'?" He asked in a sultry whisper.

"I was just thinking it was time for bed," she responded looking up through heavy lidded eyes. He leaned down and pressed his lips softly to hers enjoying a warm and long overdue kiss. She responded tentatively by stroking her tongue along the seam of his mouth, pulling his lower lip in between hers, sucking gently.

Slowly they laid down on the sofa without breaking their connection. Soft moans floated from Edward's throat as Bella thrust her hands into his mop of unruly copper hair. She shuddered as his hands ghosted over her ribs and the undersides of her breasts.

"Bed. Let's go to bed," he breathed roughly against her throat. She pushed herself up off the couch and reached her hand out to him. They kissed and walked and stopped and kissed some more, somehow managing to finally make it to their bedroom. Pieces of clothing were discarded until they were kneeling on the bed, pressed close together, in just their underwear.

A loud beep blared through the room just as Edward was reaching around to unclasp Bella's bra. "You have got to be freakin' kidding me!" Edward shouted as Bella immediately sagged onto the bed and rolled to the side. He snatched the hospital pager off the night stand to look at the display. When he read the message he groaned in complete and utter frustration.

"Call in. Tell them you'll be there for the start of your shift promptly at six am." Bella pleaded, but she knew just by the look on his face that she would once again play second fiddle to the hospital. She reached for her nightgown which was tucked under her pillow.

"There's a massive trauma in Boston and they're life-flight'ing several critical patients to DHMC. They're calling in all hands. I'm sorry hon. Please believe how sorry I am, but I have to go in." He covered her mouth in one last searing kiss but he was already reaching for a set of scrubs and his shoes.

"Will you call me when you get a free moment?" Bella asked as she pulled her nightgown on.

"When I get a chance I'll call. Love you." And with that he was out the door.

"You, too." she whispered as she sunk into the empty bed, one lone tear rolling down her cheek.

~OoO~CBTM~OoO~

Bella dragged herself home from another tedious and stress-filled day at _Banner and Cope_, flopping into a chair with a cold bottle of water and her phone. She'd promised days ago that she'd give Alice a call. Her job was so stressful and repetitive that the days just blurred together and she constantly lost track of time.

"Hey, Alice! How are you?" Bella smiled brightly as she greeted her sister-in-law.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so glad you called. We are doing great. Gosh it seems like it's been a million years doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it has been too long. So how is my little Libby Lu?" Olivia Lane Whitlock was two and a half years old and the cutest little button on the planet.

"She's perfect, she looks at your wedding picture and always asks about Auntie Bewwa and Unca Weddie."

Bella choked up at the thought of her sweet little niece and all of the milestones she was missing with their family on the other side of the continent.

"That's really sweet, Alice. You tell her that Auntie Bewwa misses her lots and lots," she couldn't hide the traitor sniffle that sneaked itself in. Of course "Eagle-ears Alice" heard and pounced on the sign of distress.

"What's up, Bella? I know it's more than just missing Libs. Tell me what's going on, hon."

"It's nothing, Alice," she hesitated, not really wanting to spill her guts, but needing to at the same time.

"Don't you dare try and pull that business on me. I can hear it in your voice, Bella. Maybe I can help, please?"

"Ali...I just...I feel so lost. I hate my job, but I can't quit because we need the money and I'd never be able to find anything that pays near what I'm getting there."

"Is it really that bad?"

"Soul-suckingly bad. And that's not including the jealous harpies that start rumors about me or the overweight grease ball that's constantly making passes at me. I am not cut out for office politics."

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry. That really does sound awful."

"This is not at all where I saw myself five years after we got married. I was expecting to be writing creatively and doing mommy things like park dates and play groups. And it doesn't help that Edward is hardly ever home, and when he is he's either sleeping or we're arguing about something. So stupid...it's just so..." A hiccup and a sob broke through her carefully constructed defense systems.

"Sweetie, have you told him this?"

"Told him? There's no way. He doesn't get it Alice. He just thinks that if we _stick to it_, that soon we'll be on the yellow brick road skipping to the Emerald City."

"Ugh. Stupid man," Alice muttered a few things under her breath. "Bella, maybe you should come back here for a visit? Change of scenery and all that. What do you think?"

"I don't know, Alice. It's more than just needing a change of scenery. These last few years, it seems like I've been living in someone else's body. I used to have all these goals and dreams. We, Edward and I, had plans, and all of that has been pushed aside and forgotten, and I really hate who I've become as a result," she sobbed piteously on the phone.

"Oh, honey, if I was there, I'd wrap you up in the biggest hug I could manage," cooed Alice trying to calm her dearest sister and friend.

"I've got to take some vacation time soon, so I'll think about coming for a visit maybe. I don't know, I just have this itch that I know if I don't scratch it, I will regret it forever."

"Well, you know our door is always open, so don't hesitate to come whenever you need to."

"Thanks, Ali. Love you sis."

"Love you too, Belly-boo."

Bella hung up the phone and popped a bag of popcorn in the microwave oven. If Edward wasn't going to be home, she really didn't feel like making the effort.

Her mind swirled with ideas of what she could do to get herself out of this funk she was in. She broke into a wide smile as she sifted through the mail on the coffee table and found the cooking magazine that Renee had given her for a Christmas gift.

She flipped through the pages, folding down the corners of those with tasty looking recipes. The bag of popcorn she called dinner was beginning to mock her from the table and she was regretting not putting in a little effort into an actual meal. She got all the way to the back where all the classified ads were. Usually she'd turn back to the start and read all of the bookmarked recipes more closely so that she could come up with a mental grocery list, but this time, a little square ad in the corner of the page caught her attention.

She read it once, twice, and then said out loud to no one at all in the empty apartment, "This is it. This is what I need!"

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**A/N: Remember to check out my entry into the 2010 Age of Edward Contest, "A Love Not Forgotten". **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello all ! I hope you've had a wonderful last couple of weeks. I've been posting teasers over at The Fictionators site. So check there on teaser mondays, and if you see a teaser from me, I'll probably be posting that week. **

**Thanks to the usual suspects, Sweetthunder and BellaMadonna for giving these words a good once-or-twice-over. **

**Voting for The Age of Edward contest has begun. Check my profile for the link, and please go vote for "_A Love Not Forgotten"._**

**I'm on the Twitter, if you want to follow my nonsense ;) Melolabel**

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Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 3**

Weeks had gone by, and the fights over the thermostat had settled down. Mostly because the temperature was pushing into the 80's and the old building seemed to trap heat in the summer as easily as it allowed the cold to permeate in the winter. The humidity was stifling and Bella was getting more and more frustrated that her requests to put the window air conditioner in had been brushed aside.

Waking up alone in sweaty pajamas was demoralizing enough that readying herself for work seemed almost pointless, since by the time she arrived at the office, her hair was frizzed and her antiperspirant had already failed; the humidity was that oppressive. She sent a text begging Edward to please find a few minutes to help her install the cumbersome window unit, hoping that maybe if he thought she was planning on doing it herself, he'd be spurred into action.

The generic response of, "I'll try," came hours after she'd sent the first message. It was his standard response when he was putting her off. She remembered a time when they were dating that he insisted on doing everything for her. He wouldn't even let her open a door by herself let alone try and install an air conditioner. Back then, they were the center of each other's universe; lately though, that center had shifted and it was like they weren't even in the same galaxy.

She muddled her way through another excruciatingly boring day of glossaries and appendices that her team was editing. The only thing breaking the monotony was the occasional hurricane watch warning that interrupted her "work-approved" radio station. On one of her breaks, she stood next to the window that overlooked the parking lot and frowned at the ominous clouds that were swirling in. She crossed her fingers, hoping and praying that it wouldn't start raining until after she got home. She could see her umbrella sitting in her front hallway at home, unceremoniously forgotten in the morning rush.

She heard the fridge in the break room open and close, and the shuffle of rapidly disappearing feet. She turned just in time to catch the retreating form of Mike Newton. Thankfully, the scuzzball had kept his distance since their run-in a few weeks ago; their interaction remaining blessedly sparse and focused solely on work.

Bella wasn't especially looking forward to leaving the air conditioned office, but she really had no desire to stay longer than was needful. At five o'clock on the nose, she gathered up her things and headed home. The word "home" had begun to feel foreign to her and she could barely assign it a place anymore. She was beginning to feel like a ship without a sail, rudder, or port.

She thankfully made it home before the threatened downpour and keyed open the small mailbox, pulling out the inevitable bills and junk mail. There was also a manila envelope sloppily folded and creased in order to get it to fit into the small pigeon hole. She tried to smooth it out one handed, balancing the rest of her things in her left hand, and smiled when she saw the return address. She'd been waiting weeks to get this information.

Rushing up the stairs, sweat dribbling down her neck, she hurriedly opened the door. She went through the ritual of forcing the windows up, propping them open with dowels, since the counterweights didn't seem to want to hold them open, and turning on the one oscillating fan they had splurged on last summer.

She quickly shed her work clothes, hopped in a cool shower, just to get her temperature to a more comfortable level, and re-dressed in her favorite silky camisole and tiny boy shorts. With her hair wrapped up in a floppy bun, she fixed herself some ice water and sat down to read the contents of the large brown envelope that sat waiting for her on the coffee table.

Before she had even pulled the sheaf of papers out, the sky opened up and rain began pounding down hard, droplets splashing onto the living room floor through the open windows.

"Shoot!" she said aloud, and hurried to close all of the windows. She grumbled to herself about how humid it would be in a few minutes but at least the rain would cool off the air a bit. The sky had grown black with clouds and the air was charged with electricity. Just as she closed the last window, a loud crack of thunder roared overhead and a large bolt of lightning streaked through the sky causing her to jump. Her lips turned down in a frown at the nasty weather. She didn't miss the rain in Forks at all, so when a doozy such as this one cropped up, it always turned her mood sour.

She felt her stomach grumbling and rummaged through the once again bare fridge, coming up with a small bowl of spaghetti. She grabbed a fork and tucked in to the cold noodles as she sat down on the couch. She began to pore over the materials, getting more and more excited with each turn of the page.

Bella closed her eyes and tried to imagine what it would be like to be unfettered by duty and circumstance. She tried to remember what it felt like to have a goal that she looked forward to. She tried to remember what life was like when she and Edward were happy and in love. She hated that she felt so trapped, because on paper, where they were, was exactly where they'd planned to be; minus the 1.2 children. The sad part of reaching a goal is realizing that it's not really what you wanted because you never stopped to think about what you really wanted in the first place.

She grew more and more angry and frustrated as she thought about how cheated she felt over her infertility and how alone she was, being so far from her family and friends. She resented the fact that she had to keep a job that she hated, not because of Edward's education— she would never begrudge him the tools to become successful in his chosen field- but because of his stupid, frickin' car. But any discussion there was off limits. The Volvo was sacrosanct and untouchable in any kind of talk about their tight finances.

If only they'd gotten something cheap, something _used_, they'd be so much better off right now. But no, he _deserved_ the Volvo after graduating. He _had _to have it. Nothing else would suit his genetically inherited car-snobbery. The thing Edward didn't consider is that his siblings could afford brand new, very expensive cars, where they couldn't. She rolled her eyes as she carried her dirty dishes to the sink and rinsed them out.

She looked at the clock and sighed. It wasn't really late, but she didn't really feel like watching television, so she moved the fan into the bedroom and curled up with a book. She must have been more tired that she'd thought because she drifted off to sleep right away.

She awoke a few fitful hours later, sweaty and uncomfortable. Even with the fan, she felt too hot and sticky. That and her eyes felt like a bucket of sand had been poured into them from the constant stream of air blowing on her face. A quick glance at the alarm clock told her that it was close to midnight. Edward would be home soon. She tossed and turned for a little while, listening to the storm that continued to rage outside, but getting back to sleep when she was this warm was going to be impossible. She padded into the kitchen and opened the freezer, relishing the colder temperature, as the air fell in chilly wisps all around her.

With her eyes closed and her mind concentrating on breathing in the cold air from the opened freezer, she completely missed the front door opening.

~CBTM~

"Thanks, mate. It would've been bloody awful having to dog about the aeroport all night."

"Hey, it's no problem. All we've got is the couch, but it's better than the floor at the airport."

"Too right, you are. So, you handled yourself well in that trauma tonight," complimented the visiting doctor from England. Edward smiled a bit at the way the 'a' in trauma sounder more like 'er'.

"Thanks man, it was definitely helpful to have an extra set of hands, even if they were trained across the pond," Edward joked with the blond haired man as they drove back to Edward and Bella's apartment. "So, did the airline say when flights would resume?"

"The agent was fairly sure that things would be back up and running by the morning, but it's sure to be all buggered up with as many flights as have been canceled."

Edward was on his way out of the hospital when he'd overhead Dr. Livingston arguing with an airline official. Having just come from the on-call room and knowing that all of the beds there were occupied, Edward had offered their couch as a sleeping alternative without a second thought. When a buddy's in trouble, you help them out. Simple as that.

"So, Dr. Livingston,"

"Just James. We're off the clock, yeah? No need to bluster on with the formalities."

"James it is, then. Just so you know, my wife is probably already asleep, so we'll need to be quiet," Edward mentioned as they pulled up into the parking lot of the apartment building.

"No problem. I was quite good at sneaking back into my parent's house growing up, so this should be a piece of cake." James flashed an ultra-bright smile full of mischief.

Edward nodded and shouldered his gym bag and laptop case. He fought with the lock only briefly before tentatively pushing the door open and motioning for James to enter. He leaned forward to pick up a piece of trash that had fallen out of his hand and so missed the exchange that occurred when James walked in to their apartment.

A shrill scream rang out before a few dull thuds were heard and a quickly retreating James was backing his way back out into the hallway, his hands crossed over his face and head.

"Oi! I came home with your hubs, love! No need for all the physical violence."

Bella stopped short when she saw Edward straightening up and looking between her and James with concern. One arm was raised high over her head brandishing a rolling pin, while a sharp steak knife was pointing at James from the other hand.

"Jeez, Bella! What the heck?"

"Who the heck is this yahoo waltzing into my kitchen like he owns the place?"

"He's a friend from work who's stranded in town because of the hurricane. His name is James Livingston," Edward replied stepping forward and removing the knife from her shaking hand. He then took a moment to observe her attire a bit more and frowned. What Edward failed to notice, since he didn't have eyes in the back of his head, was James' more than appreciative perusal of his wife's state of undress as well.

Bella glared at the man who stood behind Edward, running his eyes over her like she was something to be consumed.

"Bella," Edward whispered, "why are you in your underwear, in the kitchen, after midnight, and why are you so freakin' pissed?"

"Well, Edward," Bella spat, the annoyance rolling off of her in waves. She was now way too keyed up to try and keep this conversation at any kind of discreet level, "In case you hadn't noticed, it's eighty-eight degrees in here because _you_ haven't had time to put the blasted window unit in, and it's hot. I was getting a drink of water and standing in front of the open freezer trying to get a little bit cooler. Then this bastard comes into _my home, _into _my kitchen _and insults me and you have the nerve to ask why I'm pissed off? Did you even think to call and warn me you were bringing someone home? I spend a lot of nights here by myself, Edward. You should consider that a strange man walking in might set off a few alarms."

Edward dragged his hand through his hair feeling more than a bit embarrassed by his wife's outburst in front of his colleague. Never mind that he was a complete stranger to her.

"Bella," Edward hissed through clenched teeth, "why don't you head back into the bedroom while I get our _guest_ situated."

Her eyes blazed with fury. She could not believe he was actually going to allow this stranger to stay in their home. He didn't even seem fazed that this guy had seen her in her underwear. Just because they were doctors and used to seeing everyone naked all day, didn't mean that she was ok with being ogled by a stranger in her undies. She turned on her heel and stalked back to the bedroom.

Edward cringed as he watched Bella walk away, the delicate curve of her bottom peeking out from the short panties she was wearing. He glanced behind him and noticed that James had looked away rather abruptly and seemed to have a smirk on his face. Edward hurriedly caught up to his wife and shielded her backside until they were at the door to their bedroom.

"Bella, he had no where to go. All the hotels were already full and the on-call room at the hospital was full as well. It's just for the night. He'll be gone by the morning."

"He's a creepy perv. Don't think we're done talking about this." Bella then slammed the door in his face and flopped on top of the covers. She waited for a while, but it seemed that Edward decided to once again discount her feelings by avoiding the situation entirely. He either holed up in the spare bedroom, which was actually their office and had no bed, or he stayed out in the living room all night, talking with James. Either way, he was officially in the dog house.

When she woke the next morning, both Edward and Dr. Slimingston were gone, which was fine with her. The last thing she needed was a knock-down drag-out fight right before she left for work. She was still fuming over the rude things that James had said to her and it would appear that Edward really couldn't have cared less. That thought alone, that he really didn't care how his friends treated her, made her more sad than anything.

~CBTM~

Edward was beat. Sleeping in the old recliner in the study was not the best for fostering a restful night, but he was not about to step into the viper's lair. She'd nearly decapitated him with her venomous tongue lashing and she'd totally emasculated him in front of someone whom he liked and respected.

He and James woke up early, grabbed a couple of protein bars and took off for the airport. How could Bella hate the Volvo so much? It was a smooth ride, had comfortable seats, and the dual climate control was unbeatable. It baffled him. It didn't take long to drop James off at the Lebanon Municipal airport, so Edward had a lot of time to kill before Bella left for work.

The sky was still really gray from the storm that had raged outside during the night. There were also branches and leaves strewn all over the roadways. They were lucky their old building didn't lose power; he could tell that a lot of the surrounding areas had by all the power company trucks out. Rather than risk a flat tire or scratches on his baby by driving around aimlessly, he pulled into the parking lot of the North Country Shopping Center and put the car in park, leaving the engine on.

He was sorely tempted by the Seven Barrel Brew Pub, but he was pretty sure he'd get some strange looks if he were to try and go in there at eight in the morning. Besides, they probably weren't even opened. Instead he reclined the supple, leather seat and kept the air conditioning running. The humidity from the storm had settled over the town like a thick blanket of moisture, and the a/c kept the air in his car cool and dry.

He closed his eyes and thought about how the whole fiasco of the last eight hours had gone down. He didn't see what the big deal was. James was a nice guy, stranded by a freak storm. It's not like he was asking him to move in or anything. And Bella's reaction was over the top; he couldn't understand it. She came at him with a rolling pin and a knife for cryin' out loud.

After seeing her in barely anything though, he kicked himself for not calling to give her a heads up. He never wanted any man looking at her so unclothed. Ever. He had just assumed she would be asleep, and making an assumption had the usual outcome.

As all these thoughts swirled in his head, his eyes grew heavy and he drifted off for a while. It was the sound of his hospital pager that woke him from strange dreams of being chased by a giant slice of pizza. He glanced down at the brief message and grumbled. Dr. Garrett was calling him in to cover Crowley again.

He glanced at the clock on the dash and groaned as he slowly sat up. Bella was most likely gone to work so he felt safe in running home and grabbing a fresh change of clothes, since he'd never gotten the chance to shower or change the previous night.

Hustling to change and get back over to the hospital he realized he couldn't remember where he'd left his I.D. He was mumbling curses as he sifted through the stacks of papers and other junk on top of the desk. Another pang of annoyance struck him as his irritation over his wife's "filing" methods clouded his mind. Why couldn't she use the stupid file cabinet that was sitting right next to the desk?

Edward's hand stilled as he came across an official looking letter and a copy of an application of some sort.

_Dear Mrs. Cullen,_

_We are pleased to extend an invitation to you to join our school for the summer session. We look forward to having you in the program and will be sending further information about lodging options and transportation to our facility in Cap d'Agde. _

_You are enrolled for two, one-month courses._

1 - French cooking + intensive French

2 - French Pastry and sugar decoration + intensive French

_We hope that the enclosed list of suggested things to bring will be helpful as you prepare. You should plan to arrive 1 June at the enclosed address._

_If you have any questions or need further information please contact Jean-Louis or Marie Deschamps._

Edward stared in complete shock at what he was reading. June first, that was just two weeks away. And where in the freakin' world was Cap d'Agde? It sounded like someone trying to hock up a loogie or choking on a hairball or something.

His pager beeped loudly again, alerting him to the fact that he was needed at the hospital. He dropped the papers like they'd suddenly become very hot and dashed his eyes about the room looking for the lanyard with his badge. He caught sight of it peeking out from under the old recliner he'd slept in the night before.

Snatching it up and grabbing his keys on the way out, he looked back at the papers on the desk and shook his head. What was she planning? And why was this the first time he'd heard anything about it?

He was in a foul mood when he blustered into the doctors' lounge, depositing his personal items into his locker. People instinctively gave him a wide berth as he snatched up clipboards and charts and stalked around the ER.

Dr. Garrett had been less than pleased with Edward's gruff demeanor and handling of simple cases. He'd finally had enough when Edward came within inches of tearing an orderly's head off with his bare hands. Dr. Garrett grabbed Edward by the upper arm just as he was coming out of curtain three and firmly directed him to one of the empty, private exam rooms toward the end of the hall.

"Do you want to tell me what is going on, Dr. Cullen?" Dr. G's stance was firm, his feet shoulder-width apart, his arms crossed sternly over his chest. He was currently channeling more drill sergeant than hospital chief. The look he was leveling on Edward would have normally cowed him into a state of humility. But as the day had worn on, Edward had become increasingly upset with the notion that his wife was up to something major, behind his back, not to mention he was still royally pissed with the way she had treated Dr. Livingston.

Edward's shoulders were tense with pent up energy and emotion as he began to pace back and forth. "No, Dr. G., I don't want to tell you what's going on. I'm just dealing with some stuff at home and it's kind of bled over into my attitude today. I...I realize I haven't been giving patients my usual bedside manner and I will rectify that immediately. You don't have to worry about the level of care our patients are receiving. I'm just beginning to wonder why I always end up covering for Crowley. I never take a day off, so what is that slacker up to?"

Dr. Garrett sighed and relaxed his stance a bit. He leaned back on the exam table and gave Edward an appraising look. He noticed the dark circles under the younger man's eyes and the weary look on his features. Maybe he'd been working Cullen too much. Burning the candle at both ends was standard practice for residents, but perhaps Cullen's candle was just about burnt out.

"I'm not worried about patient care. I'm concerned about you. You look like hell, Edward." Dr. Garrett shook his head and sighed. "If you need me to lighten up your load, let me know. For now, Give your charts to Yorkie and take thirty. Get yourself something to eat and get your head back in the game."

"Yes, sir." Edward wanted to protest that he was fine, that he didn't need a break. But Dr. G really hadn't given him much of a choice. So he headed into the break room and picked up a cold bottle of water and an apple.

He'd just bitten into the red fruit when a pair of nurses came into the room in mid-conversation.

"I'm just glad the jerk is gone. If I _never _see him again it will be too soon," Nurse Gina stated with acid in her voice.

"Did you hear what he did to Sylvia?" Gina shook her head. "He cornered her in the dispensary and 'accidentally' grazed her boob."

Nurse Gina gasped in outrage as the second nurse, Abby, snorted and then continued, "Yeah, 'accidentally' grazed with his whole hand and a squeeze. He was a total and complete jerk. Good riddance back to England."

Edward couldn't help the messy spray of water mixed with little chunks of apple that spewed out of his mouth. Both women turned and looked at him as if he'd just materialized out of thin air. He spluttered a bit and scrambled for a napkin to clean up the mess.

"Uh...sorry ladies. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but who were you just talking about?" Edward tried to turn on the charm that usually worked in his favor.

Nurse Gina narrowed her eyes a bit and glared at him. He'd been way too chummy with James Livingston and she wasn't really sure if she should say, but since they'd already mentioned England he probably already had a pretty good idea about whom they were talking.

"Dr. Livingston," she stated simply.

"Has he...has other stuff like that happened?"

The two women gave each other knowing glances and Abby picked up the conversation. "I haven't heard of anything else quite so physical, but the man is a pig. The way he would speak to the nurses was downright offensive and totally inappropriate. I have no idea what Victoria was thinking when she approved his visit here."

Edward slumped back in his seat and dragged both hands over his face. "Craaaaaaaaap," he muttered lowly.

"What's the matter, doc? Is it difficult finding out that your BFF is a disgusting, chauvinistic animal, who treats all women like playthings?"

Edward leaned forward resting his head in his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. "I let him stay at my place last night because the airport was closed and the on-call room and all the hotels were full."

"Wait a minute," Gina said, "aren't you married?"

"Yes," Edward responded weakly.

"And you let that scum bag into your home?" Abby asked incredulously.

"I didn't know." That excuse sounded better in his head.

"Did he run into your wife?"

His head still hung low, he simply nodded. When he looked up, both nurses were looking at him like he had rocks for brains. "She came at him with a rolling pin and a steak knife."

"Well, good for her. Did you kick him to the curb?" asked Abby.

"No."

"What?" both women shrieked at the same time. Another knowing look passed between the two and Gina said, "No wonder you look terrible; you probably had to sleep on the couch."

"No, that's where he slept. I got the recliner."

"Serves you right. I'd have kicked you both out at knife point." With that, the two women went to the drink station, fixed their cups of tea and exited the room, leaving Edward to go over last nights events with a new perspective.

He sat there feeling lower than gum stuck on the bottom of a shoe. How had he not noticed how James behaved with all of the female employees? If he was honest with himself, whenever he'd been with Dr. Livingston, there wasn't a nurse or other female employee to be found. It was as if they scattered the minute he turned the corner. And knowing what he knew now, they'd probably done exactly that.

All of the anger he'd felt earlier about _the letter_ sitting on their desk at home, took a back seat to how badly he felt for putting Bella in such a position. He thought back to what she'd said last night. She'd mentioned that James had insulted her in her own kitchen. He needed to find out what the creep had said. And somehow, find a way to make it up to Bella.

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**A/N: So how do we feel about Edward now? I love to hear all of your thoughts and ideas about the story. And again, have faith in where I'm taking this story okay? **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello Everyone! Hope you've had a wonderful week and a half. Huge thanks to all who have read, reviewed, and rec'd. I'm so grateful to all of you!**

**Big thanks go out to Sweetthunder, BellaMadonna, and LJSummers for beta'ing and pre-reading this chapter. It is so much better than how it started out!**

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Come Back to Me**

**Chapter 4**

Anyone who saw Bella exiting the human resource department would think she'd just been whirled off the most amazing ride at Disneyworld. She wore that familiar excited-but-nauseous look, which made her cringe as she passed her own reflection in the glass wall. The harsh fluorescent lights and drab, taupe décor only served to emphasize the nauseated look she was wearing.

"_Alice would be so disappointed," _she thought to herself as she stood in front of the shiny elevator doors. Bella had no idea what she had been thinking when she bought this awful, brown potato sack of a suit or why she continued to wear it. It just confirmed to her that she needed a change, even if making that change was as scary as sitting in the front seat of a roller coaster, paused at the top of the first big down-hill run. She could feel the tension winding up in her gut, tightening into knots. The leave that she'd be taking soon was necessary, but she was nervous about how it would impact not only her position at work, since she'd just been promoted, but also how it would affect her marriage.

She desperately did not want to become another sad statistic in the national divorce epidemic. When she married Edward, she'd made her vows for better or for worse, not just until things got hard. Suddenly she felt like she could see divorce looming off in the distance like a scary monster she didn't want to face. Edward's seeming indifference to her feelings had left her feeling lost and her own sense of conflict and depression had finally become apparent to her. Bella could remember when being with Edward was as easy as breathing, wanting to be together all of the time. Since they had been together so long, maybe she hadn't ever really found out who she was without him there.

It had only been earlier that morning in her office that she'd finally come to terms with the fact that she was actually feeling depressed. She'd been reading some random article that had popped up with one of the news feeds she got online, about a new anti-depression drug. All of the feelings she'd been having — the sadness, helplessness, feeling out of control, and never feeling quite right — were all listed in the article as signs of clinical depression. Each symptom seemed to leap off of the screen and grab her by the throat. Bella couldn't breathe and she felt as if the room was closing in around her. After she found herself on her knees behind her desk hyperventilating, she realized she needed help.

She was fortunate that her doctor had a cancellation and was able to get her in that same afternoon. When she left the doctor's office, she felt better than she had in a while. After a long talk about a lot of what had been going on in her life, her doctor had given her a prescription for a mild antidepressant and urged her to talk to a counselor on a more regular basis.

When she'd discussed her intention of taking an extended trip out of the country, without Edward, her doctor was cautious. He didn't want to tell her how to run her personal life, but he had known her since Edward started his residency and didn't want Bella to make a decision she would later regret. He had encouraged her to discuss the matter with her husband as soon as possible.

It was this impending discussion that had her stomach twisting in knots as she rode the bus home from the pharmacy. It was late when she finally arrived at their door.

She could see the crack of light coming from under the door; Edward was home. As she turned the key in the lock and shouldered her way into the foyer, her forehead scrunched up in confusion, delicious smells coming from the kitchen. Huh. She didn't think they had much more than Ramen noodles left. Then again, they did have the complete Ramen noodle cook book, so he could've made something amazing. But who was she kidding? Edward didn't do stuff for her like that anymore. She had a quick flashback to high school. He had spent all day watching The Food Network and enlisted Alice to help him make her the best dinner of her life. That teenage girl saw nothing but a future of kisses and rainbows. Bella wanted to shake that girl and tell her to get ready for reality because it was about to dump a cold bucket of water all over her rainbows. Bella gathered herself together and stepped further into the apartment.

She stopped short when she saw that the table was completely dressed with their wedding china. They hadn't used that since their first anniversary. Centered in the middle of the table was a fat bouquet of purple hyacinths dotted with baby's breath, white tea-lights were lit all around the flowers and the napkins were folded neatly on each plate. There was a small card tucked into the fold of her napkin.

Bella couldn't remember the last time Edward had done something so thoughtful, let alone romantic. They'd both just been so tired – of everything.

After setting her purse and messenger bag down, she also noticed the quiet hum of the air conditioner. She hadn't appreciated it at first, but the house felt almost comfortable in temperature. Plucking the card from the napkin, she opened it slowly, noticing that Edward had stepped out of the kitchen with a dish towel thrown over his shoulder. He just stood there, leaned up against the door frame, holding the salt and pepper shakers, giving her some space. She glanced at him, cocking one eyebrow inquisitively and looked back at the card.

There were only two words on the card, but right now, they carried with them a bit of healing. "_I'm Sorry,_" was all it said. It was all she needed it to say. She looked up in Edward's direction, and couldn't help the tears that fell down her cheeks.

He reached out to her and said in a very soft voice, "I'm sorry Bella. I didn't know he was such a lowlife."

Overcome by so many feelings swirling around in her head and heart, she took his hand and sunk willingly into his open arms. For Edward, it had been much too long since he'd remembered what it felt like to cherish and protect his wife. After several moments of simply holding Bella, he could feel her body relax and her shuddering breaths slow to a more normal rate. He could feel how they fit perfectly together and he realized how much she added to him; without her, he couldn't feel whole.

Leaning back, he smiled and asked, "Hungry?"

Bella hummed and nodded. "You cooked?"

Edward's eyes began darting around and he glanced behind his shoulder into the kitchen and began backing up. "Uh, I didn't really make anything _per se_, more like I gathered and arranged."

"Edward," she groaned softly, "where did you get it from?"

When he didn't answer right away, she side-stepped him quickly and entered the kitchen. She blew out an exasperated breath when she saw the carryout bags from one of her favorite – but very expensive – restaurants. Just like that, all of her exasperation began to simmer to the top.

"I wanted to give you a special treat. It's been years since we got anything from _Jesse's_, and I wanted to do something nice for you."

"Edward, the flowers and card said all that needed to be said. This probably cost close to seventy bucks! We can't afford that."

"Bella, please, let's just enjoy the food. I'll bike to work for the rest of the month and we'll go to the farmer's market and get samples for lunch and dinner, but please, don't turn this into a fight."

As Bella's stomach quietly grumbled, while the delicious aromas of dinner wafted to her nose, she closed her eyes and tried to stamp down the stress and thoughts of how dangerously empty their bank account was. He was, at least, trying to make amends, and she really didn't want another argument. Didn't he realize how hard she was working for the both of them?

"Okay, Edward, but there are some things we need to talk about." She looked up into his face and noticed just how haggard he'd become. His eyes were dark and lacking the sparkle that had once been there, his cheekbones were sharper, and his lips looked almost ashen. Neither of them was taking very good care of themselves or each other.

"I know there is. I know."

He guided her gently back to the table and held the chair out for her. She sat down and waited patiently as he brought out their first course. Once he sat down, he reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze.

They enjoyed their dinner, mostly in silence, only mildly tinged with the weight of the conversation that needed to happen. Bella refused the saltshaker when Edward passed it to her, earning a questioning eyebrow raise.

"I..uh..I went to the doctor today. He said my blood pressure was a little on the high side and that I should try and stay away from added salt," Bella said, shrugging as she speared a piece of steak and popped it in her mouth. She probably shouldn't be eating that either, but it tasted really, really good.

Edward looked surprised at her statement and his clinical side immediately took over his brain. "What were the numbers? Did he do a full blood panel?"

Bella sighed, expecting Dr. Cullen to show up as soon as she'd mentioned her appointment. "It was 135 over 87. So not full-on high blood pressure, but pre-hypertension. And they did whatever blood work they could considering I wasn't fasting. So I may need to go back."

"Hmmm. Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what the results of the tests are. Is that why you were so late getting home?" Edward, who'd taken off his metaphorical doctor's coat once more, asked.

Feeling like full disclosure was important for the discussion they were barreling into, she responded, "Partly. I also had to stop at the pharmacy and have a prescription filled." Immediately, Edward was once again replaced by the clinician. She wasn't having a conversation with her husband anymore she was talking to super confident, ER-problem-solver-extraordinaire, Dr. Cullen.

"He didn't prescribe a blood pressure medication already, did he? Did you bring home a copy of the blood panel? Hand me your wrist, I want to feel your pulse." Edward hated doctors that wrote a script for any and everything.

"No, it's not for my blood pressure." Bella stood up, brushing his questing fingers from her wrist, and went to her bags, removing the small bottle from her purse. She handed it over to her husband, who looked at it, then up at her, then back down at the bottle.

"Bella, what doctor did you go to and why? This is an SSRI. This is for depression..." his voice trailed off.

"Yeah, I know, and... it is." Bella looked at him for a moment, hoping that Dr. Cullen would go away and her Edward would come back, look in her eyes and know everything about her they way he used to.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" His voice was soft, filled with concern and confusion. This was not the conversation he had been expecting.

"I didn't really figure it out until today. But Edward, this is just one thing in a huge mess of issues that we've been avoiding for a long time."

By unspoken agreement they got up from the table, leaving the dishes where they were, and sat down knee to knee on their bed. It was a tip that Carlisle and Esme had shared with them early on in their relationship. If they needed to have a serious discussion, have it knee to knee and holding hands. They liked having these kinds of talks on their bed because it was the place they shared the most. Again, Bella couldn't remember the last time they'd had one of these knee to knee conversations.

They both sat very quietly, tentatively holding each other's hands. Finally Edward broke the silence.

"What did James say to you?" He looked like a quiet storm, brewing and bubbling. Bella wasn't sure if this was the best place to begin their discussion but it needed to be said.

"You really don't want to know," Bella said shaking her head.

"I'm sure I don't _want _to know, but I _need_ to know, sweetheart."

Bella sighed and took a deep breath, feeling her skin crawl all over again, just at the thought of how James had looked at her and how he'd spoken to her. She closed her eyes and repeated, "He said, 'Lord luv a duck, look at the tits on you, Love! An that arse! Now that's a sight a man can appreciate coming home to. Mind if I take a peek?' Then he came towards me adjusting himself and looking right at my chest. That's when I screamed. He backed off a little and I grabbed the first things I could get my hands on." As she'd expected, Edward's face was covered with a murderous thundercloud of darkness. He didn't realize how hard he was squeezing her hands. "Edward you're hurting me," she said softly tugging her fingers gently out of his grip.

Edward's hands had curled around Bella's fingers involuntarily, as the rage inside of him burned out of control. Her voice telling him he was causing her pain brought him back to the present and he quickly dropped her hands watching, agonized, as she rubbed them. He wanted to kill the man. He wanted to fly across the Atlantic Ocean and rip James Livingston to shreds and burn the pieces.

"Bella, if I had known that, I never would've let him stay. He had never shown that side of himself in front of me. I only learned about it this afternoon when I overheard a couple of nurses talking about him." He ran his hands through his hair once before taking her hands again.

"But Edward, that's just it! What hurt was first, the fact that you didn't bother to consult me about inviting a stranger into our home, and second, that my feelings didn't seem to matter at all. You just rode over me like what I had to say was crazy and rude. It was like you were more worried about being embarrassed in front of a colleague than you were about my feelings. You're my husband and I need you to be on my side. I'm working my butt off every day for Team Edward. I just need to know that you are on Team Bella." All of the tears that she thought she'd cried out came flooding back and dripped down her cheeks falling freely into her lap.

All he could do was sit there, convicted. Because that's _exactly_ how he had been feeling. Granted he was missing some important information in being able to properly judge Dr. Livingston's character, he had still acted like a jerk.

"You're right. I was more concerned about how I looked to him. I just held him, erroneously, in high regard and you did appear unhinged."

Bella was about to begin defending her actions but Edward immediately put up his hands in understanding. "I know, babe. You had every right to defend yourself. It's my fault for not warning you."

"How did everything go so sideways?" she whispered.

"I'm not sure, love, but we'll get through it, right?"

Bella sat, stunned into silence. He'd called her "love". She closed her eyes and felt almost drowned in the feelings that one, simple, nickname evoked in her. She felt a single tear slip past her eyelid and roll down her cheek.

Edward saw the sadness in his wife's entire being. He needed to have some kind of confirmation, hope that they would be able to get through this mess; that they could get back to who they used to be. Nervousness swirled in his stomach, making him regret the heavy meal they'd just finished. Her eyes were still closed so he picked up her hands again and gave a gentle squeeze. "We _can_ get through whatever this is that's going on, right? Please tell me that we're not too far gone, Bella."

She sniffled and reached over to the nightstand for a tissue. She'd been wondering the same thing herself.

"I don't know Edward. I just...I feel like while you listen to me, you're not hearing what I'm saying."

His brow furrowed in confusion and he shook his head slightly. "I don't understand."

"Exactly, and that's the problem. I feel like a non-entity, as if I'm this soulless body of skin and bones that is just going through the motions. I hate my job. No, it's beyond that. I loathe my job and all of the people I work with. It's nowhere close to what I thought I would be doing five years after graduating, and it is killing me. I just drift through each day, doing the same routine, and I'm so isolated.

"I hate not having any friends, but I don't really have any kind of opportunity to make friends because the people I spend my days with are horrible. I would rather poke a sharp stick in my eye than go out with them after work. I think I used to have hobbies, but I can't even remember what they were."

Edward was still confused. "Hon, I thought you were gonna do that mentoring thing. What happened with that?"

"I thought about it, but that would have been a short term solution to a long term problem. Somehow, somewhere along these last few years, I've lost myself. Edward, I hate the person I've become. I used to be full of creative ideas and a desire to make and do. And that's just slipped away. There have been a few times that I came home eager to make a meal for the both of us, but every time..." she sniffled and sucked in a deep breath trying to talk through the tears that were now falling in copious amounts, "every time, you'd text me and tell me you were covering for someone else, or that Dr. Garrett needed you to stick around a few extra hours. I am never the priority anymore. I feel more like a housekeeper than a wife."

"I was avoiding you." Edward looked up sadly into Bella's eyes and hated that she looked like he'd just physically punched her in the stomach. Her eyes grew wide and she began nodding, almost like she expected him to admit as much. She tried to pull away, but he didn't let go this time.

"Before we end this, can I tell you what I've been feeling like?" He wasn't about to let her walk away without hearing him.

She stilled and nodded her head. He was right; she'd dumped all over him, so now it was only fair for him to get to spill his guts.

"Bella, ever since your diagnosis, I've watched helplessly as you've retreated deeper into this shell. When I would try to be affectionate with you, it was always 'not right now' or 'I don't feel well' or 'I'm too tired'. I gave up trying because you always shut me down. We stopped talking, we didn't go out anymore; we didn't do anything anymore. I... I didn't like spending time at home because I was either getting chewed out for spending too much or I was being ignored in favor of whatever book you were reading. I felt... no, I feel like an outsider in my own home."

She sighed. There were so many things that they needed to work on. But he did have a point. With the way she had been feeling and acting toward him, she wasn't really surprised to hear that he liked being at work better than being at home. But the spending issue needed to be dealt with immediately or they were going to go bankrupt.

"Edward, we stopped going out because we can't afford it. I know you grew up being able to spend whatever you wanted, but when we made the decision not to accept any help from either of our parents, we also accepted the consequences of that reality. We would be perfectly fine if we didn't have your ca..."

"Don't go there Bella," he said quietly. It had been a while since she'd brought up his car, but his feelings hadn't changed on it.

Bella dropped his hands and slipped off the bed. She crossed her arms over her chest and began pacing the eight feet of available space in their bedroom.

"I will go there Edward. That blasted car has put us this close to bankruptcy," she said loudly pinching her fingers millimeters apart. "If only you could've been satisfied with something used, something cheaper. I blame myself too. I never should've given in on this matter. I knew we wouldn't be able to manage it, but I thought it would make you happy."

Edward was now up off the bed and standing rigidly on his side, a deep scowl on his face. "Well it's moot anyhow since we owe more on it than we could sell it for. So what's the point in even discussing it?" he growled.

"You're right. There is no point in discussing the car, but the rest of it we can discuss." Bella then pulled up a bunch of pie charts on her laptop. "This is how much we have each month," she indicated one amount. She then pointed out the rent, the car payment, the student loan payment, and all the utilities and insurance payments. "That leaves two hundred left each month that is supposed to stretch between gas for the car and groceries. When you go and spend twenty bucks here or buy new running shoes there or go on prolonged drives, it literally eats up our food money. And when I try to tell you this, you get mad at me. It's not my fault we're broke!"

"So what am I supposed to do then? Not train? We've already spent the money for entrance fees to the qualifiers. I can't run in crap shoes; I'll destroy my knees. Should I skip lunch at work? Just not eat? That won't get me very far either."

Bella now understood why money disagreements were the biggest cause of divorce. "Number one, what do you think I eat at work? I bring lunch and you can too. Number two, you could ask your father for some help," she suggested weakly. She knew he'd never do that. He was far too prideful to go 'groveling' to his _daddy_ for money. He wanted to stand on his on two feet, without the help that his parents had so generously given to his older brother Emmett and his next oldest sister Alice. She didn't understand why his pride wouldn't let him ask for just a little bit of help.

"Bella, you know that's out of the question."

"I know."

"So... I guess I'll just take PB&J's with me to work. I guess it wouldn't hurt to ride my bike more often. But I'm not gonna be able to do that in the winter."

They each took a minute to calm down. The explosive tension was humming around both of them, and neither person wanted to ignite another confrontation. Edward was feeling fairly annoyed that his baby was being attacked, again. And that Bella had still not mentioned anything about the letter that he found on the desk earlier. She was leaning over, hands on her thighs, feeling like she needed to catch her breath after sprinting a mile.

"So is there anything else we need to discuss? Like maybe where the heck _Agde_ is?" Edward was probing. He wanted answers and if she didn't say something soon, he was going to confront her about it.

Bella sat back down on the bed, her body turned away from her husband, her back ramrod straight. He'd found something out. And really she couldn't put off telling him any longer anyhow. This was the part she was dreading. She could feel his eyes burning into her and it made her stomach roil with anticipation. He was either going to shut down or freak out and she wasn't looking forward to either reaction. She took in a long deep breath and just dove in to the mess that was their life now.

"I'm leaving." She said it simply and without preamble.

"When?" his voice was flat and devoid of any kind of reaction. He was shutting down; shutting her out.

"In a week and a half."

"Why?"

"I have to go, Edward. I have to find myself again. I _have _to remember who I was before I was your girlfriend, before I was Mrs. Cullen, before I was damaged goods – dysfuntional."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He really hadn't realized how poorly Bella felt about herself since they'd learned of her infertility. "Bella you're not dysfunctional. There are options out there; it's not the end of the world."

"Don't trivialize how I feel, Edward! My body doesn't do something it's _supposed_ to do. It's broken and I'm angry that I can't have what Alice has. I'm angry that I won't ever get to have that feeling of a life that we've created, growing inside of me. I feel totally worthless and I hate that. I need to find that part of me that was creative and full of life and I can't do that here. I'm smothered and I can't remember how to breathe."

"Bella, please, don't do this. What am I supposed to do without you? How long will you be gone?"

"I'll leave you directions to the grocery store, and the mop is in the hall closet, that's about all you need me for lately anyways," she shrugged, wincing inside, at the acidity of her words. They had the same effect as a sharp slap across Edward's face. When she registered the hurt in his eyes, she softened her tone and continued, "I'm not sure how long I'll be gone – as long as it takes, I suppose. I'll be in France for at least two months and then after that I don't know."

"How can we pay for this if we can't even afford my car?"

"I'm using my bonus from work as well as part of my inheritance from Grandma Swan."

Edward's eyes shot up in surprise, Bella had never talked about using her grandma's money; that was set aside for a house and retirement and was completely untouchable. He thought she would starve and go naked before touching that money.

"I thought you were saving that money for a house?"

"I think my sanity and self-worth are a little more important than a house that doesn't even exist, and at this point, may never exist, don't you agree?"

He flinched. How was he supposed to respond to that? Of course he wanted her to feel better about herself, he just didn't think traipsing across the world was the answer. And doing it without him was not an option he wanted to consider.

"Why do you have to go so far away?"

"Edward, this has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl. We were going to go to France on our honeymoon, but that didn't happen. We went to Mexico instead, because it's what _you_ wanted to do, _you_ thought it would be better, and because med-school, for _you_, was starting up in two weeks. It's always getting pushed off to the side and if I don't do this now, I don't know that anything else can be fixed. I can't go through life regretting not taking this opportunity. I feel like I've been off track for so long now, I just need to do something completely different." Bella's voice was starting to rise and get shaky and she didn't want to loose control now, not when she was making her big point.

"I don't know how to do any of the stuff you do around here," he said forlornly, resigned to watching his wife leave him.

"I'll write down the password for the bank website. Everything is on scheduled, automatic withdrawal through the bill pay, but you'll be able to go online and see what's already cleared and stuff. And I'll try and make some food ahead and put it in the freezer..." Her voice trailed off, as a heavy silence filled the air around them.

Edward reached out and beckoned his hurting, broken wife into his arms. "I wish I could make it all better. I wish I knew how to fix things."

Bella turned and immediately all of the posturing and fight drained out of her; making a point didn't seem so important, anymore. She scooted toward the embrace that used to be so comfortable, so _available_, that she'd taken it very much for granted.

"You can't fix everything. I just hope that some day, you'll understand why I need to do this," she whispered.

They sat there, unmoving, while a war was raging in Edward's heart. This kind of thing didn't happen to him. He'd had everything planned out. Everything was going along like it was supposed to until it wasn't. And now everything he had been so sure of before was hanging by an uncertain thread. It wasn't fair.

It finally hit him. You really don't realize what you have 'til it's gone. And at that moment he was watching his entire reason for being slip through his fingers. He wondered how he had been so careless with something so precious. He squeezed her a little tighter and tried to fight down the nervousness that bubbled up inside of him as he thought about her walking away from him. All he could do now was hope that it wouldn't be for good.

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A/N: Feel free to vent! I try to answer each question and review! If you tweet, you can follow me. Link is on my profile!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hi everybody! Thanks so much to all who are reading, reviewing, recc'ing. I so appreciate you all. I love reading your thoughts and comments, even if they are "These two are idiots and need to communicate!". I agree. They do need some communication! Let's see how they do this chapter!**

**This is the chapter that I "saw" as being directly inspired by the David Cook Song-_Come Back to Me. _If you haven't seen the video, check it. Link on my profile!**

**Thanks a bazillion, million times to Sweetthunder, BellaMadonna, and LJSummers for all their hard work beta'ing and pre-reading. These gals are the bees knees!**

***Translations for phrases used in this chapter are at the end***

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**Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 5**

The next ten days flew by in a blur of activity for Bella. She functioned on auto-pilot, ticking things mechanically off her mile-long to-do list. She spent most evenings making and freezing casseroles and other meals Edward could zap in the microwave. She also made a detailed list of all the financial transactions that were scheduled. She made sure all the laundry was taken care of, the dishes were put away, the bathroom was clean, and finally she set about packing her suitcases. If someone had asked her at that moment what was going on at work, she probably couldn't have given an intelligent answer. Her mind was already an ocean away.

It was after eight when Bella heard the keys turn in the lock. She was just zipping up the large, rolling suitcase that contained everything she thought she might need from extra socks to makeup. Edward turned the corner into the bedroom, heaving a loud yawn and running his hand through his messy hair. His brow furrowed and his mouth turned down the instant he saw the suitcase on the bed. His eyes darted over to the dresser where a smaller carry-on bag and Bella's purse rested, ready to go. Her passport and boarding pass were tucked neatly in the side pocket of her purse and a light sweater was draped over the extended handle of the smaller rolling bag. The walls of denial he had been building up came crashing down all around him.

She was really leaving. He could feel the quickening of his heartbeat as it squeezed in his chest. He was trying: Trying to understand, trying to do better, trying to be there for her. But it still felt like there was this endless chasm between them.

"So..." he said, barely acknowledging the humongous elephant sitting, zipped up, on their bed.

"So..." she responded, looking at his shoulder, and the top of his head, anywhere but directly in the eye. She was sure that if she did look him in the eye, she'd see the hurt she was causing him. Part of her, though - the part that was hurt by his admissions of avoiding her and caring more about the esteem of a peer than his own wife – wanted him to see straight through her eyes and into her broken heart. But she wouldn't rub salt into the already gaping wound that they had both inflicted on their marriage.

She turned back to the suitcase and began hefting it off the bed. After the first tug, his warm hand curled over hers and he murmured, "Here, let me get that for you."

"Thanks," was the only reply she could muster. The awkwardness that filled up every last inch of space in the room was stifling. She followed him out of the bedroom, wheeling the smaller bag behind her. When they had deposited both cases by the front door, Edward's shoulders lifted and fell with a defeated sigh.

He turned and took Bella by the shoulders, his thumbs stroking gently over the rounded parts of her upper arm. "Can we just pretend that everything is normal? I know it's not. I know that we're far from okay, but just for tonight? Can we just have this one night to feel like we did five years ago?" His soft, honeyed voice, wrapped around her like a warm blanket and she longed to let everything go; to let bygones be bygones and just start over with a clean slate.

She desperately wanted to be that woman she was five years ago, but she barely even recognized her anymore. Maybe she could pretend. Just for tonight. Her posture was still tight and uncertain, even as Edward continued to rub her shoulders. He leaned forward and rested his forehead gently against hers.

"Please, let me have this one night to love you, before you go. Please," he whispered, his lips just a breath away from hers.

She lifted her head and pressed her trembling mouth to his, accepting with her actions what he was offering. Gently, he lifted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist without thought. She broke the kiss and rested her head on his shoulder as he walked them back to their bedroom.

Nothing else was said as clothes were shed and they immersed themselves in a bubble of suspended reality, loving each other as tenderly as though they might break. They let everything go, just for the night.

~CBTM~

Any outsider would guess they were just another couple bidding farewell. They did their level best to keep any explosive, emotional outbursts under wraps. They just stood there off to the side of the security check line wrapped in each other's arms.

Bella was torn in two over her decision. On one hand, she was excited for the adventure of a new culture, country, and experience. She could already feel a deeply buried part of herself beginning to awaken. On the other hand, she really didn't want to leave the security that she felt with Edward. That safe feeling had been rekindled as he paid more attention to their relationship and marital issues over the last ten days. Was she about to kill the tentative bridge they had begun to rebuild? It was so fragile.

The pessimistic part of her brain shouted, _"He's just doing it because you're leaving him. In a week or two, it'll be back to the same as it was before you decided to leave."_ But her heart hoped otherwise. She fervently hoped that he would take to heart the things they'd discussed and take a closer look at his priorities and where his focus belonged.

Once their embrace had run its natural course, they pulled apart. Bella's swiped at her watery eyes and willed herself to get control of her emotions. This is what needed to happen. There would be no _Bella & Edward_ if she couldn't find out who _Bella_ was. Edward cupped both her cheeks in his hands and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I'll be right here, waiting. Just promise me, when you find you, come back to me. Okay?" He looked deeply into her eyes, his own shining with unshed tears.

For fear of a grotesque sob escaping her throat, Bella simply nodded silently and leaned up to place one last kiss on her husband's mouth. She let her fingers trail over his morning stubble, and tried to smile. Grabbing the handle of her carry-on, she shuffled into the line with all the other out-bound passengers.

Just as she passed out of view, she turned one last time and blew a kiss to Edward. He held up one hand and waved once before she melted in with the crowd of people beyond his sight.

Bella walked resolutely through the long corridors until she found her gate. She sat down and stared blankly out the window, thinking about what she'd just done.

She and Edward had been an intertwined, cohesive - up until the last several months - entity for more than ten years. They'd known each other for longer than that. This was the first time, since Edward did a study abroad in Italy during the summer after their junior year, that they would be apart for longer than a night or two. The weight of that realization hit her squarely in the chest. Only moments after sitting down she bolted out of her seat, dragging her suitcase haphazardly behind her, and ran to the nearest restroom.

Once inside, she locked herself in a stall and took a deep, shuddering breath. The temptation to call Edward and ask him to come back and get her was rising. She'd never been out on her own before. Not like this. She chuckled dryly to herself and muttered, "When you decide your life needs a change, you certainly go all out."

After a few minutes, she was finally able to talk herself down from the mental ledge she'd been teetering on, and wrestled her way out of the stall. It was easy to walk in, but not quite as easy to maneuver her carry-on, purse, and self out of the little cubicle. Taking in her appearance, she was surprised she didn't look worse than she did. She pulled out the small, folding travel brush from her purse and re-fashioned the low ponytail she was wearing, dampened a paper towel, and wiped her face. The skin under her eyes was a bit splotchy, but there was nothing to be done for that. All of her cosmetics were in her checked bag.

Having calmed down a bit, she wandered into the news shop and browsed through the magazines and books. She needed something that would let her mind zone out for a while. It seemed like she'd had a constant headache from all the thinking, analyzing, and worrying she'd been doing. She'd shown Edward all of her routines, all of the bank stuff, now she needed to let it all go. If she couldn't, the stress was likely to be such an enormous stumbling block in her path she'd never accomplish the purpose of this trip.

She paid for a copy of _Bon Appétit_, a paperback novel-_A Love Not Forgotten, _a bag of chips, and a drink. She wandered out of the shop, smiling as she read the back cover of the novel; romance was truly her only indulgence. She tucked her purchases into her purse and returned to her gate. Just about a half-hour later she was in the air and on her way to France.

After a long and mostly undisturbed flight, a slightly haggard Bella disembarked in Paris and followed the signs to the gate for her connecting flight to Toulouse. She'd barely had time to settle in with her book before the plane was landing again.

She waited her turn to exit and followed the crush of passengers to the baggage claim. She'd been practicing her high school French. She'd even found an application for her phone that let her study basic phrases and vocabulary. She thought she had been doing pretty good until she asked someone - in her best French ever — where the train station was and they looked at her like she had just insulted their mother while smelling like garbage.

She was left a bit bewildered as the woman whom she'd approached gave her a dismissive _click_ of her tongue and walked away. She stood there, a scowl on her face, looking around for an information desk, or anyone who looked like they'd be able to help her. She called out a weak, "Excusez-moi?" waving at one person and the next, trying to get just one person to stop, but was met with even more nasty glares and _clicks_.

Her irritation and exhaustion were giving way to that awful, prickly feeling you get in your eyes right before you start crying. She was seconds away from a full-blown melt down when she heard a voice behind her.

"Vous êtes perdue?"

Bella turned to look straight into a black t-shirt. As her eyes drifted up, a broad, white, smile and eyes crinkled in slight concern, met hers. Then her brain kicked in and she tried to remember the vocabulary words she'd been studying. _Perdu...perdu._ After a moment of complete confusion, suddenly she remembered.

"Oui! Je suis perdue! Lost. I'm totally lost." She grimaced at how stupid she sounded, jumping at the man's question like it was life preserver.

"Ah. You are Américaine," his heavily accented English, was still English and it was music to her ears because she could understand him. "Where are you trying to go?" he asked, raising his eyebrows just a bit, and still flashing a ridiculously dazzling smile her way.

_Jeez he's young, _Bella thought, as she looked him over once more. He had a large duffel bag slung over his shoulder, and dark jeans to go with his black t-shirt. His jet-black hair was cropped on the sides and tousled on top. He was tall and had very classic, Mediterranean coloring: tan skin, dark hair, and dark eyes. But it was the boyish dimples and the complete lack of any kind of wrinkle - anywhere – that led her to the conclusion of his youthfulness. Not that Bella was an old lady at 27, but still.

"I need to get to the train station. I'm going to Agde."

His smile grew even wider, if that was possible, and without another word, he grabbed her luggage and said, "You are in luck! I am going the same way, to Béziers. Perhaps we can keep each other company on the ride, no?"

What on earth was happening? She'd been in the country for hours and already she was being picked up by a smooth-talking Frenchman?

"NO!" she shouted, a bit too loudly for the circumstances, "I mean, I appreciate the help, but I don't think...I...Uh...I'm married!" Her face flamed with embarrassment and she wished that the floor would open up and swallow her whole.

The young man studied her for a moment, slightly amused perhaps, by her outburst, and then shrugged. "It's no problem. I just thought we could split the cost of the taxi to the gare. No funny business, okay?"

She looked up sheepishly and nodded, thanking the man for his help. "My name is Bella Cullen," she offered her hand and a smile.

"I'm Jacob, it's good to meet you Belle-Américaine." He chuckled at his own joke and continued to pull Bella's suitcases to where she assumed the taxis would be waiting.

Jacob looked at his watch and muttered, what she could only guess were some choice curses in French, under his breath. When they got into the cab, he told the driver where they were going and added, "Pouvez-vous vous dépêcher, on est très pressés."

The driver peeled out and sped through the winding streets to the train station. Both he and Jacob jumped out of the car as if it was electrified and hurried to the trunk to pull out the bags. Jacob tossed a couple of bills to the driver and said to Bella, "Hurry, chérie, the last train is leaving in about fifteen minutes."

That news jolted Bella into action as she grabbed the smaller of her two suitcases and did her best to keep up with Jacob. They ran inside and Jacob walked right up to a computerized terminal and tapped in the travel information for both of them. This time, Bella managed to get her credit card into the machine before he could insert any of his own money, and paid for the tickets.

He narrowed his eyes at her, but acknowledged that they didn't have any time to waste. They ran through the station, down a large flight of concrete steps, underneath one platform and up another ridiculously long flight of stairs to the platform from which their train was leaving. Bella was completely out of breath and ready to die as they ran to the doors of the train.

Jacob held his hand out for Bella as she climbed up into the train, and then chucked all their bags in behind her. Just as he climbed up into the train it jerked into motion, sending Bella stumbling forward. He managed to steady her arm just before she fell, and smiled kindly.

Once their luggage was stowed, they found an empty set of four seats. Jacob took the rear-facing set of seats, while Bella sat diagonally from him on the forward-facing seats. He promptly kicked up his legs, resting them on the spot next to Bella, effectively trapping her into the little seating area. She couldn't help but notice how tall and strong he was, but more so, how completely comfortable he was in his own skin. If you only saw the look on his face you would think he was on a beach in Cannes holding a cool drink and wiggling his toes in the sand. Bella wanted that, she reminded herself; that's what she was here to find.

"Ah, oui. I love a good run for the train."

"I think that's one experience I really don't need to have again," Bella responded, still trying to catch her breath.

"So, Belle-Américaine, why are you going to Agde?" He had his arms behind his head, and looked as comfortable as one could get in second-class train seats.

"I'm going to a cooking school there," she responded, looking out the window. The fading light of day was casting an amazing golden hue over the rolling, vineyard-covered hills.

"Well, you have come to the right place. There is no better food on the planet, than here in France." He closed his eyes and leaned back, allowing the clickety-clack of the train to relax him.

He didn't bother the silence, but let Bella enjoy the view until night fell completely. Bella was flipping through her magazine but she didn't really feel like reading; she was just nervous about how Jacob might perceive her continuing the conversation. It certainly wasn't a crime to talk to someone, especially when that someone had been so helpful.

"So why are you going to Buh-zeers?" She tried to pronounce it like he had, but obviously failed miserably, when he began laughing uncontrollably.

"It's Béziers, like _bay-zee-ay_," he pronounced it again, slower, like she was an idiot, which, apparently, she was when it came to speaking French. "I'm going to help my Papa. He's an invalide and is moving to a new flat on the lowest floor. He has a fauteuil_..._ah...how do you say?" He made the motions of pushing wheels on either side of him.

"A wheelchair?" Bella offered.

"Oui! C'est ça. A wheelchair."

"That's good of you to help him. It's good to have people who love you," she mused, looking back out the window.

"And you? You are here by yourself?" He looked pointedly at her plain, gold, wedding band. She'd left her diamond engagement ring at home, partly because she didn't want to risk losing a family heirloom, and partly because she knew she wouldn't be able to wear it during her cooking classes.

Her eyes snapped to Jacob's guileless face and then squirmed in her seat, returning her gaze back to the darkened window, staring into the nothingness. "It's...complicated."

"No matter. I should not have asked."

A charged silence settled between the two travelers as darkened scenery blurred past them. Bella was jerked awake when the train came to a rough stop and a woman's voice chimed over the intercom, "Narbonne, ici Narbonne. S'il vous plaît, assurez-vouz de n'avoir rien oublié dans le train."

Jacob shifted in his seat and said, "My stop is next. Here," he reached for his wallet and pulled out a few bills handing them toward Bella. "For the ticket," he said with a vibrantly white smile.

"No. Don't worry about it. Consider it payment for your help with getting me to the train."

He frowned a bit and stuffed the money back in his billfold. "Bella, I cannot accept money for doing that. It was normal, something anyone should do."

Bella snorted at the remembrance of how many others had snubbed her.

"How long are you in France?" His change of subject was jarring to her mind and it took her a second to process what he was asking.

"Uh. Two months. Why?"

"If you want, I could show you some of the hidden gems of the Région Languedoc-Roussillon. I could be like your tour guide?"

"Why?" Bella was confused by his offer to show her around France and more than a bit wary of his eagerness.

He laughed and shook his head slightly. "You're funny. I like you, Bella. You're not like other American women I have met. Here," he said scribbling down numbers on the back of her ticket. "That is my mobile. If you get bored with Agde and you want to explore, give me a call. Okay?"

Bella nodded and took the ticket stub back, not that she would have any reason to call him. So she didn't see the harm. As the train pulled into Béziers, Jacob leaned forward, catching Bella totally off guard, and kissed both sides of her cheeks. "A bientôt, Belle-Américaine!" he said, as he grabbed his duffel and bounded off the train.

It took her the full amount of time that the train was in the station, waiting for passengers to unload and load again, for Bella to remember the fact that it was customary and completely normal for people to say goodbye the way Jacob had with her. She sat there holding her cheeks for what felt like hours. She almost didn't hear the intercom lady announce that they'd arrived in Agde.

Still in a daze, she muscled her suitcases out of the storage cubby near the door and descended onto the platform. This was a much smaller station than the Toulouse gare, and she was seriously grateful that she didn't have to go down or up any more stairs.

As she entered into the station building, a shorter man with that same Mediterranean look, but a decidedly _not_ French accent walked up to her and asked, "Are you Isabella Cullen?"

Of course her verbal filter, which had been faulty all day long, once again malfunctioned. "You're not French!" she said with surprise.

He laughed and shook his head no. "Grew up in Seattle. But I married a Frenchwoman. Hi. I'm Ben Cheney, or as they say here in France, Chênier."

"It's good to meet you, Ben. And it's just Bella." He smiled and held out his hand for one of her suitcases.

"I'm sure you're beat. Angela has a little snack waiting at home for you. Glad you got here safely."

"Me, too. I'm really glad to be here."

* * *

**A/N: I know this one is a little on the shorter side, but the next couple are longer. Thanks so much for reading! **

**Translations**-

**Excusez-moi?** : Excuse me?

**Vous êtes perdu?** : Are you lost?

**Oui! Je suis perdu!** : Yes! Yes I'm lost!

**Gare** : Station, usually train station

**Belle-Américaine** : Beautiful American

**Pouvez-vous vous dépêcher, on est très pressés** : Can you go fast, we're in a big hurry.

**chérie** : Sweetheart or darling

**Ah, oui** : Ah, yes

**fauteuil roulant** : wheelchair

**Oui! C'est ça **: Yes! That's it

**Narbonne, ici Narbonne. S'il vous pla****î****t, assurez-vouz de n'avoir rien oubli****é**** dans le train** : Narbonne, Narbonne here. Please make sure you haven't forgotten anything in the train. (This was my favorite train station announcement when I lived in France)

**A bientôt, Belle-Américaine** : See you soon, Beautiful American


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello my wonderful readers. I was going to post a teaser for this last night, but then I just decided to post the whole thing today. Sorry it's a bit late, I hope you enjoy getting a peek into Edward's head. Thanks so much for reading/reviewing/recc'ing. I love hearing from all of you.**

**A big thanks to my betas and prereaders, Sweetthunder, BellaMadonna, and LJSummers. **

* * *

**Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 6**

Edward drove home from the airport in a fog. He was sad and lonely, but as the miles of pavement rolled under his car, those feeling dissolved and he became angry. Why did she need to leave him? He punctuated that thought by slamming his hand against the steering wheel. How could they fix what was wrong if she didn't stay? What could she possibly find half a world away? He grew sick with the thought of some creepy Frenchman coming on to his wife with a stupid, charming accent, and a sultry, "_Hon, hon, hon._" The mere thought of it made him want to pull over and vomit.

But then he remembered whom he was thinking about. This was _his_ Bella. He shouldn't and wouldn't question her loyalty to him. He also reminded himself that he loved her for all of the things that made her _Bella_, every little detail of her personality that made up the unique and complicated woman she was. They both took their wedding vows seriously, in good times and bad. This would most definitely fall into the "bad" category. He cast the rogue thoughts of romantic entanglements to the back of his mind. She would never do that.

As he trudged up the stairs to their little apartment, he started a mental list of things Bella had mentioned. She wasn't happy with work, though she'd stated that fact a little more forcefully. She didn't know who she was anymore. She felt lost. She was lonely. She felt like she was damaged goods; that her body didn't work right. She was depressed.

That last realization hit him square in the chest. He was a doctor, for Pete's sake! How had he not seen the signs? What was that old saying his Grandma Cullen always quoted? Something like, "The cobbler's children have no shoes and the doctor's wife dies young." He sunk into a chair and deflated completely when he thought, "_Maybe if I hadn't been a self-absorbed jerk, and come home once in a while, I'd have noticed._" Edward had spent so much time running from himself, trying to prove himself to his family - especially to his father - that he had lost sight of his wife and what it meant to be a supportive partner; a husband.

He lifted the neatly written paper from the coffee table and popped open his laptop. Carefully, he scanned over the different bullet points Bella had written. Dates for when the rent would be paid, when the utilities would be paid, when his car payment would be deducted, loan payments, and insurance payments, were all neatly laid out in chronological order. He'd never realized how many bills they had. No wonder she was so stressed by everything.

He logged into their bank account and clicked on the bill-pay link, just to see the bottom line As his eyes followed down the list of each payee, they got bigger and bigger. When he got to his car payment and their car insurance payment, he sagged. Those two payments alone were nearly a thousand dollars!

The numbers were making his head spin. How did Bella deal with this every month? Giving up trying to understand the complexities of their bank account for the moment, Edward got up and dressed for a run. He had less than a month to get his butt in shape for his qualifying race. If he didn't get a decent time, he'd have to scrounge up entry fees and money for travel to another race, and it just wasn't likely that he'd be able to do that and get the time off he needed. He was already going to owe Yorkie and O'Malley at least two shifts each, just to get the time for the race he had coming up.

On his way out the door, the phone rang. It was too soon for Bella to be calling. He glanced at the caller ID and, seeing that it was Alice, he reached for the receiver, but then decided to let the answering machine pick it up. He wasn't in the mood to discuss anything with his nosy sister. He loved her, and appreciated her efforts to keep them included in what was going on with all the family in Washington, but he just couldn't deal with the questions he knew she'd be asking him.

He strapped on his music and jogged out the door, losing himself just a little in each pounding step he took. Today was a ten-miler and it went by much quicker than he'd anticipated. His brain was scattered; thinking about work, about finances, about Bella. As he neared the apartment once again, soaked in sweat and feeling the ache in his muscles, he frowned. His last train of thought had brought him back to resenting all of the reasons his wife had given him for leaving.

Chastising himself for having such downer thoughts – she was only gone for two months after all – he hopped in the shower. He was looking at another long, thirty-six hour shift and scowled the entire time it took him to dry off and don his scrubs.

He hit the play button on the blinking answering machine light as he passed into the kitchen to fix himself some lunch. He smiled as he took in the two shelves full of square, plastic containers, filled with meals. Meals that she'd prepared for him.

"_Hey Bella, it's Allie. Look, I was just calling to find out if you'd given anymore thought about coming out to Forks for a visit. We can help out with a ticket if that's what's holding you back. I'd love to visit with you. Let me know what you're thinking, okay? Love you hon! Oh_, _and say _Hi_ to Edward for us, too."_

A long beep sounded, indicating the end of the message. Edward shook his head as he waited for the microwave to finish. Nice to know he was an afterthought. He wasn't very surprised that she'd talked with Alice about wanting to get away; they talked about everything. The question in Edward's mind was just how much had she said? Did Alice know about the Dr. Livingston incident? No. Alice would've reached across the country and strangled him from three thousand miles away if Bella had told her. However, he was surprised that Alice didn't know that Bella was currently on a Transatlantic flight right now.

He flicked on the TV, allowing whatever game was on to filter through the apartment as background noise. It was too quiet. It's not like he wasn't used to being home alone, but knowing that she wouldn't be home tonight unnerved him and left a very large hole in his personal world.

Wandering through the nearly spotless apartment, mindlessly shoveling in whatever delicious meal it was that he'd pulled out of the fridge, he began to notice little things. The living room was in perfect order, not a book or paper out of place. He peered into the bedroom and looked around, his eyes searching for the normal clutter. His stack of medical journals, usually spilling over and making a mess next to his side of the bed, was neatly arranged on the lower shelf of his bedside table. The top of their dresser was dusted and void of the usual collection of receipts, jewelry and books.

He opened up Bella's jewelry box and immediately noticed her diamond ring nestled in the little velvet folds. It pricked at his heart, seeing the ring in a box knowing it was not on her finger. She was currently in France, not wearing her wedding ring. He set the bowl of food down and plucked the ring from the box, fingering the diamond and inspecting the inscription, _My Love._ Even in the bright shaft of sunlight that streamed in from the window, the diamond didn't sparkle. The gold of the band was dull and lacked the polish it'd had when it was new. As he looked closer, he noticed a cloudy film around the base of the stone and little specks of dirt that had accumulated around the prongs of the setting. It needed a thorough cleaning. Maybe he could take it by the jewelers on his way in to work. He tucked the ring into the pocket on his shirt and picked up his bowl again.

Glancing over to Bella's side of the bed, he saw that her nightstand was clean except for the lamp and the picture they'd included in their wedding announcements. She peered over his shoulder as he held her, piggyback style, around his waist. Her head tilted just slightly so that their cheeks were touching. They both had the biggest, cheesiest smiles on the planet. They looked so happy. They were so naïve.

The bathroom was a slightly different story. In her haste to get ready to leave that morning, her hair dryer sat out on the tank of the toilet and her hair products were still scattered next to the sink on the small bit of counter space they had. Edward decided he would leave everything right where she'd left it. Maybe if he did that, he could fool himself into thinking that she was still there with him.

He finished off his meal and washed out the container, all the while wondering what Bella was up to. It made him uncomfortable to realize that he'd thought about her more in the last few days than he had the entire month prior. His selfishness was not a very welcomed topic of introspection. It was like opening a closet that you'd stuffed to the point of bursting, just so that the living room can be "clean." He'd shoved things away in that closet – hurt feelings, frustrations, and disappointments – and locked the door. It seemed that the time had come for him to start cleaning out that closet. He would need Bella's help to deal with a lot of the junk he had in there, since it involved them both. And it was becoming more acutely and painfully obvious that she wasn't there.

He mentally rattled the door on that bulging, neglected closet, but upon seeing the time knew that he'd have to wait a while longer to begin sifting through all of the pain that was locked up inside of it.

Stuffing a few of the pre-made dinners into a grocery sack and grabbing an orange, he gathered the rest of his things and headed off to work.

When he arrived, it was like walking into a war zone. His body and mind were immediately on high alert. Quickly he stored his things, pulled on his white lab coat and got to work.

After working up a patient with possible biliary colic, treating a severely mangled hand leading to the repair of several finger amputations, a high school kid with knee pain, two lower GI bleeds, a grandma with a fractured hip, and having a kid sneeze blood all over him, he finally got to take a break.

During all of this, his interaction with Dr. Garrett had been limited so Edward was surprised when he motioned him over to a quieter part of the hall to discuss – ie: ream him out – about his indecision over individual finger blocks versus an entire hand block for the mangled hand patient.

To add insult to injury, when he was presenting the biliary colic case to Dr. G. , Edward accidentally said 'cholecystitis' when he really meant 'cholelithiasis'. So apparently, that meant that he needed to review his diagnosis and management of gall bladder disorders. Regardless of the fact that based on everything else he'd said, he clearly just misspoke and didn't actually think that a woman with a relatively benign abdomen, no fever, no white count, no abnormal blood work, and no ultrasound findings more compelling than sludge in the gall bladder, actually had cholecystitis. But apparently that one brain fart meant he was an idiot.

His shift was only half over and he was tired; tired of it all. Tired of having no control over his life. Tired of working his butt off for crappy pay. He was tired of being the lowest rung on the ladder, and people thinking that because of that, they could dump their crap all over him. He was more than tired of having to listen to other staff docs snipe and bash each other in the constantly chaotic climate of hospital politics.

He was tired of always being made to feel as though he knew NOTHING, even if what he was currently not knowing was not something that he had ever come across before, and will never use in his specialty of choice.

He was tired of the feeling that there were not enough hours in the day to do everything he needed to do as well as he wanted to do it.

He was tired of every second of his day being taken up by SOMETHING, leaving him no time at all to do nothing. He really missed doing nothing.

He was tired of people expecting him to show up to things that wasted his time, just because he was told to. Sitting through the same academic half days that he's sat through for the last two years was NOT helpful, nor was sitting through ICU rounds when the topic was the utility and outcomes of various strategies of hemodialysis.

He was tired of living in a place where he didn't have any friends to just sit with and vent over a plate of hot-wings. Not that he'd be able to find the time for it, and after Dr. Livingston, he was seriously second-guessing his judgment in the friend picking department.

Finally, he was tired of feeling as if the staff in the ER all thought he was incompetent. Part of that might be paranoia, but when you listen to people badmouth their peers for long enough you start to wonder what's being said about _you_ behind _your_ back.

He was just tired. And pissed.

He stormed into the doctor's lounge and grabbed one of the dinners Bella had made and began reheating it. He checked his phone but there were no missed calls, no messages, and no texts. His mood darkened even more as he checked his watch. There was a six-hour time difference between Hanover and France. She should've arrived hours ago. Why hadn't she called?

~CBTM~

"_Merci beaucoup_, Angela."

"_Je t'en prie, Bella. Ce n'etait rien_!"

Bella felt like the button on her pants might pop, she was so full. Angela had prepared a spread of bread, cheese, some fruit, and yogurt for Bella. She was so hungry that she had to force herself to chew slowly and enjoy every bite of the deliciously crusty bread and tart cheese. She was pretty sure that she actually moaned a little when she took her first bite.

When she and Ben had arrived at the old four-story building, she'd been famished. They had to park a little ways down the street, but Ben was a gentleman and pulled her larger suitcase while she managed her purse and carry-on. Bella couldn't help but smile at just how "French" the building looked. Pots of vibrant red and yellow flowers spilled over window boxes with long balconies lining the façade. It was exactly what she'd pictured in her mind when she had applied for the summer program at the cooking school. She could smell the flowers and a lingering scent of freshly baked bread. One deep breath and she was immediately in love with this street.

Ben also helped himself to some of the food his wife had prepared, and they all sat around the small table in the kitchen talking back and forth and getting to know one another a little better. Bella's eyes were beginning to droop as the exhaustion of her traveling caught up with her. Angela gave her a quick tour of the flat, showing her where all the important things were.

"Okay, so your room is right here down the hall. I'm sorry there is only one bathroom and one WC. It's a good thing Janie is still a little girl. You won't have to fight for the _miroir_!" Angela Chênier had spent a lot of time in the States – that's where she and Ben met, after all – so her English was perfect. Her accent was beautiful as her words rolled off her tongue in soft lilts and waves.

"Thank you so much, Angela. Everything is perfect," Bella replied as she walked through what would be her home for the next couple of months. The ceilings were probably twelve to fifteen feet high, wood parquet floors in a bold chevron pattern trailed throughout the flat, and all of the windows in the living room, or _salon_, were actually _french_ doors that led on to the balcony. The one thing Bella couldn't get over was that the shutters weren't just for decoration. Angela explained that they kept them shut in the afternoon when the sun was shining directly on the front of the building, that way the apartment stayed fairly cool, since there was no air conditioning.

"We're glad to have you here, Bella. I hope that you will feel at home. Perhaps tomorrow I can show you where the _marché _is, and maybe a few of the other shops you will probably be interested in. Okay?" Angela smiled as they stopped in front of Bella's room.

"That sounds wonderful, Angela." Bella yawned loudly and could feel her cheeks tinge with pink.

"You must be so tired. How was the train ride from Toulouse? You found the _gare_ okay?"

"Oh, it was fine. I actually met someone very helpful. They were going to Béziers, so we talked a little on the train ride here."

"One of my fellow countrymen was actually courteous?" Angela feigned a look of utter amazement at the prospect that one of her people could be kind and helpful to a foreigner.

Bella laughed at the tone of Angela's statement. "Oh, don't worry. The French reputation is still alive and well. I'd been ignored or _clicked_ at by at least a dozen people before someone actually took pity on me and offered help," she teased.

"_Grâce au ciel!_ I was worried for a moment." Angela winked and bid Bella a good night before closing the door.

Bella looked around her room. She didn't have a balcony, but she did have a large window with a low seat, complete with a cushion and a few throw pillows. It was the most perfect snuggle-up-nook she'd ever seen. And it didn't hurt that she had an amazing view of a large park. There was a small writing table and chair in one corner, a full sized bed next to the table, and a large armoire on the opposite wall.

It wasn't the Ritz, but it was comfortable and homey. Bella plopped onto the bed, sinking into the soft sheets and squishy mattress. She contemplated unpacking, but within minutes, her eyes had closed and she was sound asleep.

She was awakened the next morning by a little finger repetitively poking her cheek. She cracked one eye opened and was met by a pair of gray eyes, inches away from her face. She sat up slowly and the little blond girl backed away.

"_Tu es Janie, oui_?" Bella asked, groggily, still trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes.

The little girl, who was probably about four, looked at the sleepy woman warily. The munchkin was still in a nightgown, clutching a beautiful princess doll. She popped her thumb out of her mouth long enough to respond with a curt, "_Oui_," though it came out sounding more like 'weh' than 'wee.'

Silence settled between the two in a strange kind of standoff. Janie's eyes narrowed toward Bella when she offered a friendly smile. "_Good grief, this little girl is sassy," _she thought to herself. After a minute or so, Angela knocked gently on Bella's slightly opened door.

"Come in," Bella called.

Angela popped her head in and frowned. "Janie! _À table, tout de suite!_" Angela pointed to the door, trying to shoo the little girl out of Bella's room. Just as she got to the threshold, Janie turned around squinted her eyes, poked her tongue out and ran away. "I am so sorry, Bella. I think Ben might know where the key to this old lock is." Angela looked truly mortified that her daughter had barged in and had woken Bella.

"That might be nice," Bella replied with a small smile. "I don't think she likes me very much."

"Oh, she doesn't like anyone very much. Including me! She is...how do you say..._difficile._ I don't know what we're going to do when she grows up. At least_ bébé _Alec is quiet." Angela smiled again and moved to the door. "_Petit déjeuner_ is ready whenever you want."

"Thank you, Angela. I think maybe I'll have a shower and then get ready for our outing to the _marché_."

Angela nodded and closed the door with a quiet click. Bella lifted her arms and groaned a little, stretching her travel-stiff muscles. She unzipped her large suitcase and began stowing all of her belongings in the armoire. It didn't take long, because she didn't have much, but she smiled with satisfaction at the orderly piles of shirts and pants and the neatly hanging couple of dresses she'd brought.

She gathered her small, sample-sized shampoo and conditioner, a set of clothing from the armoire and a towel from the closet in the hall, and conducted her_ morning toilette. _It occurred to her as she was washing that she hadn't turned her phone back on once she'd gotten off the plane.

_Crap. _She'd been so overwhelmed with just getting to the Chêniers and her struggle of getting on the train, and then meeting Jacob, that she'd completely forgotten to call Edward. He was probably freaking out. Then again, maybe he wasn't. Maybe he was glad to have her out of his hair for a while.

When she was dressed, she took her things back into her bedroom and turned on her phone. Sure enough, there were three missed calls and two new text messages. Two of the voice mails were from Edward, the third from Alice. She wasn't sure what she was going to tell Alice. Both text messages were from Edward as well, punctuating his annoyance that she hadn't called him.

She took a deep breath, and tried to blow away the negative feelings that his irritated voice mails and curt text messages were stirring up. She looked at the small clock on her night table and counted back six hours. It would be two in the morning in New Hampshire. Well, she might as well get it over with. Hopefully, it would go straight to his voice mail and she wouldn't have to deal with his crabby attitude.

She dialed Edward's number and sat down on the comfy, striped window seat cushion, staring out her large window.

"Bella? Are you okay? Why haven't you called? I've been going crazy!" His voice was a strange mixture of panicked concern and totally pissed off.

"Edward, yeah, it's me. I'm fine. I'm sorry I didn't call last night. It took forever to get to the Chêniers, and by the time I got settled in, I just completely passed out. Were you...worried?"

"Well, of course I was worried. Bella, I know things are rough right now, but you're my wife. Of course I'm gonna worry about you."

Bella was stunned silent. She didn't know what to say to that. After a good fifteen seconds of silence she cleared her throat and said, "Thanks." She looked around her room, the awkward strain of the conversation weighing down on her mind. "So, why are you awake right now?"

"I'm on shift. I just happened to be on a break when you called. Sorry, I kind of freaked out on the messages. It's just been kind of a crappy thirty hours or so."

"Sorry to hear that. Anything you want to talk about?"

"Nah. Not really. I'm just getting really tired of all the crap that goes on here behind the scenes. I don't really want to talk about it while I'm here."

"Right. The walls have ears and all," she replied.

"Anyhow, enough of my complaining. How's Agde?" he said it with an awful, garbled sound in his throat.

She shook her head at his ridiculous attempt to pronounce the name of the city. "I can't say. It was late when we arrived, so it was dark, but from what I've seen, it's beautiful. Just like I imagined it would be."

"Are you happy?" he asked quietly.

She took a minute to think about that question. She wasn't really happy, but she wasn't feeling as oppressed or discouraged as she was in New Hampshire.

"I can't really say, Edward. I feel different, like not as stressed out. I don't know. Lighter, I guess? I feel like I can finally breathe. If that makes any sense," she trailed off.

"Yeah, I guess I can understand that."

"Well, I need to get going. Angela is going to show me around the town today. Classes start on Monday, so I'll be busier. Are you off tomorrow?"

"I'm off at six, so another four hours. Then I have the day after that off. Will you call?"

"Edward, I..." She needed space, time to think. And it frustrated her that she had to leave the country to garner this kind of attention from him.

"It's okay, Bella. I get it. I do. Maybe every couple of days? Just... I'm sorry. I know I've helped create this giant rift between us. I want to try and make that right."

"Okay. I'll call in a couple of days. Love you." As she was winding up her side of the conversation, an uncomfortable, squeezing feeling had wrapped itself around her heart.

"Oh, um, Alice called and left a message on the house phone. Something about you coming out to Forks for a visit?"

"Did you call her back?"

"No. I'm not really keen on telling her anything about what's going on."

"Oh. Um, okay. So what should I tell her?"

"I...I don't know, Bella. I just don't want to get everyone involved in our business."

"Okay. I'll think of something. I'll talk to you soon, Edward. I hope the rest of your day goes better."

"Yeah. Me too. Talk to you soon."

With a soft goodbye, they hung up. He wanted to make things right. She wanted, so badly, to believe that. It would take time, though. He had stuff he needed to work on too. She just hoped that he would.

She took a few minutes and composed herself before heading into the kitchen for breakfast. She helped herself to a glass of orange juice and a croissant and sat down at the table. Janie sat on her knees on the opposite side the table, engrossed in a small container of yogurt.

"_Bonjour_, Janie," offered Bella, with a genuine smile on her face.

Janie looked up, narrowed her eyes and sighed loudly. She then licked the remaining yogurt from her spoon, looked at Bella and rolled her eyes and climbed off the chair. As she brushed passed Bella, she made that awful _click_ noise that the rude woman from the airport had made, and then proceeded to dump her yogurt cup in the trash and her spoon in the sink, before strutting away. Bella sighed, shaking her head. Maybe she wasn't cut out for kids after all?

"Oh la la, Janie. _Soit gentille!_" Angela called after her snotty daughter. "I'm so sorry, Bella. She is being more horrible today than usual."

"No, it's fine. I'm a stranger in her house. Maybe it'll just take some time for her to get to know me."

Angela nodded and began getting ready for their outing. Baby Alec sat in his highchair, quietly picking up little pieces of bread and shoving them into his fat, little face.

"_Bonjour, bébé _Alec," cooed Bella.

The baby looked at her with wide, dark blue eyes, before breaking out into the sweetest giggles. He flapped his arms up and down and began blowing raspberries with his lips. Bella smiled at his happy response and thought to herself, "_At least the baby likes me."_

They walked a few blocks to a large square where vendors had set up carts and tables piled high with all kinds of produce and large crates of fish packed in ice. Bella was in heaven as they perused all of the different booths. Some offered samples while others just shouted loudly, trying to entice would-be buyers.

Angela talked animatedly with several of the vendors, stowing her purchases in the basket under baby Alec's stroller. She pointed out to Bella where the post office was, and a few of the smaller "normal" grocery stores. Bella would need to come back and pick up some more shampoo. Her travel sized bottles would probably only last her two or three more showers before she ran out.

They passed by the _boulangerie_, and Bella nearly passed out from the delicious smell of fresh bread wafting out of the door. Like a moth to a flame, she was drawn into the shop. She had to exercise great restraint in order to keep herself from squashing her nose against the glass case full of patisseries. She scanned the shop and was completely overwhelmed. There were too many choices: Round, long, pointy, dark, light. She couldn't decide. Angela laughed at the dumbstruck expression on Bella's face.

"_Bonjour_, Mme. Toussaint! _Un grand pain et une baguette, s'il vous plaît_," said Angela.

The woman behind the counter gathered up Angela's order and then turned to Bella. "_Et pour vous, ma jolie?_" She reminded Bella a little of her Grandma Swan with her salt-and-pepper hair pulled back into a neat bun. The crows' feet and laugh lines that graced the woman's face bespoke of a happy and kind personality.

Bella blinked and thought for a few moments. "_Une petite brioche et un pain au chocolat s'il vous plaît,_" she replied in her halting French. Mme. Toussaint placed Bella's order in a small paper bag, and made change for her at the old cash register.

When she handed Bella the coins, she smiled and with a wink said, "_Bienvenue en France._"

Bella smiled widely and replied, "_Merci beaucoup_!"

As they walked back to the flat, Bella tore the chocolate-filled croissant in two and offered part of it to Janie. She looked up at Bella then at the offered confection with greedy eyes then back at Bella. Finally she cracked half a smile and demurely took the treat. As she turned away from Bella, she shoved her mouth full, smiled widely and tossed a muffled, "_merci_" over her shoulder before skipping up next to her mother. Bribery. That was the key with Janie.

Bella closed her eyes as she bit into her croissant and groaned just a little. Yes. She was most definitely in love with France.

* * *

**As always, thank you so much for reading! And remember-Have faith! :)**

**Translations:**

**Merci beaucoup** : Thank you very much

**Je t'en prie** : You're welcome, my pleasure

**miroir : **mirror

**marché** : market

**Grâce au ciel!** : Thank heavens!

**Tu es Janie, oui?** : You're Janie, yes?

**Janie! À table, tout de suite!** : Janie! Get to the table, now!

**difficile** : difficult

**bébé** : baby

**Petit déjeuner** : breakfast

**morning toilette** : showering, dressing, attending to one's appearance

**Soit gentille **: be nice

**Bonjour, Mme. Toussaint! Un grand pain et une baguette, s'il vous plaît** : Hello, Madame Toussaint! A large loaf of bread and a baguette, please.

**Et pour vous, ma jolie** : And for you, my pretty?

**Une petite brioche et un pain au chocolat s'il vous plaît** : A small brioche and a chocolate-filled croissant, please

**Bienvenue en France** : Welcome to France


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**: **Hello wonderful readers! Due to a few unforeseen beta issues (ie: Vacations to Tahiti and New Zeland), I waited a little longer to post this so that I wouldn't have to make you guys wait 3 or 4 weeks for chapters 8 and 9, which are being worked on as we speak by the lovely BellaMadonna and LJSummers. (And trust me when I tell you that you'll want to have those is fairly quick succession!) Hopefully after the upcoming holidays, we'll be back closer to a 10 day posting schedule. **

**Thanks as always for reading, reviewing, and rec'ing! You can follow me on twitter Melolabel. **

**I love hearing all you thoughts and theories, as well as general venting about these two. **

* * *

**Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 7**

Bella awoke to the feel of warm summer air wafting through her window. She stretched her legs out, reveling in the last little cool spot on the sheets. Her jet-lag had finally worn off, and she felt more awake than she had in a while. Her first cooking class was today, and she was more than a bit excited. Once she was showered and dressed, she headed into the kitchen for some breakfast.

"Bella!" Angela called out, smiling. "_Bonjour_, are you ready for your first class today?"

"I am. I've got my map, so I know where I'm going, my notebook, and my phone. I think I'm all set."

"You know, it's a little bit far for walking. I wonder if you would like to use my _vélo_?"

Bella didn't really mind the walk, but agreed to Angela's suggestion as soon as she saw the large basket hanging from the handlebars of the red, three-speed cruiser. It was just so..._French_. She clapped like a giddy school girl and thanked Angela for the bike. After pocketing the keys to the bike lock and to the apartment, Bella studied her map for a few more minutes.

Once she was confident of the route, she set off to the cooking school. The little _ville_ was swiftly coming to life: Shops opening their doors, buckets of flowers being set out on the sidewalks, people bustling to destinations unknown to her. A few tourists with cameras were already snapping away at the scenery. Bella noticed a few older couples walking, hand in hand, bent over and slow, but very obviously in love. She felt a quick twinge in her heart, but she was determined to enjoy this day completely and refused to let anything spoil it!

The smells of freshly baked pastries and coffee curled around her like wisps of steam rising up from a mug of something warm and delicious. She was half tempted to stop at a cafe and order another croissant and a cup of hot chocolate, but one glance at her watch told her she didn't have the time for that.

As she pulled up in front of the school, she found a stand where several other bikes were locked up and secured her borrowed ride to the post.

Walking through the doors of the cooking school felt almost like a rebirth for Bella. She could feel parts of her soul waking up, stretching their arms and looking around with sleepy eyes. She took a deep breath and absorbed all of the kitchen smells: Browning butter, rosemary, and onions all permeated the air.

She checked in and received her chef's coat and apron, and followed the directions to a small classroom. The room had the feel of an informal chemistry class. There was a large work table up front and six smaller work tables arranged in two rows, each table seating two students. She sat down next to the lone woman in the classroom and smiled.

"Hi, I'm Bella," she reached out her hand toward her table mate.

"Carmen. It's good to meet you," she replied, shaking Bella's offered hand firmly. Her warm, friendly face was completely disarming and put Bella at ease. She was a striking woman with porcelain white skin, raven black hair, and dark brown eyes. Bella guessed she was probably in her mid-fifties, but carried a youthful and serene air about her. "So, Bella, where are you from?"

"At present, from Lebanon, New Hampshire. But originally from a little town in Washington state."

"Lee and I are from Alaska," she said, pointing to a gentleman across the aisle from their table. "We like to do these kinds of classes when the great white north gets to be too much."

"Lee? Is he your husband?" Bella did a quick ring check and sure enough, a large, diamond ring, sparkled on her left hand. "I can move, if you'd like. I didn't know that anyone else was..."

"No, no! Don't worry about it," Carmen responded, cutting her off. "We've done a million of these things and have found that it's more fun when we sit by strangers. We're both retired and I see enough of that old codger every day as it is. It's nice to be able to make new friends and have different conversations." Her tone was light and affectionate. The love she felt for her husband was obvious in the teasing wink she threw his way just before a beautiful woman swept into the room.

All of the talking quickly hushed as this striking beauty with a mane of curly, reddish-brown hair, took up the spot behind the main work table at the front of the class.

"_Bienvenue à l'institut de la Gastronomie d'Agde_. Welcome! My name is Vanessa Louvet and I will be your instructor for this four-week course. You may call me Chef Louvet. Our focus for the next month will be _la patisserie_. You will also have lessons each day to either learn or improve your French. But for now, let's cook!" She tied her apron on with a flourish and began giving instructions for their first dish.

Bella immersed herself in the work of cooking. She enjoyed every single minute of it, even if her arm did feel like it was about to fall off. Chef Louvet introduced them to meringues, a light confection made mostly of egg whites. The catch was that no one was allowed to use an electric mixer. Instead, she'd brought out large, copper bowls and enormous whisks. Each person had to whip three egg whites by hand, and now every muscle from her fingers to the middle of her back was aching.

"See you tomorrow!" Carmen called to Bella as she was unlocking her bicycle.

Bella waved as Carmen and Lee walked arm-in-arm down the street. Her heart ached just a little as she watched Carmen lean her head onto Lee's shoulder. That was what she'd imagined for her and Edward, and right now it just seemed so far out of reach. Couples in love seemed to be assaulting Bella from every direction.

As Bella waited by a traffic light, she turned and noticed a very elegantly dressed woman looking steadily at the shop window. It was just a _tabac_, so she wasn't really sure what was so interesting about it. As she turned her attention back to the road in front of her, movement down by her feet caught Bella's attention. A frizzed out puff ball of white fur was squatting down right on the sidewalk. Bella's mouth dropped open and was working in a silent protest as the dog finished its business and started trotting away. She caught the woman's eye briefly, only to be sneered at and dismissed with another one of those hideous _clicks_.

She was definitely going to need to be more observant of where she was walking when she was in town. Traffic began moving again and she wound her way through the smaller, cobblestone streets to the large park that could be seen from her window.

She leaned the bike against the side of a bench facing the large, central fountain. Sitting down with a heavy sigh, she pulled out her phone. It was still fairly early in the afternoon, the warm breeze swirling gently around her face. She could get very used to the slower-paced, European lifestyle. Her eyes focused on the sunlight dappling the ground by her feet, as she dialed Edward's phone. She smiled at the group of old men playing pétanque on the other side of the park, all the while listening to the ringing of the phone. On the third ring, he finally picked up.

"Mmmello?" his sleepy voice, was rough and muffled. She could just imagine him answering the phone with his face still half buried in his pillow. The thought brought a wistful smile to her face.

"Hey, hon. It's me. Sorry I woke you up," she tucked one knee up onto the bench and began absentmindedly fingering the lace of her shoe.

"'S'okay. How are you?"

"I'm good. Tired. I think my arm is going to fall off."

"Why? What happened?" His voice got clearer. He must have rolled over in bed. She guessed that he probably still had his eyes closed and his arm thrown over his face to block out the sun.

"Have you ever tried to whip egg whites without a power mixer?"

"Mmm, no. Can't say that I have."

"Well, you'd probably feel like your arm was going to separate itself and walk away in protest."

He chuckled lightly at the thought before an awkward silence settled between them. Since Bella called, she felt it her responsibility to break the quiet.

"So how are things?" she asked hesitantly. It had only been four days, but it felt like a lot longer. She heard a deep sigh on the other end of the line and could picture him scrubbing his hand over his face before burying it in his hair.

"Quiet. Boring. I miss you." And that, right there, was like a knife to her heart. She missed him, too, but she was scared of falling back into the same old routines and habits that had become the norm for them. She couldn't suddenly pretend that everything was fine between them.

"Edward, I miss you too, but that doesn't change anything."

"I know, Bella. I've just been thinking about a lot of things." Her heart picked up speed and her breathing grew shallow. His words were almost as bad as the "We need to talk" words. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm her thoughts. She didn't need to sound panicked or crazy on the phone with him. That would only serve to awaken his ridiculously hyper-functioning protective gene. She didn't want him hovering and suffocating her experience with his unfounded fears.

"What's been on your mind?"

"Well, the qualifier for starters. My training schedule is pretty heavy right now."

_I guess it's a good thing I'm not there then, isn't it? _Bella thought snidely. She remained quiet, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't come out sounding acerbic. Since this was Edward's first time training for a marathon, she hadn't really known what to expect, and she wondered if this would be another thing that would suck more of his time away from their relationship.

"So do you think you'll do another once you do the Boston?" She could hear his soft groans as he stretched and got up out of bed.

"I really don't know. At this point, I'm feeling kind of burnt out, so probably not for a while. Plus I think I need...well I want to try to..." he trailed off as if he was unsure of himself.

"You want to try to what, Edward?" she asked cautiously. Just then she looked up and saw Jacob strolling through the park directly towards her perch on the shady bench.

"_Belle-Américaine_! How are you, _ma chérie_?" Bella's eyes widened in panic as Jacob's booming voice carried through the phone.

"Who is that?" Edward ground out. Bella held up her finger over her mouth, shushing Jacob. Jacob plopped down on the bench next to her and at least had the decency to look sheepish for interrupting her phone call.

"It's no one Edward, don't worry about it. Now what were you just saying? You want to try to do what?" Bella's attention was now completely split, and she was having a hard time focusing, but she really wanted him to finish his thought. She hated when he'd start saying something, and then just trail off. She waited for Edward's response but was met with silence. "Edward, are you still there?"

"I'm here. Just... never mind. I need to get some stuff done, so I'll just talk to you later." His voice was flat and lacked any kind of emotional cue as to what he was feeling.

"O..Okay. I'll talk to you soon. I love you, Edward."

"Yeah, you too. Bye." Bella heard the click of the phone before she'd had a chance to say goodbye herself. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply, sinking down a little lower on the park bench.

"So, Edouard, he is your husband?" Jacob asked casually.

"Yes. My very annoyed husband," she said, giving Jacob a pointed look.

"Sorry, I was just surprised to see you in the park."

"Yeah, speaking of which, why are you in Agde? I thought you were in Béziers." She'd turned on the bench to face Jacob. She hadn't really noticed before, but he was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a white dress shirt, though the top three buttons were open, leaving his amply developed and tanned chest exposed.

"Well, I'm meeting some friends here. We're going to Club Amnesia, you should come! It's going to be _hyper-cool_!"

"Ee-pair cool?"

"You know, like super, _fantastique_. _Hyper_."

She couldn't help but crack a smile at how excited he was about going to a club. That had never been Bella's scene, and she was actually in a mood to write. She'd brought a brand new journal with her and wanted to get as many of her thoughts out of her head and onto its pages.

"I think I'm just going to head home, Jacob." Bella began to stand and put her bag in the front basket of the bike. Jacob reached out and grabbed her hand, tugging her gently.

"Come on, Bella. It's always fun when we're dancing; everyone will love you!" The mere mention of dancing was all it took to conjure up a horrifying image of Bella twitching spasmodically in some terribly embarrassing impersonation of Elaine from _Seinfeld_. Or worse yet, tripping and falling, face first, onto the glowing floor of some Euro dance club. No, that was definitely not where she wanted to be tonight.

Bella squeezed his hand and stepped closer to the bike. "Thanks for the invite, but I really don't dance, and I need to do some writing. Maybe I'll see you around again." Bella swung her leg through the frame of the bike, and began backing away from the bench. Another small wave and she began pedaling slowly away from the park.

"_Au revoir, Belle-Américaine_!" Jacob shouted to her back.

She raised her hand and waved again without a backward glance, shaking her head at the carefree young man she'd left behind.

She stopped by Mme. Toussaint's _boulangerie_ and picked up a different type of bread. This one was long and skinny, but instead of having rounded ends they were pointy. She had tried a different type of bread each day and still hadn't found a favorite.

The apartment was quiet as she muscled the bike into the front hall. Angela had warned her not to leave the bike on the rack downstairs; Ben's bike had been stolen from there just a few weeks after he'd bought it.

"Hello? Anyone home?"

When no response came back, Bella dumped her things on the bed in her room and headed back into the kitchen with her pointy bread. She dug through the small refrigerator and found some brie and a small container of the _boeuf bourguinon_ that was leftover from the night before. She pulled out a small pot and began reheating the stew, while munching on the bread and cheese. Her pointy bread didn't taste very different from a regular baguette, which was a small disappointment.

Just as she was tucking in to her dinner, the front door clattered open and Janie's high, girlish voice echoed through the apartment. "_Encore, Papa. Encore_!"

"_Plus maintenant, princesse. C'est l'heure du bain. Allez vite ou je vais te rattrapper_!" came Ben's playful response. Bella didn't totally understand what he said but got the gist of it when Janie ran screaming toward the bathroom, and Ben was pretending to chase her with grabby hands.

Angela laughed as she came into the kitchen holding a sleeping Alec over her shoulder. "Ah, Bella! How was your first day of class?" she whispered.

"Really good. We made meringues. I think my arm is dead from beating the egg whites."

Angela chuckled, but cut herself short when Alec began to stir. "I'm going to put him to bed, then you can tell me all about it."

After a good twenty minutes of waiting, and still no sign of Angela, Bella ventured into the hallway only to be rendered still by the sight before her. Ben, who was an inch shorter than Angela, was standing on the small step that led up to the master bedroom. His arms were circled about his wife, and her head was resting on his chest, just below his chin.

Bella was frozen watching them share endearments back and forth. Her own heart clenched in her chest as she thought about the disastrous ending of her phone call with Edward. He'd heard Jacob, for sure, and assumed the worst. That was the only scenario she could think of that would turn Edward from affable to sullen in such a short amount of time.

She quietly backed out of the hallway and started washing the dishes she'd used. As she was putting the last of the utensils away, Ben and Angela came into the kitchen holding hands.

"So, where were you guys this evening?" Bella asked, as she followed the couple into the salon.

"Oh, we went for a walk down by the lighthouse," Ben responded.

"It was such a lovely evening, we couldn't resist taking the children down to see _la mer_. Janie loves to play in the sand."

"I need to go exploring soon! Maybe this weekend I can take a day to wander around town by myself."

"You should! Agde is great, especially down by the sea," supplied Ben.

"I can't believe they made you cook meringues on your first day!" Angela exclaimed as she settled into Ben's side on the sofa.

"It wasn't so bad the first couple of minutes. But by the seventh minute, my partner Carmen and I were both exhausted. Ours were the tastiest, though!"

"I'm sure they were wonderful," Angela said, closing her eyes. She looked like a contented cat, curled up next to her husband. The closeness and affection they shared would have been nearly intolerable had it not been so completely genuine. "Were you able to speak to your husband this afternoon?" she asked innocently.

Bella was glad that Angela's eyes were still closed so that she didn't have to witness her squirming. "Uh, yeah. I talked to him this afternoon, after my class was over."

Ben raised his eyebrow and asked, "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. Everything was fine. I think I'm going to head to bed. Have a good night," Bella said with a false cheeriness tingeing her voice.

"_Bonne nuit_, Bella," called out Angela, as Bella shuffled down the hallway.

When she was finally ensconced in her room, she pulled out the journal she'd brought with her and curled up in her comfy nook, sinking into the fluffy chenille pillows that lined the window seat.

Now that she was truly by herself, she took a few minutes to go over the last several days. It had been overwhelming, to say the least, getting settled and used to her surroundings. She loved the little town; every square foot of it – minus the doggie poo on the sidewalk – made her feel warm inside. The locals she'd met were all very welcoming, and she really liked the people in her cooking class. She had a feeling that Carmen, and by extension Lee, would become good friends to her. The slower pace of life in the south of France seemed to breed tranquility, infusing it into the very air she breathed.

Yes, life in France was shaping up nicely for her. As for her personal life, well, that still needed a lot of work. She closed her eyes and thought back through all of the major events of their lives together. Moving to New Hampshire was huge. At first it was an adventure. They were truly out on their own. But that was also half the problem. They were out on their own, and Bella quickly began to miss the extracurricular interaction with her Dad and with all of Edward's family.

Getting a job at Banner and Cope was exciting at first. She was fresh out of school and full of fantastical ideas of diving right into a fulfilling career as an author. The shine on _that_ penny rubbed off pretty quickly, as the monotony of editing glossaries and the backstabbing office politics began to wear her down. By then, they'd been saddled with the Volvo, school loans started coming due, and she no longer had the freedom to be picky about what kind of job she had.

She'd tried to carve out some time to focus on non-technical writing, but she was so tired from working overtime that the well of creativity had run dry. When she got home from work in the evenings, she just wanted to crawl into bed or veg out in front of the TV.

During all of this Edward had been busy, but they still made time for each other. She was the happiest she'd ever been when he'd initiated a discussion about kids. They'd been married for three years and both felt like they were ready to start trying to have a baby. For the first several months, they'd both committed to the endeavor with gusto. Whenever they were at home at the same time, they were invariably engaged in "baby dancing," so to speak. After nearly a year with no results, they'd gone to several different doctors, trying to figure out why they hadn't been able to conceive.

After some invasive testing and surgical treatment, the doctors still couldn't give her any hope that she would be able to conceive a child. Yes, they'd talked about a less than fifty percent chance they could conceive naturally. The doctor had also stated that those odds could be increased with fertility drugs. But they were so strapped for cash, there was no way they'd be able to afford the cost of fertility treatments. She'd felt as though she'd been gutted, her vital organs being replaced with despair and shame. As the doctor was explaining the technical side of things to _Dr. Cullen_, since _hopeful father-to-be_ Edward had checked out as soon as he'd heard that the news was bad, Bella just sat there with her eyes cast down.

During the weeks after her diagnosis, Edward tried to comfort her, but he'd kept his doctor mask on. He was detached and clinical in the way he tried to discuss it with her. He kept throwing around percentages and success rates, but it felt more like a regurgitation of facts than a commonly held hope. She had felt so completely isolated and so totally alone that she'd shut down. She could acknowledge that now.

Edward was right when he'd pointed out how, at every attempt of his to show some affection, she'd turned him down. She'd driven him away with her refusals. The real problem, though, was that she was so angry with her body, so terribly sad that she would, in all likelihood, be denied what she viewed was a basic right of womanhood. With these all-encompassing negative emotions churning inside of her, she had nothing left to give to Edward, and felt unworthy to receive what he was offering.

As she continued to push him away, he threw himself more and more into his work. She'd never told Edward, but she'd even gone to the one of the local churches, praying that God would fix her, make her normal. She did that on a few of the Sunday's when Edward was on shift. She'd given up on that after a couple of months with no success.

And during all this time, she was quietly working her way up the ladder at Banner and Cope. She'd kept to herself, done her job, and done it well. As a result, she was rewarded with a couple of small promotions. Nothing like being promoted to team lead, but she advanced. Though with each rung she climbed, the ladder felt shakier and shakier. She wasn't cut out for the type of work she was doing. It wasn't in her nature to manage other people.

And now here she was. Struggling to discover not so much _who_ _she was_, but more so _who she could become_. She'd accepted that she wouldn't ever be a mother, at least not by conventional means. It still broke her heart to think about that, but she was no longer completely destroyed by the thought. The antidepressants were helping with that. She felt more even-tempered about a lot of things. And she knew she needed to apologize to Edward for so much. She closed her journal and sat down at the small writing desk, opening up her email.

_Dear Edward,_

_I want to say I'm sorry..._

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**A/N: Thanks again for reading. If you feel so inclined, let me know what you think of Bella's growing self-awareness.**

**Translations**

**Bonjour : **Hello

**vélo**_ : _bike

**ville** : town/city

**Bienvenue à l'institut de la Gastronomie d'Agde**_ : _Welcome to the Cooking Institute of Agde

**la patisserie** : pastry

**tabac**_ :_ convenience store

**Belle-Américaine** : Beautiful American

**ma chérie**: my dear

**Edouard** : French spelling of Edward

**fantastique**: fantastic

**Au revoir**: See you later/Goodbye

**boulangerie **: bakery

**boeuf bourguinon** : beef bourguinon, like a thick beef stew

**Encore, Papa. Encore!**: Again, Daddy. Again!

**Plus maintenant, princesse. C'est l'heure du bain. Allez vite ou je vais te ratrapper!** : Not again, princess. It's bath time. Hurry or I'm gonna catch you!

**la mer**: the sea

**Bonne nuit** _: _Good night


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Song inspirations for this chapter are "Now You're Gone" by Basshunter and "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum. Links are on my profile. Thanks so much to BellaMadonna and LJSummers for putting the shine on this chapter! Are you reading **_**Bella, the Lioness**_** by BellaMadonna or **_**We Know You**_** by LJSummers? If not, you should be.**

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Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 8**

After he ended his call with Bella, Edward was so irritated he was sorely tempted to hurl his phone against the wall. The only thing that stopped him was the image of little dollar signs rolling up behind his pinched-shut eyelids.

The obnoxious Frenchman's voice taunted him, almost as much as the thought of James Livingston did. Some stupid, French jerk was calling his wife _chérie. _He wasn't an idiot. He knew that was some kind of lovey-dovey word. And then to hear Bella tell him it was nobody? That just about drove him insane with jealousy. But what could he do? As soon as he'd heard the jerkface, he could sense that Bella's attention was no longer on what he'd been trying to tell her.

Not that it seemed to matter. She was slipping away from him faster than he'd thought possible. His heart was suddenly pounding and he felt sick to his stomach at the thought of some other man paying close attention to his wife. _His wife!_ He needed to get out. There was too much negative energy swirling around inside of him. He turned to the only outlet he had any more.

Mindlessly, he threw on his running gear and hit the pavement. Hard. He ran without direction or thought. The scenery was all a steamy blur, the sounds of nature drowned out by the pounding base of the music flowing from his iPod.

He'd been lucky when the loud screeching of brakes and the whining honk of a small sedan blared through the lull between songs. He was able to stop short just as the car came to a grinding halt, slamming his hands on the hood. "Look out, man!" he yelled as the driver continued on, shooting a one-fingered salute from the window.

After that, he turned down the volume slightly and took a look at where he was. Breathing heavily, he realized he had run for miles, all the way through Hanover to the bridge that led into Vermont. Wearily, he turned and started jogging back to his apartment.

As he came inside, he stripped off his sweat-soaked shirt and shorts and tossed them angrily onto the floor. He was still tense and angry about the phone call from Bella even after having a hot shower.

Digging through the fridge, Edward pulled a container from the quickly dwindling supply of pre-made meals. Not finding a clean fork, he opted for a large soup spoon, and stalked through the apartment like a caged tiger. He sat down and began flipping through the basic cable TV stations, finally settling on some mind-numbing infomercial for a food chopper.

When his phone rang, he almost didn't answer it. He glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was Yorkie. Groaning at the idea of talking to anyone, he reluctantly accepted the call. He needed to keep Yorkie on his good side if he was going to be able to get him to cover his shifts while he was at the qualifying race.

"Hello?" he answered with a moderately interested tone.

"Hey man, we're going out tonight and you're coming." Eric was _the_ consummate party animal. Edward wasn't really sure how Yorkie had managed to get his undergrad degree, let alone get through med school. It seemed like he hardly had to work at all and still managed to sail through in the top ten percent of his class.

Edward considered his options; partying held little attraction for him, but he really didn't want to rot at home. He could just see himself waking up on the couch with dried up drool on his chin, the home shopping channel selling adjustable waist pants humming in the background.

If he went out with the guys from work, he'd be able to ignore the yawning hole Bella's absence had left in their home, at least for a little while.

"Dude, I can hear you over-thinking this," Eric said with a chuckle.

"I'm not over-thinking anything. Where are you going?"

"_We_ are going to Electra."

"Come on, Yorkie. That place is full of little boys pretending to be men, and desperate co-ed's," Edward complained.

"Exactly! Those chicks never turn me down for anything." Edward could practically hear the smug grin splitting Yorkie's face.

With his options limited, he reluctantly agreed. "I'll go, but I'm taking my own car. I'm not getting stuck there with you punks. What time?"

"Nine o'clock, man. See you there!"

Edward checked his watch and decided a nap was in order. He had no idea what time he'd be getting back in and he had to be on shift at six in the morning.

He groaned when his alarm started beeping, giving him thirty minutes to get dressed and meet up with the guys. He threw the sheet off and got up, leaving the bedclothes in a rumpled mess. Stepping over the various piles of junk that had quickly started to accumulate on the floor, he pulled a pair of comfortable jeans and a fitted white t-shirt out of the drawers. Oddly, it was the mess that reminded him of Bella the most. She'd always made his piles disappear, and he realized now, he was never properly grateful to her for that. He grabbed a belt and pulled on his favorite pair of broken-in Doc Martens. He'd inherited those boots from Emmett during his Junior year of high school. They were a size too big and already fairly broken in, but they were cool, so the size didn't really matter to him. Bella despised them, but he wouldn't get rid of them. In a weird way they marked the time that he'd been together with Bella. Junior year was when they started dating.

The parking lot of the club was fairly full, but Edward managed to find a couple of spaces toward the back of the lot. He had no qualms about parking diagonal across two spaces - anything to keep his baby safe.

He had his hospital pager on, but decided to turn his phone off. He wasn't in the mood to be talking to anyone who might be calling him; especially his family.

The music was heavy and loud, causing every cell in his body to vibrate. He surveyed the room, letting his eyes adjust to the strobe lighting of the club. Winding his way around a few groups of people lingering in front of the entry door, he finally made it to where Eric Yorkie and Tyler Crowley were already standing with drinks in hand.

"Ed! Bro, you made it!" Eric called out smiling widely, clapping Edward on the shoulder as he sat down.

Edward gave both Eric and Tyler the universal guy chin lift in greeting and raised his hand to the bartender. "Coke, please?"

The bartender responded with a quick, "Sure thing," and walked away to fill his order.

"Dude, you need more than a Coke. You need like, at least a Jack n' Coke. We're here to par-tay!" shouted Eric over the loud techno music.

"I'm not getting drunk, man. I have to be firing on all cylinders tomorrow at six a.m." No way would he be showing up to work hung over, with shaking hands and a throbbing headache, no matter how crappy his day had been. He paid for his drink and began sipping at it.

"I'm surprised the wifey let you out of the house, Cullen," Tyler crowed. Edward shot him a withering look and shook his head. Crowley was already on his crap list for all the shifts he'd had to cover for him.

"She's out of town," Edward responded dryly, avoiding as much interaction as possible between himself and Tyler. He didn't want to accidentally-on-purpose punch the guy in the neck. He turned back to his soda and took another sip, wondering exactly what he was doing at a club filled with drunk people gyrating and grinding on each other. Oh, that's right. He was trying to drown his jealousy and loneliness in a Coke.

"Oh. Oh. Dude, dude." Eric began slapping at Edward's arm. "Check out the babes coming in hot."

Edward glanced over his shoulder and noticed three women walking towards their spot at the bar. He turned back to his Coke and downed the rest of the glass.

"Baby, come to papa," shouted Tyler, enthusiastically as the girls sashayed up to his side.

"Hi, boys," the three women chimed simultaneously.

Not wanting to be completely rude, Edward turned to acknowledge the greeting. As he glanced over the women, he felt like he'd hit his head and was seeing double, or triple rather. All three women were wearing obscenely short black dresses and ridiculously high heels. They all had long, shiny, straight hair; one was platinum blonde, the second strawberry blonde, and the third was a sandy blonde. Triplets. Same smile, same ice-blue eyes, same curvy figure. It was like they'd stepped out of a chewing gum commercial.

"Ladies! Can we buy you a drink?" Yorkie was in full acquisition mode, which amused Edward. He watched the platinum blonde melt as Eric ran his finger lightly down the woman's shoulder and arm, which didn't surprise Edward all that much. Eric was a decent looking guy, always checking himself out in whatever shiny surface he came across. And he was a surprisingly smooth operator when it came to women.

"So what do we call you beautiful ladies? Babe one, Babe two, and Babe three?" Tyler, on the other hand was not nearly as smooth as Eric. He thought he was being funny, and perhaps the girls were already drunk enough to agree, since they all tittered and giggled at his asinine comment.

"I'm Irina," responded the platinum, who was now hanging off of Yorkie.

"I'm Kate," said the sandy blonde, now sitting in Tyler's lap.

"I'm Tanya," the Strawberry Tart breathed into Edward's ear, causing a ripple of goosebumps to breakout over his arms.

Eric and Tyler quickly became engrossed in conversation with their prospective Barbies, leaving Edward to fend for himself with Tanya.

"So what's your name, handsome?" It was difficult to focus on Tanya's face, when she had her arms crossed in such a way that her breasts were pushed up to her chin.

_Eyes up. Eyes up. Eyes up,_ Edward chanted internally as he clinked the ice in his glass. "Uh, it's Edward," he responded with a forced smile. It was strangely exhilarating to get hit on by an obviously beautiful and self-confident woman.

"Buy me a drink?" she cooed.

Taken off guard by her forwardness, he stuttered out, "Uh... umm, yeah. Sure, okay. What are you drinking?"

Her blood-red lips curved up into a sensual smile as she leaned further into Edward's personal space. She was definitely _leaning. _Her chest brushed against Edward's arm as she murmured into his ear, "Sex on the Beach."

His earlier amusement returned as he chuckled. "Right. Sex on the Beach for the lady, Barkeep?" he called out. Could she have chosen a more ridiculous drink?

"So what do you do, Edward?" she purred. The bartender set down a large glass covered in lime wedges, a cherry, and even a stupid umbrella. Edward rolled his eyes as he passed the drink to the Strawberry Tart.

"I'm a doctor at DHMC."

"Ooooh, a doctor. How sexy!" She sucked on her straw deeply then made a show of licking her lips.

"How about you?" he asked, not even remotely interested in her response.

"I'm a student," she replied.

"Oh? Where do you study?" He would eat his shoe if she said Dartmouth. No way this girl was Ivy League.

"CCV. I'm getting my associates in Hospitality and Tourism," she gushed, taking another deep slurp of her cocktail.

Just as he thought; community college seemed more this girl's speed. The smirk had just started to play on his lips when she continued.

"I looooove to travel. Do you like to travel? I'm gonna go to Paris next spring. That's in France. Parlez-vous French?" She giggled, the straw from her drink still stuck between her lips.

As soon as she mentioned France, Edward's mood darkened. He'd almost been able to forget about the whole stupid country and the fact that his wife was there, with some guy, who was not him, calling her _chérie._

Eric and Tyler got up, leading their girls onto the packed dance must have caught the movement out of the corner of her eye, because she immediately perked up and began bouncing.

_Eyes up, Cullen. Eyes up!_

"Oooohh let's dance, Eddie!" Without warning, she was dragging Edward onto the dance floor, diving in between bodies, to the center of the crowd. She backed up to the platinum sister and began grinding up and down on her, all the while holding Edward's hand, trying to raise it up and around her neck.

It was then that Edward began paying attention to the lyrics of the song.

_Now you're gone  
I realized my love for you was strong  
And I miss you here now you're gone  
I keep waiting here by the phone  
With your pictures hanging on the wall _

Tanya reached up and pulled at his shoulder, trying to get him to engage in the dance, but he was stiff and lost in the words of the song.

What was he doing? All he wanted was to get out of the house, not to bump n' grind on the first available female. He missed his wife, and no plastic Barbie doll was going to ease the ache in his heart.

"I can't do this," he muttered.

"Huh?" shouted Tanya.

"I can't do this," he motioned between them. "I'm married," he held up his ring finger, "I'm not doing this." Edward held up his hands, warding off Tanya's clawing talons, backing away from the group.

Eric, who was sandwiched between Platinum and Sandy, look up at Edward and eased himself away from the girls. "Hey man, where are you going? Things are just getting good. These chicks are totally into us!"

"I'm out. I'll see you at the hospital."

"C'mon Edward, she won't even know."

"I would know, and I'm just not that guy, Eric. Later." Edward turned without so much as a glance at the disappointed Strawberry Tart that stood pouting on the dance floor.

Eric put his arm around Tanya and said, "Don't worry about him, baby. Come dance with us."

**~CBTM~**

It was close to one in the morning when Edward dragged himself into the apartment. He flopped on the bed, face down, and tried to get a grip on his thoughts. He was still upset by the phone call he'd had from Bella, but at the same time, he was missing her like he would miss his right hand if it were gone.

He took a quick shower to wash the club grime off of his body. He wanted absolutely no trace of Tanya on his person. Once he was dressed for bed, he opened his laptop and checked his email. He scanned through the spam, zeroing in on the one e-mail in his in-box that mattered.

He clicked on the message and began to read.

_Dear Edward,_

_I want to say I'm sorry for what happened on the phone today. The voice you heard was an acquaintance of mine. His name is Jacob. I actually met him at the airport the evening I arrived. I was so lost, and didn't know how to find the train station and he happened to be going in the same direction, so he helped me out. _

_We talked on the train and I figured that would be the last time I ever saw him because he got off in a different city than me. I was completely surprised when I saw him this afternoon. _

_I know you were trying to tell me something today, and I want to know what you were going to say. I'm sorry I got distracted, but Jacob showing up like that really threw me off. _

_I hope that you can understand where I'm coming from, and know that I'm sorry our conversation got derailed. I really want to work on us._

_I'm just scared. I'm scared that I've let my own issues fester for so long that you won't like who I am anymore. I'm scared that you'll get tired of my baggage and..._

_I guess, just know that I love you, and I'm sorry._

_Isabella._

He re-read the message half a dozen times before closing his laptop and stretching out on the bed, his arms tucked behind his head, thinking about Bella's words. She certainly didn't waste time making friends. And now the jerkface had a name. _Jacob._ His lip curled in disgust just thinking about the dog.

The other thing that struck him was her open admission to being afraid that he wouldn't like who she was. He really had no answer to that because he realized suddenly that he really didn't know who she was anymore. They'd both changed, and not necessarily for the better. He drifted off to sleep, thinking about exactly who he was now. He needed to figure that out before he and Bella could work on anything else.

**...**

Edward crashed hard when he got home from his shift at the hospital. He'd had a grand total of four hours of sleep for the entire shift, and none of them were consecutive. He navigated through the apartment blindly, not having bothered to turn on the lights since he wasn't opening his eyes. He'd kept them open long enough to get home safely, but now he was checking out. He fell into the bed and quickly sunk into a deep sleep.

It had been a couple of days since he'd gotten Bella's email. She hadn't tried to call, and he hadn't called her. He'd been thinking a lot during the course of his last shift about who he'd become, and he really wasn't enjoying that exercise.

In his quest to get ahead at work, and show his father by his accomplishments that he could do as many great and wonderful things as his brother and sister, he'd become a shamefully selfish idiot. Instead of his focus being on his wife and family, he'd allowed his priorities to skew so far to the work end of the spectrum that he'd been oblivious to the depth of his wife's difficulty in dealing with their inability to conceive a child.

Well, it'd been difficult for him, too! He was heartbroken at the thought of not being able to enjoy seeing Bella, her body blossoming as their baby grew inside of her. He was frustrated at their financial situation that prevented them from being able to afford fertility treatments. He was hurting, too. Unfortunately he channeled all of those feelings into literally running and hiding.

He'd started training for a marathon months and months ago, using that as an excuse to get him out of the apartment. Again, his guilt over the hurtful evasiveness seeped through his soul. He glanced over at the bookshelf and noticed their wedding album. He slid it off the shelf and flipped the cover open.

Slowly, he turned page after page, marveling at how beautiful a bride Bella was. They both radiated happiness in every picture. His favorite was the one of them walking hand in hand around the grounds of the church. It was taken from behind them, with the setting sun illuminating the world around them in marmalade and honeyed hues.

Feeling the aching in his chest to try and make things right with Bella, he checked his watch. It was quarter after one, so that would make it quarter after seven in France. So it shouldn't be too early to give her a call.

He hit the speed dial and waited for the call to connect. After several rings, he got her voicemail. He wanted to talk to her, not just leave a message, so he decided to try one more time. He hung up and dialed again. After three rings, he was resigned to leave a message but then the phone clicked on.

"_Oui, Allo_?"

"Who the he...Who is this?" Edward ground out.

"This is Jacob, who is this?"

Edward cringed as the jerkface said his name all French-like. _Zha-cob. _ In five seconds, flat Edward was going ballistic. What was that creep doing answering his wife's phone? He was seething with a fury that he couldn't contain. He wasn't sure how long he sat there wishing death and destruction upon _Zha-cob, _ but it was long enough to prompt another query from his nemesis.

"_Allo_? Who is there?"

"I'd like to speak to Bella. MY WIFE!" He shouted the last bit, hoping to expel some of the ire that was building up.

"Oh. Ah, she's sleeping. I'll see if she will wake up."

When Edward heard the low, sleepy groan of his wife, he felt like his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. The tension in his body was running so high, he thought he might snap in two. He couldn't talk to her right now. Not like this. He would most likely say something regrettable and hurtful. And he'd done enough of that.

Without waiting for any other response, he hung up the phone. The only word going through his mind now was _RUN. RUN. RUN._

Just as he was tying up his laces, his phone began ringing. He ignored it and continued to attach the armband that contained his iPod. The phone rang a few more times before he slammed the front door of the apartment, leaving everything behind him.

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**A/N: Again, thank you to all who are reading, reviewing, and recommending! I really do appreciate it and I love hearing from all of you. I do expect to get an earful this time. But I will accept it, gladly :) Chapter 9 won't be quite as long in coming, I promise you that!**

**Translations**

_chérie _: Sweetheart

DHMC : Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center

CCV : Community College of Vermont, and yes, they do have a Hospitality and Tourism degree.

_Allo: _Hello


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello all! Thank you sooooo much for all of the reviews and comments. I had to smile at most of them because, well, you'll see. Most of you were freaking out, so ****I'm putting you out of your misery.** Now we find out what the heck is going on with Bella. More down at the bottom.

**The usual thanks go out to BellaMadonna and LJSummers for their help with cleaning up this chapter. Some stuff was added after I got it back from them, so if there's a part in the middle with crappy grammar, that's my fault, not theirs. :) **

**Check out the poll on my profile regarding reactions to last chapter.**

**Translations are at the bottom if you're interested. **

_**PSA:**_ **DON'T SHARE MEDICATIONS PRESCRIPTION OR OTHERWISE WITH FRIENDS OR PEOPLE FOR WHOM THEY ARE NOT PRESCRIBED.**

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**Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 9**

It had been several days since Bella had sent her apology to Edward. She knew he was probably busy with work, so she figured that it would be a while before he had a chance to respond properly. She really would rather have a well-thought-out response as opposed to a knee-jerk reaction. But she was resolved to call him soon. She also needed to talk to Alice. She'd been putting off that phone call simply because she had no idea what to say. Alice could read her like a book, even over the phone. She would know that something fishy was going on. Maybe she could just email Alice. That would be easiest.

Bella really did feel badly about how distracted she'd been when Jacob showed up in the park. She just hoped that Edward had had enough time to cool down. They needed to start having some honest and serious conversations. She also wondered how his first week-and-a-half at running the checkbook had gone. At least they weren't overdrawn – yet. She'd checked the account balance just before heading out to have breakfast at a café.

The journal she had brought with her was quickly filling up with all kinds of things. Some of the pages were like "Dear Diary" entries, others were full of stream-of-consciousness thoughts that just flowed from her mind to her pen, dribbling onto the paper in her messy, scrawling hand. As she nibbled her _omelette-au-fromage_ and sipped on her _verveine_ tea, she kept her right hand poised above the journal, waiting for inspiration to strike.

A secret smile played on her lips as she thought about how very comfortable she felt sitting on the small terrace of the café watching the world wake up. She scribbled a few thoughts into the journal and then finished her breakfast.

When she arrived at the cooking school, the rack to which she usually locked the _vélo _was full. She had to go down to the next block to find a place where she felt comfortable leaving Angela's bicycle. As she strolled back down the sidewalk, she kept her eyes trained steadily on the few feet of pavement in front of her, lest she should step in any landmines.

"Bella! _Bonjour_!" Bella's eyes snapped up from her paranoid perusal of the sidewalk at the friendly greeting. Carmen's French was so heavily accented with an American twang, one might think that she was mocking the language. She tried really hard, but there was no help for it.

"_Bonjour, _Carmen, Lee_. Comment-allez vous_?" Bella responded with a genuine smile. Over the last week, Bella and Carmen had shared all sorts of stories back and forth with each other. They'd discussed jobs, likes and dislikes, books and places they'd visited. Carmen was always ready to gush about her daughter, Charlotte, who was due to give birth to their first grandchild in a couple of months. Carmen was easy to talk to and very pleasant company and by extension, Lee was just as easy a person to be around as well.

"Oh, we're doing just fine, my dear. How are you? Excited for today's lesson?" Carmen enthused.

"Always! Chef Louvet is amazing. I can't wait to make _millefeuilles_. I hope we'll learn how to make _pâte-a-choux, _soon_. _I've decided that the _religieuse _is my favorite pastry – ever." Every day, Bella would stop by Mme. Toussaint's bakery and pick out a different treat. The little chocolate covered cream-puff stack that looked like a nun wearing a habit – la _religieuse_ – had become her default choice. When she couldn't decide on something new to try, she'd get that.

"Oh my stars! Those are delicious, but I think I prefer all the little _tartelettes au fruit," _ Carmen said.

"How about you, Lee? What is your favorite?" He stood behind his wife, a small furrow in his brow. His salt and pepper hair was neatly cropped and combed, giving him a distinguished air. He'd retired from a big oil company in Alaska, and that business-man attitude just seemed to stick with him until he smiled. When he smiled, a dimple would appear, adding a playfully roguish quality to his handsome features.

"Why do I have to pick just one?" He winked and took up his seat at the table across the aisle from Bella and Carmen's.

"Oh, he is positively odious," Carmen grumped. "He's one of those disgusting people who can eat as much as he wants of anything and not gain a single pound."

"Such a burden to bear," Bella replied in a commiserating sigh. The two women were still discussing Lee's pastry-eating habits when Chef Louvet entered the classroom and began her instruction.

While they got to work making the dough for the _millefeuilles_ – a simple but lengthy process of spreading butter over the dough, folding it up and rolling it flat, then repeating – Carmen decided to pick up one of their previous conversations.

"So we've talked about my family, now what about yours? I notice a ring. What's your husband's name?" Carmen smiled in Bella's direction. For Carmen, talking about her spouse didn't involve any pain or heartache. For Bella, just thinking about her husband brought a cloud of uncertainty and sadness to her countenance.

"Ah, his name is Edward." Bella limited her responses to the shortest possible. Not wanting to have some kind of breakdown or episode in the middle of their class.

"Edward," Carmen mused, her eyes focused on her work station, "such a dignified name. How long have you two been married?" She threw a soft smile in Bella's direction before turning her gaze back to the dough in front of her.

"Five years this August."

"Aw, you two are still newlyweds! At least when you look at me and Lee. We're coming up on thirty-five in November."

Bella rolled her feelings into the dough, letting the sadness and frustration she felt from the lack of communication from Edward to be folded into the layers that would become her dish for the day. Carmen seemed to sense that Bella wasn't in a talking mood and let the subject drop.

During the lunch break, Carmen sat with Bella and opened up a panini sandwich, taking one half and placing it on a napkin in front of Bella. "I know I talk too much, but just so you know, I'm a good listener too." She offered a very maternal smile, and took Bella's hand in hers, squeezing gently.

Bella sighed and picked at the bread on the sandwich. "It's complicated." She looked up at the older woman and saw nothing but compassion.

"When is it not complicated, honey? That's life. That's marriage. It only gets ugly when you stop talking to each other."

Bella closed her eyes and swallowed a fat lump of despair, feeling it settle in the pit of her stomach. "We stopped talking," she responded in a whisper. "Everything was so perfect. Until suddenly one day, it wasn't and then we both kind of just shut down. Now, all we ever do is nitpick and fight over the most ridiculous things."

Carmen nodded in understanding and asked, "Do you still love him?"

"Yes. Deep down, I do. I think I've just forgotten how to show him."

"So what was it that made everything not perfect anymore?"

Bella stared off across the street and past the harbor. The lighthouse rose tall above the terracotta roof tiles of the beachfront homes. Her eyes focused on the horizon for what seemed like hours before she turned to Carmen. "About a year ago we found out that we probably wouldn't be able to have kids. After that it just all seemed to fall apart." Bella felt a tear trickle down her cheek.

"Oh, honey. I'm sorry to hear that." Carmen gave Bella's hand another squeeze, but let the silence stretch out between them. After several long minutes Carmen asked, "So what are you doing here? By yourself?"

Bella wiped the tear from her chin, and smiled sadly at Carmen. "That's what I'm trying to figure out."

**…**

At the end of the day, they wrapped up the language class by enjoying the _millefeuilles_ they made. Everyone tasted samples and voted on the best one. Lee and his partner Marcus took the prize for best overall.

Carmen wrapped Bella in a tight hug and whispered in her ear, "Talk to him. You're both hurting. Just talk. Talk until there's nothing left to talk about."

"I will. Thank you, Carmen, for listening," Bella said, returning the hug with intensity.

"Anytime, dear. Anytime. Now go, call that man of yours. Let him know that there's hope for you two yet."

Carmen and Lee waved another goodbye as they walked down the street toward their apartment. Bella turned the opposite direction and retrieved Angela's bicycle. She pulled out onto the street heading back toward the school. She was thinking about all the things that she wanted to say to Edward, all the things they needed to start talking about. She needed to start trusting him with her heart again.

Just as she was passing the school she looked up and several things happened at once. Jacob was standing on the steps of the school waving and smiling widely calling out,"_Belle-Américaine_," just as the passenger of a car parked illegally on the street opened their door. Bella was so distracted by Jacob's greeting she failed to see the opened car door. The only indication she had that something was wrong was the shift in Jacob's expression from friendly to horror-struck. A second later she felt a jolt and the only two words that ran through her head were, "Oh. Crap."

She landed hard on the pavement, her hip and left butt cheek striking first followed by the dull thwack of her unprotected head. She didn't totally black out, at least she didn't think she did. But everything was fuzzy and dull-sounding.

"Bella! Bella! _Oh non!_" Jacob was shouting, but it was muffled and confusing. He started talking really fast. He sounded furious. She tried to sit up but a smaller hand kept her laying down. She turned slightly to see Chef Louvet hovering over her.

"Chef? What? I...wha..." Bella's voice trailed off, the throbbing in her head compounding the confusion she was experiencing.

"Don't worry, Bella. The Police and medics will be here in a moment. Just try to relax." Chef Louvet brushed some hair away from Bella's mouth and tucked it behind her ear, causing Bella to wince slightly.

Jacob's shouting was now mingled with other loud voices all seeming to be throwing around not very nice words. She heard Chef Louvet muttering, "_stupide_," and "_imbécile_," along with a few other unfamiliar phrases.

Once the police arrived, they began taking statements from Bella, Jacob and Chef Louvet, as well as the driver and passenger of the car. The medics looked Bella over thoroughly and were about to insist that she go to the hospital. When Chef Louvet told this to Bella, she flat out refused. She had endured concussions before and was not about to incur medical charges overseas. Not to mention that it would really ruin her weekend plans to go exploring if she was laid up in a hospital.

After the third sharply delivered refusal of treatment, Bella signed the waivers and the Medics washed their hands of the situation.

As Chef Louvet and Bella were walking to where Jacob was looking over the bicycle, the newly ticketed driver spat at Bella's feet and said in a thick French accent, "Stupid, ugly American. Go back to your country." Chef Louvet gasped and Jacob was ready to start throwing punches. Before he had a chance to do any kind of bodily harm, one of the police officers quickly escorted the offensive man away.

Bella looked at the bike and wanted to cry. The front wheel was bent, making it impossible to ride. Not that Bella was in any shape to ride anywhere; her bottom felt like it was about to fall off, it hurt so bad. The question now, was how was she going to get home?

"_Qu'allons-nous faire?_" Chef Louvet said to Jacob.

"_Je ne sais pas. La voiture est garée à l'appartement,_" he answered, running his hands through his hair.

Only catching some of the words in their quick exchange, Bella started tugging on Jacob's shirt sleeve. "Jacob, what's going on? How do you two know each other?"

Jacob chuckled and put his arm around Chef Louvet's shoulders. "Ness is my _petite amie." _He kissed her cheek like it was the most normal thing in the world. Bella was still wrapped up in concussion fog and could only tip her head and scrunch her brow together trying to understand.

"She's your little friend?" Bella asked, translating the phrase literally.

Jacob laughed out loud at Bella's question. Even Chef Louvet began to chuckle. "Bella," she said, "_petite amie_ is the phrase for girlfriend."

A little "o" of comprehension formed on Bella's lips. _Jacob has a girlfriend. He's totally safe. _ He really was just being a nice guy at the airport and not some creepy Frenchman, trying to pick up on her. As she let that little piece of information sink in, she began nodding. She smiled and said, "Well, that's good to know." She glanced around and was brought back to the reality of her predicament. She still had a sore bum and no wheels. "So how am I supposed to get home?"

"That's what we were just talking about, _chérie,_" Jacob said. "Is your host family going to be home tonight? Someone should be close by, in case you have a problem from hitting your head so hard."

"Yeah, they're always ho...Oh wait. They said something about visiting Angela's sister in Albi. No. They'll be gone until Sunday. But that's not a problem. I'll be fine. I've hit my head before."

"Bella, I would feel horrible if something were to happen to you tonight. Please come stay at my apartment tonight," Chef Louvet offered, placing a friendly hand on Bella's shoulder.

"Oh, Chef Louvet, I couldn't possibly impose. It's too much."

"Please, call me Ness. I'm only Chef Louvet when we're in class, and it's really no problem. You shouldn't be alone tonight."

Bella was very reluctant to accept the help, but when a wave of nausea swept over her and her head continued to throb, she decided to be gracious.

"If you're sure," she said hesitantly.

"I'm sure. It's no problem at all." Ness smiled widely and gave Bella's hand a squeeze.

"But what about the _vélo_?"

Jacob looked between the bike and the police, an idea forming in his mind. "Stay here for a minute, I think I know a way we can get back to Ness's apartment."

Bella watched as he walked over to the police officers who were comparing notes about the accident. He began talking and gesturing towards Bella and the damaged bicycle, then he started throwing around that brilliantly white grin, and those enormous puppy dog eyes. She wasn't positive, but Bella was pretty sure Jacob started twitching his pectoral muscles too. The police woman seemed to melt into a puddle of goo while Ness just giggled.

"_Oh, qu'il est méchant_; that poor woman never stood a chance," Ness whispered to Bella.

After another minute of chatting with the police, Jacob walked back to where Bella and Ness were standing. He easily picked up the bike and took it over to the police van and loaded it into the back. Bella's eyes grew wide when she started to realize what he was doing.

"We aren't going to ride in there are we?" She looked worriedly between Jacob and the police van. The only police vehicle she'd ever ridden in was her Father's cruiser, and that was in the front seat.

"Would you rather walk to Ness's apartment? It's quite a long way," Jacob said lifting his shoulders like it didn't bother him one way or the other.

Bella took a few tentative steps toward the official vehicle and her hip began aching. "No. Ugh. Let's just get this over with."

Jacob helped Bella into the back of the van and then gave Ness's address to the policeman driving the van.

Looking out the small window on the side of the van, Bella kept muttering to herself, "I can't believe I'm riding in the back of a police van in France," which only elicited snickering from Jacob and Ness.

The ride seemed to take much longer than the actual ten minutes, but finally they were stopped in front of a more modern three story building. Modern meaning it was built in the last fifty years as opposed to the building Angela and Ben lived in, which was built in 1934. Of course there was no elevator, so it took some time to walk up to the second floor apartment. Ness got Bella settled on the big, squishy sofa that dominated the small _salon, _and then disappeared into what Bella assumed was the kitchen.

When Ness returned she had a bag of frozen peas. Bella looked confused at the offered frozen produce.

"It's for your butt. You're going to have a nasty bruise, this will help just a little with the pain and swelling. I'm going to check if I have any pain pills, okay?"

"Oh. Um, okay. Thanks for the... peas." Bella accepted the makeshift icepack and laid it on her rear end. As she was lying on the couch, twisted in an awkward and unflattering position with the frozen peas on her up-turned bottom, Jacob clattered into the small entryway and leaned the bicycle up against the wall.

"It will need a new wheel, but we can get that tomorrow and I can have it fixed for you, no problem," he said as he flopped into an overstuffed lounge chair next to the couch. He glanced over at Bella and grinned at her unladylike arrangement on the couch.

It looked like he was about to make a joke, but seeing the twinkle in his eye, Bella cut him off. "Not a word, _Monsieur._" Jacob held up his hands and shook his head, not even trying to hide the amusement he garnered from her unfortunate circumstances.

Ness came back into the salon with a pill and a glass of water. "Here you go. It's _Prontalgine. _Works really good for headaches." She winked as she handed the little pill to Bella.

"Thank you, Ness." Bella shifted up a bit and swallowed the pill. "So what exactly happened? One minute I'm riding along and I see you guys, the next minute I'm flying through the air and crashing on the ground."

"Oh, _ma Belle-Américaine_. The guy opened his car door right in front of your _vélo_. You went over the front of it and landed first on your hip and _derrière_, then your head hit the road. We came running over and the idiot who was driving started screaming about how it was all your fault."

"_Menteur_," Ness mumbled.

"_Le crétin_, he didn't notice us, but we know he saw you. The passenger looked back towards you then said something that made the driver laugh. He waited until it was too close for you to stop and he opened the door."

Bella gasped at the realization that she'd been deliberately set up to crash.

Jacob's face clouded over with an ominous scowl as he finished recounting the events of the accident. "If it hadn't been for Ness, I would've punched the _bâtard_."

**…**

Ness whipped up some pasta _à la carbonara _ and some fresh green beans for supper. By the end of the meal, Bella was completely exhausted, the pill starting to work its magic. She changed into some comfortable clothes that Ness had loaned her and when she returned to the _salon_, the couch had been made up into a bed. Bella thanked Ness again and gratefully sank into the soft cushions, falling asleep quickly.

Every couple of hours, Jacob and Ness would take turns waking Bella, just to make sure she was only asleep and not unconscious. They didn't mind the effort since Jacob had adopted Bella as his best American friend. After spending a fitful night, Bella had finally settled into a deep sleep around seven the next morning as Jacob was getting up for the day. He was just about to nudge Bella's shoulder when her phone started ringing. He dug around in her bag, cursing when it stopped ringing. Why did women need so many things in their bags? he thought to himself. Moments later the ringing began again. Finally, on the third ring he found it and answered with a whispered, "_Oui, Allo_?" He mentally kicked himself. Whoever was calling most likely only spoke English, but the French greeting came automatically.

"Who the he...Who is this?" said the man's voice. He didn't sound very happy.

"This is Jacob. Who is this?" He waited for a response but nothing came. "_Allo? _Who is there?" he asked again.

After another long pause the angry man shouted, "I'd like to speak to Bella. MY WIFE!"

_Oh la la_, Jacob thought to himself. Bella was very soundly asleep. He wasn't sure if she would wake up very easily. "Oh. Ah, she's sleeping. I'll see if she will wake up."

He lowered the phone just slightly and began shaking Bella's shoulder and rubbing her back. She let out a muffled groan as she turned her head toward the disturbance.

"Bella, _chérie, _wake up. Edouard is on the phone for you," he said gently.

Bella's head was still throbbing lightly from the accident and the medicine had really thrown her for a loop. She knew that Jacob was trying to wake her up again, but she was just so tired. She hadn't really heard what he said so she managed a bleary, "Huh?"

"Edouard. He is calling for you. You need to wake up, _chérie._" She definitely heard Edward's name that time and forced her sleepy eyes open.

She fumbled for the phone in Jacob's outstretched hand, finally getting it to her ear. "Hello? Edward?" She waited for a moment, hoping that it was just taking him a little longer than usual to respond to her. Her hopes were dashed, though, when the face of the phone lit up and read "call ended."

"He hung up."

"Ah, _zut_."

"What did he say, Jacob?" Bella looked up, still trying to rub the sleep from her eyes.

"Well, he sounded kind of angry from the beginning. I don't think he likes me," he said as an aside.

"No, Jacob, I don't think he likes you. Probably because you keep calling me _chérie._"

"But that's what I call all of my girl friends," Jacob replied innocently. He said it with absolutely no guile and Bella truly believed that he harbored nothing more than friendliness for her, but Edward didn't know that.

"Jacob, I'm not your girlfriend, and Edward is a jealous creature by nature. Even more so since we're apart. And while we're at it, why the heck did you answer my phone? Don't they have voice mail in France?"

"I don't know! It just kept ringing and it was loud. You were finally sleeping well, and I didn't want it to wake you. _Eh, bien sur,_ we have voice mail." His voice got quieter the longer he talked, as if he was just starting to realize how ridiculous his explanation actually was.

"Did you even look at the caller ID?"

"No."

"Jeez, Jacob. How would you feel if some strange man answered Ness's phone at – what time is it anyway?" Bella glanced at the phone in her and and noted the time. "At seven in the morning? He's probably freaking out right now."

"I'm sorry _Belle-Am__é__ricaine,_ I wasn't think-" Bella shot a glare in Jacob's direction and _clicked_ her tongue at him, deciding, for once to be on the giving end of that little dismissive sound than the receiving end.

Bella ran a hand down her face and began dialing Edward's cell, putting her index finger in front of her lips demanding silence out of Jacob. He shrugged as if to ask, "What's the big deal." Bella pinned him with a narrow-eyed stare, the unspoken threat hanging thickly in the air. Jacob finally conceded, and backed out of the room.

The phone rang and rang, finally going to voice mail. "_Hi, this is Edward. Leave me a message_."

"Edward! Please call me as soon as you get this message. Edward, whatever you heard, it's not what you're thinking. Please, call me back."

She hung up and called again. Just before it went to voice mail, she hung up and re-dialed. With each unanswered call, her heart sunk lower and lower into her stomach. After five more tries, she thought of what she would say on the message she was obviously going to have to leave.

Bella decided to call the house phone instead. She waited until the generic robot voice finished the greeting, then launched into a brief explanation of the past twenty-four hours.

"Edward, it's me. Look, Jacob has a girlfriend. Her name is Ness and she just so happens to be the instructor for my pastry class. After class yesterday, I was riding my bike home and some jerk opened their car door right in front of me. I ended up flying over the handlebars and landing in the street. I banged up my hip and hit my head. Ness insisted that I come home to her apartment, that she apparently shares with Jacob, since my host family was away for the weekend. She and Jacob have been waking me up – as per concussion care guidelines – all night. I was finally getting some sleep when you cal..." The answering machine cut her off with a long, final beep.

"Dang it!" she shouted, punching the couch cushion, not even realizing she'd taken to worrying the fringe on the decorative pillow. She dialed again, waited through the greeting message and continued with her explanation. "I was really sound asleep _on the couch, by myself_, when you called. Jacob answered because he's a dork with no sense of personal boundaries, and woke me up, but you had already hung up.. Please believe me Edward. There is absolutely nothing going on between me and Jacob; it has never even crossed my mind. I wouldn't do that to you, Edward. You're my husband and I love you. Please call me back. Please." Her final plea was punctuated with a soft sob as she ended the call.

She rubbed both hands over her face and sunk back into the couch, hissing a bit as she pressed on her injured hip too much. Ness padded out of the kitchen with a glass of water and another pill.

"No more pills, please. Whatever you gave me last night knocked me out." Bella threw a wary look in Ness's direction.

"_Désolé, _Bella. This is a _Paracetamol_. It's just acetaminophen, so it shouldn't make you tired."

Bella thought about refusing again, but her head was still aching, not to mention her hip. She held out her hand and accepted the pill, swallowing it with a large swig of water.

Ness sat stiffly in the lounge chair and observed Bella for a moment. Her hair was a tangled mess and her eyes looked tired. They were ringed with shadows and tinged a bit red around the eyelids.

"I heard the last part of your phone call, Bella. I'm sorry if we've caused you any trouble. Jacob is just a big flirt by nature. He really doesn't mean anything improper."

Bella held up her hand and smiled sadly. "I know, and he's fine. We're fine," she indicated between herself and Ness. "It's just kind of complicated with Edward. We've been having a hard time, and I took this cooking course as a means to kind of find myself again. The problem is that I'm not really liking the things that I'm finding out, at least about myself. But I love the food we're learning how to make." She smiled weakly, not wanting to offend her instructor.

Ness remained quiet, not pressing for more information than Bella was willing to give. Bella closed her eyes and tried to think about something else, but the image of a furious Edward kept playing in her mind. He probably looked as red-faced and pissed off as when she told him about Dr. Livingston. Shaking that thought out of her head and immediately regretting the throbbing that action caused, she stood up slowly, to get dressed for the day.

When she came back from the bathroom, the bike was partially dismantled and Jacob was holding the wheel. "Do you want to come with me to the shop to get a new wheel?" He looked much more subdued, not at all the gregarious and exuberant young man he usually was.

"Um, I think I need to lie back down. I'm feeling a little bit dizzy, but I'll give you some money for the wheel." Jacob began to protest but Bella wouldn't hear anything about it. "I will not let you pay for the wheel Jacob," she said with finality, reaching into her bag for her wallet. "How much do you think it will be?"

"No more than fifty." Bella blew out a breath and reached into her wallet and took out a couple of bills and handed them to Jacob.

"Thanks for doing that, Jacob."

"_Il n'y pas de quoi_, Bella. I'm happy to do this for you."

* * *

**A/N: Now be honest, how many of you have a slightly different opinion of Bella and Jacob? I'd _SERIOUSLY LOVE_ to hear what all of you who ranted last chapter, think about this chapter. Thanks so much for reading. Next update is getting worked on but will probably be at least a week and a half. Maybe it'll end up being a Christmas Eve present. Cut me a little slack over the holidays, I got busy plans! 'Til next time!**

**Translations**

_omelette-du-fromage_ : cheese omelette

_verveine_ : verbena

_Comment-allez vous_? : How are you?

_Millefeuilles : _A layered pastry made with rectangular pieces of puff-pastry alternating with a custard or cream. Usually about 4 layers of pastry and 3 layers of cream and either caramelized sugar on top or a thin icing. Delicious but messy to eat.

_Pâte-a-choux : _The dough that tmake up the outside shells of cream-puff's.

_tartelettes au fruit _: mini fruit tarts

_Oh non :_ Oh no!

_Stupide_ : Stupid

_imbécile: _Imbecile

_Qu'allons-nous faire? _: What are we going to do?

_Je ne sais pas. La voiture est garée à l'appartement :_ I don't know. The car is parked at the apartment.

_Petite amie : _girlfriend

_Oh, qu'il et méchant :_ Oh, he is so bad!

_Monsieur : _Mister

_Prontalgine : _An Over-The-Counter medication in France used for headaches and migraines. It's got Acetaminophen, Codeine, and Caffeine. _**PSA:**_ **DON'T SHARE MEDICATIONS PRESCRIPTION OR OTHERWISE WITH FRIENDS OR PEOPLE FOR WHOM THEY ARE NOT PRESCRIBED.**

_Menteur : _Liar

_Le crétin :_ Cretin or idiot

_bâtard :_ bastard

Ah, _zut_ : ah, shoot.

_Eh, bien sur :_ Well, of course

_Désolé: _I'm sorry

_Il n'y pas de quoi :_ Don't worry about it or It's no problem at all.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello all! Here's the new chapter! You guys were all worried about Edward doing something stupid. Well, let's see how he reacts to "**_**Jacob-gate**_**". **

*****Just a note about Bella's accident—**_**they**_** always say write what you know. Well, that accident came straight out of my memories. **

**It was my friend who flew off her bike, and the person who opened the door didn't do it on purpose. I had turned a corner and was waiting for her to catch up, but she wasn't coming, so I went back around the corner thinking, "What will I do if my friend is lying dead in the street." **

**Well, sure enough, there she is lying in the middle of a cobblestone street with our other friend hovering and the entire patronage of the little tavern she landed in front of, coming out to check on the commotion. **

**She was checked out by the fire department, and I really and truly did convince the police to give us a ride back home to our apartment in the back of the police van. It was awesome. And she ended up using frozen broccoli on her butt, not peas. **** TRUE STORY!*****

**Many thanks to BellaMadonna and LJSummers for prereading and beta'ing. You ladies rock! (Though LJ has admitted to rolling as well.) **

**

* * *

Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 10**

Edward hadn't run very far before he realized that it was one-thirty in the morning. The roads were darkened, save for the sparsely placed street lamps. He jogged down a trail to a nearby park, making a beeline for the chin-up bar. He pulled himself up, doing double the number of reps he usually did. When his arms were too weak to fight the pull of gravity against his body weight, he dropped to the ground. After exhausting his biceps, he moved to the slanted parallel bars and did more reverse incline sit-ups than he could count. While he drove his body to the brink of its physical limits, his mind and heart were also fighting to stay away from the edge of that unseen precipice where he'd finally scream, "I give up!"

Totally spent, he slumped down on a bench and rested his head in his hands. An overwhelming urge to punch something – anything really – surged through him. He'd never really had anger management issues, except when it came to Bella. Jealousy, and a borderline unhealthy sense of possession, came over him when he thought about other men befriending his wife. As he pondered why he would feel so irrational the idea of all those latent caveman urges and the biological desire to be the only one siring children with his mate came to mind. Even more frustrating than acknowledging that yes, he was at heart a primitive creature was the fact that he wouldn't be siring any children since the odds were against Bella conceiving from his efforts.

Unconsciously, his body slipped down the bench until he was lying with his knees bent and one arm behind his head. He closed his eyes and let his body relax, trying to do a little self-psychoanalysis. The latch flipped opened on that bulging mental closet of emotional garbage and he waded into the mess. He dug though his memories to the psych classes he'd taken in school. Was this jealousy some kind of Freudian issue? Probably not. As he sifted through theories and schools of thought, he slowly came to the realization that what it really came down to was fear.

He was afraid that he'd never be good enough, never successful enough, never just...enough. But had Bella ever given him the sense that she felt that way? No. She hadn't. In fact, she'd only ever encouraged him in his endeavors. Never once did she ever say anything about his worth as a person, a husband or a provider. This fear was all him.

Edward was so deeply entrenched in his personal counseling session that he didn't notice the police car patrolling the area. Nor did he hear the crunch of the gravel as the officer approached his bench. He was jerked back to reality when the bright beam of the officer's flashlight shone in his face. He sat up and shielded his eyes from the light and cocked his head to the side.

"Can I see some identification, sir?" The policeman wore a bored expression as he lowered the flashlight only slightly and held out his hand.

Edward stood and patted where his pockets usually were. Of course, he didn't have his wallet and in his haste he'd forgotten to pull out his driver's license like he usually did. All he had was his apartment key on a thin lanyard around his neck.

"I...uh...I left my wallet at home. I was just out for a run. I should probably be heading back now." Edward was stammering and shifting from foot to foot, setting the cop on edge.

"A run? At four in the morning? What's your name, son?"

Edward was shocked at how much time had passed. He just stood there mutely while the officer came a bit closer and looked in his eyes.

"Name?" The policeman barked.

"Uh. It's Edward, sir. Edward Cullen. I'm a doctor over at DHMC."

"You haven't been drinking, have you?" The officer demanded, trying to intimidate Edward.

"No, sir. I just had a fight with my wife. Needed to blow off some steam." The officer, who was probably close to Edward's father's age, motioned for him to step a bit closer.

"Have you blown off enough steam?"

"Yes, sir."

"You're not going to do anything violent, are you?"

Edward blinked and pulled back in surprise. "No, sir. I would never..."

"That's what they all say," the officer replied cutting Edward off in mid-sentence. "I just want to make sure that I'm not gonna get called out to a domestic disturbance in an hour and wind up face to face with you."

"No. My wife is out of town. We were on the phone." Edward grimaced at the very loose interpretation of how the phone call had gone.

The policeman nodded and placed his hand on Edward's shoulder. With a stern, but paternal gaze he said, "Go home and make up with your wife. Life's too short. And remember, the parks are closed after ten p.m."

"Yes, sir. I understand. I'll be going directly home. Thank you."

Edward felt ragged – both inside and out – as he trudged home. As he expected, his phone had blown up with a ton of missed calls. There was even a message on the regular answering machine. He listened to the only message Bella had left on his cell phone. He wanted to laugh and scream out loud and ask her if she thought he was an idiot. He was pretty darn sure he heard the affectionate and much too sugary voice of _Zha-cob, _calling his wife _chérie_ again. He couldn't have been in another room because he was trying to wake her up mere seconds after Edward had demanded to speak with his wife. Almost as if he'd just rolled over in bed and nudged her awake.

The paranoia and jealous, raging thoughts, were beating up his insides. He stalked into the kitchen and turned on the sink, bending over to slurp a quick drink directly from the tap. He then leaned heavily on the counter taking slow, deep breaths, trying to get a hold of these feelings that were spiraling out of control.

He began thinking more and more about some of the personal revelations he'd had in the park. One of the biggest motivators for a lot of his choices in life had been fear. But it wasn't just the fear of not being good enough for Bella. It seems like he'd always felt this way. Maybe it was a product of being the youngest in the family, always living in Emmett's and Alice's shadows? He realized that for as far back as he could remember, he had always felt the need to prove himself. To show that the things he did were just as important as what his siblings had accomplished

As they were growing up, he always got dragged to Emmett's games, and Alice's dance recitals, but when he was finally old enough to participate in those kinds of things, there was just never enough time. His Dad would always say, "Next year, son. We'll see about getting you on the T-ball team." But the "next years" always came and went, and he never got to play. It was only because he became the absolute, most annoying child on the planet that his Mother squeezed piano lessons into the busy weekly rotation for him.

Edward had finally found something he enjoyed and was good at, but when it came time for his recitals, Emmett would manage to weasel his way out of going, and though Alice usually came, she had headphones on during his entire performance. And while his Mom was always there for each one, his father's attendance was spotty at best. Edward never got the same kind of support that Emmett and Alice did.

Now he felt like a miserable, petulant child, wanting to stomp his foot and yell, "It's not fair!" No. Life never was fair but he didn't really feel like letting go of those hurt feelings just yet. He'd gotten the short end of the stick every time when it came to Emmett and Alice and he had every right to feel pissed off. But why did it also make him afraid? That was something his sleep deprived brain would need to shove back into the closet and re-examine later.

It was eye-opening to ponder so heavily on this one motivating emotion. The question he had now was, how to get over it? Certainly he needed to have some kind of conversation with his parents. Why did it always come down to "mommy" or "daddy" issues? How awkward would that be? Call up Mom and Dad and start griping about how their treatment of him as a child had turned him into a coward who was about to lose his wife to a Frenchman named _Zha-cob_.

Speaking of which, he was pretty sure the message on the answering machine was his wife, wanting to discuss something in regards to the _tool_ who answered her phone at seven in the morning. With a heavy sigh, he pressed play and waited.

"_Edward, it's me. Look, Jacob has a girlfriend. Her name is Ness and she just so happens to be the instructor for my pastry class. After class yesterday, I was riding my bike home and some jerk opened their car door right in front of me. I ended up flying over the handlebars and landing in the street. I banged up my hip and hit my head. Ness insisted that I come home to her apartment, which she apparently shares with Jacob, since my host family was away for the weekend. She and Jacob have been waking me up – as per concussion care guidelines – all night. I was finally getting some sleep when you cal..._"

He could feel his heartbeat speed up as he listened. So the jerkface had a girlfriend? If that was really the case, then why was he talking sweet to his wife? As he was musing about how flimsy that excuse sounded, he nearly missed the next part of the message. Just as he felt his heartbeat increase, he felt it nearly stop when she described the accident. Why did things like this seem to seek her out like a sick kind of homing beacon? She was a danger magnet, plain and simple. And he definitely considered _Zha-cob_ in the danger category. The machine moved on to the second message.

"_I was really sound asleep _on the couch, by myself_, when you called. Jacob answered because he's a dork with no sense of personal boundaries, and woke me up, but you had already hung up. Please believe me_,_ Edward. There is absolutely nothing going on between me and Jacob; it has never even crossed my mind. I wouldn't do that to you, Edward. You're my husband and I love you. Please call me back. Please_."

As he listened to the second part of the message, the conflicted feelings resurfaced. She sounded fine, but he was extremely annoyed that she hadn't gone to the hospital. What if there was something serious going on? On the other hand, he felt like a jerk for even entertaining the idea that she would step out on him. Was he really that insecure about their relationship that he would assume Bella could cheat on him? She was scared. She'd admitted it to him. Scared of totally different things than he was, but scared nonetheless. Could he do the same and admit that he was scared too?

He listened to the message again, just to get the facts of the accident straight. He needed to make sure that she was okay; that sense of protectiveness overwhelmed the niggling thoughts of her possible indiscretions.

He dialed Bella's number, still not really sure what he wanted to say to her, let alone what he wanted to hear from her. The only objective he had at that moment was to make sure she was okay physically.

The phone picked up after one ring. "Edward? Did you hear my mes..."

"Are you okay?" he asked, cutting off Bella's desperate words with his short tone of voice.

He heard a deep sigh on the other end of the line and closed his eyes, waiting for her response.

"Yes, Edward, I'm fine."

"Did you lose consciousness?"

"No."

"Do you have any blurred or double vision?"

"No."

"Any floaters or seeing stars?" He began his medical interrogation in earnest, firing off questions almost faster than she could answer.

"No, Edward."

"Why didn't you go to the hospital? There could be a subdural hematoma or something else that could only be seen on an MRI or a CAT scan."

"Seriously, Edward? Look, it isn't any worse than when we were in high school and you pushed me out of the way of that van that skidded out of control in the parking lot. It was just a little bump. I've got a mild headache, but everything else is fine."

"You had an MRI back then," he mumbled, feeling so impotent not being able to at least physically examine her just to make sure that she was okay.

"Edward, stop! I don't need a doctor right now. Jeez, you always do this. I can't talk to you when you get like this."

His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion and his pride flared momentarily before that all too familiar feeling of fear shot through him. She couldn't hang up now, he hadn't gotten all the answers he was looking for, plus he just really didn't want to stop talking to her. "What do you mean 'when I get like this'? Get like what?"

"Ugh, you get all doctor-y, like you're running down a checklist of questions to ask me. I don't know how to explain it, but every time there's anything to do with my health you turn into this ultra-clinical, almost cold person."

He blew out a frustrated breath and said a little too forcefully, "That's who I am. I am Dr. Cullen. It's the one damn thing I'm good at. Really good at. When your health and well-being are in question, I don't know, my analytical brain just takes over. I've been trained to assess, diagnose and treat. What do you want me to do?"

"I don't need you to be my doctor!" She shouted. "I just want you to be my husband. The medics have already checked me out, now I just need _my_ Edward. Can you do that for me, please?" she begged.

He was shocked to hear that she felt that way about his questions; about _him_. He hadn't even realized that he'd acted like that. "I won't apologize for being worried about your health. Bella, you have no idea how important it is to me to know that you're okay. If you're hurt, I want to be able to make it better."

"Edward, you can't heal everything." She sounded so sad.

"But I want to try," he said tenderly, pouring all of his raw and bruised emotions into those words.

A silence settled over the line dominated by the unasked questions that wanted a voice.

"I didn't sleep with him," Bella stated bluntly.

Edward struggled to get that into his head, pacing through the living room. Again, his emotions were at war. He wanted to hold on to his righteous indignation – never mind that he'd been in a compromising position himself only hours ago - but he didn't want to admit that he'd jumped to some grossly erroneous conclusions. He was, frankly, ashamed that he'd doubted his wife's fidelity.

"I want to believe you. It's just hard, having you so far away. I...I'm scared too." There. He said it.

"Of what?"

This was it. He'd stepped to the edge of the cliff, but instead of giving up, now the question was could he jump and trust her to catch him?

He blew out a deep breath and quickly gathered his thoughts. "A lot of things. I'm afraid that I'm not good enough for you. I'm scared that you've already realized that, and that you might not come home at all. I'm worried that my own baggage has me so screwed up that you won't want me anymore." Just saying those words sapped him of nearly all his strength. He truly felt as though he'd split himself wide open, leaving himself completely vulnerable.

"Edward, neither one of us is perfect. We've both made mistakes, but even before that, when we were both young, with stars in our eyes, I chose you. In good times and bad. But I think you're right. I do deserve more than what you've been giving me lately," she said simply.

The statement hit him square in the chest, tearing at the vital parts of his soul that kept him alive. He could feel his breaths getting shorter and more labored.

"Bella, I know you do, I just...," the words dying in his constricting throat.

"Edward, I wasn't finished. I deserve more, but so do you. I realize that I've been emotionally absent. I haven't been the support or refuge that you've needed and deserved. I know your work is challenging and draining, both physically and mentally, and I'm sorry that I haven't had my wits about me enough to figure that out sooner. And Edward? I will be coming home at the end of July. You can lay that fear to rest."

"I'm sorry too, Bella. I'm sorry for my part in letting things get to the point that they have." He ran his hands through his hair and felt some of the tension leaving his shoulders. "Are you really sure you're okay? I mean from hitting your head? You're not just glossing over things, right?" He couldn't help it. He'd only been working on subduing the over-protective doctor for a few minutes. "I'm sorry, I just..."

He heard a long sigh before she answered, "I'm sure, Edward. Everything is fine. I promise if anything out of the norm happens, I'll go get checked out."

"Okay," he said, only partly mollified, but not wanting to continue harping on the matter. "So how are you enjoying your class?" he asked, wanting to start getting back to the easy relationship they used to enjoy.

"It's really good. The pastries we've been learning to make are so amazingly delicious."

Edward smiled at the long-lost enthusiasm he heard in Bella's voice. She finally sounded alive and happy. Maybe this time apart wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. "Does this mean I get to look forward to sampling your new recipes?"

"Hmmm. Perhaps. I'm sure I'll have to practice and hone them when I get back. You might be living in stretchy pants depending on how much you sample."

This, the light conversation that flowed like a natural spring, was what he had missed in their relationship. "Mmmm. I look forward to taste-testing as many recipes as you need me to."

He heard her soft chuckle before she sighed and said, "I need to get going. Jacob's almost done fixing the bike, then he's giving me a ride back to the Chêniers apartment before he takes off back to Béziers to visit his dad."

The soft smile that had just flitted across his face fell instantly at the mention of _Zha-cob_. He really couldn't help it that the mere mention of the man's name set his teeth on edge. Regardless of what Bella thought, Edward just wasn't buying the fact that Jacob only saw Bella as a friend. His silence must have spoken volumes, because Bella's next words seemed to zero in right on the heart of his concerns.

"Edward, you have nothing to be worried about. Really. Jake is totally devoted to Ness. He's just kind of flirtatious by nature. But he's nothing more than a younger brother. Please try to believe me."

Edward snorted and rolled his eyes. So he was a younger man, too? _Knock it off, Cullen._ He tried to think of a way to help Bella understand his skepticism when it came to Jacob.

"Bella, I know that you might feel that way about him, but I just don't buy it. I've heard, twice now, the way that he calls you _chérie, _the way he was talking to you this morning. It doesn't sound like he holds you in the same fraternal regard as you hold him. It sounds like...like he wants you."

"Ugh. Edward. Please, let this go. He means nothing to me. I need for you to trust me. I will not, nor have I, put myself in any kind of situation that would compromise the vows I made to you when we married. And I trust you to do the same."

Edward's ire deflated at her professed trust in him when he'd come closer than he should have to breaking that trust and doing the very thing he had been accusing her of doing not very long ago. His mind flickered back to the Strawberry Tart from the bar and her persistent advances, and he felt the pangs of his own shame.

"I...I trust you, Bella. It's him I don't trust."

"Can we please just drop this? He's really not a bad guy, but there's no way for you to know that, so just please try and forget about it?"

_Not likely_, snarked Edward's inner voice. "Yeah, whatever. Look, I need to get ready for work. I'm due there in thirty."

"Okay. Thank you for calling. I'll email you while you're on shift. Maybe you can give me a call when you're done with work?"

"Sounds good. I love you, Bella. I've never stopped. I just...I wanted you to know that."

"I love you, too. Talk to you soon."

His heart felt lighter after talking to Bella. He finally felt like they'd be able to move forward a little. The trick for him would be to get his raging jealousy under control and _maybe_ talk to his parents. But that wasn't likely to happen in the near future.

**…**

After he got off the phone with Bella, he showered his middle-of-the-night exercising off and threw on a pair of passably clean scrubs. He was going to need to do some laundry. He was already bleary-eyed when he started his shift and it was only by the grace of some ridiculously caffeinated energy drinks that he managed to get through the thirty-six hour shift.

He ran into Eric Yorkie in the cafeteria during one of his breaks. Edward had been in such a rush to get to the hospital on time he'd forgotten to grab any pre-made meals from the fridge.

"Cullen! My man, you missed out on the sweetest pieces of..." Edward held up his hand cutting off Eric's bragging.

"Can it, Yorkie. I don't need to hear about anything that happened with those girls." Edward unwrapped the egg salad sandwich and took a bite, shaking his head at Eric's brazenness.

"Fine, but lemme just say that your loss was definitely my gain. And soooo worth it," Eric sighed, as he slumped into the seat across from Edward.

"So are you still good to cover me next weekend?"

"Yeah, man. I got you covered. So, you really gonna run a whole freakin' marathon?" Eric asked, shoving a huge bite of food into his mouth.

Edward looked at him with slightly narrowed eyes, wondering again, how this man was a college graduate. "Uh, yeah. I didn't pay the entry fee to not run it."

Eric's brow had a little wrinkle of concentration as he packed away another few bites of food before nodding and saying, "Cool."

Shaking his head, Edward scarfed down the rest of his lunch and hurried back to the on-call room to try and catch a little bit of rest.

**…**

The next week and a half went by in relative calm. Edward continued training, though the mileage he was running was winding down, he was still careful to keep up the intensity of each workout. He needed to make sure his pace was up to scratch so that he could qualify for Boston.

True to her word, Bella emailed him, beginning a regular routine of emails and phone calls back and forth. They talked about their days, how work was going, all of the banal things that normal couples talked about. Every now and then, Edward would peek inside his "mental issues closet", noting with some satisfaction that it was emptying out, slowly, but surely. There were still some very large items in there that needed to be dealt with, but a lot of the little things were clearing out.

About a week before the race, Edward began his carb-loading diet and tried several different combinations of shorts, T-shirts, and tank tops to find the two that would reduce friction and allow for maximum cooling. The last thing he wanted to deal with were blisters or chafing of any kind.

When he got off shift on Friday morning, he came home and did the bare minimum before falling into bed, taking a long six-hour nap before waking and finishing his preparations for the race.

The Mad Marathon took place in Waitsfield, Vermont – just an hour and a half up the road from Lebanon. He double checked that he had the message from the Waitsfield Inn on his phone, confirming his reservation. He had to pick up his race packet and check in on Saturday and really didn't feel like driving back home only to have to turn right back around the next morning. The race started at seven-thirty on Sunday and he wanted to make sure he was fresh.

He triple-checked that he had everything packed before giving Bella a call. They only chatted for a few minutes, because Bella was getting ready for bed. She told him of her plans to visit some city with fortress ruins that were famous for having a thousand steps that led from the fort, high up on a hill all the way down to a secret location in the city below. She wished him luck on the race and said good night.

He was just starting to eat his dinner of whole wheat spaghetti, light marinara sauce, and a leafy green salad when someone knocked on the door. He couldn't imagine who'd be knocking on their door. They rarely ever had any visitors.

He wiped his lips with a napkin and walked to the door. He squinted to look through the peephole and immediately took a large step back. His heart sped up and his hands got very clammy all of a sudden. Another knock sounded, followed by the impatient buzzing of their doorbell.

Resigned, Edward put on a very thick and very false façade of cheerful nonchalance, and opened the door with a forced, "Hey! What are you doing here?"

**

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A/N: Who's at the door? Guesses anyone? Okay, we've caught up to my stash of pre-finished chapters. I've got 11 halfway done, and I will do my best to keep things close to the regular posting schedule I've been keeping. Bear with me though, I've got all the kids off school and we're visiting family right now. **

**I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'm sure many of you are heaving great sighs of relief. Let me know what part you liked best!**

**Keep your eyes open for a new one-shot I'm working on for the Pick-a-Pic challenge.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello folks! Sorry it's been a while. I don't anticipate another gap in postings quite as long as that last one, and I left you on the edge to! * slaps own wrist * (bad author) But I guess I'm a bit more transparent than I thought, as most of you guessed who was at the door correctly. It would've been something else if it had been Tanya. :)**

**This chapter went through a fairly significant metamorphosis between when I got it back from LJ and how it's coming to you now. So any little grammar things that aren't quite right are all on me, 'cause when LJ puts it in RED, I have to fix it like she says. No ifs, ands, or buts. So big thanks to her for making me THINK about what the heck I'm writing about. She asks stuff like, "Do we really need that in here?" Which I've decided is secret beta code for, "Delete!" **

**Thanks also to BellaMadonna for pre-reading and being an awesome supporter and trans-continental Twi-sister.**

* * *

Come Back To Me

Chapter 11

"Hello, little brother." She had that look in her eye. The one for which Mary-Alice Cullen Whitlock was famous. The one that had a grown man shaking in his proverbial boots. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" She asked, but it was clear her intention was to barge into the apartment, invited or not.

Since her impromptu visit had thrown Edward somewhat off balance, he didn't really protest her entrance. He knew he should be feeling irked that she would just push her way into his life unbidden, but he was actually relieved. Finally he would have someone to talk to about the messes both in his marriage and the rest of his life, as well.

Alice walked a few steps into the now extremely disorganized and frankly, quite dirty apartment. She turned and arched one accusing eyebrow in his direction and then set her purse on top of the pile of mail that was sitting precariously balanced on the small entry table.

"Sorry, it's a bit of a mess-" Edward began to explain the disarray but was cut off by that look again.

"Where is my sister-in-law?"

Edward swallowed a large lump that had formed the second Alice had laid her eyes on him. Even though he truly wanted to spill his guts to someone, her narrowed eyes, crossed arms, and tapping toe were not conducive to a blab session with his big sister. She was out for blood; his blood. She must have talked to Bella.

Edward leveled his own _why are you asking me if you already know _look. Running both hands through his hair, he slouched past his sister and sat down heavily in his chair at the small dining room table. Staring at the cooling pasta, he said with a small shrug of his shoulders, "She's in France." Hoping to distract her, he nodded toward his plate, "Are you hungry?"

"She's where? What in the world is she doing in France?" Alice exclaimed as she shook her head refusing the offer of food. She looked determined, however, to get some answers. He wasn't going to come away from this encounter without divulging as many details as it took to satisfy his sister.

"Didn't you talk to Bella?" he asked, curious that Alice seemed to be in the dark about Bella's whereabouts.

"Well, yeah, just for a few minutes the other day, but she certainly didn't say anything about being in France! She's the one who clued me in to the fact that you're running your qualifier race tomorrow. She said that she had to be out of town and that you didn't have any other supporters coming. Why didn't you tell anyone about this race, Edward?"

"I don't know. I guess I didn't think that anyone else would care." His voice trailed off into nothing as he noted the look of hurt that crossed Alice's face. He shook his head and started twirling a forkful of spaghetti around his plate.

Noting the heavy vibes of despondency and sadness that surrounded her brother, Alice decided the hard line wasn't exactly what Edward needed from her right now.

"Edward, what's going on?" Alice asked, her voice tinged with concern as she sat down beside him at the table and covered his hand with her much smaller one. The all-business tone she'd used with him earlier seemed to melt away as she saw how defeated he looked.

"It's complicated. But basically, Bella and I just got into a really bad pattern of disconnect. I was too focused on work to see how depressed she'd become and she felt like she needed some time apart to find herself again. So she's taking some cooking classes in France and taking a break from all the crap going here. All of my crap."

"Crap that appears to have exploded all over the apartment. Jeez Edward, have you picked up anything since Bella left?"

"Um, no. Not really. I just haven't really been in the mood. And work plus training has kept me kind of busy. I never realized how much Bella did around here." He had the decency to look sheepish about his lack of basic tidying-up skills, or rather his lack of putting those dormant skills to use.

"Well, we've still got a few minutes before Mom and Dad get here. Come on, let's get to work." Alice turned to the living room to start picking up the debris left over from Edward's weeks of wallowing.

"Whoa! Mom and Dad are here? What about Jasper and Livy? Did Emmett and Rose come?" He wasn't prepared to see Alice, let alone his parents. He still felt raw after his eye-opening session of self-discovery in the park, at least where his parents and siblings were concerned.

"Jasper took the day off so I could leave this morning. He and Livy are going to the Discovery Museum. Emmett got stuck working this weekend and Rose didn't really feel like traveling with the twins by herself on such short notice. But just so we're clear, they all would've been here if we'd known about it before a few days ago."

Alice retrieved the tall trash can from the kitchen and began tossing in wadded up napkins and paper plates, crusted with dried food. "I can't believe you let it get this bad, Edward."

"I know. Trust me, I know. So when are Mom and Dad getting here? Why didn't they come over with you?" Edward began scarfing down his plate of food so he could help with the clean up efforts.

"They'll be here in...about fifteen minutes," Alice said, looking at her watch. "I had a feeling that something was up. Bella was awfully vague with me on the phone, so I suggested they grab some dinner before coming over here."

"Do they know that Bella's not here?" He did not look forward to seeing his mother's face when he explained why Bella was absent. He could vividly picture the disappointment and sadness drawing her usually cheerful expression into a furrowed brow, down-turned eyes, and a frown.

He wasn't sure how his father would react. His father's impassive veneer was nearly impossible to crack. He was the calmest, most composed man Edward had ever met. Rarely could one elicit a strong reaction from him. The only time Edward could ever remember hearing his father get upset was when he'd had to go pick up a drunken, underage, Emmett from the police station. All three of the kids had received the lecture to end all lectures that evening.

"They know she's out of town but they don't know why. Are you going to tell them?"

"Yeah. I mean, they're gonna know something is up soon anyway," Edward mumbled through the last bite of his dinner. He gathered the dishes off the table and washed them quickly, placing them haphazardly into the counter-top drying rack.

From then on, he and Alice worked in silence to put the front room back to rights. The bedroom and laundry was another story, but that would have to wait. Just as Edward closed the door to his and Bella's bedroom, a knock sounded at the front door.

Edward turned the corner and gave Alice a single nod as she fluffed the mismatched throw pillows on the couch.

He reached forward and grasped the doorknob, pausing to steel his nerves for the upcoming conversation before opening the door to his parents.

"Edward!" His mother exclaimed, squeezing him in a tight hug. "We've missed you so much! How are you?"

"I'm okay, Mom. This is quite the surprise. I wasn't expecting you guys to come out and visit."

"Well, what else could we do? You're running in your first marathon! That's a big deal, Son. We wanted to be here to support you," said Edward's father Carlisle, as he grasped Edward's outstretched hand, reaching around to give him a heavy pat on the back.

"Well, come on in. Nothing much has changed in here since you guys helped us move in, so make yourselves at home." Edward stepped aside as his parents filed into the small living room and took up seats on the couch.

"So, Alice said that Bella was out of town? Is it something for work? It's too bad she couldn't be here for this. I would've thought she'd have made sure to be here for something as big as this. You must have been planning it for a while now, right?" Esme's brow was creased with concern over Bella's absence and seeming lack of support for her husband.

Edward sat down heavily in the overstuffed reading chair and aggressively shoved his hands into his hair. He blew out a long breath and raised his eyes to the expectant gazes of his parents. "Bella would be here if she could but something came up and there wasn't anything we could do to change things."

"What exactly do you mean by 'something came up,' Edward? Has something happened?" And _there_ was the look of concern on his mother's face. If they kept going down this road, the concern would assuredly turn into disappointment and disgust. He really didn't want to hash this out two days before his race, but if it was going to happen, it might as well happen now. If he botched the race, he'd just have to try again another time. Or maybe just forget the whole thing.

"Edward?" his father's voice brought his attention back to the present.

"Bella and I are having some problems. She's actually in France right now."

"What?...I don't understand...When?" Esme was stammering in disbelief.

"She left at the beginning of June. She had time off at work that she had to take and felt like she needed to reevaluate her priorities, life. Whatever. She needed to get away from me because I've been a terrible husband." The last few words were so quiet they almost went unheard.

Alice moved from her perch on the arm of the couch next to Carlisle and settled into a similar position beside Edward. She rubbed her hand gently across his tense shoulder blades as the floodgates opened. He told his parents of the start of their downward spiral, when Bella found out that it was unlikely she would be able to get pregnant, he reluctantly included how he'd handled the news using his clinician's coping skills to deal with the heartbreak. That earned a saddened head-shake from his father and a few tears from his mother. They hadn't told anyone about their fertility issues and he could see now that that decision had been a mistake.

He told them of his struggles to keep on top of things at work while watching Bella drift further into a shell that he could do nothing about. He was frank when he told them how he avoided arguments by staying away from home as much as he could. While there was plenty more that he could discuss, he still felt on edge with his parents. He had a whole section of that closet full of emotional baggage dedicated to his family and childhood that needed to be opened, but he couldn't handle that at the moment.

"I don't know what to do, Dad. I'm still muddling my way through trying to fix this." Edward face was streaked with the evidence of his despair, his nose was running, and his head was starting to pound with that headache you only get after a soul-stripping cry.

"Oh, Son." Carlisle was surprised and quite concerned at the level of distress his son was experiencing. He was out of his seat on the couch and on his knees in front of Edward in just a few beats, gripping his shoulders and pulling him into an embrace.

When Edward felt his father's arms wrapped around his shoulders, he stiffened at the contact, not used to how freely his father was offering comfort. When Carlisle refused to let go, Edward broke down even further. He drew strength from his father's arms and after a few minutes and some calming breaths, Edward was ready to continue.

Esme's heart was breaking into tiny, jagged pieces at seeing her most sensitive child falling apart. She wanted to drag him into her lap and repeat the words from the book she'd read to him as a child:

_I'll love you forever_

_I'll like you for always_

_As long as I'm living_

_My baby you'll be _

Alice got up and brought a box of tissues from the kitchen and set it on the coffee table, plucking one for herself as she returned to her seat next to Edward. The silence in the room was punctuated by soft sniffles and blowing noses, but other than that all was quiet.

"Edward," Esme ventured with caution, "are you and Bella speaking?"

He was glad that he could report positively about this. "We are now. There were a couple of weeks where things were bad, but yeah. We're talking almost every day. If we don't talk, we e-mail. So things are looking up in that respect."

"And how is Bella doing? Is she getting things sorted out?" Esme had become more than just a mother-in-law when Bella's mom, Renee, died of cancer just a few months after Edward and Bella wed. She cared for Bella as much as she did for all of her children.

"You'd have to ask her, Mom. She sounds happier, but still scared about what will happen when she comes back home."

Esme let out a visible sigh of relief when she heard that. "So she is coming back?"

"Yeah. I was worried that once she left, she...she'd decide that I'd messed things up too badly and just stay away."

"But that's not going to happen, because you are the peanut butter to her jelly. You just need to help her remember that." Alice's face grew determined as she shifted into her visionary mode. She was thinking about something and Edward was curious. He never knew what to expect from her when started thinking.

"What's on your mind Alice?" Edward asked.

"I think you need to show her what she means to you." Alice said, her eyes still focused elsewhere.

"What do you mean? She's half a world away."

"No, I think I understand," Esme chimed in. "Go through your old pictures. Pick some out that will remind her of how you used to be together."

"Like a scrapbook? You know I'm no good with the fancy stuff, Alice."

"Well, we could work on it a bit tonight. You pick out the pictures and write what you want to say and Iet me make it pretty." Alice clasped her hands tightly to her chest, as if trying to keep herself from leaping up in a frenetic flurry of creativity.

Edward ran his hands down his face and thought about it. They had boxes of photos that Bella had filed away in chronological order, saved for some kind of project. He could probably use some of those. "Okay. Let's do it."

"Is it okay if I crash here on the couch? I might be up late." Alice wasn't even looking at Edward when she asked. She was definitely sliding into the creative zone and quickly.

"Uh, sure. That's fine," Edward replied.

"Maybe we ought to head back to the hotel, don't you think Carlisle?" Esme turned to her husband who was still reeling from everything Edward had confessed. He nodded and walked quietly to the door. "We'll bring your bag tomorrow morning, honey," Esme said over her should to Alice as she met Carlisle by the front door.

Carlisle had always worried about Edward, and it would seem that he had every reason to. He was just saddened that Edward had never been willing to accept the help that they'd offered and that he hadn't felt comfortable discussing all of these things with them sooner. So much pain could have been avoided. "What time do we need to leave tomorrow to get to the race locale, Edward?"

"If we leave here around nine, we'll get there in plenty of time for the expo, farmer's market, and other activities they have going on there."

"Sounds good. We'll be here around eight-thirty, okay?"

"Yeah, that sounds fine." Edward nodded absently, hugging his mother goodbye. His father lingered for a moment longer and gave him a solid couple of thumps on the back.

"Try and get some rest and we'll sort through everything after the race, okay?"

"Okay, Dad. See you in the morning."

After spending another two hours with Alice sorting through hundreds of pictures, Edward was wiped out. He locked up and left Alice in the living room to work on making the pictures and notes he'd written into something more. Alice had been both grateful and chagrined that in looking for the boxes of pictures, they'd come across a still-unopened scrapbooking starter kit she'd purchased for Bella years ago. Alice would be in hog heaven making this memory book for Bella, Edward guessed.

After setting Alice up with blankets and a pillow the siblings said goodnight and Edward retired to his room. He dodged the pile of dirty laundry that had been hastily shoved into the bedroom during the cleaning blitz Alice had instigated, and trudged to the bathroom. He glanced only briefly at his reflection to confirm what he already knew: He was a mess. His eyes were ringed with red, his cheeks were splotchy and a little more hollow-looking than they should be, and his nose was all stuffed up.

He was completely drained - purged, really. It almost felt like debriding a wound. If you didn't get all of the infected or burned tissue out of the wound, the healing would be compromised. It was a long and painful process which left the underlying skin and tissue raw and red. But it wasn't until after those new, fresh tissues had been exposed and then dressed properly that healing could begin.

He was almost to the point where the wound that flayed his soul opened could be covered and healed, but there were a few bits of infection that still needed to be extricated. He needed to come clean to Bella about his almost-entanglement with the girl at the bar, and he needed to do something about his car. He'd finally come to terms with the fact that it was just too expensive for them to keep at this point in their lives.

**. . .**

The next morning, Edward stopped at the check-in desk for the marathon and picked up his packet, number, and timing chip. He then made his way over to the front desk of the Waitsfield Inn and checked into his room. His folks and Alice were staying at a different hotel since their trip had been so spontaneous but they'd made plans to meet on the Mad River Green to browse the farmer's market.

Checking the time, he decided to give Bella a call. He wanted to thank her for sending his family but really, he just missed her voice and wanted to talk to her. That thought struck him hard. It had been a long time since he'd felt eager to talk with Bella. Maybe things weren't as awful and bleak as he'd thought.

He pressed the speed dial and waited for the connection to go through.

"Hey," Bella's soft voice floated over him like a warm breeze.

"Hey, yourself."

"So how are you? All checked in at the hotel?"

"Yeah, though I had some unexpected visitors last night."

"Oh?" her voice squeaked as she turned the small word into a question all on its own.

"Alice came barging into the apartment about twenty minutes before my parents."

"About that, I...um..."

"Why didn't you at least give me a heads up, Hon?" Edward wasn't mad or even frustrated, really. He was just curious why she hadn't thought to say anything the night before.

She was quiet for a a few seconds before she replied in a more cautious tone, "I wasn't sure if they'd come."

"Well, they certainly did come. That's for sure." Edward chuckled darkly, remembering his first thought at seeing Alice through the peephole: _I'm dead meat._

"So what happened?" She asked curiously.

"Well, Alice came over a few minutes before my folks and helped me clean up. The place has kind of fallen apart without you there. I'm sorry I didn't realize how much you do to take care of our home. Thank you."

Bella was a bit taken aback by his sincere show of gratitude. It made her feel a little bit lighter and more valued. It felt pretty darn good, in fact.

"It's my pleasure to make our home a special place."

"I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you for doing that."

A comfortable quiet settled between them for half a minute before Bella continued. "So Alice came over, then your parents got there, and then what?"

"Mom asked why you weren't there. Why you'd miss such an important event for me." Edward heard the sharp intake of breath on the other line and waited. He didn't blame her or feel resentment that she wasn't there. He was finally starting to understand that she really had needed this space and time away, and he could hear in her voice during some of their conversations just how much happier she sounded.

"Edward, I wish the timing was different. I wish I could be there, I'm sorry that I'm not."

"I know, Babe, and I don't blame you or anything like that. And honestly, I'm kind of glad you called Alice."

"Really? I thought you'd be pissed."

"I was at first, but then we got to talking. And, jeez Bella, my mouth just ran and ran. It was like the Niagara Falls of information coming out of my mouth. Once I started talking, I just told them everything. Well, almost everything. But it wasn't until I was on the way here that I realized how much lighter I felt. I hope you're not mad that I told my folks."

"So, they know about the infertility and all of that?"

"Yeah. We probably should've told them and your dad as soon as we found out."

"You're probably right. And I understand about feeling lighter. That's kind of the same feeling I had when I first talked to Carmen, the lady in my pastry class. She let me spill my guts and just listened. It was a huge relief to be able to talk to someone else about what I was feeling, you know?"

"I do." As another pause stretched over the distance, Edward felt like this was the moment he needed to purge Tanya from his conscience. "Uh, so I need to tell you something."

A cold feeling of dread settled over Bella's heart. Her lungs seemed to quit working and she had a horrible feeling that she would not be able to handle what Edward said next.

"I'm listening," she whispered with her last available breath.

"You remember that first time I heard Jacob on the phone?"

"Yes."

"Well, when I hung up I was really ticked off at him, at you, at myself for letting you slip away from me."

"Hon..."

"I know now that things weren't what they seemed, but that day I was just pissed and feeling like a jerk. Anyhow, Yorkie insisted that I meet him and Crowley down at _Electra_. So I went and while I was there, these three women, triplets, came over and started flirting with us. Two of them latched onto the other guys and the third one started throwing herself at me."

Bella's stomach was constricting and every awful scenario was stampeding through her brain. Had Edward kissed this bimbo? Did he bump and grind with her? Did he let her...touch him? Did he take her home? _Oh...please no._

It was all she could do to force out the words, "Go on."

"So I bought her a drink, we talked, she kept trying to be sexy, but all I could think of was how she couldn't hold a candle to you, in beauty or intelligence."

When Bella didn't respond to that most cheesiest of suck-up lines, he pressed on. "She tried to get me to dance with her and the others, but I just couldn't. I didn't want any bit of what she was offering. I turned tail and went straight home. I just wanted to get that off of my conscience and to ask your forgiveness. I never should've been there in the first place. Trust me, nothing like that will ever happen again."

"So you didn't kiss her or touch her at all?"

"No, not once. She grabbed my hand and tried to drag me onto the dance floor, but I didn't hold on. I left almost as soon as we stepped onto the dance floor."

"Did you think about it? Did you want to do _something_ with her?" Bella couldn't bear to talk any more specifically than that about what Edward had wanted to do that evening.

"I thought for the first thirty seconds that it was kind of exhilarating being hit on, but I never once thought about wanting to do anything other than get away from her. If anything, that experience made me miss you more. It made me realize everything I stood to lose if you chose to walk away for good. I'm so sorry, love. I'm sorry to dump this on you and I understand if you need some time. I just wanted you to know that I'm not hiding anything. And I'm most sorry for thinking that you could or would do anything similar with Jacob. I know that you wouldn't."

"I...I don't know what to say right now, Edward. I think I will need some time to sort out how I feel about this. But thank you for telling me."

After just a few moments of silence Edward changed the subject. The shift in topics was like going over a speed bump at thirty miles per hour.

"So are you still going to that Fort with the thousand steps tomorrow?"

It took Bella a moment to formulate a coherent answer. She was still stuck on imagining a sleazy bimbo hitting on her husband. "Uh, yeah. We'll be there for most of the day. I'm going to need something to distract me from wondering where you are in the race. You'll call me as soon as you're done right?"

"Of course I will. Or if I'm too dead, I'll have Alice or Mom call."

"Good luck, hon. I know you'll do great."

"I love you, Bella. I miss you."

"I miss you too, Edward. Love you."

He ended the call with mixed emotions. He was now very nervous about how she would take his interaction with Tanya. The nerves were not good for his pre-race mojo, but there wasn't anything he could do about it now.

The rest of the day was spent with his family, sampling fruits and vegetables as well as other locally produced foods. His mother was completely taken with some of the quilts and other handicrafts that were on display. She must have brought an extra suitcase for the sole purpose of filling it with New-England-produced goods, because there was no way that the amount of stuff she picked up that Saturday would fit in the little rolling carry-on she'd had with her.

They shared a carb-filled meal at one of the sponsoring restaurants and looked over the race map. Alice pointed out a few different mile markers where they'd be cheering from the sidelines. And obviously they'd be waiting at the finish line for him. Edward felt a growing sense of excitement for the race as they discussed all of these little details.

He was surprised at how much he was already looking forward to seeing them, if only in passing, on the race course. He hadn't really taken into account just how much their support would mean to him. It choked him up a little.

"Well, that was just delicious," Esme commented. Carlisle hummed his agreement as he patted his belly and sighed.

Chairs scraped across the old wooden floor of the restaurant as the four Cullen's stood up. Esme's eyes glittered with emotion as she gave Edward a hug. "We're so, so proud of you, Sweetheart." A wide smile stretched across her face as she gave Edwards hand one last squeeze before letting it drop to his side. "All of the work and training you've done, and not just for this race, but for your career too, it's just such an accomplishment." As he hugged his mother, Edward could see his father nodding in agreement with her.

"Thanks, Mom. That really means a lot." Edward's voice was muffled with emotion. That expression of pride alone was in a small measure like a soothing balm to his childhood self. He hoped that he could have an open discussion with his parents and sister after the race was over. He really wanted to close old wounds and let them heal for good.

When Edward returned to his room at the inn, he made sure his clothing was ready, his little pouches of energy goo were tucked into a small pocket on the back of his racing shirt and his timing chip was secured into the little hidden pouch of his number bib. He was all set. Now he just hoped he could turn his brain off and get a good night's sleep.

**

* * *

A/N: So will Edward run the race in a short enough time to qualify for the Boston Marathon or will he be too distracted by what's going on with Bella and his family? What did you guys think of his confession? Are you glad he said something or should he have just kept his mouth shut? **

**The book Esme quotes is **_**Love You Forever, **_**by Robert Munsch. It makes both me and LJSummers cry. Raise your hands if you've read this to your kids and cried too...**

**Edward is running in the "Mad Marathon" which does actually take place in Waitsfield VT. In 2010 it was the second weekend of July. **

**I'm already working on 12, so hopefully the wait will be much much shorter for the next chapter! I love hearing your thoughts and theories! Thanks so much for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hello Everyone! Aren't you guys proud? It's been less than 2 weeks! Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter. You know I love hearing your thoughts! **

**I've posted links on my profile to a couple of REAL LIFE pictures of the place that Bella visits in this chapter. I'll say more at the bottom.**

**Big thanks to LJSummers and BellaMadonna for their eyeball skills. And a _HUGE_ thanks to kstabb100 for sharing her story with me (it helped a ton!)**

**_Allons-y_ to France! (_Let's go to France_) Translations are at the end of the chapter!**

* * *

**Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 12**

Bella slumped on to the bed and took several long, shaky breaths. She could feel the shuddering of a sob bubbling up in her chest and really couldn't do anything to restrain it. And while it was quiet, it shook her body to the core. She couldn't identify one overriding feeling that colored her emotional release, but rather a mix of sadness, anger, frustration, and most of all, relief.

She believed that he hadn't done anything with the bimbo, and that was where the sense of relief came from, but she felt all of the other things because of the whole situation that they'd both created. After a few moments, she managed to regain a modicum of control over her emotions and was just sitting up when Angela knocked on her door and poked her head in.

"Bella, _le dîner_ is almost ready so...Are you all right? Why are you crying?" Angela's face morphed from cheerful to genuine concern in a single heartbeat.

"I...I just got off the phone with Edward." Bella tried to smile, grabbing a tissue from her nightstand and blowing her nose.

"Has something happened? Is everything okay?"

Bella took a deep breath and resolved to not over-think the situation. It was over and done with, and wasn't going to happen again. She looked up at Angela, thankful for her friendship, and nodded.

"Everything is fine. We're still just trying to figure things out." Angela and Bella had talked about some of the problems that she and Edward were having before she came to France. She'd been grateful for another sympathetic ear. It was also nice to have Ben's perspective thrown in on occasion as well.

As the two women entered the kitchen, the heady aromas of bacon and onions cooking with various herbs and spices filled the entire room. Bella inhaled deeply and peeked into the large pot on the stove.

"What are you making Ange? It smells divine."

"Oh, it's my _Grandmère's_ bouillabaisse. The seafood at the _marché_ this morning was amazing."

"I can't wait to try it." Bella went to the cabinets to get out some bowls for everyone except _bébé _Alec. Just as she set them on the counter, Ben walked in waving a large loaf of crusty bread and placed a kiss on Angela's cheek as he put the bread down.

Once the meal was served, they all enjoyed light conversation, talking about work, the kids and Bella's cooking classes. Bella asked both Angela and Ben what their favorite main course meals were, wanting both a native and a transplant's opinions on the matter. Now that her pastry class was finished, they were starting on main dishes. Only a couple of her classmates had moved on to other pursuits when the first course finished and the second course began. Bella was relieved that Carmen and Lee were continuing on in the class with her.

Later that evening, as Bella sat on the front balcony writing in her journal, Angela came out with two glasses of grenadine flavored water. She set one glass next to Bella and settled into the companion chair on the perch overlooking the sleepy town.

"So Bella, I know you were upset before dinner. Is there anything you want to talk about?"

Bella marked her page with the attached ribbon and closed her journal. She took a sip from the glass Angela offered and rested her head on the back of the chair.

"I'm just trying to come to terms with a few things." Angela nodded in understanding, but didn't press for any details. The all-encompassing serenity that followed Angela was one of the characteristics that Bella most appreciated.

And serenity was exactly what she needed at that moment. All of the thoughts and feelings she'd been having since leaving New Hampshire were swirling into a huge ball of mental confusion. Her emotions had run the gamut from carefree and happy to anxious, frustrated, and jealous. Edward's latest revelation was hurtful, but not something she felt like she needed to dwell on. He'd made a mistake, he'd felt bad about it, and apologized. In fact, after thinking about it, she really wasn't sure what had compelled him to tell her in the first place. If he was truly being honest, and she believed he was, it didn't sound like anything untoward had happened on Edward's part.

No, after thinking about it for a minute, the thing that was bothering her most at that moment was trying to reconcile her desire to be a mother versus her desire to give birth to a baby. Esme and Carlisle alone should've been example enough of what two loving adoptive parents could produce. Emmett, Alice and Edward had all been adopted. In her mind, she knew that there were millions of children all over the world that needed good homes and good parents. But in her heart, she wasn't quite ready to let go of the idea of a little person that she and Edward had created, growing in her belly.

"You know, Ben and I lost a baby." Angela's gaze was fixed on the setting sun and her voice, while soft, was laden with all of the gravity that comes with such an emotional burden.

Bella turned her gaze to Angela's face and couldn't help but be jealous of the seraphic expression she wore. _How can she be so at peace?_

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Angela smiled wistfully and looked over at Bella. "Well, of course you didn't know. How could you?" A quiet settled over the pair as Angela looked back at the darkening skyline. "We were much younger; just married actually. The pregnancy was very unexpected, but we were both so happy about it. It was just a few weeks after we found out that I miscarried."

"You must have been heartbroken." Bella couldn't even begin to imagine knowing that she'd been pregnant only to lose the baby.

"I was sad, but my mother had also experienced several miscarriages. Since I was a teenager when it happened, I understood a little bit what she was going through. She has amazing faith, my mother. She let her faith strengthen her. I tried to do the same when it happened to me, but it was harder for Ben."

Bella's eyebrows wrinkled together in thought. She hadn't even considered what it would mean to Ben. "Why was it harder for Ben?"

"Well, that baby was as much his as it was mine. He lost just as much as I did when I miscarried. His difficulty was that he had no familiarity with any of that. He was an only child and never talked about that kind of thing with his parents. I think it was hardest for him to see me sad and not know how to help me."

Bella soaked in what Angela had shared with her. While not the same, their situations were similar enough that Bella knew Angela could sympathize with the heartbreak she'd been feeling over the loss of her fertility. What she hadn't expected was the visceral reaction she'd had to hearing about Ben's difficulty in dealing with their loss.

_Had Edward felt that way?_ The question screamed through her mind as she tried to analyze everything she could remember from that period of time when the doctors told them a natural pregnancy would be unlikely to occur. She then thought about everything she knew about her husband: his intellect, his sensitive nature, his caring heart. What had he felt? Selfishly, she hadn't even considered what he might have been feeling when they were given the bad news. She'd been so shrouded in her own grief and sadness, that she hadn't even considered his. Now she felt horrible.

"Thank you for sharing this with me, Ange."

"I know we talked a little about your problems before, so I thought maybe this might help."

"You seem so at peace with it now. How did you get to that place?"

"It was hard. Especially when we were ready to have a baby. There was scar tissue left from the miscarriage. The doctors said not to hope. I had to let go of all the things I thought _should _be happening and make the best of all the things that actually _were_ happening. After several years, we decided to try to adopt. It was only a few months after we brought Janie home that we found out we were pregnant with _bébé_ Alec."

Bella was pretty sure that she'd read that somewhere before, the idea of letting go of things she couldn't change. She couldn't control everything, least of all the inner-workings of her reproductive system, but she could control her attitude. It didn't really lessen the sting of not being able to conceive, but maybe she could look forward with more hope. That would be her new goal.

**. . .**

Bella woke the next morning feeling refreshed and a little bit lighter than the day before. After a brief detour to Mme. Toussaint's_ boulangerie_, she caught the bus that would take her to Ness's apartment where they'd planned to meet for their sight-seeing excursion to Villefranche-de-Conflent. She'd done a bit of homework and discovered that the woman at the heart of the "_affaire des poisons_", had been imprisoned there at the Fort Libèria. It was that scandal that prompted King Louis the XIV to have all of his food tasted by servants before he consumed it, to ensure that it was not tainted.

Bella was strangely intrigued by the morbidity associated with the fort. She was also excited to walk down the longest underground stairway in the world.

Ness and Jacob were waiting, hand-in-hand outside of their apartment building when Bella descended from the bus. She had no problem greeting Ness with the common little cheek kisses, typical of the French culture. It was slightly more awkward with Jacob, though for him it seemed it was a non-issue. That's just how he rolled or as he usually said, "_C'est normal!_"

As they started down the street to the train station Jacob asked, "How are things with Edouard? Is everything okay now?"

Ness made the tongue-clicking noise at Jacob's choice of conversation starters, but then turned to Bella, seeming just as interested in her response.

"Things are getting better. Just don't go and answer my phone again and we should be okay."

"I really am sorry about that Bella. I didn't mean to cause a problem."

Bella shook her head lightly as she adjusted the small backpack she'd brought with her. "I know; let's just forget about it, okay?"

"Okay, _chérie_."

"And knock it off with the _chérie _business." Bella pointed her finger in Jacob's direction and tried her best to look serious.

"_Tout de suite, Madame_!" Jacob's quick salute and clacking his heals together made that nearly impossible. The trio continued to make small talk as they bought their tickets for the train and boarded.

As the train pulled out of the station and rattled down the coast, Bella lost herself in the passing scenery. She was mesmerized by the blurred fields of bright, yellow sunflowers and the neatly ordered rows of grapevines that covered the rolling hills. She then imagined Edward running along windy dirt roads through the French countryside. She tried to distract herself with other things, but her mind was singularly focused.

Once the train began heading west, the landscape changed from rolling hills to steeper rocky hills and low mountains. After disembarking from the train, they found the shuttle that would take them to the fort which sat on top of the hill. Jacob was rambling about all of the torture devices he wanted to see and the cell where the Marquise of Brinvilliers was kept. Bella rolled her eyes at his almost juvenile behavior, and stepped off the bus when it stopped.

They still had to hike a little ways up to get to the fort, but once they were standing on the battlements overlooking the the quaint little town of Villefranche, they all concluded that it was worth it. Bella glanced at the time again and sighed, catching the notice of Ness. They'd talked a little during the train ride about the Marathon and how worried Bella was for Edward. The race had just begun and Bella felt almost sick with concern.

"He'll be fine, Bella. You look so worried; I don't think you will enjoy yourself." Ness wrapped her arm around Bella's slim shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "Come on, one of my American friends said we had to go look in the chapel."

From then on, both Ness and Jacob did their utmost to keep Bella's mind off the time and the event that was currently underway across the Atlantic Ocean. They went on the tour, saw replicas of most of the torture devices that had been employed there at the prison and finally got to see the chapel.

The room was small, presumably because only the available guards and whatever cleric stationed at the fort would've used the little sanctuary. Bella took in the restored stained glass windows and the couple of benches and then she turned to face the altar. It was protected behind a large wrought iron fence to keep nosy tourists from stealing the relics or defacing the statues. And that's what caught her eye. When she looked closer at the three statues nestled into their own niches in the wall, the giggles bubbled up in her throat and out of her mouth, only barely restrained.

Ness's eyebrows pinched together in confusion and Jacob looked at Bella like she'd lost her mind.

"I don't understand. Why are you laughing?" Ness asked.

"It's just Peter, Paul, and Mary," quipped Jacob.

"Exactly! Don't you get it?" Bella was sucking in large volumes of air, making her a bit lightheaded, as she doubled over with more laughter.

She was able to catch the perplexed exchanged between Ness and Jacob before she straightened up and tried to get a hold of herself. "Peter, Paul, and Mary? They're a folk singing trio in America. They're, like really famous performers." Jake and Ness just looked at her wearing blank expressions. "Oh, just forget it. I just...it struck me as funny. I guess I'm more easily excitable since I've been waiting for Edward's call all day."

"Maybe I'll look them up at _Voila _or _Google_," said Ness with a shrug.

"Are you ready for _les mille marches_?" Jacob asked, clapping his hands together and sliding them back and forth eagerly.

"I'm ready for the food that's at the bottom of those steps," answered Bella. She hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and she had only just noticed that her stomach felt like it might turn itself inside out with hunger.

"Well, then let's go!"

The trio followed the signs to a rough-hewn archway that opened to a narrow and dimly lit tunnel of stairs. There were lights every twenty feet or so and a handrail that was obviously installed in the much more recent history of the stairway.

Bella glanced down the creepy-looking tunnel and started having second thoughts. It was awfully cramped and dark. "Maybe we should just take the shuttle back..."

"_Allez-y, Belle-Américaine_! This is the whole reason we are here! Come. It's not so bad. We can go _vite-fait_ _come ça,_" Jacob said, making a strange chopping motion upward into the underside of his other palm. "Before you know it, we'll be down in the city!"

"Yeah, me and '_vite_' don't go well together, but you're right. I would regret it if I didn't do this. You guys go ahead of me; that way if I trip, Jacob can break my fall."

Jacob rolled his eyes, while Ness just laughed as they headed into the tunnel. Bella checked her phone once more, steeled her nerves and started down the steps.

They were rough and uneven, the rises also varying greatly from step to step, making it difficult for her to properly gauge her tread. But the coolness of being underground was a nice contrast to the heat they'd experienced while walking the grounds of the fort. She tried to count the steps to keep her mind off of everything else, but she lost count when her foot skidded on a patch of loose gravel. The worried-sounding, "Whoa," escaped her lips without thought, causing Jacob to whirl around and steady her by the waist. He dropped his hands as soon as she was stable and raised an eyebrow questioning if she was all right.

Bella nodded once and they continued down the stairs. They were probably about halfway down when a wave of nausea and dizziness overcame her. She stopped and tried to catch her breath as her empty stomach churned. She could feel a strange heat flash across her face, giving her just enough warning that she was able to sit down, avoiding a true tumble.

"Ness!" Bella called out weakly.

When Ness poked her head around Jacob's formidable breadth, her eyes widened and she pressed past him and was at Bella's side in moments. "What's wrong Bella? You are white as a ghost!"

"I...I don't know. I just all of a sudden got dizzy and I feel like I'm going to vomit, but there's nothing in there to throw up." Bella closed her eyes and leaned her head on the cool stone of the tunnel wall.

"Do you have some water in your pack?" Jacob asked from a few steps below.

"Yeah, I should have some."

Ness helped Bella to remove the pack and fished out a bottle of _Volvic_, twisting off the cap and handing it to Bella.

"Small sips, yeah?" Ness encouraged.

Bella did just that, letting the tepid water slide down her throat in slow, measured draughts. After a few minutes she was starting to feel better. "Wow. I don't know where that came from."

"Maybe it was something you ate?"

"I don't know. I had bouillabaisse last night. Maybe there was a bad shrimp or something?"

"That must be it. If _les fruits de mer_ are not as fresh as possible, you never know what can happen." Ness gave Bella an appraising glance and asked, "Feeling better? Are you ready to keep going?"

"Yeah, let's just go slow, okay?"

"Of course. Ah, _ma belle_. I feel bad because I made you go down the steps." Jacob's expression was full of sympathy and remorse.

"It's not your fault my stomach had a bad reaction to last night's dinner. I'm glad we came." Bella waved away his concern as she stood back up. Ness shouldered Bella's pack as they continued down the steps.

Bella took a huge lungful of fresh air as soon as they broke out onto the old paved pathway that led them into the little city. They'd managed to make it down the rest of the steps without incident and Bella, while glad to have had the experience was even more glad to check that off her list of things-to-do and say, "Been there, done that."

Instinctively she checked her phone but her service was still not established. They were in a valley surrounded by mountains, and she was becoming less and less optimistic that she'd be able to get a signal before they left the city. Pocketing her phone she turned to her sight-seeing companions and said, "_J'ai faim. Je voudrais un peu de pain._"

Jacob laughed heartily and smiled. "_Bien dit, Bella. On y va!_"

They found a lovely little restaurant and ordered dinner. And while the ambiance was perfect, Bella could not enjoy it. She was certain that Edward had probably called her by now; it was nearly five o'clock in the afternoon. Provided nothing happened, he should've finished close to an hour ago.

Bella sighed as she sipped the last of her rich onion soup and nibbled on the hunk of baguette that was brought with her meal. "When does our train leave?"

"Not for another hour," replied Jacob, looking at his watch.

"Oh."

"Why don't we go find some postcards to send to your family?"

Bella smiled at Ness's thoughtful suggestion and nodded in agreement. Once they'd explored the limited number of merchants and shops they headed toward the train station. Again Bella pulled her phone out and as they neared the platform, and _finally, _the display showed that she had a weak signal. Like magic, her phone jumped to life with several pings and buzzes alerting her to missed messages and texts.

*_Where are you?_

_*Please call back!_

_*Are you okay? I'm worried._

She deleted the text messages and listened to the voicemail. Edward's voice was somewhat breathless and labored. It was hard to get a read on his state of emotions, though she thought he sounded excited.

Keeping her fingers crossed that the signal would hold, she dialed Edward's number and waited. Just before the voicemail picked up, he answered.

"Bella! Are you okay? You didn't answer. Why didn't you answer?" Edward's voice was weary and hoarse, which Bella chalked up to breathing hard while running twenty-six miles.

"Hey, I'm fine. I was in those underground stairs and lost signal until just a second ago. I'm so sorry you couldn't reach me. Tell me, tell me! How did you do? Did you make it?" Bella could feel her face tighten with hope and an anticipatory smile stretching across her lips.

Bella allowed herself to be herded onto the waiting train and plopped down in her seat as she awaited Edward's response. Ness and Jacob, both having overheard most of the conversation, also held looks of optimism. Jacob went so far as to hold two thumbs up with questioning eyebrows raised.

"Three hours and seventeen minutes," Edward replied. The excitement and anticipation melted from her face and Bella's heart broke for her husband.

Jacob leaned forward slightly, asking with his body language if it was good or bad news. The terse shake of Bella's head and the frown pulling her lips down confirmed that it was not good news.

Edward had been working so hard for the last several months and to miss it by seven minutes was just...awful. She knew how important this was to him. He would not take this loss well. She was about to say something to the effect that he could try again and he'd be sure to make it next time. But those words struck too close to home. The last thing she wanted to hear from anyone when she'd had a negative pregnancy test was, "It's okay. You can try again." She couldn't say those words to Edward but she wasn't sure how to convey the depth of her feelings without sounding patronizing.

"Oh, Edward. I don't even have the words...I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I don't know...I'm just...I'm sorry."

* * *

**A/N: So...no throwing tomatoes please! If you go to my profile and look at the pictures the answers are Yes, that's really me about 14 years ago when I was a missionary in the south of France. Yes that is the real set of stairs. And YES that really is a picture of the Peter, Paul, and Mary statues. That was a true story and I really did laugh my head off. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me!**

**Translations**

**le dîner** : dinner

**Grandmère's **: Grandmother's

**bouillabaisse **: Soup common in the Mediterranean region of France, commonly full of various chunks of fish, shrimp, clams, mussels, sea urchin. The recipes vary.

**l'affaire des poisons** : The Marquise of Brinvilliers conspired with her lover to poison her brothers and father in order to inherit their land. She was forced to confess, tortured, forced to drink 16 pints of water, beheaded and burned at the stake. The lover died of natural causes 6 years later. This event sparked a lengthy investigation and resulted in the "conviction" and deaths of many other people.

**C'est normal** : It's normal

**Tout de suite, Madame! **: Right away, Madame!

**Voila**: A popular French search engine

**Les mille marches** : The thousand steps

**Allez-y, Belle-Américaine** : Go on, beautiful American!

**vite-fait come ça** : really quick, like this

**vite** : fast or quick

**Volvic** : Popular brand of bottled water in France.

**les fruits de mer** : the seafood

**ma belle** : my beautiful

**J'ai faim. Je voudrais un peu de pain.** : I'm hungry. I would like some bread.

**Bien dit, Bella. On y va!** : Well said, Bella. Let's go!


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hello lovely readers! This one is all about Edward, Edward, Edward. Hope you enjoy! I will try to answer as many reviews as I can before I go out of town for the weekend, but they will all be answered.**

**Big thanks to LJSummers for fixing my silly mistakes and telling me when something I've written makes her gag. :)**

* * *

**Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 13**

"_Oh, Edward. I don't even have the words...I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I don't know...I'm just...I'm sorry."_

He let Bella's voice wash over him, taking away a little bit of the disappointment he felt. He'd been _so_ close. If it hadn't been for the stupid charley horse at mile twenty, he would've made it for sure. Maybe he should've eaten the energy goo sooner? Maybe he should've taken some extra calcium supplements. If he'd warmed up and stretched a little more before starting the race, perhaps the cramp could've been avoided.

"Thank you, sweetheart." His reply was devoid of warmth. He was numb, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.

"How do you feel? What do you need from me?" Bella's tone was pleading. He could hear the heartbreak in her voice.

"I don't know. I'm just so...so pissed off. Seven minutes! I missed the cut by seven friggin' minutes. I... I can't even... ARRRGHHH!" He really wanted to break something just to hear the satisfying sound of destruction. He looked around the empty apartment for some physical outlet for his frustration, but found nothing.

"That just really sucks, hon. I wish I could be there for you."

Edward blew out a heavy breath and sunk back onto their bed. "I wish you were here too, babe. I just really want to hold you right now." He closed his eyes and brought back the memory of their last night together before Bella left for France. He could almost feel the softness of her skin, taste the sweetness of her lips.

"I know this was important to you. I just want you to know that I'm behind you if you...you know, decide you want to keep training." Her voice trailed off almost like she was afraid to say what she had.

"I can't even think about that right now, but thanks." After a tension-filled pause Edward wanted to just forget about running. He was done running – from everything. "So how was the sight seeing trip?"

"It was...good. I was a little distracted," Bella hedged.

"Sorry, I didn't mean for the race to ruin your day," he grumbled.

"No, no. It was fine. I was, well it doesn't matter now, anyway. We had a good time. In the chapel of the fortress were statues of Peter, Paul, and Mary. It was pretty funny. Ness didn't get why I was laughing, but I thought it was kind of hilarious to see a sainted trio of American folk singers in a French fort." The lightness of her voice and the soft chuckles sprinkled throughout her description were just enough to brighten Edward's mood slightly.

"That does sound pretty funny. I'll bet you my Dad would've loved to see that. I'll have to mention it to him later."

"So are they not at the apartment, then?"

"No, they wanted to give me time to pout."

"Edward, I don't..."

"It's okay. Those are my words not theirs. They're coming back over to take me out to dinner. I'm all out of the meals you made for me; they were really good." His voice trailed off, but he hoped she could hear the gratitude.

"Oh. Well, I'm glad they lasted you this long. How has handling the checkbook been?"

"A pain in the butt. I don't know how you do this every month. I guess I have a better understanding of the stress you've been under in that regard." He did not want to think about the time he'd spent trying to balance the dumb thing or the fact that he had to go on some informational website to get instructions. _"I graduated college with honors. I'm a pretty smart guy. How is it that I can't even figure out how to balance a checkbook?" _ He remembered saying to himself. His current irritation was only slightly tempered by the fact that he _had _finally figured it out.

"Well, when I come home, maybe we can work on that together; try and stay on the same page, okay?"

"Sounds good." His words came out in a prolonged yawn.

"I should let you go; you sound exhausted."

"Yeah, I need to catch a few zzz's before Alice and my folks come back." Since he'd already showered and was currently sprawled out on their bed, he simply shuffled under the sheet and started closing his eyes.

"I know you're upset with how the race ended, but I just want you to know how proud I am of you; that you finished and finished well." Edward let out a derisive snort, but she seemed to ignore that and pressed on saying, "Yeah, yeah, not as well as you'd have liked, but still, Edward, this was a really big accomplishment and I'm glad your family was there for you when I couldn't be."

His sleepiness had lowered his usual emotional defense mechanisms and he wasn't prepared for the feelings Bella's heartfelt words stirred up. He thought back briefly to some of his personal realizations and pushed through the desire to shrug off the compliment and underline the fact that his goal had not been reached. He had failed, though apparently that was only in his eyes. His parents had expressed the same sentiments to him as Bella had. They were proud of him and he was having a really hard time accepting that. How could they be proud of him for failing? The mixture of his negative and their positive emotions were warring within him, and he could feel it in the way his throat tightened up. And though he would not admit to crying, he would acknowledge that his eyelids might have been sweating a little.

"I love you, Edward. I just wanted you to know that."

He muffled a sniffle on the pillow and turned back to the phone. "Thanks hon. You have no idea how much your support means. I'm sorry I haven't told you that more."

"No more apologies, okay? I think we can start on fresh ground and move forward, don't you?"

"Yeah. I think we can. I love you, Bella."

"I'll talk to you again soon."

"Oh, hon?" He'd just remembered the scrapbook. "Be on the look out for a package coming to you soon."

"Okay. What is it?" She was always trying to ruin a surprise.

"You'll see when it gets there. Just a little something Alice helped me with."

"I can't wait to see what it is."

They spent a few more minutes reassuring one another of the love that they shared. The once-guttering little flame of their affection was carefully being brought back to life, and it gave Edward more hope in their future.

As he drifted off to sleep he thought about how much happier and more carefree Bella sounded. She was getting herself together. He only hoped that he could do the same.

**. . .**

Hours later, the low murmur of voices roused Edward from his nap. He groaned as he slowly sat up in bed, his muscles protesting every single movement. Even his face hurt. A sliver of light shone under the bedroom door and the voices became a little clearer.

"I'm sure he'll be dead to the world for at least a day. I know I would've keeled over at mile five. I am just so in awe of the dedication and work he's put into this endeavor. I wish he wasn't so hard on himself." His mother's voice was calm and soothing, and since she assumed he was still asleep, he had to accept that her words were genuine and not just some cheap form of lip service.

"He is such an amazing man. I wish there was some way for me to help him see that." His father's voice echoed down the hallway, brimming with desperation and - there was that feeling again - hope.

He pushed up from the bed and began the strange limp-shuffle to the door. His stomach was grumbling and he was ready for some food. As soon as he turned the door handle, the conversation in the living room quieted. All three sets of eyes were on him as he hobbled into the room and sat heavily on Bella's reading chair.

"You look a little stiff, son. How are you feeling?" Carlisle inquired.

Edward chuckled dryly and responded, "Stiff would be an understatement. I feel like I've been run over by a truck."

He glanced at the clock on the wall and wasn't surprised to see that it was close to nine. "You guys didn't wait for me to have dinner, did you?"

Alice began shaking her head gently and said, "No. We tried to call several times but you never answered. So we figured you were probably zonked. But we did bring you some food from the restaurant. I hope steak and a baked potato is okay?"

Edward audibly groaned at the thought, earning an approving grin from his sister. His mouth was watering before he'd even had a chance to respond with words.

"I figured as much. I'll go heat it up for you." Alice hopped up with an enviable amount of energy and ducked into the kitchen to fix Edward's plate.

"I've got some bags of ice in the freezer if you want to ice down your legs or feet." Carlisle looked hesitant as he stood up slowly, angling his body toward the kitchen.

"That sounds great, Dad. If the tub was big enough, I'd say let me just have an ice soak in there, but only half of me would fit."

As Carlisle bustled into the kitchen to retrieve the ice packs, Esme came to stand next to her youngest child, stroking her hands through his preternaturally unruly hair. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the chair, humming in appreciation of the loving attention from his mother.

She stroked across his forehead, smoothing the creases of stress that seemed to be in permanent residence on his brow. "You were amazing today, Edward."

He pinched his eyes shut tighter and sighed. Even after his conversation with Bella, he was still having a hard time accepting the praise and accolades that where being shoved at him by everyone. "I didn't make the cut. I failed," he mumbled dejectedly.

"Oh, tosh. Edward." Esme's hand stilled before running down his cheek and grasping hold of his chin. All of a sudden he felt very much like a little boy about to get the scolding of his life. "You have always been a child of absolutes. It was really quite frustrating when you were younger, even more so now that you are older, extremely intelligent, and rational."

"What's your point, Mom?"

Esme released his chin and sat down on the edge of the ottoman in front of Edward's chair. "My point is that you didn't reach your goal this time. That doesn't mean that you will never reach it. I didn't think we raised you to quit so easily. This was your first try. Just because things have usually come easily to you in the past doesn't mean it's the same for the rest of us. It's rare that I get anything right the first time."

"But I did everything I was supposed to. I was prepared and I still didn't make it." Edward ran both hands roughly through his hair, pulling at the ends in frustration.

"And maybe you won't the next time either, but what about that third time? If you give up now, you'll never be able to realize your full potential. You are so much better than the results of _one_ race."

At that moment Alice came out with the warmed up dinner, Carlisle following close behind with half a dozen bags of ice and a few Ace® bandages. Several minutes later, Edward was enjoying his dinner while trying to ignore the sting of the ice packs on his skin.

"I remember when you were first learning to ride your bike without training wheels. Do you remember that?" Carlisle was looking beyond the walls of the small apartment, but Edward knew the question was directed to him.

"A little. I remember falling off and not wanting to get back on."

Carlisle chuckled a bit at the memory. "You were such a stubborn child. You kept saying the bike made you fall off, and that you were _never_ going to ride again."

Edward remained silent, not really remembering the actual events.

"It took an entire year to get you to try again. The funny thing was that you'd already ridden by yourself. And no matter how much we encouraged you and reminded you that you could do it, you just wouldn't. It wasn't until the next summer when your cousins were visiting and I put the training wheels back on for Riley that you climbed back on. You complained about how hard it was to turn with the training wheels. As soon as I removed them, you took off and never looked back." Carlisle chuckled, turning a wistful smile to his son.

Edward was part amused, part chagrined at having his intractable behavior as a child brought back to his remembrance. So he was always a stubborn little bugger. That still didn't explain why he felt so short-changed when it came to his childhood extra curricular activities.

"Why didn't you guys ever let me do any sports when we were kids? Emmett was always doing baseball and Alice was dancing, but every time I asked to join a team the answer was _no_."

The anguished glance shared by Esme and Carlisle did not go unnoticed by either of their children, prompting a question from Alice.

"What are we missing? I always thought it was strange that Edward never got to play baseball like Emmett." Alice took Edward's empty plate and placed it on the dining table, quickly returning to her brother's side.

Carlisle wrapped his arm around his wife and sighed. "I guess you guys were too young to have really noticed what was going on. We must have done a pretty good job at covering the shortfalls."

"What do you mean? What shortfalls?" Edward began unwrapping the ice packs, dropping them into a large bowl that had appeared next to his chair at some point.

"The city of Forks was in a major recession when you guys were little. The hospital had to make some serious budget cuts and as a result, my hours were reduced by two thirds. My student loans were swamping us, and keeping up with the mortgage was nearly impossible. We had to sacrifice a lot of the extras that we'd grown accustomed to." Carlisle looked as remorseful as one can be for a situation that was out of his control. In his head, Edward understood this, but his childhood heart was still raw.

"But Emmett kept playing ball, I was still dancing. How did you manage that?" Alice seemed to be trying to work out the logistics of it all as well.

"Emmett kept playing because he stumped all over the town drumming up sponsors for the team to subsidize the out-of-pocket costs to the families involved. He also spent every summer mowing lawns to pay his own way." Esme seemed to beam with pride for Emmett's ingenuity and resourcefulness. It shot an arrow of envy through Edward's heart that he never remembered seeing the same kind of look on his mother's face for him.

"Alice kept dancing because I agreed to sew every blasted costume for every recital for three years in exchange for reduced tuition. That's six recitals times fifty costumes. Not including the adjustments and fittings that had to be done on the spot. But you loved dancing so much, and you positively glowed on stage. It seemed a small price to pay." Esme's eyes again seemed to fill with love and emotion as she spoke to Alice.

"Your mom stayed up 'til all hours of the night on more than one occasion making sure all of you little girls were perfect puffy confections of lace and frill." Carlisle's face was nostalgic and full of fondness as he spoke.

"So by the time it came around to me, there was just nothing left." Edward stated with a dull and final tone to his voice.

"Edward, sweetheart, we went over our budget every which way we could, but there wasn't a penny left to spare." Esme's eyes begged him for understanding. Both of his parents looked so heartbroken at the fact that they hadn't been able to give Edward the same opportunities as his siblings.

"I thought...I...I felt like you didn't think I was as good as Em or Ali. Like I didn't deserve to get to do the same things as them."

He could tell by the expressions they wore that his words had cut his parents to the quick. A lone tear trickled down his mother's face and he instantly felt like a jerk for bringing it up. "Never mind. I'm sorry I said anything."

"No! Don't be sorry, sweetheart. We never knew you felt that way. You were always so quiet and accepting of our responses when you'd ask about joining a team, we just figured it wasn't a big deal to you." Esme looked to Carlisle with pleading eyes.

"It was when you turned eight and began begging for piano lessons that we once again looked for ways to make that happen. Mrs. Martin's mother was bed-ridden but refused to be put in the nursing home, so your father worked out a deal where he would come in four nights a week to care for Mrs. Heebner in exchange for Mrs. Martin giving you lessons."

Edward felt heavy trying to absorb this entirely new perspective. The flames of his ire and indignation dampened as he tried to look at his childhood through his adult eyes and new understanding. They'd done the best they could for him. They had sacrificed their time, energy, and freedom so that he could have a chance to do something too.

He almost didn't want to broach his next question, but it was insistent in his mind. "Why did it always seem like my piano recitals came in last place? I was always dragged to Emmett's games and Alice's dance stuff, but it seemed like Emmett was never at my recitals, Alice always had earphones on, and even you Dad, were hardly ever there. I just...For my whole life I have never felt like I was good enough to merit the family's attention."

Esme's head dropped to where her face couldn't be seen and Carlisle's expression turned to an irritated kind of sadness. "Emmett was at every single one of your performances. He would come straight from practice or from working at the grocery story and stand in the back with the video camera, to make sure that _I _was able to see you play. Most of the time I couldn't be there because Mrs. Martin had to be. Her mother was growing more and more ill, and needed round the clock care. So when she was hosting the recital, I was with Mrs. Heebner. But I watched each tape and was so proud of how well you played. I wish I'd told you that more often. As for Alice you'll have to ask her yourself." Carlisle shot a look in Alice's direction, eliciting a cringe from the slight woman.

Edward turned his gaze toward his sister as if to ask, "Well?"

"What can I say Edward? I was twelve. I was a snotty, obnoxious, tweener brat. I wanted to look cool, so I brought my discman and wore my stupid headphones, but I never turned it on. Even when you were younger, you were always amazing to listen to. I'm sorry I was such a snot, Little Brother." Alice reached her arm around Edward's shoulders and squeezed, resting her head on top of his.

He was completely speechless. Edward's whole perception of his formative years had been rocked to its foundation. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, cradling his head in his hands.

"By the time Forks' economy had improved and your father was hired back on full time at the hospital, you had formed this shell around yourself and were so driven to reach above and beyond. I guess, knowing what we do now, you were trying to prove yourself. If we'd known back then, we might have been able to better support you; to help you realize that your value and place in our family were sure. You've never had to prove anything to have our love." Esme's last words trailed off into the quiet of the room.

"Is that why you've never touched the money we set aside for your schooling? Were you trying to prove something? Assert your independence?" Carlisle's eyes bored into Edward like some kind of superhuman lie detector beam.

Edward nodded woodenly. "I thought that if I could do it on my own that you would be proud of me. That you would see I wasn't a failure. I was always afraid that if I did something wrong, that you would deem me less worthy than Emmett or Alice. That you'd see me as a failure. The one that screwed up."

"Oh, honey. We've never seen you as a failure. Even now, with everything that's going on with Bella, we don't see _you_ as a failure. We can't say that we aren't disappointed with some of your choices, like not using your college money, especially in light of the financial struggles you seem to be having, but we are so proud of all that you have accomplished."

All of his walls, all the feelings of inadequacy, all of the long-harbored hurt, coupled with the adrenaline crash he was beginning to experience, was too much for him to contain. Unable to stop it, his shoulders began shaking in silent sobs as everything his family had told him crashed and swirled around him like a turbulent ocean. He was hardly cognizant of the three sets of arms that encircled him.

He had a vague sense of comforting words and his own stilted and choked expressions of disbelief and confusion and an entire childhood of hurt spewing from his mouth. He wasn't sure how long the huddled embrace lasted, but he was completely spent.

Leaning heavily on his father's shoulder, Edward hobbled to his bedroom. Carlisle brought him a few ibuprofen and a glass of water, encouraging him to try and relax and go to sleep.

"When do you guys go back home?" Edward's question was slurred and filled with the grogginess that was overtaking him quickly.

"Alice goes back home tomorrow. Mom and I are going to stay for another couple days if that's all right with you?"

Edward's eyes were already closed as he lay back in his bed. "Sounds good."

"Maybe tomorrow we can talk about that car of yours."

"Okay." His response was more automatic than understanding.

"I love you, son. I'm so very proud of you. You're a good man."

"Love you too, Dad." His words came out as a mumbled whisper, but they were still loud enough to be heard by one of the proudest fathers in the world.

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**A/N: ****And the word of the day is CATHARSIS : ****a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension.**

**I love to hear your thoughts! Thanks so much for reading.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello everyone. Thanks for being patient. I was a procrastinator and LJ was having some eyestrain issues, so we're a few days late. Thanks so much for all the reviews and mentions and tweets about Come Back to Me. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Links for the aprons mentioned in the beginning of this chapter are on my profile.**

**Thanks a bajillion to LJSummers for her beta skills and to BellaMadonna for pre-reading. This chapter did not incite LJ toward violence to any of the characters and it made BellaMadonna a little misty-eyed. You may need to brush your teeth after reading.**

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**Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 14**

Edward awoke to the distant clanging of dishes and pans. Just moments after the noise registered in his still-foggy mind, the aromas of cinnamon and bacon curled around his nose like wispy fingers beckoning him to the kitchen.

As he sat, he was glad to note that his body, while still sore, wasn't quite as locked up as he expected. He still felt like he'd been run over, but he was able to move with slightly more grace than the night before.

He was just shuffling into the dining area as his mother set down a plate heaped full of french toast, eggs and the already-acknowledged bacon.

"Good morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling this morning?" Esme was the picture of a modern June Cleaver, her immaculate appearance only slightly negated by the novelty apron she was wearing.

"Jeez, Mom. You couldn't pick the plain red apron?" Edward scrubbed his hand over his face as his father chuckled.

"Where did Bella even get this?" Esme asked, tugging at the edge of the apron.

"Emmett."

"Ah, well, that explains that." Esme smiled all the way back to the kitchen.

"I think it's… cute. It's not nearly quite as bad as the one your mother got for me. That one's got a picture of Adam's body with nothing more than a stratigically-placed fig leaf..." Carlisle peered over the edge of the local newspaper with a wry smirk.

Playing the grossed-out child, Edward covered his ears and pinched his eyes shut while chanting, "Ahhhh la la la. I get it. Just...never mind." Edward shook his head and dug into the plate of food, humming in satisfaction.

Carlisle had once again prepared some ice packs for Edward, which he applied while he ate his breakfast. Once the food was gone, he stretched in his seat and tentatively straightened his legs. He needed to get up and moving and try to work the blood flow back into his muscles. He would need to be ambulatory if he planned to work the next day and scuttling around like a two-day post-op knee surgery patient wasn't going to cut it.

"I need to get out for a little walk-jog. You guys are welcome to hang out here. I shouldn't be more than an hour or so." Edward took his plate into the kitchen where Esme was busy washing the dishes she'd used to make breakfast.

She smiled brightly, accepting the plate and, leaning forward, whispered, "See if you can get your father to go with you. I brought his running shoes in my bag. I have a few errands I need to run and I'd appreciate having him out of my hair." She winked and turned back to the sink of dishes. Edward had no idea what his mother did while making breakfast but she had managed to fill the basin.

Edward smiled and nodded. It appeared to him that his father's semi-retirement was grating on his mother's nerves. So in order to fulfill his peace-keeping assignment, Edward grabbed the last pair of clean shorts and a T-shirt for his father.

"Hey old man, think you've still got what it takes to keep up with me?" Edward tossed the bundle of clothes toward a surprised Carlisle. He'd only just put down the paper in time to catch the shorts, the T-shirt falling to the ground in a small heap.

"I don't have my shoes, and you're a size and a half bigger than me, if I recall correctly," Carlisle hedged.

"No excuses, my dear," Esme sang as she dangled the relatively unused footwear in front of her husband's nose.

With a sigh, Carlisle accepted the shoes and reluctantly made his way to the bathroom to change. Twenty minutes later Edward and Carlisle were walking briskly along a park trail dappled with little bright spots of sun filtering through the canopy of trees.

The silence between the pair was charged. Edward was still accepting the fact that he needed his father's help to sort out his finances, as well as the new-found knowledge that his folks had never really been disappointed with him. His father seemed content to just let him stew. Though that was his usual M.O.

There was just something about Carlisle Cullen that drew information out of Edward like water from a faucet. It always bugged Emmett. They'd do something they shouldn't, or break something, and Edward just couldn't help but tell on himself. As he grew older, he learned to attribute that to his father's conditioning – Edward just could not tell a lie. Which was why he'd felt so compelled to tell Bella about the skanky barfly incident. It must have been some kind of selective gene in the family DNA make-up though, since Emmett had absolutely no problem lying. Lack of said-gene was probably a good explanation as to why he was such a successful personal injury lawyer.

Usually, being physically active helped to calm Edward down and mellow his thoughts, but this current bout of exercise was doing the complete opposite. The sheer volume of his father's silence was deafening. After several more minutes of intense quiet, Edward broke. "So, Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"Uh, I was wondering, well. Exactly how much is in the college fund?"

"Hmm, last statement I looked at, there was around fifty." Carlisle glanced in Edward's direction briefly before facing forward and continuing the swift pace of their walk, his face schooled into an unreadable mask of calm.

Fifty thousand would definitely help. It wouldn't get rid of all the debt, but it would put a dent in things. He was glad that thanks to a near-full ride scholarship, Bella's school loans had been small and were already paid off.

"And how exactly..." _Jeez this conversation is awkward_, Edward thought to himself.

"How do you get the money and not sound like a greedy, money-grubbing adolescent?" Carlisle's voice was filled with humor as he spoke.

Edward let out a huff and nodded, saying, "Yeah."

Carlisle went on to explain the particulars of accessing the money, and the conditions associated with the type of savings account it was in. The money could only be used for approved educational expenses, so he'd only be able to apply the money to his current fees and the loans he'd already taken out. Great for shaving off some of the school costs, but didn't really help when it came to the car and insurance payments.

"Tell me about your vehicle. It's a very nice piece of machinery." Carlisle opened the proverbial door. It was now up to Edward to walk through it.

Edward gestured toward an approaching bench and steered the pair off the main path. Edward sighed and ran his hand through his mop of hair before speaking. "Dad, it's my dream car. The leather is so soft, and the car purrs like a kitten and handles like a dream. It's got all the bells and whistles, it's packed under the hood so it's fun to drive, but it's still sophisticated enough for a doctor. It is hands down, the sweetest ride ever. Period."

"Sounds like you really love that car."

"I do. I really love my car."

"Do you love it more than your wife?"

"Of course not! How could you even ask me something like that?" Edward's brow furrowed in irritation at the idea that he had put possessions above his wife, mainly because he was coming to realize that he'd done exactly that.

"Son, you've spoken more passionately about that car in the last five minutes than you have about Bella during the whole time we've been here." Carlisle leaned forward, clasping his hands as they rested on his knees.

"It's just really hard to talk about her when she's not here. I miss her. More than I ever thought I could. I have taken her for granted so badly. I don't know how I can fix it. It was like everything just fell apart over night."

"One small step at a time. I think the album was a great way to open up a safe dialogue that will allow you both to cherish the best of your marriage without bringing up too much of the hurt. Now, what I'd really like to know are some more specifics about what Bella's been dealing with; what sent her running in the first place."

"I'll tell you what I know, but it's not much." Edward then tried to explain Bella's struggles at work, their fights over Edward's spending habits and cost of the car. He reluctantly told his father about the run-in with Dr. Livingston to which his father rightly muttered _Idiot_ under his breath.

After listening patiently Carlisle said, "So basically Bella's biggest concern is that she feels she has to continue working in a job that is destroying her spirit in order for you to keep your car. Is that about right?"

"Well, when you put it that way it makes me sound like a piece of crap."

"And how would you describe your contribution to the state of affairs right now?" Carlisle's voice had taken on the tenor of paternal authority coupled with a little bit of righteous indignation.

"Ughh. You're right. I've behaved like a selfish, spoiled piece of crap. Besides making me feel worse than I already do, do you have any suggestions?"

"As a matter of fact, I think I do."

When Edward and Carlisle finally returned from their pow-wow, they were brought up short at the scene they came upon in the living room. Esme was eyebrows deep in piles of laundry, sitting on a newly-slip covered couch and surrounded by several new throw pillows.

She threw a disapproving glare at Edward as she snapped a pair of boxers flat before folding them into a neat square. "Edward Anthony, I know that Bella took good care of you, but honestly, it looks like you haven't done laundry since she left, and I _know_ that I taught you how to wash your own clothes."

"Ahhh, jeez Mom. You're folding my drawers?"

"Hush. I've been folding your underwear since you were in tighty-whities. Ahhh. You had the cutest little bum cheeks, running around in nothing but your underpants when you were getting potty-trained."

"Mo-om, please with the trips down memory lane with me in my underwear. You shouldn't have done the laundry. I was going to get to it today."

When she leveled her disbelieving stare on him he raised his hands in an innocent plea and said, "Honest!"

She went back to folding with a half-hearted, "Mmhmm," on her lips.

"By the way, thanks for the slip cover and the pillows and stuff. I know that couch has always bugged Bella."

"You're welcome, sweetie. Consider it a belated housewarming gift."

Edward scooped up the piles of clothing and took them into the bedroom to put them away. Once the laundry was as taken care of as it could be, Edward and Carlisle outlined their plan to ease the financial stress on Bella.

"And what did she say?" Asked asked Esme, needlessly straightening one of the throw pillows.

"Uh... I... I still need to call her."

"You weren't planning on doing this without first talking to her, were you?" Esme's eyes blazed with challenge as they bounced between the two men.

"No?" Edward's guilty response came out as a question more than a statement. Carlisle simply avoided all eye-contact with his wife.

"Oh, for heaven's sake! Carlisle, I would've expected you to remember something like that."

Carlisle started to say something but was instantly silenced by the hand that Esme held up. "Edward, how do you expect to fix things with Bella if you make plans like this and fail to include her in the decision making! She is your partner, honey. You cannot go behind her back on a decision this big and not expect her to be furious and hurt. You strip away any chance for her to trust you again if you do that kind of thing." Esme's passionate scolding hit its mark.

In Edward's mind, he just wanted to make things easier for Bella. He wanted to take care of it so she wouldn't worry. What he hadn't considered was how she would feel if he took away her right to have an input in decisions that would affect them both equally.

**. . .**

Bella was stirring the roux, waiting for the perfect moment when it changed from a light cream color to a nutty tan color. As soon as she saw the telltale darkening, she deftly poured the milk into the saucepan, whisking at the same time to avoid lumps. Today they were making cheese souffle and Bella had already received praise for her _mise-en-place _– the set up of her work station – and her instructor, Felix Dufresne, was eyeing her technique appreciatively all the while trying to help Carmen keep her pot from boiling over.

"_Là, vous voyez_?" Felix's question echoed through the noisy kitchen as he held up Bella's pot, her hands still connected to the handle and now raised at an awkward angle. A strange quiet, filled with bubbling pots and hissing from the gas stoves settled over the room. "Ziss eez ze perfect _béchamel_. If it doesn't look like ziss, zen you must start all over again! _Très bien_, Bella." Immediately, the clanging of pans on cooktops and swishing whisks resumed.

"_Merci_, Chef." Bella's face flushed more from embarrassment than from the heat coming off of the large commercial stoves they were using. She set the pot to the side to cool while she prepared the rest of the ingredients for her souffle.

Her heart was bursting with sympathy for Carmen as she heard Chef Felix saying, "Oh la la la. _Non_! Carmen, 'ow iz ziss even possible? _Encore_. You must start over."

She then chuckled quietly as she heard Carmen mimicking Felix in her heavily Americanized accent. She'd be fine. But just in case she wasn't, Bella quickly finished her preparation and delivered the dish to the oven to cook, then sidled up next to Carmen.

"Need a hand?" Bella asked, glancing around surreptitiously.

"Do I ever! I have no idea what I'm doing wrong, here." Carmen's wiped her forearm across her brow and huffed an errant lock of hair from her eyes.

While Bella quietly directed Carmen on proper technique, they chatted about the usual things. Carmen was looking forward to returning home to spend time with their grand-baby. Bella told her about Edward's disappointing race results, but spoke hopefully about the phone conversation that followed.

"Well, it sounds like you two are on the right track," Carmen said reassuringly as she carefully slid her finished creation into the oven.

"I think so, too. I'm just a little worried about what is going to happen when I get back home. I really don't think I can go back to my old job, but I don't know how else we can make ends meet." Carmen looped her arm through Bella's and steered her into the little courtyard that comprised the interior of the block where the school was located.

"If you could do anything, what would your dream job be?"

_Being a full time mother_ was the first thing that popped into Bella's head. She pressed that thought back for the moment and focused on jobs that she'd enjoy outside of the home. "Well, there's this little cupcake shop not far from our apartment. I would love to work there, but they're hardly ever hiring, and the pay would be way too low."

Carmen sat in silence for a while, rubbing a slow circle on Bella's hand. "Don't shut the door on dreams, honey. You never know what you might find when you go after them."

The timer Bella had clipped to her apron started beeping, ending the heart-to-heart between her and her surrogate mother figure.

Her souffle was the puffiest and most delicious out of the offerings of the entire class. Chef Felix again heaped a shameful amount of praise on Bella's head, and while she liked cooking main dishes, she really liked making pastries better.

The next morning she awoke with that not-so-fresh feeling and cursed under her breath when she saw the spots of blood on her sheets. She really hated having such an irregular period but that was just something she dealt with as part of her condition.

She stripped the bed and hurried to the bathroom to try and rinse out as much of the stain as she could. Once she'd scrubbed most of blood out, she cleaned herself up and dressed for the day.

She was digging around in the cupboard, looking for something that resembled bleach, but couldn't remember what it was called. "Angela? Where is the bleach?" Bella called down the hall toward the kitchen where Angela was making breakfast for the kids.

"It's on the top, the _Javel,_" she replied.

Bella reached up on her tip-toes and lifted the bottle down. She went back to the bathroom and stuffed the sheets and her dirty underwear clothes into the washing machine. Just as she turned it on, Angela knocked softly on the door jamb.

"Is everything alright?" Angela was leaning to the side so only half her body was visible.

"Yeah, just _mes règles_. If the stain doesn't come out, I'll buy new sheets. I promise!"

"Oh la la, Bella. Don't worry about that. It happens to us all! So I have something for you. It was just delivered – overnight express! It must be important!"

"Really?" At first Bella was a bit confused, then she remembered what Edward had said on Sunday. "Oh! Where is it!" Bella was bouncing on the balls of her feet as Angela straightened up and produced the package that had been hidden outside of Bella's view.

Bella snatched it excitedly from Angela's hands and rushed into her room, tearing the package open as she went. She tipped the box over and a small, square photo album tumbled out, followed by a CD and an envelope. She opened the letter and read the brief note, her eyes already starting to tear up.

_My Dearest Love,_

_I hope you'll enjoy taking this walk down memory lane with me. These are some of my most precious memories. And I look forward to making many, many more with you._

_Yours forever and always,_

_Edward_

"Angela, do you have a CD player?" Bella whispered. Angela was leaning in the doorway, acutely curious about the package that had lit Bella up from within, but also seeming to try to respect her privacy as well.

"Yeah, sure. Let me go get it for you!" Moments later, she returned with a small boombox and plugged it in. "It's from Edward?" She glanced toward the package.

Bella nodded. She had already flipped to the first page - a picture of when they were just teenagers, a few days after their first official date – and knew she was going to be a blubbering mess when she was done looking through the book.

Angela gently slid the CD from Bella's hand and placed it in the stereo. As the first few notes of the song played, Bella could feel the emotion rising swiftly up through her chest and causing her throat to tighten. She flipped to the next page, and the one after that. The songs – some old, some new – each held meaning to the pictures he'd chosen for this memory book.

Bella traced her fingers over some of the embellishments for which she was sure Alice was responsible. But what caught her attention most were the little blurbs that Edward had written in his own blocky print. When she finally turned to the last page, tears were streaming down her face. At some point, Angela must have slipped out because when Bella reached for her phone she was alone. As she went to dial Edward's number, though, she realized that it would be the middle of the night for him. She'd have to wait until the afternoon to call Edward.

She floated through the day, distracted and supremely happy. Even Chef Felix commented on her lack of presence in the classroom, but she couldn't help it. As soon as she was out of the building, she turned her phone back on and dialed Edward's number. She walked swiftly to the park, knowing that she would be a menace to all the other pedestrians if she were to try and have this conversation while still in motion.

"Bella," came the smooth answer to her call.

"Oh, hon, I got the album today and it was so beautiful and amazing and I love it so much and I can't believe you and Alice did that in such a short amount of time, but it was perfect. Just...so perfect. And those are all my favorite moments too. All of them!"

"Whoa, beautiful. Slow down and breathe!" His soft chuckle warmed her to the very tips of her soul. "I'm glad. 'Cause I meant every single thing in there. Prepare to be wooed."

Bella took a deep breath and said, "Okay. I'm prepared. Lay it on me."

Edward hummed for a moment and then began. "_Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate..."_

"Cheeseball," Bella murmured.

Edward's answering laugh confirmed that he was just teasing. "I really do intend to woo you, Bella," his voice taking on a serious quality. "I miss you. Every day, I miss you more than the day before."

"I miss you too Edward, but it's just a couple more weeks."

They both sighed at the same time and chuckled at their mutual moony-ness. "So how are you feeling now a couple days after the race?"

"My body is still sore, but I'm okay. I had a really eye-opening talk with my family. Then yesterday, Dad and I had a good talk about the car and the education fund they still have set aside for me."

Bella's heart clenched and she grew nervous, but didn't really understand why she all-of-a-sudden felt gripped by panic.

"And what did he say?" Bella's breaths were slow and shallow at first but as she listened to her husband explain what he and his father had discussed, she could feel her heart start to slow, and her breathing evening out. They'd really been thorough.

"So what do you think?" Edward asked, his voice full of hesitancy and trepidation.

Bella was quiet for a moment, just wanting to make sure her voice was steady. "I think that's a great plan. I wish I could be there to help, but I'm sure whatever you decide will be fine. Do you think..."

She wasn't sure if she should ask the next question out loud, but in light of their discussion, she couldn't see a reason beyond her own worries not to ask.

"What is it, love?"

"Does this mean I can quit Banner & Cope? I just can't stomach the thought of going back to work there, you know? I mean, I can find a part time job, or something. I was thinking about maybe trying that little bakery a few blocks away." Bella tugged on a strand of hair that she'd been worrying while she listened.

"I think we'll be okay. If you get a part time job, then we should be more than fine. Maybe you can concentrate on creative writing again."

"I would really like that. Let's talk more about it when I get home, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Bella was the happiest she'd been in years. She finally felt like herself again. She looked forward to talking with Edward, she was slowly finding her creativity again, and she would be able to quit the job she hated. She finally felt like she could breathe. As she laid lay down to bed that night she thought back to one of her talks with Carmen. Her first thought had been: _I want to be a mother. _Not: _I want to have a baby._

The gravity of that reality came crashing down on her with such a force that she had to let it out. She immediately dialed Edward and as soon as he picked up she said, "I want to adopt."

"Wha...?" Came the bewildered response from her husband.

"I don't care how we bring a child into our family. I just know that I want to be a mommy by whatever means, and I want you to be a daddy. You're going to be the best father, Edward. I just know it."

"Are you sure, Bella? There are other things we haven't tried, we can check..."

"We can explore all of those options, but I'm okay with whatever works. I'm ready."

Bella could hear the long, shaky breath, as he exhaled. "I love you so much, Bella Cullen. We'll start looking into it as soon as you get home."

"We've got a lot to do 'as soon as I get home'." Bella's heart swelled with joy at the thought of all the plans that they were finally making for their future.

"That we do. And we have the rest of forever to do it. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Get some sleep, it's late." Edward's voice was soft and hypnotizing as they said goodbye. Bella closed her eyes, truly at peace.

* * *

**A/N: So we're moving forward to a better place, right? Thanks so much to all of you for reading. If you enjoyed this chapter or if you hated this chapter, I'd love to know why! Drop me a line.**

**Translations:**

_Là, vous voyez_? : There, you see?

_Béchamel _: Basic white sauce made with butter, flour, milk, and a little S&P

_Très bien_: Very good

_Merci _: Thank you

_Encore_ : Again

_mes règles _: my period


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Another big thanks for your patience and all the kind words you've shared with me. Please continue with the patience since the "crazy quotient" of my life just jumped significantly. I've now got 2 of my 4 kids doing sports and practices have just started, so every night has something going on. And we're in the middle of landscaping our front yard (by ourselves). And we're probably going to get new counters in the kitchen which will involve us removing the old ones, and then having to install a new tile backsplash (again by ourselves). It's great to save money by doing things yourself, but it sure does take a boat-load of time.**

**And thank you to all who alerted me to the formatting fail of last chapter!**

**So thanks for reading and sticking with me here!**

**Another big _MERCI_ to mah beta, LJ Summers. She makes me think about the words I'm putting on a page.**

**Just a note about the emails. Yes, the Cullens have their own website and mail server. You can too if you know how. We used to when my hubs worked for a web hosting company.**

* * *

**Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 15**

From: Edward (a) cullenmail . org

To: Bella (a) cullenmail . org

Date: 7/14/10

Subject: An interesting day...

So when you called yesterday, I was on a break. Dad decided to come with me to work and we were having a drink in the cafeteria. I think I ran dad ragged. He kept grumbling about "energy" and "young residents." A "damn whippersnappers" might have been thrown in there as well. He left after half a day. I think he's getting soft in his old age. Mom made me take him out running with me to get him out of her hair. I think he and mom are heading home probably tomorrow.

BBL-the ER calls.

Okay, I'm back and I've got a few minutes to write. Where was I? So, on the way into work, Dad and I had a really good talk. He told me a little bit about when he and mom decided to adopt. I already knew that mom's first husband had been really violent with her when she was pregnant. She told you this story right? How the baby died in utero and she had to have an emergency hysterectomy? Anyway, dad was the ER doc who'd sent her into surgery, so he knew before they'd even started dating that she wouldn't be able to get pregnant.

I asked him when they knew they were ready. He just said that there was a moment when everything just felt right. Mom had been off medication for a while and one day said to Dad, "I'm ready." Dad looked at her and agreed. Several months later they brought Emmett home.

Anyhow, my point is when you called back and told me that you were ready, it was like this crazy shot of _déja vu_. If you're ready, I'm ready. I think. It's kind of scary thinking about being a dad, but I want that with you. Just know that even if it's just the two of us for the rest of our lives, I will die a happy and satisfied man.

How's your French coming? Is it getting easier to talk to the locals?

Okay, gotta run. A trauma is coming in.

Love you,

Edward

P.S. Happy Bastille Day!

_From: Bella (a) cullenmail . org _

_To: Edward (a) cullenmail . org_

_Date: 7/16/10_

_Subject: Your mom_

_I think your mother is probably a saint. How many days is your dad still working? Isn't it down to like 1 or 2 days a week? Or is it consult by appointment only now? Anyhow, that's really good that you and your dad had a chance to talk. _

_I'm scared too. I know I want to be a mom, but thinking it and actually doing it are two different things. I just know, deep down in my heart that now is the time._

_So you're back at work? How are the legs holding up? Hopefully not too sore. Things here are fine. I do find that I get a little lonely. I miss having you near me. I miss having to roll you over onto your side when you start snoring. I miss the way we used to talk before everything went sideways. Two weeks. I keep telling myself that, but then I feel like I'm wishing away my time here. I don't want to waste a minute of it._

_Angela keeps asking me if there are any more sights I want to go see, but I don't know. I'll probably go down to the tourist office and browse the brochures. The French is coming along. I can get by and understand most things, it's harder to speak and not sound like a foreigner. But the people I interact with every day are pretty cool. _

_Mme. Toussaint, the lady at the bakery, has taken to pinching my cheek when I come in. She a sweet old thing, but she's feisty. She's probably a lot like what Alice will be like when she's in her sixties._

_So is Dr. G. still running you ragged? Have you started applying to any hospitals in Washington?_

_Miss you,_

_Love Me xoxo_

_P.S. Bastille Day was great. Got to watch fireworks. It almost made up for missing the 4th of July. :)_

From: Edward (a) cullenmail . org

To: Bella (a) cullenmail . org

Date: 7/17/10

Subject: Washington and stuff

No, Dr. G. and I had a long talk after the whole Dr. Livingston thing blew up. I didn't go into specifics, but I did mention that things between you and me had been strained. He hasn't asked me to cover for Crowley or anyone in a while. After he met Dad, Dr. G. pulled me aside and said something really poignant. He said, "No amount of success at work can compensate for failure in the home." Then he apologized for relying so heavily on me to cover for others. Shocked the crap out of me. I never expected him to apologize.

So, yeah. I've started applying to several of the major hospital centers around Seattle and Portland. I probably won't hear anything for a while, but who knows.

Mom and Dad left today. They're just going to take their time getting back home. Mom was all excited about stopping in Chicago. She wanted to see if my caseworker was still at the social services department, show her pictures of you and me and brag about her son, The Doctor.

So tell me about what you do each day. What's it like there? It's been years since I've been to Europe. If we were to ever go back to France together what would you want to do?

How are the cooking lessons? I can't wait to see what kinds of delicious foods you are going to make for me when you get home. I can almost imagine how good the apartment will smell when you're cooking.

Okay-so please don't get mad or anything, but how are your meds working? Have you noticed a difference? Any side effects? I'm just concerned about you being over there with no access to your regular doctors.

I think when you get home we should go someplace special. Just for the weekend. I want to just be alone with you away from New Hampshire, away from everything. Just you and me. What do you think?

This sucks being apart. I miss you. I love you. You are the center of my world. I know now that I would be completely lost without you.

One Lucky Man,

Edward

_From: Bella (a) cullenmail . org_

_To: Edward (a) cullenmail . org_

_Date: 7/19/10_

_Subject: Places to go, things to do_

_I'm glad Dr. G. has lightened up on you. I hope he still gives you a good recommendation, though. What was your first choice of hospitals? I can't remember. Feels like I can't remember anything. I was writing in my journal and lost my train of thought and for the life of me, I could not remember what I was writing about._

_Anyhow. Places I'd like to see. Hmm. Probably Nice and maybe Lyon. I've heard cool things about all of the secret passageways people used during the middle ages to transport silk – traboules, I think? Maybe Dijon. We could buy Emmett some real mustard. I wouldn't mind walking through Paris, seeing the Louvre and the Jardin des Tuilleries. Maybe some of the old chateâux and Versailles of course._

_What I'd love for you to see are the endless fields of sunflowers and rows and rows of lavender bushes. There are some places I pass by that are just so picturesque. I don't know. It's just so beautiful and different from anywhere that we've lived. _

_Cooking class is amazing. We've been working with lamb and duck for the last couple of days, which is interesting. I don't know if I'd make them a staple in our weekly menu, but some of the dishes have been really tasty. I'd for sure make them for a special occasion. _

_I'm not mad that you asked about the medication. It seems to be helping. I honestly feel hopeful, and I haven't really felt like that in what seems like forever. Don't feel bad, it's not all your fault. I know you're trying to blame yourself and you shouldn't. You can't read my mind. It's up to me to listen to my body and ask for help. I just didn't realize how far I'd slipped. _

_As for side effects, I went back and read over the pamphlet that came with the pills. I've had some headaches and a little bit of nausea and I do feel tired sometimes, but it's nothing serious. Most days I feel just fine. I was a little bloated but I think that's because "Aunt Flo" was in town. So nothing serious to worry about. _

_I love the idea of a weekend to ourselves, but can we afford it? You are more on top of our finances now than I am. So, yeah. If the checkbook can handle it, then I'd love to. Maybe we can hit that bed & breakfast up in the mountains. The Red Something or other. I can't remember the name. It doesn't matter. Surprise me. (*snort* I'll bet you never thought you'd hear me say that!)_

_I miss you too. And just remember, less than two weeks. _

_Ever yours,_

_Bella_

**. . .**

The last two weeks of July sped by faster than Bella could imagine. Every day she and Edward would share some kind of interaction; whether it was a few text messages, a phone call or an email didn't matter. They were talking again and it felt really good. And true to his word, he wooed her like she'd never been wooed before. Every time they talked, she could feel her heart unfurling a little bit more like the petals of a rose basking in the sun.

Carmen would squeal when Bella would come back from a break. She'd taken to texting or calling Edward during their breaks now instead of crying on Carmen's shoulder. One day, Lee gently chucked her on the chin and said, "You look like a new woman, Bella. I'm glad he's making you happy."

Bella smiled and responded, "He does make me happy, but I think it shows now because I'm happy with myself." That was another one of Bella's personal realizations. She actually liked who she was. All of the things she didn't have or hadn't achieved, no longer defined her sense of self-worth. It felt like it had taken the full two months for her to reach that point, but it felt so good to get there.

Edward decided to start running again, though not as heavily as he did before. Bella thought that maybe, _maybe, _when she returned home she'd try and do a little bit of jogging with Edward so they'd have a shared pastime. Maybe she'd even grow to enjoy running. _Unlikely_, she thought to herself when contemplating the idea, but still possible. What she would enjoy would be the time spent with her husband.

On the last day of the cooking course, they were presented with a bound book containing all the recipes they'd learned as well as a certificate of completion. Jacob and Ness were all smiles, congratulating Bella on her accomplishment.

Everyone toasted each other and the staff for a wonderful session and milled about the classroom snacking on _hors d'œuvres_ and chatting with each other. Bella was exchanging contact information with Carmen when Ness and Jacob approached.

"_Bonjour_ Carmen, Lee. How did you like the main course class?"

"Oh! It was divine. I have so many ideas now; I can't wait to get home and try to recreate some of these recipes," gushed Carmen.

"It really was one of the best series of classes we've attended. Thank you, Chef Louvet, for your part in making our experiences memorable." Lee leaned forward and dropped two feather-light _bisous_ onto Ness's cheeks. After Carmen followed her husband's lead, she shifted her gaze over and up.

Ness smiled as she clasped Jacob's hand. "Carmen, Lee, this is my boyfriend, Jacob."

"_Enchanté, Madame,_" Jacob smoothly took Carmen's hand and brushed her knuckles with his lips. He then turned to Lee and nodded formally, shaking his hand. "And how can I forget _ma belle Américaine_? How are you doing, Bella?"

"I'm doing really well. I'm excited for tomorrow." Bella was vibrant with anticipation for their last field trip. The day after that, she'd be on her way back home.

"What's going on tomorrow?" asked Carmen.

"We're taking Bella on one last excursion to Carcassonne."

Carmen's face lit up with recognition and she turned to Lee tugging on his shirt sleeve. "Oh, honey! That was one of the places on my list." She then turned to the trio of younger people and, with pleading in her eyes, asked, "Would you mind if we tagged along?" She threw a pouty lip in for good measure.

"Of course we wouldn't mind," answered Bella for the group, then immediately worried if Ness and Jacob would be upset. She took a questioning glance toward the couple and was relieved to see both Ness and Jacob nodding in agreement. In truth, she really did want to spend a little more time with Carmen before they parted ways. Carmen had proved a kindred spirit to Bella, and Bella wanted to make sure she knew how much she was appreciated.

Once the _soirée_ at the cooking school had wound down, Bella accepted the ride home offered by Jacob and Ness. It wasn't terribly late at night, only eight or nine, but Bella was exhausted. She'd been on her feet since early that morning and hadn't had much more than an hour to sit and relax.

The apartment was quiet, save for the soft swishing of the washing machine. Bella took her shoes off in the entryway and crept down the hall to her bedroom. She was just about to retire for the night - the soft pillows and mattress calling her name – when Angela emerged from the bathroom.

"Ah, Bella! You are home from your _soirée_? How was it? Did you have fun?" She looked as though she was getting ready for bed as well, her hair tied up in a loose pony tail and her face freshly scrubbed. The pajamas were also kind of a giveaway that she was ready to curl up in bed. Instead she leaned on the door frame across from Bella, giving off strong "girl talk" vibes.

"Let me get changed and I'll tell you all about it. Maybe we could have some _tisane_?"

"I'll start boiling the water."

Fifteen minutes later the two women were snuggled into the sofa, legs tucked under bottoms, warm cups of tea in hand, chuckling over an experience that Bella had had with Chef Felix.

"He sounds like a real character," Angela observed. Having narrowly escaped spilling all over herself from laughing so hard, she set her mug on one of the side tables.

"He really is. You know Disney's _The Little Mermaid_?"

"Of course! Janie loves that movie. When we first bought it, I think she watched it about five times a day!"

Bella nodded in complete understanding. One of the little girls she used to babysit for had the same obsession with the movie. She insisted that Bella sit on the floor while she braided her hair and then demanded that they both sing along with Ariel. It was a good thing she didn't care that Bella sounded more like the honking seagull, Scuttle, than the mermaid princess.

"Well, Chef Felix kind of reminds me a lot of the chef that tries to cook Sebastien. I never caught him saying _hee hee hee_, but I'm pretty sure I heard a _hon hon hon._"

Angela slapped her hand over her mouth desperately trying to stifle the peals of laughter escaping through her fingers while Bella attempted to take a sip of tea. The indelicate snort, as she gave in to her own giggles, sent tea sloshing over the sides of the mug and onto Bella's leg.

"Ah, _zut._" Bella began wiping at the wet spot, not really thinking about what she hoped to accomplish by doing that with her bare hand. A few deep breaths later, her mug safely abandoned on the other end table, she rested the side of her head on the back of the couch and smiled at another fast friend.

When Angela sighed and mimicked her position, they both smiled at each other and grasped hands. "Ange, I can't begin to thank you for all that you've done for me." Bella reeled a bit at the 180 degree turn her emotions had taken. She could already feel the telltale prickle of tears in her eyes. "You and Ben have been so welcoming and kind to me. You've been the best hosts a person could ask for."

"Ah, Bella. We've enjoyed having you here with us. You bring a special light with you wherever you go. It just took a little bit of cleaning the windows of your soul for it to shine brightly." Angela gave a gentle squeeze to Bella's hand but didn't let go.

"You've helped me see things from a completely new perspective. I was so wrapped up in my own hurt that I didn't really stop to think about Edward. I really think this trip and the things we've both learned while apart will help to make us stronger. And I have…gosh," Bella thought of all the people she'd met during the last two months and nearly all of them had affected her positively in some way. "Too many people to name here, that have been amazing influences for good in my life right now."

"Are you looking forward to going home?"

The ache of missing home pulsed strongly in her chest. She'd come to the point where she was just ready to go back home and face the future. She was ready to go home and repair her relationship with Edward. She was ready for so much more and she couldn't wait to start.

"I really am."

"We'll miss having you here; even Janie will miss you, I think." Angela smiled ruefully. Janie had taken to sitting with Bella whenever she was home, snuggling into her side while Bella read stories to her in French, making her little snotty _click_ noise every now and then when Bella mispronounced a word. After Bella shared her _pain au chocolat_, an unspoken truce had developed, and soon the feisty little girl had become her friend. Of course semi-weekly offerings of some kind of sweet went a long way toward keeping the truce alive and well.

"I'll miss you all too," the last words coming out in an unexpected yawn.

Angela glanced at the antique _comtoise_ clock and sighed. "It's late and you have big plans for tomorrow. Carcassonne is a fun place to visit. The land around the _Cité Médiévale _is beautiful, full of farmland and the _pont vieux_, ah. _C'est magnifique_!" Angela looked toward the open balcony doors and sighed. The evening air had cooled somewhat and stirred gently around the cozy living room, bringing with it the barely-there scent of the Mediterranean Sea. "Are you all packed?" she asked turning back towards Bella.

"Almost. I have a few more things I need to put into my suitcases. But I'm pretty much ready for my flight on Sunday. Thanks again for everything, Angela." Bella stood at the same time as her hostess and gave her a tight hug.

Bella laid out one outfit for her day trip and a second, more comfortable outfit for her quickly-approaching departure. She glanced around what had been her personal world for the last two months and smiled. This had been a safe haven for her. She'd learned a lot about herself in this space. Yes, it had been lonely at times – especially after she and Edward began communicating regularly – but she'd really enjoyed staying with the Chêniers; they had been a huge support and example for her.

She curled up one last time in her squashy window seat and pulled out her phone. She pressed the speed-dial and waited for it to connect. After just a couple of rings, Edward's smooth voice sounded in her ear. "Hey, pretty lady. How are you doing?"

"I'm good. Just wanted to call to say goodnight."

"What do you mean, _goodnight_? It's only four-thirty in the afternoon. You getting gray hairs?"'

"Ha ha. You're hilarious," Bella quipped, the smile evident in her voice. "How are you doing?"

"Good. Just trying to... uh... do a little bit of cleaning up before you get home." Edward's voice was hesitant, like he knew he was going to get into trouble.

"How bad is it?" Bella closed her eyes and thought back to how Edward's room had been when they were still in high school and cringed. If the apartment was half as bad as that, he'd have his work cut out for him.

"We-ell, it's not as bad as it would've been had Alice and Mom not helped me a little bit."

"Oh. My. Gosh. Edward! Your mother and sister cleaned our apartment? I am so embarrassed."

"Don't worry, they know it was all my mess. I made sure they knew that you'd left this place immaculate."

"Still. It's just...ah. Whatever." This wasn't a fight worth having. There was nothing Bella could do to change anything, and Edward was admittedly working on it.

"Don't worry about it, hon. I've got the rest of tonight, tomorrow, and Sunday off, so I'll have plenty of time to get things back in shape before you get home." His voice grew in volume and warmth as he spoke of her homecoming.

"It will be really good to come home. I've missed our apartment. I've missed you." Bella's voice was soft and longing as she thought about sinking into the strong embrace of Edward's arms.

Edward groaned and replied, "Babe, you have no idea how empty this place is without you. I can't wait to come pick you up at the airport and have you back."

"Mmmm. That sounds wonderful."

"So, you've got one more sightseeing trip, right?"

"Yeah, Carmen and Lee are coming, so that will be fun. We're going to rent scooters for the day and go to this walled city where they filmed some of the scenes from _Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves_, and there are a couple of cathedrals I wanted to see. There will probably be a fair amount of wandering." Bella was speaking excitedly and only barely caught Edward's _mhmm. _"We'll probably take the scooters on a little tour of the outlying farm country or maybe up to _Montségur_. Then head back to _Agde_ later that afternoon."

"Is that safe? Riding scooters? I mean, you've never ridden a motorcycle or a scooter or anything before."

"People ride them all over the place here. They don't go very fast and it doesn't look _that _hard. I'll give it a test ride and if I don't feel safe then I guess we can just walk, though we wouldn't get to see as many sights. But it's one of those _bucket list_ kind of things; I'd really like to do it."

She could hear the sigh on the other end of the conversation and knew he was biting his tongue. He'd improved over the years that they'd been together about not being so forceful in vocalizing his disapproval of some of the things Bella did. She had her suspicions that either Emmett or maybe even Carlisle had pulled Edward aside before the wedding and explained what his over-protective, bossy tendencies could potentially do to a fledgling marriage. It was still hard for him, but he'd been able to explain that he was afraid that something bad would happen to her, and he couldn't stand to be without her. At least, that was the usual cause for Mr. Over-protective to rear his wholly unattractive head.

"Sweetheart, I know you're nervous, and I promise I'll be safe. Okay?"

"Please. Please be careful. You know I'm gonna go nuts, now. Right?"

"I promise I'll call when we're on the train back to Agde."

"And at lunch. _Please._"

"And at lunch," chuckled Bella.

"Two days, my love."

"I can't wait."

"Sweet Dreams, _mon amour._"

"Awww, _Je t'aime, mon cœur._"

"What does that one mean?" Edward whispered.

"I love you, my heart," Bella whispered back with a kiss.

* * *

**A/N: If I've missed anything just ask and I'll explain. Hope you liked this chapter. Make sure you brush your teeth, since this one is equivalent to eating a handful of sweets!**

**Translations**

_**hors d'œuvres **: _appetizers

**_bisous_**: kisses

**_Enchanté, Madame _**: Enchanted, Madam

_**Soirée**: _Evening/party

_**Tisane**: _Herbal tea

**_Zut_**: Shoot, drat, darn it

_**pain au chocolat**:_ Chocolate filled croissant

**_comtoise_ clock**: Grandfather clock

**_Cité Médiévale_**: Medieval City

**_pont vieux_**: The old bridge

**_C'est magnifique_**: It's magnificent

_**mon amour**: _my love


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hello All! Hope you are well. I'm still surviving crazy sports practice schedules, a hair less sane than before, but I'm still alive. Big thanks as always go out to LJ Summers for her time and talents. If you'd like to see some of the sights I'm talking about in this chapter, specifically the ones that refer to the Robin Hood movie, there's a little youtube clip you can watch (made by a way more dedicated fan of Robin Hood than me-He's visited all of the shooting locations) that shows the real life location and then the scene from the movie. Link for that is on my profile.**

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 16**

The sun shone brightly in Bella's room as she stretched and woke up. She hurried through her morning routine, pausing for just a moment to look at her reflection. Gone were the shadows that had been such a prominent feature under her eyes. Her complexion was clear and fresh; not a blemish in sight, which pleased her. A few pinches to her cheeks brought out the rose blush that came so easily and she was ready for the day.

She said goodbye to Angela and even received a couple of _bisous_ from Janie as she walked out the door. Going through a mental checklist, she made sure she had everything she wanted to bring on the daytrip with her. Camera? _Check_. Wallet? _Check. _Notebook and pen? _Check. _Snacks and a bottle of _Volvic_? _Check and check._ People on the street regarded her with unabashed curiosity as she grinned and tossed out the random "_Bonjour"_ to passersby. She couldn't help but feel happy. In thirty-six hours, give or take, she'd be home with Edward.

It was a testament to how much she'd needed this time away to regroup that she felt almost delirious at the idea of returning home to Edward. Two months ago, she would've felt anxious and depressed at the same thought.

Enthusiastic hugs and traditional _bisous_ were shared as first Jacob and Vanessa arrived at the café where they'd agreed to meet for breakfast, followed shortly by Carmen and Lee. Conversation flowed as they discussed sights that they wanted to see. _Montségur _was knocked off the list since Jacob informed Bella that it was a good hour and a half outside of _Carcassonne._

They settled into their seats on the train and once again, Bella was penned in next to the window as Jacob stretched out his long legs and propped them up on the empty seat beside her. She didn't mind, though; she always enjoyed the view of the scenery as it sped by. Bella pulled out her journal and started jotting down her thoughts. She was interrupted for the next fifteen minutes as Carmen passed pamphlet after pamphlet full of different tours and sights to see until - finally - Lee rested his hand gently on Carmen's arm and said, "Dear, let the poor girl write in her journal. We'll see everything we can."

Carmen gave a quick pout in Lee's direction before planting a kiss on his cheek. "I know, I know. I'm just so excited to have one more day with Bella." She flashed a beaming smile toward Bella and reached her hand out.

Jacob, who had appeared to be dozing, cracked open one eye and raised a teasing brow in Carmen's direction.

She spluttered a bit then added, "And of course with Jacob and Chef Louvet."

Ness wagged her finger and with a smile scolded, "Carmen, it's Ness or Vanessa. I'm not a chef right now."

Bella reached over Jacob's leg and took Carmen's outstretched hand in hers and answered, "I'm excited too, Carmen. Today is going to be so much fun!"

Jacob closed his eyes and drifted back off, Bella turned back to her journal, while Carmen and Ness conversed quietly across the aisle. Lee also seemed content to close his eyes, but he didn't let go of Carmen's hand. The simple act of remaining connected warmed Bella and once again sparked a longing in her heart to be reunited with Edward.

Sooner than Bella expected, they'd arrived at the _gare_ in Carcassonne. Once they were free of the station and walking down the tree-lined avenue, Bella took a deep breath. The air was heavy with heat and uncharacteristic humidity; there was a very light breeze blowing, but not much more to combat the temperatures.

By an unspoken consensus, they all stopped at the end of the avenue and looked to Jacob. He glanced around briefly and said, "I think the scooter place is just over there." He pointed with his chin in a direction behind Bella. Sure enough, just a block down, was a little shop with a row of scooters, mopeds and bicycles all lined up under a brightly striped awning.

When Bella got her helmet - a sassy pink one with white polka dots, a wide visor and snug chin strap – she was more determined than ever to make this endeavor work. Some may have called it silly - and with Bella's past history of equilibrium issues, unwise - but she didn't care about any of that.

She climbed on and Jacob moved up next to her so that he could show her the controls. "This is the gas," he pointed to one handle, "and these are the brakes," he pointed to two levers on the handles. "There's no clutch, so as soon as you turn the accelerator you will go, okay? Just take it slowly."

Bella nodded, looked both ways and waited until the traffic was clear, then slowly turned the accelerator. There was just a slight lurch before the scooter glided slowly into the street. Jacob quickly mounted his own scooter and followed Bella down the street, around the square and back again.

She felt a little shaky at first, but after successfully navigating two turns, her confidence increased and a wide smile stretched across her lips. She pulled up to the little rental store, slowing smoothly to a complete stop and turning the key to the _off_ position.

"_Impressionant_, Bella! Do you think you can handle it?" Ness asked, a hopeful look in her eyes.

"_Absolument_! I can't wait to ride this all over town! Oh my gosh, I never knew how fun this was!" Bella was feeling the beginning surges of a delightful adrenaline rush and couldn't contain her excitement.

"You did well, _ma Belle. _Just be careful not to take the turns too fast." Jacob wore a wolfish grin as he pulled up next to Bella.

It was just a few minutes later until everyone was outfitted with helmets and scooters. Jacob led the way toward their first destination. Feeling brave, Bella caught Carmen's attention and pointed to the _McDonald's_ restaurant they passed by. It was ridiculous that a restaurant she never cared for when in the United States would hold such sentimental value when in another country. She was half tempted to stop and get some chicken nuggets or a Big Mac, just to see if it really tasted the same as it did back home. All it really took, though, was smelling the French fries cooking as they drove past, to know that, yeah, it probably tasted just the same.

Bella relished every turn of the winding streets and bump of the uneven cobblestone. So far the experience had been everything she could've dreamed of. They parked and walked through an open air _marché_, obviously geared toward tourists. Bella and Carmen picked through racks of postcards and other pictures, choosing several to either send to friends and relatives or take home as keepsakes.

After an hour or so of delightful wandering, picture-taking and the like, they consulted the map and plotted their course to the old walled city. Confidently, Bella donned her helmet, started up her scooter and eagerly followed the odd little caravan along the banks of the Aude river.

Her breath caught in her throat as they neared the _Vieux Pont. _Bella beeped her horn and everyone pulled over. The view was sweeping and epic and _exactly like the movie! It's Nottingham Castle_, Bella thought. Just across the bridge, perched on a hill, stood the imposing ramparts and towers of the medieval city.

Bella, Ness and Jacob arranged themselves on the bridge for a picture with Ness sandwiched in the middle. Carmen and Lee were next, and so it went as they made their way up to the entrance of the ancient city, stopping at one or two other picture-worthy locations.

The feeling of antiquity and history seeped through the stone of the walls and buildings that resided within. As they followed the tour guide through various parts of the inner castle, Bella couldn't help but recall snippets of the _Robin Hood_ movie and think, _Yep that was filmed right here. _For whatever reason, the thought made her giddy.

They stopped for a late lunch at _Brasserie Le Donjon_, right in the heart of the aging fortress city, and ordered the regional specialty of _cassoulet_, salad with goat cheese and honeyed almonds, and the smoothest chocolate mousse Bella had ever tasted. She was pretty sure that some questionable moans escaped her lips, but her inner foodie was rejoicing at the pampering her palate was experiencing, so she really couldn't have cared less about what sounds she was making.

True to her word, she pulled out her phone and dialed Edward's number. Two rings later and she was smiling even more than when she'd successfully mastered the scooter.

"Hey, sweetheart. How are you?" Edward's warm voice floated through the phone to her ear and caressed her from head to toe.

"I'm good. Sooo good. I just had the yummiest lunch ever. I definitely need to learn how to make that _cassoulet_. How are you? Is the house all clean?"

Edward chuckled and said, "Yeah, it's pretty much done. I just need to mop the kitchen and bathroom, but other than that, everything is tidied up."

"Hon, we have to come back here together some time. It is so amazing I just can't even describe it. Oh, and we so need to borrow _Robin Hood_ from Alice. I can't wait to watch the movie and show you all the places that I've seen in person!"

"I'll give her a call as soon as we're done."

"So anything exciting on your plate for the rest of the day?"

"You mean besides the mopping?" His tone was light and joking, imparting an ease to the conversation that Bella enjoyed.

"Yes," she said with mock exasperation, "besides the mopping."

"No, nothing big. How about you? What do you have for the rest of the day?"

"Well, we're going to spend a little more time in the old city, see the Basilica of St. Nazaire, maybe pick up a few more souvenirs, then we're going to see a working medieval farmstead out in the country. It should be pretty cool." Bella glanced at the rest of her group. They were starting to get ready to leave, but no one was rushing her off the phone so she turned back to look at one of the castle turrets that poked up over the other buildings, continuing her conversation.

"So the scooter thing worked out?" Edward's voice had taken on a cautious quality. She could hear the nerves he was trying to suppress coming out in the shakiness of the question.

"Yes, it's been a total blast. I took a test drive around the block, and it really isn't difficult. And I've got an awesome polka-dotted helmet, so my noggin is safe."

"Just so long as you make sure the rest of you is safe too." The connection cut out for a second and Edward's voice came back on, "Babe? Hang on, that's the hospital calling on the other line."

While Bella waited for Edward to return, she gathered her bag and left her share of the tip for the waiter and followed her group back out to the narrow avenue that wound through the village. As they walked in the direction of the basilica, Bella admired all of the bright potted geraniums that hung from balconies and the shop signs with their fancy scrolled writing, inviting you into their establishments. She snorted at the idea that this little town probably looked a whole lot more depressing in the dark ages when it was in its heyday.

Finally Edward clicked back on. "Sorry hon. I'm gonna have to go in to the hospital. Dr. Garrett needs to meet with me. It sounds like something major is going on with staffing, but he wouldn't elaborate over the phone."

"Oh, okay. Hope it's nothing serious. I'll still see you tomorrow evening at the airport, right?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Love you."

"Love you, too. Have fun and don't forget to call me when you get back to Agde."

"I promise! Bye."

Bella stowed her phone and caught up to her group and linked arms with both Carmen and Ness, falling seamlessly into the ongoing conversation.

**. . .**

The Bella-induced smile remained plastered on Edward's face from the time he changed out of his grubby cleaning clothes into a pair of khaki's and a light blue chambray button down, clear up to the moment he walked into the hospital.

After double checking Dr. Garrett's whereabouts with the ER reception attendant, Edward strode down the hall and took the stairs up two floors to Dr. G.'s office. The short rap on the door was quickly followed by a weary sounding, "Come in."

Edward pushed open the door and tentatively sat in the chair opposite the large desk and his mentor.

"Sorry to call you in on your day off, but we've had a situation arise and it will be affecting all of the residents' schedules." Dr. G.'s bleak expression left Edward feeling a little cold.

"What's going on?"

"Dr. Crowley will be on a temporary administrative leave of absence, pending disciplinary action from the New Hampshire Medical Society."

Edward sat there, slack-jawed and stunned. He'd never really liked Crowley, but also never thought that he'd land himself with a disciplinary hearing.

"Wow, uh. Okay. So what does that mean for the rest of us?" Edward sat up a little taller and leaned forward pensively, his elbows resting heavily on the arms of the chair he occupied.

"I'll be restructuring the rotation schedule, so you'll probably have a change in your shifts coming up. Peter Miller, from the Manchester campus, will be transferring down in a few days, but until then we'll need some help with staffing the ER."

Edward ran his hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. This was exactly the position he did not want to be in. Bella was coming home in a day; he could not just pick her up and abandon her for the hospital again. He blew out a heavy breath and turned pleading eyes to Dr. Garrett. "Bella's coming home tomorrow, Doc. I can't just bail on her the day she gets back. I did that too much before and it – wasn't good for us. I'd _really_ prefer to be home for a day or two when she gets home."

Even though Dr. Garrett's face was turned down, studying the stacks of folders and papers that littered the desk, Edward still caught a slight quirk of a smile on the older man's lips.

"I figured you'd say something like that. Look, if you can stay today until shift change for the night crew, I'll set your new schedule to start on Wednesday. So you'll have all of Monday and Tuesday with your wife. How does that sound?"

"That would be great, sir. Thank you." Edward rose, shook Dr. Garrett's hand, and left the office. He jogged down the stairs once more and hurried to the doctor's lounge. Shrugging into his lab coat he went in search of the one colleague that was sure to have all the dirty details of Doctor Crowley's LOA.

Not seeing Dr. Yorkie right away, Edward glanced over the triage board and pulled a chart from the racks and headed in the direction of the curtained area. He was just about to greet his first patient when he caught sight of the exact person he wanted to question.

"Yorkie!" Eric's head popped up at the sound of Edward's voice. "How's it goin', man?"

"Hey, Cullen. Not bad, not bad. So what's up with you? You look pretty good for a guy who ain't gettin' any."

Yorkie really was a pig. Edward wouldn't be sad at all to sever ties in a few months, once his residency was complete.

"Shut up, man. That's none of your business."

"Sorry, sorry. Just commenting. You do look better, though."

"I feel better. Bella's coming home tomorrow."

"Ah, well, that explains it. The little woman returns." Eric waggled his eyebrows suggestively, earning a withering glare from Edward.

"So what's going down with Crowley?" Edward just wanted to get the basics and get back to treating patients.

"Dude. He got caught stealing Schedule II's from the pharmacy lock-up and writing phony scripts."

Edward let out a low whistle as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Did you know anything about it?"

"Hell no! But it explains some of his more recent behavior." Eric bent over the chart he was working on and jotted down a few more notes. But Edward's curiosity was still not satisfied.

"So how did he get caught?"

"Apparently he was bangin' one of the nurses who was helping him scam pills. When she got clingy and wanting a commitment and everything, he dumped her like yesterday's news. Well, hell hath no fury and all that. She tipped off Garrett and one thing led to another." Eric shrugged and went back to his chart.

"So she didn't care about screwing herself over in the process?" Edward couldn't understand why anyone would want to risk their career getting involved in such a scam to begin with, but then to torpedo yourself over a schmuck like Crowley?

"Apparently not."

"Huh."

"Yeah. So you headed to the lounge?" Eric began walking toward the doctor's retreat.

"Naw, I'm in today until shift change. I'm headed to curtain three."

Eric glanced at the chart and winced. "Good luck with that, man. I skipped over that one on purpose."

"Jerk," came the disgruntled reply.

"Whatevs man, I'll catch you later." Eric strode into the lounge and out of sight, leaving Edward to deal with curtain three.

Several hours later, and only one harrowing case involving an oozing abscess, Edward retreated to the lounge for a few moments respite. He sat down resting his head on the back of the couch while he closed his eyes for a moment.

His Bella would be home in less than a day. He smiled and thought about all the things they were planning. He'd just received word from the hospital in Port Angeles that they wanted to interview him in person. It wasn't his top choice, but it was close to home for both he and Bella. Once they settled in – wherever that ended up being – they could begin the adoption process.

After his fifteen-minute catnap, he headed back out onto the ER floor. When there was a lull in the caseload, he finally got to check the time. It was after three which meant it was after nine for Bella. _Shouldn't she have called by now? _ He thought.

As if she could read his mind across the ocean, his phone rang. One glance at the caller ID told him all he needed to know. With a wide grin he answered, "Hello, beautiful. How was the sightseeing trip?"

Silence stretched over the call and Edward wondered if it had somehow disconnected. He pulled the phone away from his ear and noted that the connection was still good.

"Bella? Baby, you there?"

"_Edouard_? This is Jacob. You need to get here as soon as you can. Bella's been in an accident."

**

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**A/N: I KNOW! I KNOW! You all _so_ want me dead right now (but then I wouldn't be able to finish the story-js). Chapter 17 is almost complete and will be in LJ's amply capable hands shortly. As soon as I have a jump on ch. 18, I will post 17. I know. Just remember to trust me. ;)**

**Translations:**

_**Bisous**__: _Kisses

_**Gare: **_Station (train station in this case)

_**Impressionant: **_Impressive, awesome

_**Absolument**_: Absolutely

_**Ma Belle**__:_My beauty

_**Marché**__ : _Market

_**Vieux Pont**__ : _Old Bridge

_**Cassoulet**_: A rich stew originating in southwest France containing white beans and meat, usually sausage and mutton or duck.

**Schedule II : **category of drugs considered to have a strong potential for abuse or addiction but that also have legitimate medical use. Included are opium, morphine, and cocaine.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Only one week! I'll admit, I was highly motivated to get this chapter finished and ready for posting. So I hope that you will all enjoy it. As always, a big thanks to LJ Summers for her help with this chapter. **

* * *

**Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 17**

Edward was amazed that just a handful of words could bring his entire world crashing down around him. He didn't even care or really realize that it was jerkface _Jacob_ that was, once again, using his wife's cell phone. The only thing that registered was that his reason for existence was injured. That sick, twisting feeling of terror rippled through his body as his adrenaline spiked. Somehow, though, he managed to keep a modicum of composure while standing in the middle of the ER.

"What happened? How bad is she hurt?" His voice was tremulous and low but clear enough to be heard.

"Her scooter hit a bad patch of loose rocks on a turn and she crashed, but it was near the drop off to the bank of the river. It was steep and she rolled down the hill and hit her head on a rock by the edge of the water. She was still asleep when they took her in the ambulance. But they won't tell us anything now since we're not family. I'm so sorry, _Edouard_. Everything was going perfectly until this." To his credit Jacob did sound truly remorseful but that did little to alleviate the frustration and utter fear that paralyzed Edward.

"She had on her helmet, though, right? Her head was protected." She had to be all right. He needed her to be okay. He needed to hear that she had her helmet on.

"I think at some point the chin strap broke and the helmet came off about halfway down the hill. There was a lot of blood, but it didn't take long for the ambulance to get to where we were."

"No, no, no," Edward groaned. "This can't be happening. Where are you? What hospital?" Edward's left hand raked through his hair as he walked stiffly to the reception area. He rummaged around the desk and grabbed a notepad and pen.

"Centre Hospitalier Antoine Gayraud. Carcassonne. You are coming, yes?"

"Yes, I'll be on a plane tonight. Where should I fly into?" Edward scribbled the name of the hospital on the benign piece of paper, nearly tearing a hole in it with the ferocity of his writing.

"Best to get a ticket all the way to Toulouse, then take the train to Carcassonne."

"Keep Bella's cell phone. I'll call if I need more information."

"_À bientôt_."

Edward ended the phone call and immediately went in search of Dr. Garrett. He only had to say that Bella was injured and Dr. G. was waving him out the door, telling him to take as long as he needed and that the ER would muddle through without him.

Only minutes after the call, Edward was running to his car and speeding home to hastily throw a change of clothing into a duffle bag. It wasn't until he was searching for his passport on the messy office desk that everything really hit him. In a fit of aggravation he swept his arms across the top of the desk scattering everything to the floor and letting out a primal scream before falling to his knees.

He needed help. His brain was going in a hundred different directions and he couldn't think of what had to be done or in what order. He reached for his phone and dialed Alice. If anyone could help him right now it would be her. He needed someone to anchor him, because at that moment he felt like he was being tossed in a violent storm of panic and confusion.

"Hey, little brother. What's up?" Alice's voice was light and cheerful as always.

"Alice, it's Bella. She's been hurt. I need to get over there but I…I can't…I don't know what to do first. I…" Edward sniffled loudly and tried to squelch the sob that was building up in his chest, but it was too much.

"Oh my...crap..." Edward could hear Alice taking a deep breath, no doubt trying to control her own reaction to such awful news. No one wants to hear that a loved one is hurt. "First things first, Edward, we need to get you on a plane." Much more successful than he had been, Alice quickly shifted into command mode. "Have you found your passport? I think I remember Bella telling me about putting them in the bottom left drawer, in the small fire safe. Check there first."

"Okay." Edward shuffled on his knees over to the desk and opened the drawer. He could hear Alice tapping away on her computer in the background. After a moment of fidgeting with the lock on the safe, it popped open and there, lying on top of the life insurance policy information, was his passport. "Got it," he said breathlessly shoving the navy blue booklet into his pocket.

"I've got a few options for flights; do you know what city she's in?" Alice asked with business-like efficiency. Edward relayed the information that Jacob had given him and started up his own computer.

First he checked his email Alice had just sent him with all of his flight information. Next he Googled the hospital and tried to figure out how to contact them but even with the page translated into English, he still couldn't tell whom he should contact.

"Next, let's get in touch with the hospital and see if we can get an update on Bella's condition." Again Alice was tapping with hummingbird-like speed on her computer. "Got it. I'm going to do a three-way conference call, okay?"

Boggled by the efficiency with which his sister was operating he flopped back in the office chair and ran a hand roughly through his hair. "Let's just hope we get someone who speaks English," Edward grumbled.

"Oh, Edward, you forget. _Je parle Français._ That's the beauty of four years of high school French and two semesters in Paris."

Edward slapped his forehead in a classic _DUH_ moment. He'd completely forgotten that Alice spoke French. He attempted to wait patiently as Alice set the call up with the hospital, but his leg was not cooperating. After letting it bounce uncontrollably for thirty seconds, he started pacing from the office to the living room to the bedroom and back.

As he walked past the dresser for the third time, he turned abruptly to Bella's jewelry box. Reverently, he plucked out the now-sparkling diamond engagement ring he'd had cleaned, and examined it carefully. The jeweler had checked the settings of the diamonds, steam cleaned the stones and points of attachment, and polished the platinum to a nearly-new shine. Digging through his top drawer he found the black velvet box and placed the ring inside. Once the ring was safely tucked into his pocket, he scooped a few more items into his bag, glanced at his watch and resumed his pacing circuit. After what seemed like hours, Alice finally brought him into the conference call.

"_Bonjour, je m'appelle Alice Cullen-Whitlock, je suis en ligne avec Edouard Cullen, Nous appelons au sujet d'une patiente, Isabella Cullen."__***1**_

Edward admired the ease with which Alice seemed to navigate the conversation. After a few minutes of waiting on hold they were finally connected with one of the treating physicians.

"Allo? This is _Docteur_ Girard. You are the husband of Isabella?" His accent was thick and gravelly, but none of that registered with Edward. He was on a mission for information.

"Yes. Please. How is she? Is she still unconscious? How severe is her head injury? Are there any other injuries? Internal bleeding?" Edward was manic in his questioning of the only source of information he had in regards to Bella's condition.

"_S'il vous plaît, veuillez pardonner mon frère. Il est médecin urgentiste lui aussi et il est très inquiet pour sa femme."__***2**_

"It's no problem. I would be going crazy in his shoes. Isabella is in fair condition. She had a superficial cut on her scalp about three centimeters long. We're still waiting on some blood tests. She was semi-conscious when the ambulance brought her in. She's resting now with the help of some sedatives, but everything is looking positive. I wish I could tell you more but that is all the information I have right now."

Edward blew out a long breath as his mind tried to comprehend the information the doctor had shared. He was going through his own protocol trying to think of anything that might be helpful for the doctor to know.

"She's taking anti-depressants." The declaration was abrupt, but there wasn't anything Edward could do about that. "She also had a concussion about six weeks ago, did they tell you that?"

"Her friends did tell us about the previous head injury, but thank you for telling me about the medication. Is she taking anything else?"

Edward dashed to the medicine cabinet looking for anything that might trigger his memory, but came up empty. "No, not that I can think of."

"Very well. If I can have your number so that I can contact you with any changes to Isabella's condition, that would be helpful."

Edward rattled off his and Alice's phone numbers. "I'll be on a plane tonight, Doctor Girard. I'll be there tomorrow hopefully by mid-day. Please take care of my Bella."

"We will do everything possible to make sure she is comfortable. _Bon voyage_, Monsieur Cullen." Doctor Girard's voice softened into kind understanding, reassuring Edward that Bella would be okay.

After hanging up with the hospital, Alice said, "I'll call mom and dad. Don't forget to put your toiletries in a plastic bag or they'll give you crap at the security check."

"Thank you, Alice - for everything. How much do I owe you for the ticket?" He was pretty sure he would probably choke on whatever figure she told him, but that was inconsequential considering the circumstances.

"Don't worry about that now, Edward. We'll work it out when you get back home with my sister. Now go, or you're going to miss the flight to Boston and then you won't get to France until midnight tomorrow."

"Love you, sis."

"Love you too, little brother."

**. . .**

The whole trip seemed interminable. Never mind the fact that Alice had managed to book a seat in first class on the flight from Boston to Paris, it still took way too long. Edward was jittery and on edge, repelling almost all human contact besides the required pat-downs and scanning of boarding passes. The train ride from Toulouse to Carcassonne was even worse. He sat semi-reclined in the uncomfortable second-class seat, the hand in his pocket turning the ring box over and over in an attempt to distract his mind from worry.

His body was exhausted, but his mind would not allow any rest. He kept going over all of the things he wanted to say to Bella face-to-face; how much he loved and missed her, how sorry he was for being so careless with their marriage, how much he worried about her while she was gone. He wanted to share with her the changes he'd made in his own life and the things he learned from his parents about his childhood. Really, he just wanted to tell his best friend everything she'd missed and he wanted to hear about everything that he'd missed. He was certain that she had plenty of her own stories to share and he craved reestablishing that bond like nothing he'd ever desired before – the connection between soul mates.

Edward had been studying the little _SNCF _regional map showing the route from Toulouse to Montpelier and beyond. As soon as the nasally voice announced they'd arrived in Carcassonne, he shot up out of his seat and bolted down the aisle. He tried not to appear like a pushy, obnoxious, American, but unfortunately that was exactly how he was behaving. He ignored what he presumed to be cusses in French as he pressed through the lobby – making a brief detour to the money exchange booth - to where taxis stood, waiting for their next fare.

He approached a stocky man, cigarette dangling from his lips and a bored expression painted on his face, leaning against a tiny subcompact car with a _Taxi_ placard on the roof. Edward thrust a small piece of paper – the name of the hospital scrawled on it - into the man's unoccupied hands.

"Do you speak English? Do you know this hospital?" Edward was brusque and insistent, immediately putting a scowl on the driver's face.

"I know zis _hôpital. Montez. Allons-y._" Edward tossed his duffle into the open trunk and proceeded to fold his six-foot-two frame into the tiny vehicle. He spent the next ten minutes with a death-grip on the handle of the door as the little car zigged and zagged through the city streets, the driver alternating slamming on the brakes and punching the gas, intermingled, of course, with wild gesticulations out the window and a barrage of what could only be extremely colorful language.

Edward squeezed out of the cab, retrieved his bag and paid the driver, who nearly ran over his toes as the tiny clown car peeled out of the parking area. Edward thought of a few colorful _American_ phrases he could've hurled in the direction of the disappearing vehicle.

He quickly pushed through the entry doors and looked for some kind of desk with an official looking person. Edward approached the information desk and tried to smile. Her responding smile was pinched and came across just as forced as Edward's.

"_Ma femme, Isabella Cullen?_ She's a patient?" Edward tapped his finger nervously on the top of the counter, earning a slightly irritated huff from the woman – Brigitte, according to her name tag.

Edward opened his mouth to speak but snapped it shut as soon as Brigitte held up one skinny, threatening finger, silently warning him with the action to shush. She clicked and tapped on her computer and then looked up at Edward with wary eyes.

"_Vouz avez une carte d'identit__é_?" The speed at which those three – at least he was pretty sure it was three – words came out of Brigitte's mouth left him dumbfounded. He was completely at a loss as to how he should respond. She arched a sharply groomed eyebrow at him and then repeated with exaggerated slowness, "C___arte d'iden-ti-t__é_. Un Passport? Quelque chose avec un photo?"

"My passport! Uh… just a… here!" Edward thrust the document toward the cranky Frenchwoman and resumed his nervous tapping. She looked at it for less than five seconds before handing it back to Edward with a curt nod. Brigitte scribbled a number on a scrap of paper then pointed forcefully first in one direction then a second. She then sat down, effectively dismissing him to try and follow her pantomimes. _Freakin' French and their stupid mimes._

Edward bumbled his way around the corner and took the elevator to the third floor. Glancing at the paper Brigitte had shoved into his hand, he began chanting, "Three-oh-nine, three-oh-nine," as he walked down the hallway. He could feel his heart beat speed up as he passed room 305. His breath came out in short pants as he rushed past room 307. He was close to a nervous breakdown as he stopped short in front of the slightly-ajar door of room 309.

"_Puis-je vous aider?" _A soft voice called from behind him. He turned to find a petite woman in familiar hospital scrubs and white clogs looking at him with a mixture of curiosity and caution.

"Uh…ma femme is Isabella Cullen. She's in 309, right?"

"Ah you must be _Edouard!_" The nurse's deep blue eyes sparkled with delight as she began nodding. "Yes, this is Bella's room. She's resting right now but you can go in. She's been waiting for you."

Again Edward stood like a dummy but for entirely different reasons. First of all, he could understand this woman. He was also struck by the contrast between the friendliness and warmth of this nurse compared with the callousness of Brigitte. Second of all, he was almost as nervous as the day he married Bella. "Is she…" Edward swallowed a lump down and took a deep breath, "Is she okay?"

"She will be. _Allez_." The nurse shooed him closer to the door and went to push it open for him.

"Have you been taking care of her?" Edward asked, stopping her from opening the door with a gentle hand on her arm.

She nodded.

"Thank you…?" Edward trailed off his thanks hoping she'd fill in the blank with her name.

"Danielle. And you are welcome. She is a sweet lady." With that Danielle nodded and pushed open the door.

Edward walked in as quietly as his sneakers allowed him and set his bag down next to a small armoire type thing. When he raised his eyes, he caught his first glimpse of Bella in almost two months and he wanted to cry. She seemed to be sleeping peacefully and the last thing he wanted to do was disrupt the rest her body needed to heal. Her beautiful face was marred by a few scratches on her cheek and an angry bruise on her forehead. Her body was dwarfed in the hospital bed, making her look more injured than she probably was.

Her legs were covered by the blankets, so Edward couldn't tell if there were any injuries to her lower extremities. He traced up her leg to one of her hands. Both palms had bandages on them. _She probably put out her hands to try and break her fall, _he thought. He couldn't help but gently grasp the ends of her fingers, stroking lightly over each fingernail with his thumb.

When he'd ascertained that she was really alive and mostly in one piece, he crumpled to his knees. It was as if the stress of the last eighteen hours or so was the only thing keeping his bones solid. As soon as he saw Bella with his own eyes, he could let go. He rested his head on the edge of her bed, her fingers still carefully cradled in his hand, and shook with silent sobs of relief.

It was only a moment later that he felt the soft pressure of Bella's fingers squeezing back. His gaze snapped up to Bella's watery eyes and his own tears spilled down his cheeks.

"Hey." Bella's voice was rough and scratchy.

"Hey, yourself." Edward's voice was soft. He was already up and moving to the little table that held a cup with a bendy straw and a little pitcher of water. He topped off the cup with fresh water and brought the straw to Bella's lips.

She hummed her thanks and nodded when she was done. Edward set the cup back down and rubbed his hands up and down on the sides of his pants. Very quickly the tension in the room began to grow and push out all the relief that he was feeling before.

"So, what…."

"I'm sorry…"

They both spoke at the same time but Edward deferred to his wife and allowed her to speak first.

"I'm sorry for this mess. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I should be on a stupid plane home right now. Just my ridiculous dumb luck…I should've known…I never should've gotten on the scooter." Bella was getting more and more agitated with each word she spoke, alarming Edward when she hissed in pain and grabbed the side of her head.

"Hey, hey. It's not your fault. Don't get upset about it okay, hon? I know this isn't how you wanted your homecoming to be, but it's kind of out of our hands now, right?" Edward brushed the side of her hair and face, looking for any signs of other trauma or abnormalities.

She sniffed and nodded weakly.

"Were you being reckless or stupid when the crash happened?"

"No."

"Then it wasn't your fault. It could've happened to anyone. And before you say it, I know. It happened to you. But think of it this way: You get to see me a whole…" Edward looked down at his watch, "a whole eight hours earlier than if you'd gotten on the plane to New Hampshire." Edward grinned at his logical reasoning.

"Hmm. There is that." Bella reached up and beckoned Edward closer to her. She lifted her hand and ran it across his stubbly cheek and whispered, "I missed you."

He cupped her face gently between his two hands and leaned his forehead to within a hair's breadth of hers and murmured with closed eyes, "I was so afraid I'd lost you." He let that statement meander and mingle through her thoughts however it would. He didn't bother to label the time frame; whether he meant in general, after the Dr. Livingston incident, or the most recent accident, didn't matter. He just wanted to acknowledge the feeling.

"I'm here. I promise not to leave again." Bella lifted her face, bringing her lips a whisper away from his. As their breathing mingled the electricity and sense of longing and desire began to build. He closed the infinitesimal space between them and pressed his lips softly to hers, sealing their reunion.

The awkward, suffocating tension that had been present just moments ago was replaced by sweet relief and joy. Their kiss was slow and tender, but completely uninhibited. There were no more walls to knock down, no more feelings of shame or inadequacy, just pure love. Edward couldn't remember when kissing his wife had felt so pure and so…well, just so perfect.

If it hadn't been for the gentle knock on her door, they probably would've continued kissing for the better part of the afternoon. Instead, a dark-haired gentleman in full doctor regalia came into the room and paused at the end of the bed, clipboard tucked under his arm. Unembarrassed at being caught kissing his wife, Edward moved only slightly to the side to allow Bella to address their interrupting visitor.

"_Bonjour! _I am Dr. Girard. I have been working with the Emergency doctors who treated you last night. How are you feeling, Isabella?"

"_Mieux, mais pas super."_ The doctor kept eyeing Edward with an interested expression which Bella must have seen. "_Docteur Girard, je vous présente mon mari, Edouard."_ Bella's voice was clear and confident. Not quite as fast as Alice or the desk lady, Brigitte, but it was amazing.

"It's good to meet you _Edouard_. This is the first chance I have had to meet with Isabella while she was awake, so I'm glad you're here too." He was relaxed and genuine. Edward already appreciated his bedside manner very much.

"I'm glad I was able to get here so quickly. So, what can you tell us about Bella's injuries?"

"Well, like I said on the telephone, the cut to her head has been sutured," the doctor lifted a section of hair to reveal a little patch of baldness and a neat row of stitches.

"Now that Bella is awake, she'll be able to help us with any other symptoms she's feeling. There was a little bit of spotting that we'll want to watch, but I can assure you the baby is fine. The abrasions on her hands should heal quickly, just little scrapes really. No broken bones, which is a miracle from the sound of her accident..."

The doctor kept rambling on and on about nonsense when really the only thing that mattered was what he'd said first. Edward, for the umpteenth time that day, was left speechless. It was Bella that halted the physician's litany of meaningless words.

"Stop! What do you mean _the baby is fine_?"

* * *

**A/N: I know. Another sort of cliffie. BUT it's a happy one right? I know there were many who guessed, and I did try to throw you off, but it's not uncommon to experience bleeding like that in the first few months. In fact, it happened to me, but I knew I was pregnant and thought I was miscarrying. Scared me to death, but everything turned out fine. They never could figure out what caused the bleeding. And, YES. Chapter 18 is on it's way to _La Beta Extraordinaire._ I'd love to hear your thoughts about this new development!**

**Translations:**

**À bientôt: **See you soon**  
**

***1: **Hi, I'm Alice Cullen-Whitlock, I also have Edward Cullen here. We are calling about a patient, Isabella Cullen?

***2: **Please forgive my brother. He's also an ER doctor and is very concerned about his wife.

**Bon voyage: **Good journey/trip

**SNCF: **Société Nationale des Chemins de fer Français, French National Railways.

**hôpital. Montez. Allons-y: **hospital. Get in. Let's go.

**Ma femme, Isabella Cullen: **My wife, Isabella Cullen

**Vouz avez un _carte d'identit__é_? / Un Passport? Quelque chose avec un photo? : **Do you have Identification? / A passport? Something with a photo?

**Puis-je vous aider: **Can I help you?

**Allez: **Go

**Mieux, mais pas super:** Better, but not great

**Docteur Girard, je vous présente mon mari, Edouard: **Doctor Girard, this is my husband, Edward.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Another relatively quick update! Hope you're all enjoying the story still. Yes, we are getting close to the end of the road for these two (soon to be three.) **

**In case you're interested, the song that drove me last chapter was the song by Nickelback titled **_**Far Away. **_**(Link is on my profile)**

**Big thanks to LJ Summers for her generous beta skills and to BellaMadonna for pre-reading and all her support!**

* * *

**Come Back to Me**

**Chapter 18**

"_Stop! What do you mean_ _**the baby is fine**_?"

It had to be the bump on her head that was making her hear things; things that were impossible and ridiculous. Edward's hand gripped her shoulder a little tighter than before, easing her body back to its reclining position.

"I mean your baby. You are pregnant, no?"

"Uh…NO! I just had my period a couple weeks ago and we haven't been intimate in two months. I…it's just…No. It's not possible. I can't conceive. The doctors said that there was only a…"

"Only a thirty to forty percent chance that you could conceive naturally," Edward said, as he smoothed his hands over Bella's shoulders and up to her cheeks. "That means it's not impossible." His eyes were shining with emotion; and was that _hope_ there, too?

"But then," her eyebrows pinched together in confusion, "why did I have a period?" She was not going to allow herself to get worked up over something that, at this point, was still very much theoretical in her mind.

"We cannot say for sure, but the blood work, as well as the ultrasound, confirms that you are, in fact, pregnant."

"Dr. Girard, can you bring an ultrasound machine in so that we can see for ourselves?" Edward's voice was light but full of the confidence and authority that came from being in his element.

"Of course. _Bien sûr. _I'll be back in a few moments."

Bella was hardly aware of the doctor leaving. Her mind was in complete chaos, trying to understand how she possibly could've had a period and still be pregnant. It just didn't make sense. She could feel her lip quivering and the tightness in her eyes and cheeks that came just before the tears.

"Don't cry, sweetheart. This is a good thing. This is a very good thing." Edward had situated himself on the bed facing Bella holding both her hands which had become limp with shock.

"Do you think it's possible?" Somehow that sneaky little seed of hope had started to take root in her mind and she couldn't help but imagine the possibilities.

"The blood tests are pretty accurate. How have you been feeling? Any nausea? Tiredness?" He ran the pad of his thumb over Bella's forehead and around behind her ear, sending a frisson of excitement through her body.

While the questions were all very typical of _Dr. Cullen_, the concerned tone of voice and the love shining through his features let her know that it was actually _her Edward_ that was asking.

Bella closed her eyes and leaned back on the inclined hospital bed, her hands still curled around Edward's, mulling over all the different physical symptoms she might've overlooked. "I've had a little nausea, but I chalked it up to bad seafood I'd eaten the night before. And I suppose I've been feeling a little bit more tired than usual, but I figured that was from all the sightseeing we've been doing and from standing up for so long in the kitchen at school." She opened her soft, brown eyes and looked directly into Edward's green ones. "I never even dreamed about the possibility that it could be anything different. But that still doesn't explain the bleeding."

Edward glanced down at their clasped hands and seemed to be in deep thought before he said anything. Then, he looked at her, expression sober but not grim. "There are a number of things that could cause bleeding early on in a pregnancy. Let's wait and see what the ultrasound shows before we talk too much more about it, okay?"

"Okay." Bella sat up, wincing a little with the soreness that came from rolling and tumbling down a hill. Her ribs were a bit tender, and her shoulder throbbed as well. She was probably due for another pain pill soon, but they made her feel thick-headed and sleepy, and she didn't want to be in such an altered state while Edward was there.

"When was the last time they gave you something for pain?" Edward asked, probably having noticed her grimace.

She grumbled a bit under her breath, "Stupid, mind-reading doctor people," and then sighed in frustration. She didn't like being injured. She liked even less having to take medication that made her feel loopy.

"I'll call for one after the ultrasound. I don't want to be knocked out again when they do it." That was the only thing Bella could work out in her mind: She must have been unconscious when they did the first ultrasound because she had absolutely no recollection of the procedure.

Just as she finished speaking, Dr. Girard knocked twice and wheeled in the cart with the ultrasound machine on it. After plugging it in and allowing the computer to boot up, he started pressing buttons and typing her information into the system.

"_Bon._ Shall we take a look at your little _bébé_?"

"Yes, please!" Edward said eagerly. Bella was a bit more reserved in nodding her assent. She was still nervous about allowing herself to get sucked into the dream too quickly. But if she was really and truly honest with herself, she'd plunged headlong into that dream as soon as the doctor said the word _bébé._

Edward took his seat next to Bella and grasped her hand. Once the blankets were arranged to expose her stomach, the doctor applied the blue gel to her abdomen and began pressing the wand around in a small circle.

Bella glanced at the monitor but couldn't appreciate anything more than staticky-looking fuzz. Edward, on the other hand, was glued to the black and white screen. He was staring with rapt attention and Bella was staring, transfixed, at him. When he gasped she turned sharply to the monitor as well.

"_Là! Vous voyez_? The doctor pointed to a little whitish kidney-bean-shaped blob on the screen. He zoomed in for a closer look an in the middle of that little bean was a tiny little spot that appeared to be fluttering.

"That's the heart beating," murmured Edward into Bella's ear.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered. Just then a loud _whoosh whoosh whoosh_ echoed through the room. With each thump of that teeny tiny heart, her own filled with such a wide range of emotions she was sure it would burst at any moment. She turned to look at her husband, tears spilling down her cheeks as she choked out a sobbing, "I…I'm...pr…preg…nant."

Edward squeezed Bella's hand tightly and pressed a kiss to her temple. "We're gonna have a baby."

They were both over the moon with the visual confirmation of Bella's pregnancy; their face-splitting grins showed no sign of dimming. Edward explained to Bella what the doctor was doing as he took some measurements and made a few notations. Dr. Girard then began pressing the wand a little lower and swirling it around the same place a few times.

"Well, it's most likely that the accident caused the spotting but it is unclear what may have caused the bleeding you had a few weeks ago. It was probably decidual tissue."

"What is that?" Bella asked, looking directly at Edward, giving him permission with her eyes to assume the role of _Dr. Cullen._

"Really it's just a hormonally stimulated collection of menstrual-like tissue that can often be confused with a miscarriage or a heavy period," Edward explained. His expression was guarded but still held a light of confidence and surety.

Bella's continued to stare at him blankly and then raised her eyebrows in question.

"Um, basically just some extra blood and tissue that's not related to the pregnancy. Since it's pretty clear from the ultrasound that the heart is beating and everything else looks okay, there's probably nothing to worry about," he restated in terms slightly more understandable.

Nodding, Bella whispered, "Okay," drawing strength from Edward's knowledge.

Dr. Girard was still tapping on the computer attached to the ultrasound machine when he said, "We'll keep you here for one more night, just to make sure you are well enough to go home, but I would recommend staying here in France and resting for a few more days. When you return home to the United States, make sure you see your doctor there to discuss the best plan of action for you and your _bébé_."

"I'm sure Angela and…Oh my gosh! I need to call Angela. She's probably worried sick. I was supposed to be home last night and the airport and all my stuff is still there at the Chêniers apartment. Where's my phone?" Bella's panic was evident as her head turned from side to side, looking desperately around the room for her cell phone.

"Calm down, hon. I think Jacob still has it. He's the one who called me."

"Oh," her body relaxed as she took in that bit of information. As she thought further about the implications of Jacob calling Edward she said, "I'm sorry. That probably didn't go over very well, huh?"

"It got me to you. That's all that matters. I'll give him a call as soon as Dr. Girard is finished."

They both looked at the doctor who was printing out several still images from the ultrasound. He tore the long strip off of the printer and handed them to Edward. "All finished!" declared Doctor Girard, as he wiped the gel off of Bella's stomach and pulled the blanket up to her waist. "So, Bella, tonight you rest, monitor if there is any more bleeding and hopefully tomorrow we can release you."

"Thank you for everything, Doctor." Edward stood and shook Doctor Girard's hand.

"It was my pleasure. I'll send in the nurse with some pain relief, yes?"

Bella sighed a doleful, "_Oui_," with a chagrined look on her face. Doctor Girard nodded once and left the room quietly. Edward pulled his phone out and dialed Bella's number.

"Uh, Jacob? It's Edward. Can you bring Bella's phone to the hospital? Yeah. Room 309. Okay. Thanks." He was by her side, holding her hand, as soon as he disconnected the call.

"I still can't believe it." Bella said, looking out the window at the rapidly darkening sky.

"I know. It's not really sinking in yet." Edward also seemed to be lost in thought, though his eyes never strayed from her face.

She turned her gaze away from the window and smiled at him. Exhaustion radiated from his slumped posture to the circles under his eyes. But his smile was bright, and if he was wiped out, he said nothing about it to her. A knock sounded on the door and Bella called out a gentle, "_Entrez_," admitting Nurse Danielle into the room. She handed the small paper cup with the pain pill to Bella while Edward brought the cup of water closer to her reach.

"_Merci_, Danielle." Bella smiled kindly at the gentle nurse before returning to a reclined position.

"_De rien_, Bella. Have a good rest." Danielle grinned and winked at Edward as she backed out of the room.

Bella picked up the folded sheet of ultrasound pictures and began examining them more closely. She couldn't help the wide grin that drew her lips up to what felt like her eyebrows as she looked at their little bean. _I wonder when the due date is?_ The thought occurred to her. She'd been so shocked she hadn't done a very good job at following what Doctor Girard was saying during the ultrasound.

"Edward, did doctor Girard mention when the due date was?" Bella stroked through Edward's messy hair. He had leaned forward, folding his arms on top of the bed and resting his chin on one of his fists.

"I think he said second week of February. He said that it looked like the fetus was measuring at about nine to ten weeks." His eyes were closed so he didn't see the furrowed brow or the frown that she wore.

"Baby."

"Huh?" Edward opened his eyes and immediately frowned at the dismayed look on his wife's face.

"Please don't use words like fetus or embryo or whatever. It sounds too harsh. This is our _baby. _Fetus just sounds too clinical; like it's not a real person, just a thing."

Edward was quiet for a moment before responding, "You're right. Baby it is," he replied. He closed his eyes once more and returned to his resting posture.

Bella started counting back the weeks trying to think of exactly when she might've gotten pregnant. "Oh!" she exclaimed.

"Hm?" Edward hummed, his eyes still closed.

"Edward this...this happened the night before I left."

Slowly, he sat up and rubbed his eyes. His smile was colored with a hint of sadness when he said, "Yeah, I guess it did." He brought her hand to his lips and placed a soft, lingering kiss to her knuckles.

He'd asked her that night to just let him _love _her. Despite all of the hurt and struggle they were having at that time, this child was still created in love. She'd suspended all of the heartache and sadness - they both had, really - and just loved each other like they hadn't done in a very long time. Knowing their baby was created that night, added a whole new meaning to that point in their marriage.

Edward stretched and let out a long yawn. Bella was about to suggest he use the reclining chair to get some sleep when she heard the light tapping on the door. Edward stood and moved to Bella's side so they could see who was coming in.

A second _entrez_ from Bella brought Jacob and Ness into her room. They, too, looked tired and disheveled. Carmen and Lee came shuffling in right behind them in no better state of dress or alertness. Carmen's eyes were bright with tears as she skirted around the bed and leaned in to give Bella a tender, almost motherly hug. "We've been so worried about you, honey!"

"I'm okay. They said I could probably leave tomorrow. I just need to get a hold of Angela, she's probably worried sick."

"Ah, _oui_. She called and we explained about the accident. She said to call her when you were ready and that you were more than welcome to stay with them if you needed to." As he relayed the message Jacob looked almost shy and unsure, which was a complete contrast to his usual gregarious nature. Bella noticed, though, that he kept shooting side glances at Edward, probably trying to gauge his reaction to Jacob's interfering with Bella's phone - again.

It took a moment but finally Bella realized that _everyone_ was looking at Edward. Shaking her head she glanced back at Edward and beamed. "Everyone? This is my husband, Edward."

They all took turns shaking hands and introducing themselves, though Edward had probably learned enough from his chats and emails with Bella that he behaved as though he already knew them. He saved shaking Jacob's hand for last, though, gripping it firmly.

For a moment there was a tense battle of wills going on. A significant look seemed to pass between the two men before they both nodded and the stepped away from each other.

When Edward was standing as close to Bella as the hospital bed would allow, he cleared his throat and said, "Thank you - all of you - for helping Bella." He paused and took a deep breath and looked down at his wife. "You have no idea how much it means to me to know that she had such good friends here."

The exhaustion of the last 24 hours was wearing down the strong front Edward had been putting on. While he had shown himself vulnerable to Bella, he'd managed - up until now - to keep calm and collected with others. But now, as a glassy tear dribbled down his face and his voice shook, his soul was bared to everyone. He swiped at the errant drop with the back of his hand and leaned over to place a kiss on Bella's cheek.

A slight gasp caught both Edward and Bella's attention. Carmen's gaze was fixated on the strip of photographs that were still lying in Bella's lap. She pointed and started wagging her finger excitedly.

"Are those…Are you?" She was gasping and sputtering leaving Lee, Jacob, and Ness completely perplexed.

When Bella nodded that Carmen was right, the squeal she let loose could probably be heard all the way to Italy. "Oh my dear! Really?"

"Really," Bella smiled as a new batch of tears ran down her face.

"What is it?" Jacob asked, only slightly irritated that he was in the dark.

Ness elbowed his gut and whispered, "_Bella est enceinte, idiot," _glaring at him for missing the obvious.

"Eh?" Jacob was more confused now than ever.

Ness then jabbed her finger toward the little black and white photos. "Those are pictures of the _bébé_," she whispered again.

"_Je ne vois rien. _It's just a white spot," Jacob retorted, squinting further at the photos.

Ness shook her head looking murderous at the density of her boyfriend, while Bella began to chuckle. "It's okay, Ness. It looks like a little white bean to me, too."

The foursome stayed for a few minutes longer, discussing trains and buses and what would be the best way to get Bella back to Agde. Edward informed them of his plan to rent a car, so the visiting friends decided it would be okay for them to return back to Agde that evening.

While Edward was using the bathroom to clean up and change into his sweats, Bella called Angela and gave her the short version of what was happening. Everything, that was, except the baby news. She wanted to share that in person. Yawning and stretching as best she could despite the soreness of her muscles, she tried to close her eyes, but her brain was still turning. Even though the pain pill had started to kick in, making her sleepy, she still couldn't shut her thoughts off. She huffed and threw the covers back.

"Edward, hon, I need your help to the bathroom again."

He jumped up and cheerfully helped Bella to the bathroom and waited patiently as she washed what she could of her face and neck. She combed her fingers through her tangled hair, not having brought her brush on the excursion. She was greatly relieved when she'd found no additional spotting or bleeding. Once she was tucked into bed, she finally felt like she could sleep, though there was one little thought that wouldn't be silenced.

"Edward?" Bella's voice shook with nervousness.

"What is it, Love? Do you need something?" He sat up from the recliner, looking at her with concern.

"I'm scared."

He was quiet for a moment, then shrugged off the thin, green hospital blanket and stood up. He brushed his hand over the uninjured side of Bella's head and settled down on the bed to face her. As he nodded, he drew her forward into an encapsulating embrace and whispered, "I am too."

* * *

**A/N: So we've got two more chapters and an epi. Let me know what you think. Last chapter we tied the record for chapter reviews. Thanks so much for reading!**

**Translations**

_**Bébé : **_Baby

**Là! Vous voyez**?: There! You see?

**Entrez: **Come in, enter

**Merci/De Rien: **Thank you/You're welcome

**Bella est enceinte, idiot: **Bella is pregnant, idiot

**Je ne vois rien: **I don't see anything


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hello wonderful readers! An update…FINALLY. I know. We had spring break and took an insane 1700 mile road trip, and while I did take my laptop, nothing got written. Throw on top of that ridiculous writers block. But after a determined effort, I was able to get these two talking to me again. It's shorter than usual, but I was threatened with bodily harm if I added anything else. **

**Big thanks to Roselover for pre-reading, and LJ Summers for beta'ing this sucker in record time. Please enjoy.**

* * *

**Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 19**

They had both admitted to being scared, though their reasons were probably different. Nothing else needed to be said, though, as they remained wrapped in each other's arms. Bella shifted slightly over in bed to make room for Edward as they lay down and finally found rest.

The next morning, they visited with the doctor who had taken over for Dr. Girard. He looked at Bella's chart and asked a few questions about how she was feeling. He didn't seem quite as engaged in her case as Dr. Girard had, but she didn't mind. She did perk up when he said that she would be released at eleven. Edward gathered Bella's things in a plastic bag as she wrote a _Thank You_ note for Nurse Danielle. He squeezed her shoulder as he watched her finish writing and then signed his name to the note, as well. They'd leave it at the nurse's station on their way out. Seeing first-hand the kind of care a good nurse provided had Edward resolving to be more appreciative of the nurses he worked with.

After providing all of their insurance and contact information, Bella was released with little fanfare. Once they'd sorted out their rental car, they were on their way back to Agde. Edward was dutifully following the driving instructions from the desk agent at the rental company, but kept shooting not-so-secret glances in Bella's direction.

She wore a contented expression as she sat slightly reclined in the matchbox-sized hatchback.

"Why the smile?" he asked.

"I don't know. It's just different seeing the country from the highway as opposed to the train. It's nice to get a different view." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled at him.

"It's weird. Even the freeway feels _foreign_. You know? The signs are all different, the cars are different. I'm just glad I'm not driving on the wrong side of the road." He chuckled and reached for her hand.

She sighed and relaxed further into the seat as his strong fingers curled around hers. "I'm excited for you to meet Angela and Ben. I think I got really lucky as far as host families go."

"I can't wait to meet them. It sounds like they took good care of you."

"They've both become really good friends. And their little girl, Janie? She is a pistol, but so cute. We didn't quite get along at first, but now we're like this." Bella held up her crossed fingers, indicating how closely the little girl had wrapped herself around Bella's heart.

The drive seemed to fly by and sooner than he'd expected, Edward was trying to find a parking space close to the Chêniers building.

Bella hadn't even taken her key out of the lock when the door to the apartment flew open. "Bella! Oh, Bella. You poor thing. _Viens ici, ma chérie_." The woman – Angela, Edward presumed - examined the bruise on Bella's forehead and the stitches that were visible on her scalp. Recognition lit up on the the woman's face and she said, "Oh! And you must be Edouard. Come in, please." Angela ushered them inside, one arm secured tightly around Bella's shoulders.

Angela was a gracious hostess and brought some cold drinks out for everyone. She and Bella both settled on the couch in a way that made it obvious that this was not the first time they'd had a chat in such a position. Thankfully, Bella had left just enough space between herself and the arm of the couch that Edward was able to scoot in behind her. He rested one arm over the back of the couch and wrapped the other around Bella's midsection, unconsciously covering her stomach.

With little prompting, Bella launched into the details of the accident - or as many as she could remember. Edward filled in a few of the gaps, all the while rubbing small circles over Bella's tummy. The action seemed to have caught Angela's attention because her gaze kept dropping down to where Edward's hand rested every so often.

"But it wasn't until Edward got there that the doctor told us that I'm…"

"Pregnant!" Angela whisper-shouted, clasping her hands together in front of her heart.

"How did you know?"

"It was just a guess. Ben used to do that all the time when I was pregnant with Alec." Angela pointed toward Bella's stomach. Edward stilled his hand, mildly embarrassed at having been caught fondling his wife's stomach. "Oh, Bella. I am so happy for you."

The two women shared an entire conversation using only their eyes and facial expressions. Angela opened her arms and Bella fell into them like a long-lost sister. Edward couldn't hear the murmured exchange but felt a renewed sense of protectiveness over Bella when she withdrew, tears staining her cheeks.

"Angela, would it be okay if we went and lay down for a bit?" Edward's voice was tentative but determined. He needed to have Bella in his arms, with no interruptions.

"Of course! Bella's room is still hers for as long as you need."

"Thank you, Angela, for everything," Bella said with sleepy smile.

**. . .**

Once travel arrangements were made for their return home, Bella and Edward spent their remaining time simply enjoying each other. They went to all of Bella's haunts: Mme. Toussaint's _boulangerie_, the park where the old men played their _boules_, they even walked all the way down to the marina. It was one of the last excursions on her list of things she wanted to see. It was an added bonus that she could check it off while holding Edward's hand.

They walked side-by-side, fingers twined together, along the quay. The pathway was shaded by large mimosa trees, their puffy flowers scenting the warm air with a distinct fragrance. Finally, they reached the edge of the sandy beach. Bella toed off her flats and started to bend down to pick them up but Edward was quicker and picked them up before she could. He untied his sneakers and gathered them into the same hand as her shoes. He straightened up and reclaimed her hand tugging her toward the water's edge.

There were still a number of people on the beach, enjoying the last sultry moments of the day. The sun was low, just barely kissing the horizon, but it still warmed their skin with its orangey-red glow. By unspoken mutual consent, they walked a little further down the beach to a more secluded area. They weren't alone, but they were far enough away that no one could intrude on their privacy.

Edward plopped himself gracelessly onto the sand and beckoned for Bella to sit between his legs. Smiling, she held his hand and settled down with her back resting on his chest. She dug her toes into the warm sand just far enough to where she found a cool spot in the grit.

The water washed in and out creating a lulling rhythm that had Bella nearly comatose. He delighted in the weight of her relaxed body taking strength from him. It made him feel useful and proud that she was leaning on him; trusting him. It was, he admitted to himself, positively primeval. But then he'd already come to terms with the fact that he was, at his most basic, nothing more than a caveman.

"Will you miss it?" he asked in a low, breathy voice. When he felt the shudder tremble through his wife's body, he had to resist the urge to puff his chest in pride that he could still elicit that kind of response from her.

She was quiet, seeming to genuinely consider her response. "Parts of it, yes. Others, not so much."

"Tell me."

"I'll miss the people I've met here. Mme. Toussaint always asks me what new words I've learned when I stop in at the _boulangerie._ Ben and Angela have both been, just…amazing. I'd heard of so many horror stories of people winding up with awful host families, but the Chêniers have been exactly what I needed. And don't even get me started on Carmen and Lee. Carmen was the next best thing to having my mom here."

It had been years since Bella mentioned her mother. He really couldn't imagine how much she must have been missing her mom, especially now that they'd found out about the baby.

"I wish your folks were still with us. It doesn't seem quite complete, not being able to tell them about Bean," he said.

The soft sniffle told him all he needed to know. He didn't need to see her face to know that tears were brimming. With each day that they'd been together, their connection grew stronger and stronger. They were almost back to that point six months into their marriage when they could practically read each other's mind.

Silence stretched between them as Bella got control of her emotions. "Your parents are going to freak out, huh?"

"They all know about the infertility." He felt her body stiffen slightly at the matter-of-fact statement.

"I thought we'd agreed we weren't going to say…"

"I think that was a mistake, Bella. My parents have gone through almost the same things we've gone through. They could've helped; been there more for both of us. But I let my stupid pride get in the way. I...I was so wrong about so many things."

That seemed to surprise Bella as she leaned away and turned around to face her husband. She brought her legs over top of his, not quite wrapping them around his waist, just resting comfortably over his thighs. "What do you mean?"

He went on to explain _all_ of the things he'd learned from talking with his parents. He shared all of his misconceptions that led to the distance between him and his family, the nascent positive outlook on his relationship with his parents, but most importantly, he apologized.

"Why?" Her brow puckered in confusion.

"Because I deprived you of those relationships, too. Don't think I didn't notice that you called my mom less and less as the years went on. Especially after we got the news from the doctors." He reached up and stroked his finger softly along her jaw. He ignored how the bruising on her forehead was now draining under her eyes, giving her a raccoon-like appearance. She was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever known.

"I'm sorry, too."

"And what are you sorry about?"

"I don't think I ever really considered your feelings about not being able to conceive. Angela helped me to see things from a different point of view. I think I was so wrapped up in my own sadness and guilt that I didn't even stop to think that you were just as involved and invested as I was."

He took a deep breath and drew his arms tighter around her torso, pulling her into his chest. He dropped a soft peck on her head which fit perfectly under his chin. They always just…fit. He loosened his grip and looked down into her eyes. "I wanted to be strong for you. I…it killed me to see you so broken. But it did affect me. I was angry at how unfair it was that I couldn't give you what you wanted, that we couldn't create that perfect little person together. I just wanted to be there for you, but I couldn't even do that right. Why didn't you let me in?"

"I…I don't know." Her eyes dropped down to his chest as she ran her hands over his forearms. He relished in the feeling and reciprocated with lazy circles over her low back. "I think mostly I was scared that you wouldn't want me anymore. Or that I'd just become a case to you, some medical mystery you felt obligated to solve because we were married."

The last admission punched through his gut, leaving him feeling hollow. He'd had no idea how much his inability to separate _Dr. Cullen_ and _Edward_ had affected her. He tilted his head back and pinched his eyes shut, just trying to get a handle on the self-loathing that was starting to overwhelm his senses. Before he could get too deep into the mire, he felt a soft touch on his cheek.

"You've gotten a lot better at not getting all _doctor-y_ with me. I've noticed how hard you're trying." Her warm smile brought him further back from the edge and he leaned down to kiss her. Their lips slanted together in the well-practiced dance of familiar lovers. Her arms slid around his chest and brought her even closer as they tilted and nibbled and tasted each other. The last little arc of sun shimmered on the Mediterranean Sea as they broke apart.

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

"I did," she whispered, her voice tremulous and emotional.

Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out the box from the jewelers that contained Bella's engagement ring. He lifted the lid and turned it to her. She gasped, no doubt admiring the restored sparkle and brilliance of the ring that she had always described as, "the most perfect ring, ever."

"Then, come back to me." He slipped the ring on to her shaking finger and poured all the love he possessed into another kiss.

* * *

**A/N: One more chapter and a short epilogue to go. I love hearing from all of you, drop me a little love with that review button!**

**Translations:**

_Viens ici, chérie _: Come here, sweetheart

_Boules_: A game like bocce ball, also known as petanque


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hello my wonderful readers! This is your tissue warning. I don't cry too often when I read or write, but this chapter got me a little misty-eyed. **

**Thank you so much to BellaMadonna for her help with this chapter and for Katmom's willingness to pinch hit for LJ while she has family in town. You wouldn't be getting this chapter until after the weekend were it not for these two wonderful ladies!**

**I love hearing all your thoughts! **

* * *

**Come Back To Me**

**Chapter 20**

"You okay, hon?" Edward's voice was laced with concern. Bella was pretty sure his face would be full of the same, but as her head was bent over an airsick bag, she couldn't confirm her suspicion. They were on approach into Logan International Airport and were experiencing turbulence rough enough to rival a seven-point-oh earthquake.

Before she knew she was pregnant, she hadn't really paid any attention to the fleeting waves of nausea. She'd always chalked it up to something she ate not agreeing with her. Now that she knew better, Bella was hyper-aware of all the changes in her body – including every little roil of her stomach.

The Captain's voice crackled over the loudspeaker, announcing they'd been cleared to land. Bella tried to sit up but another jarring bump doubled her over again. Edward held on to her waist, steadying her as best he could until they'd finally touched down and slowed to taxiing speed.

Bella burst through the door almost as soon as the flight attendant opened it. Everyone in the first class cabin had been privy to her dry heaves and so no one stood in her way as she dashed down the aisle, leaving Edward to collect all of their belongings from the overhead bin.

Edward strolled through the door of the jet way as calm as you please, and sat down next to his wife. Her face was still a bit pale, but at least she didn't look green anymore. Wordlessly he handed her a can of ginger ale. She popped the top and took a few tentative sips, finally relaxing into the seat.

"I'm never flying again. Ever."

"So when we move back to Washington you're going to endure a week of driving in a moving van with me?" He raised one cocky eyebrow.

She hadn't thought that far ahead in her plans to renounce air travel all together. "Is there something that will knock me out and get rid of the nausea that's still safe for the baby?" She wasn't too proud to make good use of her husband's pharmaceutical knowledge.

He chuckled and shook his head. "I'm sure we'll think of something if need be. Besides, my residency isn't over for another couple months. By then you should be over the morning sickness." A quick peck on the cheek and he was standing again, looping her messenger bag over his shoulder.

"Come on. Let's get out of here. We still have a long drive home and I have to introduce you to our new car."

**. . .**

Bella walked around the Honda Accord noting that while it was far from perfect with all the little scratches and nicks that come with having been driven around for ten years, it was still in pretty good shape.

The interior smelled clean, the carpets were freshly shampooed, even the upholstery was mostly without blemish. All in all, Edward had done a really good job at choosing a car that she would feel comfortable driving. He'd rattled off the JD Power rating and all the safety and reliability ratings he'd researched.

"So? What do you think? You're killing me here with the no talking." Edward had his hands shoved into the pockets of his cargo shorts and was shifting nervously from side to side. "You hate it don't you?" His head dropped before she'd had a chance to respond.

"Edward, it's exactly right. I know it's not your dream car, nor is it mine for that matter, but it's perfect for what we need right now. Thank you for making this sacrifice."

"I would do anything for you. I'm just sorry it took you leaving me to get me to see that." He leaned down and pecked her on the lips a few times before opening the door and waving with a flourish. "Your chariot awaits, m'lady."

It was impossible for Bella to stifle the giggle that broke free as she settled herself into the passenger seat. After Edward was finished loading the bags into the trunk, he slid into the driver seat and turned to his wife. "Ready?"

"Yup. Let's go home."

**. . .**

Armed with two cardboard boxes, Bella marched into Banner and Cope and sailed past the reception desk. She smiled cordially to the people who bothered to pop their heads over the cubicle walls to say hello.

She dropped the boxes off in her cubbyhole-with-a-door and wound her way through the corporate furniture maze to Doug Banner's office. The few moments Bella had to wait in between when Banner's personal secretary buzzed him on the intercom and when she was admitted into his inner sanctum – the garishly decorated office covered with tacky, plastic bowling trophies and a stupid, fake singing fish – seemed too short and, at the same time, too long.

"Bella! How'd you enjoy your vacation? You look great, by the way. Guess that tropical sun did you some good?" He licked his cracked lips and ran a sweaty hand over his barely-there-hair, his shiny pate peeking through the stringy strands. At least he didn't go the toupee route, though that didn't lessen his ickiness quotient by any degree.

"Uh…it was great. Thanks." She kept her distance, wanting to avoid physical contact at all costs.

"So, I've got a few projects that have been piling up for you. Didn't think I could trust Newton with the job, you know?" She was pretty sure she saw some kind of projectile hurtling away from Banner's nose as he guffawed and snorted in a _wink wink nudge nudge_ kind of way. They'd never been chummy and his banter was bordering on the disturbing.

"Yeah, about that. I..." She pulled the envelope from her pocket and slid it, long ways, across Banner's desk.

"What's this?" he asked, his tobacco-stained smile faltering slightly.

"It's my resignation," she hedged, "effective immediately."

"But…you can't…we just…I," he spluttered.

"Doctor's orders. I'm sorry, but I can't subject myself to stressful situations. I'll be cleaning my desk out and I'll make sure to return my key card and office key to HR."

He glanced over the letter and scowled. At least she'd had her OB/GYN write the note instead of Edward; that probably would've gone over a lot worse. As it was, Banner blustered and fussed for a few more minutes before he grudgingly bid her farewell.

She spent the next hour emptying her office of all the personal effects she'd collected over the years. The last addition to the second box was her faithful Phil. The little philodendron plant that had started out with just a few leaves, now coiled around the top of the box at least three or four times.

Bella was on her way back from the car for her second box when she ran into Mike. Literally. She was lucky she didn't fall over backward from the way she'd bounced off of his corpulent midsection. She quickly tried to sidestep him, but he blocked her path.

"So, I hear you're quitting, Bella. Is it true?" He was standing in her bubble; close talking to the point where she could smell the cinnamon gum he smacked in order to cover up the fact that he'd taken a few nips of something from the flask he had hidden in his desk.

"Yes, Mike. It's true. If you'll excuse me, I was just on my way to get my last box of stuff."

"Maybe you and I could have a private going-away-party?" He grinned in that slimy, lascivious way that made her skin crawl.

His pudgy fingers had only just barely brushed her shoulders, but for Bella enough was enough. She thrust her hands up and out, knocking his meaty paws away from her body, then planted her own hands on his upper arms and rammed her knee into his groin. Once again the field of prairie dog heads popped up over the edges of all the cubicle walls just in time to see Newton crumple into a whimpering heap of man _Jello_.

"I warned you, Mike." As she moved to step over him, he curled up even more like a potato bug expecting to be squashed. She shook her head in exasperation and continued past the whispers and slack-jawed looks. She felt fresh and free and just a little bit pleased with herself. After hefting her box, she shut the door to her office and looked back toward the elevator. Jessica was huddled over a still-writhing Mike, so Bella opted to take the long way around to the other set of elevators.

Just before turning the corner out of sight, Jessica caught Bella's eye. If it were possible, Jessica would've melted Bella with her imagined super-powered heat vision, but since that was a ridiculous notion, Bella mouthed the words, "He's all yours," and blew an air kiss for good measure.

She was inordinately happy as she popped the trunk and stowed her things. One of the more unhappy portions of her life was closed and she didn't even have the desire to look back.

**. . .**

They were almost done. Edward only had a week left before he was finished with his residency. He tromped up the stairs, exhausted from another long shift and smiled when he found Bella asleep on the couch with her slightly swollen feet propped up on a pillow, a pregnancy book lying across her chest.

He sat down on the floor in front of the couch and leaned his head back just far enough so that it rested lightly on her slightly swollen belly. She hummed, her eyes still closed and brought her arm down over his shoulder, scratching his pectoral muscle with lazy strokes. He felt her shift to her side and leaned up and back, searching for her lips.

When their noses slid gently across one another, she cracked her eye opened and puckered up. He turned and wrapped his arms around her shoulder and captured her lips in a smooth embrace. Their relationship had improved drastically over the last two months, despite the fact that Edward had begun training again. Things between them weren't quite effortless, but then if they'd learned anything it's that it never would be without effort.

"Sorry, I fell asleep. There's some dinner for you in the oven." She stretched her legs and propped her head up on one hand.

"I smelled it when I came in, but you looked way more delicious than food," he teased.

"Mmmm," she closed her eyes again, a mischievous smile gracing her lips. She reached up and stretched again with a groan. "I'm so tired. Like, all the time."

"It'll pass in a month or two."

"Yeah, we'll see."

"You still throwing up?"

"No, not really. Only when I brush my teeth too far back. Now it's mostly the fatigue that's getting to me. I did pack a few more boxes in the office, though."

He growled. She knew she was not supposed to do any of that. "Bella," he cautioned.

"I know. Calm down. It was mostly just desk stuff and it wasn't heavy." She gave him a gentle shove when his scowl didn't abate. "It has to get done by someone. You've still got a week left and then we have one week after that to be out of here."

Edward slumped back down to the floor and closed his eyes. "I'm gonna be so happy when this week is done. If we can just get past the next seven days it's…"

"Hey, don't say that. Don't give away the _todays_ by chasing after _tomorrows._"

"What do you mean?" His head was getting cloudier with each minute he stayed awake and was in no shape for a philosophical discussion.

"Just that each present moment is important. If we're constantly looking past the moment we're in, in anticipation of something better happening, we miss all of the great things that are going on around us. Like…ah…right now," she finished in awe, her hand dropping to the side of her bump.

"What is it? Is something wrong?"

"No. Everything is wonderful. I think I just felt the baby move." Her eyes were glistening as they looked to her husband. Even though he knew he wouldn't be able to feel any movements yet, he still joined his hand with hers and reveled in this most perfect of moments.

**. . .**

Bella looked over her checklist. She'd become so scatterbrained as of late that she started carrying around a little notebook attached to a lanyard around her neck. She'd already checked off _Tell Mom and Dad about Baby._

The day after they'd returned from France and had a chance to rest, Edward called his parents.

"_Hey Mom, can you get Dad on the line?"_

"_Sure sweetie, what's going on?"_

"_We just wanted to talk to both of you, together."_

"_Carlisle! Edward and Bella are on the phone…Okay we're both here. How was the trip home?"_

"_It was long," said Edward._

"_And gross," added Bella. "I couldn't stop puking on the plane."_

"_Why were you throwing up? Some kind of stomach bug?" Carlisle's voice was curious._

"_No, not a bug. I'm pretty sure it was morning sickness."_

_There was a long pause before Esme whispered,"What?" _

"_We're pregnant," Edward confirmed._

"_But I thought…" _

And that's when the screaming and tears of joy and all the questions began. Then the conference calls were made and soon the whole Cullen clan was rejoicing together. Bella smiled as she ran her finger over that first item on the list.

The ER had a very quick goodbye party for Edward. Dr. Garrett was disappointed to lose Edward, but didn't make a big deal of his feelings. No one made any grand speeches. And the nurses managed to squash a cupcake on his nose and mouth, which made even the stodgiest of the doctors there chuckle. While Edward was passing around the rest of the treats that Bella had made – putting her renewed culinary passions to good use – Dr. Garrett pulled her aside.

"_Bella, I know this is…highly irregular," he shifted on his feet, looking everywhere but at her face. "But I…Well, I wanted to apologize for any undue stress my over-scheduling Edward may have put on your relationship. He's a good man, but he's a shadow of himself without you by his side. Just make sure he remembers that."_

"_I uh…thank you?"_

_He nodded and gave her a warm, fatherly smile, before guiding her back to the festivities. Edward glanced at Bella's pleased expression and relaxed as she took her place by his side._

_Move to Washington _was the next item. Emmett flew out a day before the _Zero Hour_ as he and Edward had started calling moving day. They didn't take very long to load up all the boxes and furniture. It was strange for Bella, seeing their little apartment completely empty. There was a lot of history wrapped up in those walls, not all of it happy, but the experiences they'd had in New Hampshire had been kind of like a refiner's fire. Impurities in their marriage had been burned and skimmed away, bringing what one could view as a 10K gold marriage to an 18K gold one.

Bella had flown into Washington a few days before the end of September to a gaggle of teary-eyed women waiting to gather her under their collective wing.

Edward and Emmett arrived on the first of October. They had spent the drive from New Hampshire to Washington talking about all of the issues that had been brought up when his parents had come out for the disastrous Mad Marathon. They didn't go into great detail about their brotherly bonding experience, but you could tell that they, too, had come out the other side stronger than they'd ever been, both gaining a new respect for the other.

They decided to stay with Edward's parents for a few weeks. They hadn't had a chance to do any house hunting before they moved, so it just made sense for them to stay with family. That, and Esme wanted to fawn over the Bean Bump, of course. Nine days after Edward and Emmett had returned, Edward ran in the Victoria, British Columbia Marathon. He qualified for the Boston with four minutes to spare. Bella checked _Get Edward Qualified for Boston_ off of the list with a huge grin. Edward was riding higher than a kite for at least a week after the race, enjoying massages and other post racing perks from his wife.

After Edward had recovered from the race, he and Bella spent a solid week looking at potential rentals. They finally found a little house in Port Angeles. It was even close enough to the hospital that Edward could ride his bike or even walk to work if he wanted to. They were able to check off _Get our own place in Port A. _just before Thanksgiving. Boxes were left stacked along the walls of their new home all the way through the holidays. It was more important to enjoy spending their free time with family and, most importantly, with each other.

Christmas was a surprisingly subdued affair. With the Whitlocks and the Emmett Cullens in Seattle, it wasn't until Christmas Eve that the family got together after Edward's Victoria marathon. Glasses of eggnog and cider were sipped as Grampa Carlisle read _'Twas the Night Before Christmas_ to the three little girls sitting enraptured at his feet all decked out in new Christmas jammies.

Christmas morning was filled with all the expected chaos as presents were ripped open and shrieks of girly joy - over a giant Barbie house or a new pair of Christian Louboutin pumps - were heard throughout the house. Alice was probably more excited than the little girls.

Once the living room was sufficiently covered in wrapping paper, Esme stood to start preparing breakfast.

"There's one more thing to open," Edward said.

Everyone looked under the tree then back to Edward and Bella. Esme returned to her seat and looked quizzically at her son. Bella slid an envelope from behind her back and toyed with the edges.

"We asked the ultrasound technician to keep the sex of the baby a secret so that we could find out with our whole family present." Bella rubbed her blossoming stomach and smiled as she handed Edward the envelope.

They shared a silent, significant look between themselves. Bella had a good feeling that Edward already knew what they were having since he'd had a lot more practice looking at and interpreting ultrasound images. But if he did know, he hadn't let on one way or the other. Her trembling hands turned the envelope over and ripped the flap open. Slowly, she pulled out the black and white pictures and looked carefully at the message the technician had typed onto the image with a little arrow pointing in between the tiny pair of legs.

She sucked in a breath and stifled a happy sob with her hand. Not that it wasn't real before, but knowing the sex of the baby just made it that much more _real_. With shining eyes she turned to Edward whose own expression matched hers. The kiss they shared was full of joy and hope and was dangerously close to moving beyond a Disney appropriate viewing audience.

Emmett cleared his throat loudly as Livy, Bailey, and Brianna all giggled. "Well?" he asked with mock impatience.

"It's a boy!"

**. . .**

January brought with it a serious case of nesting urges for Bella. Each day she'd unpack a few more boxes, making sure to leave the heavy ones for Edward. Esme came up often to help with unpacking. She was also a huge help in organizing things and setting up the nursery.

She and Bella had grown incredibly close over the last few weeks. Esme had become Bella's rock when it came to allaying all motherhood related fears. They would talk for hours about Esme's personal experiences with losing her first baby and how that experience shaped her life. It was after one of these discussions that Bella mentioned she'd been feeling particularly tired one day.

"Go and rest. Put your feet up, dear. There's not much left. I think we're down to old high school and college stuff. You might want to just keep these in storage," she said, indicating a few old but familiar cardboard boxes.

"I think you're right. I'll just have Edward put them up in the attic." Bella shuffled off to the bathroom, her second home, now that the baby had grown large enough to squash her bladder flat as a pancake.

She was struck with panic when she looked down and noticed the drops of bright red blood on her panties. All of the happy nesting feelings fled as icy fingers of fear wrapped themselves around her heart. "Esme! Esme, come quick. I'm bleeding." It was too soon. She was only thirty five weeks pregnant.

Esme appeared in the door of the bathroom, phone in hand. "I've already dialed Doctor Miller. Are you having any cramps or pain?"

"No, nothing. Not even Braxton-Hicks contractions." She looked up at her mother-in-law with wide-eyed terror.

Esme brought a clean pair of pants and underwear for Bella, who had already fished out a sanitary pad from under the vanity. In a matter of minutes the two were on their way to the hospital. "Have you called Edward?"

"Right after I got off with Dr. Miller. He'll be waiting for us at the ER entrance."

Sure enough, pacing in front of the large sliding glass doors was a disheveled looking Edward, hands buried roughly in his hair, his brow drawn into wrinkled knot. He was at Bella's door almost instantly, gently helping her into a wheelchair.

She was taken to an exam area where she was promptly hooked up to a fetal monitor as well as a pulse oxygen monitor and a blood pressure cuff. Dr. Miller breezed in and conducted a thorough examination. When she was finished with the ultrasound she turned to the three anxious Cullens and began speaking.

"Well, the bleeding isn't serious, as long as it remains a light spotting. From the ultrasound it looks like you've developed placenta previa as well as possible acreta or increta," the doctor explained. Edward blew out a long breath and squeezed Bella's hand gently. "What that means," she continued, "is that the placenta is covering all or part of the opening of the cervix. That's the previa part. Acreta and increta refers to how deeply embedded the placenta is into the uterine tissue. Acreta is less serious than increta, but we won't really be able to tell until we get this little guy delivered."

"So what do we need to do?" asked Bella.

"Bed rest, probably until you deliver. We'll schedule a C-section and be prepared for all possible outcomes."

All of the blood drained from Edward's face as he sat down next to Bella. She looked from him to Dr. Miller to Esme, all of whom wore grim expressions. "And what are all the possible outcomes?" Bella's voice was shaky. She didn't really want to know what all the outcomes were. She could guess, but didn't think she'd be able to deal with any surprises when it came down to it.

"Best case scenario, the C-section goes according to plan, the placenta is delivered and the acreta is either minimal or non-existent. Next best case, you need extra fluid due to slightly more than average blood loss, we resect the acreta and treat with a few different medications post-partum. Worst case scenario would be a deep increta with uterine hemorrhaging that we can't control which could end with an emergency hysterectomy."

Bella's breathing, which was already shallow and stressed, turned into gasps. Edward circled his arm around her shoulder as she lay on the exam table, the quite thrum of their baby's heartbeat echoing in the background. She rested her head on his strong bicep and squeezed her eyes shut, one tear sliding out of the corner of her right eye.

"Bella, I will do everything in my power to preserve your uterus. I know how much of a struggle it was for you to conceive. I'd like for you to have that chance again. It won't be easy but try not to get too stressed about this. We'll also need to keep an eye on your blood pressure. Nothing has been out of the norm during the pregnancy, but in light of your prior history of borderline high blood pressure we just want to be sure. If pre-eclampsia is gonna show up, it would be around now. So, I'll want to see you once a week for the rest of your gestation. Okay?"

"Okay. I'll call the office and make the appointments when we get home."

Dr. Miller answered a few medical questions that Edward had. Bella's mind was already full to bursting with the information she'd received. She couldn't even think about trying to follow the medical speak that was going on between her doctor and her husband.

The door opened and closed. Bella's eyes were still firmly shut and a slow stream of tears continued running down her cheeks. She felt Edward sit down on the edge of the exam table. She felt his hands cup her cheeks as his thumbs swiped away her tears. She felt his own fear and desperation as he kissed her with trembling lips. She desperately clung to his shoulders as she poured out all of her own fears into the kiss and tried to swallow and comfort his at the same time.

"What if…"

"Shhh. Don't. We can't go there. As long as I have you both safe in my arms at the end of the day, nothing else matters. I can't lose you." He pressed his lips to hers, the kiss resolving into one of pure love.

**. . .**

"Today's the big day!" Alice was chipper as ever and bubbling with positivity. Bella was a bit more reserved. She'd had plenty of time over the last four weeks to research everything that had to do with placental abnormalities and complications. She was actually able to hold a pretty competent medical discussion with Edward when it came to that topic. He'd been impressed with her grasp of the subject. She'd even been able to enlighten him on a few points that he'd not remembered from his OB rotations.

The whole family had come to the hospital. Alice was the last to come in and spend a few minutes with both Bella and Edward before the surgery. Bella had already been given an epidural and was not enjoying the sensation of dead legs. The surgical nurses came in to the pre-op room and started preparing Bella to be taken to the OR.

"We'll see you in a few! Love you guys!" Alice called out as she backed out of the room. Edward adjusted his protective cap and waggled his eyebrows.

"So how do I look all decked out in my fancy hospital garb?"

"Hmm, kind of like a bluish-greenish alien."

He chuckled as they wheeled Bella into the OR suite. The anesthesiologist spent time checking her IV, setting up the blood pressure monitoring equipment, placing a little flexible thermometer on her forehead. Edward was watching with a sharp eye, doing his own mental checklist of procedures and protocol.

Bella twisted her torso in discomfort because her arms were strapped down spread-eagle with Velcro. Edward wished there was some way he could make his wife more comfortable, but he couldn't interfere with procedure. It wasn't long before Dr. Miller came in and began the surgery. She wouldn't let Edward watch beyond the draping, but she was detailed as she talked through the steps of the procedure. He imagined in his mind's eye each part of the surgery as she spoke. Bella's nose wrinkled when they used the cautery tool to stop some of the minor bleeding. Edward could never get used to the smell of burning flesh, even if it was just a tiny bit. It made his stomach turn to know that it was Bella's flesh that was smoking now.

After only ten or fifteen minutes, though, the lusty wail of their child broke the relative silence of the operating room. "Here's your baby boy!" Dr. Miller called out and held him up over the drape before handing him off to the nurses.

The new parents were both stunned silent. He was here. He was alive and healthy. He was perfect.

"I love you, so much," Edward managed to choke out through his tears.

"I love you, too. Now go get me some pictures of our baby. I don't want to miss a single moment even if I am strapped down to this stupid table."

"Are you sure?"

"Go!"

Edward grinned and walked over to the little warming table where the nurses were suctioning and wiping a very furious little boy. Edward dutifully snapped a few pictures. The baby was bright pink and squirming and absolutely beautiful. Edward watched with interest as the nurse lifted the baby and turned him and tugged on his arms and legs. He knew kids were sturdy, but still. This was his son they were flopping around. He was half tempted to say something, but decided it would be in his best interests to stay on the nurse's good side. He was just surprised at how seemingly rough they were handling his son.

Once the baby was bundled up and safely in his arms, he walked gingerly back to his seat at Bella's head. "Hi, Mommy!" Edward voiced for their infant son. Bella was beaming as he leaned the baby toward her for a little kiss.

"Oh, he's beautiful. And so…fat! He's so…perfect." Bella's voice was filled with a dreamy quality. She was smiling as wide as he'd ever seen, and more beautiful than he could've thought possible.

"He already passed his first test. So he must have his mother's smarts."

_More suction!_ Edward heard in the background. _It's not stopping. Millimeters away from full percreta. _He rolled the stool back and glanced around the surgical drape. Two, three, at least four liters of fluid – blood mostly – that had been suctioned from Bella. His own heart nearly stopped beating. This was not good.

"He's…just…amaz…" Bella's voice slurred and dropped off as her eyes closed. Edward stood and took the baby to the nurses and started back toward his wife. He only got a few steps when one of the surgical team pushed him back toward the door.

"NO! I need to be with her."

"Dr. Cullen, please, let Dr. Miller work. We need you to step outside with your son." The nurse wasn't pushing him out anymore but she wasn't letting him advance either.

"TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON, NOW!" he roared.

"It was worse than we thought. There was near full penetration of the placenta into her abdominal cavity. She's hemorrhaging and I can't stop it. I'm sorry, but we're…" Dr. Miller was cut off by Edward's agonized plea. "Just save her. Do whatever you have to do. Please…don't let her die."

**. . .**

Everything felt fuzzy. Her eyes felt like they were full of sand and her body ached, especially her shoulders. And while not especially cold, she couldn't keep her teeth from chattering and her body from shaking.

_Was this normal?_ she wondered. Her mouth was dry and everything was heavy. She tried moving her legs, but they were still numb from the epidural. After a few minutes of awareness she was finally able to open her eyes.

"Bella? Hon? Hey, baby. You're starting to come around. Do you need anything?"

"Water?" she croaked.

"I can get you some ice chips. I'll be right back."

She closed her eyes and tried to remember what happened. One minute Edward was showing her the baby the next…nothing.

"Here you go, sweetheart." Edward held a small spoonful of ice to her lips. She opened and sucked on the little cubes until the ice was melted.

"Where's the baby? Is he okay? What happened?" Bella fought to stay awake. She needed to know what had happened.

"He's in the nursery. He's perfect, actually. Has my temper, though." The smile didn't quite reach his eyes. He reached out and took her hand in his.

"Tell me, please?" But he didn't really need to say anything. As his chin quivered, and the tears fell down his cheeks, she knew. She felt the all too familiar stinging in her eyes and the way her nose tightened up as she ran her tongue over her teeth.

"It was worse than they could tell from the ultrasound. You lost nearly your entire blood volume. They had to transfuse seven pints of blood. I thought you were…it was touch and go for a few minutes."

"So, worst case scenario, then?" Bella asked, her voice flat.

"She was able to leave your ovaries, so there won't be as many hormonal complications down the road," he whispered.

"I want to see him."

"As soon as you're out of recovery. They just need to make sure your blood pressure is stable."

She nodded and held on tight to her husband's hand. They knew it was a possibility. Because of the surgery she'd had to alleviate the endometriosis, she'd been at a higher risk for placental complications. She'd tried to prepare herself. But how can anyone really prepare for something like that?

Nothing could hold back the bitter sobs as they overtook her. She covered her face with both hands and just bawled. She grieved her loss, grieved for the other children she'd never get to bear. She was torn by a love/hate relationship with her uterus. She loved that she'd been able to conceive and carry her baby safely – for the most part – to term. But she hated that that one pear-sized organ had been the cause of so much stress and heartache.

After what felt like a lifetime, they finally wheeled her to a private post-partum room. She anxiously waited for the nursery to bring the baby to her room. The nurse was diligent in checking the numbers on Bella's bracelet against the numbers on the baby's and then left the little rolling bassinet next to the bed. Edward scooped out the snoozing infant and placed the swaddled bundle into her arms.

At that moment, when she bent her head and took in that delicious smell of clean baby and soft cotton, all of the horror of his delivery melted away and faded quickly into the background. At least for now, she put all of the sadness and pain firmly behind her.

"So are we still going with Lucas?"

Bella nodded, not taking her eyes off of the tiny infant, and murmured, "Lucas Charles Cullen." He began to squirm and a loud noise rumbled from his diaper. Bella smiled. Edward chuckled. "Well, I guess that's his vote of approval."

While Edward was changing Luc's diaper, he was whispering to the wiggling boy. "You know, Luc, your mom is a pretty amazing woman. Just wait until you get to eat more than breast milk. She makes the best cupcakes – ever."

"Hopefully he's inherited your charm and not my sense of equilibrium," Bella murmured.

"We're pretty lucky to have her around, buddy," Edward continued. "I'm just glad she came back to us." He walked over to the bed, lowered one of the side rails, and settled on the edge resting next to Bella.

"I'll always come back to you, Edward. Always."

* * *

**A/N: Only the epilogue left. If there's something you want to know about, or if you have a question, please don't hesitate to ask. If I can I'll work it into the epilogue, if not, I'll answer you directly! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!**


	21. Epilogue

**A/N: Here it is. I'll have more to say at the bottom. Please enjoy!**

* * *

**Come Back To Me**

**Epilogue**

**April 18, 2011**

"Did you get a good shot?" Bella leaned over to look at the small screen on Alice's digital camera as she bounced a sleeping Luc in the carrier strapped to her front.

"As good as I could, considering all the elbows I had to throw to keep my spot." Alice had camped out since two a.m. for her spot at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. Though, if anyone could maintain a presence and not get bullied out of her two-foot-square of prime real estate it was Alice. She handed the camera to Bella and took a swig of water. Alice had jogged almost six blocks around all of the cordoned-off spaces to join her sister-in-law at the designated family meeting area.

Bella was bouncing on her toes, looking over all the other heads and bodies that were milling around their corner, trying to spot her husband. One by one the rest of the family congregated at the meeting place, just in time to see Edward emerge from the restricted areas reserved for racers only.

Each family member had taken up a post somewhere along the race course to shout encouragements and well wishes as Edward ran by. Bella and Lucas had been stationed at the halfway point. As Edward approached, Bella began waving her arm like a crazy person, all the while keeping the other arm wrapped around the tiny infant she carried like a momma kangaroo. Edward's answering grin as he jogged by made all the standing and waiting worth it.

Edward was specific in his destination as he turned the corner around the water station. He strode toward his family and right into Bella's waiting arms, careful not to squish the baby in his enthusiasm.

"So what was your official time?" Emmett asked.

"Two hours and fifty eight minutes," Edward responded with a grin. "And I couldn't have done it without the most wonderful wife in the whole world." He brushed his hand over Bella's cheek and leaned in for a kiss.

She ignored the fact that he was still dripping copious amounts of sweat and wrapped one hand behind his neck, drawing him in closer. The salt on his lips combined, not unpleasantly, with whatever energy supplement he'd most recently ingested. But that really was quite secondary in her mind as she moved her lips with his. He had succeeded. This goal that had been looming, and at one point been so divisive in their relationship, had been achieved; though to Bella, it felt more like their personal Goliath had been vanquished.

Bella had been worried, after he resumed his training schedule, that it would interfere with reestablishing the foundations of their marriage; her fears had been unnecessary. He always made sure to schedule his training around the times when she and Lucas were either asleep or when his mother was with her. He'd shown her with his actions how his priorities had changed and that she was once again at the top of that list.

Everyone took turns congratulating Edward and giving him hugs and slaps on the back. It was clear he was exhausted, but he was also radiantly happy. As they started to move toward the parking area, Bella felt a little tap on her shoulder. She turned to see Jasper wearing a rueful expression and holding the hand of her very bouncy niece, Livy.

"Mind if I take over Lucas duties? Livy has been _dying_ to walk with Auntie Bella, and you've been hoggin' my nephew all morning." He winked and made his own pouty face as Livy continued to bounce on her toes and plead with a look that was only partly inherited from her mother. She guessed that Alice had seen what a physical toll the day had taken on her and told Jasper to come relieve her of the extra burden.

"You have taught the young one well." Bella playfully narrowed her gaze at Alice. "How can anyone possibly refuse those eyes? She's gonna be lethal when she grows up," Bella said as she carefully transferred Lucas in his carrier to his uncle Jasper's chest.

Jasper simply shook his head and asked, "What do you mean _when she grows up_? She's lethal now!"

"I know, right?" responded Alice, her voice full of pride as she fell in step next to her husband. It was fun to watch Alice coo over baby Lucas, Bella mused as she swung Livy's hand back and forth.

Edward slowed his step until Bella had caught up to him. She reached for his hand and laced their fingers together as they continued to walk to the parking area. Livy was, for once, oddly quiet, allowing the grownups to converse a little.

"How are you feeling?" Edward asked with a gentle squeeze to Bella's hand.

"A little bit tired. I'll be glad to lay down when we get back to the hotel." Bella was about nine weeks post-partum. She'd been incredibly lucky with her recovery so far. She'd had no issues with her incision healing. Her bleeding was minimal, and the swelling and baby weight was slowly melting away. She'd struggled for a few weeks with what she guessed was probably a mixture of post-partum depression and feelings of depression brought on by the circumstances of the hysterectomy.

"Mommy says, I don't have a nap enna more." Livy looked up, pleased that she'd found a way to contribute to the conversation.

It didn't take much encouragement for Bella to seek help from a counselor and support group for new moms. Once she was able to get out and about – about four weeks after her surgery – she began attending a weekly meeting with several other moms at the local community recreation center.

At first, Esme would attend with her and help with packing Lucas and all his gear into and out of the car. But at her eight-week checkup, she'd been given the go ahead to start lifting and resuming regular activities.

Lily wiggled her way in between the two grownups and asked for _swoops. _And as any good aunt and uncle, they counted to three and swung her in between them, over and over, the rest of the way to the parking garage. Bella was glad that it was only a block to the cars. Once there, they swapped children with Jasper and Alice and headed to their car.

"I'm ready for a nap myself," he groaned, stretching his arms. "Doctor Miller did say you were cleared for _all_ your regular activities right?" Edward asked with a sideways look toward Bella.

"What kind of nap are you thinking of?" Bella cocked an eyebrow in question as she buckled the baby into his car seat.

Edward hung his head sheepishly but never lost the impish grin on his face. "The kind where Mom and Dad watch Luc in their room?"

"Huh. I'll need to feed him when we get back, but maybe we can see if they'd be willing to watch him for a bit. Though, you really need a shower."

"I think I might need some help with that," he whispered. His smile shifted from impish to devilish as he waggled his eyebrows. "See there's this spot on my back that I just can't reach…" his voice trailed off suggestively as they climbed in and buckled up.

"I might be able to help with that." Bella winked as she leaned over and pressed a kiss to Edward's jaw.

**. . .**

**15 years later**

"Mommy? Is it sparkly enough?"

Bella strolled over to the long, glass pastry display case and looked it over with a discriminating eye. Her daughter, Aimee, looked up, face full of hope and eagerness to please.

"Hmmm. I don't know. Did you do your very best?" Bella noticed a couple of smudges, but would never demean the hard work that Aimee had put in.

"Yes, Mommy. My very, very bestest." She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and smiled.

Bella cupped her daughter's coffee-colored cheek and looked deeply into the characteristic almond-shaped eyes and said, "Then it's perfect. Go put the cleaner away and throw the rag into the laundry basket."

"Okay, Mommy," she said, all enthusiasm and energy. Bella heard a _clang_ and winced as she imagined the pile of cupcake tins clattering to the floor. "I'm okay," came the quick reply, the sounds of tins being restacked on the shelf right behind it.

Aimee loved helping in Bella's pastry shop, _Délicieuse,_ and was truly her mother's shadow. She was smart and talented and worked every day to live beyond the label of _disabled._ She was eleven going on thirty and was the light of her entire family. Bella constantly marveled at the manner in which Aimee came to be a part of their family.

_Luc was just starting pre-school and even though she knew it wouldn't be physically possible for her to have another child, she still felt the familiar desire to mother a baby. She began volunteering in the neonatal and pediatric intensive care units at the hospital. And that is where she met Aimee for the first time._

_She'd been working at the hospital for about six months when she first encountered Aimee. She'd received her assignment from the volunteer coordinator and was a little confused when she was sent to the pediatric ICU; she usually spent most of her time in the NICU. The feeling that fate had somehow been involved in her assignment, smacked her hard in the chest as soon as she saw the baby who would eventually become her daughter. She'd been brought in with a severe case of RSV, and had an oxygen cannula taped under her nose. The nurse mentioned under her breath that she'd probably contracted the illness from one of the other six children in her foster home._

_Bella moved closer to the bassinet and peered down at the little girl. She was smaller than what a two-month-old should be, a soft halo of dark brown, tightly spiraled curls crowned her perfectly round head. Her eyes, also a deep chocolate brown, slanted up at the corners while her tongue protruded just slightly from her pouted lips. Her skin was like creamy, fudge pudding, and without a single blemish. Luc had been covered in baby zits for his first couple of months, she remembered._

_Bella ran her fingers over the name card on the bassinet - A. Watson was all it said. The nurse pressed a bottle of formula into Bella's hand and explained that she'd been the first born in a set of twins but that Baby B, her brother hadn't survived the delivery. Bella's heart was breaking into pieces and at the same time being reformed to hold a space for Baby A. In all her experience volunteering, she'd never felt such an attachment to one of the babies like she did with A._

_The baby began coughing - a full body experience for an infant - her feet and arms contracting tightly into her body as she struggled to breathe. Instinctively, Bella reached out and lifted A into her arms and began soothing and feeding the child. Once the bottle had been finished and A was sleeping soundly, Bella excused herself and immediately called her husband._

"_There's a little girl in there who needs us," she said as soon as Edward walked up to her._

"_What?"_

"_A foster child being treated for RSV. She's only two months old, and I...I can't explain it, hon. I just feel it so strongly, right here," she said rubbing her chest, "that she's meant to be part of our family."_

"_Well, then I think I need to meet this special little lady." Edward, freshly scrubbed, gowned, and masked was admitted into the PICU. _

_Bella's heart pounded in her chest as she watched Edward gently stroke his fingers over A's soft hair and down her plump cheek. He had to feel this connection. He just had to._

"_Are you sure, babe? There are a lot of potential complications for children with Down syndrome." He wasn't discouraging. More like just making sure she knew that the road probably wouldn't be smooth._

"_I'm sure. She belongs with us."_

_It took hours of classes, home studies, and visitations. But every single day and month they had to wait was worth it when Baby A officially become Aimee Elizabeth Cullen. _

While she was out of the room, Bella took a napkin and quickly wiped off the few spots that Aimee had missed and waited. She came back out and turned off the lights in the back room, a wide grin on her face. "Do you think Daddy will like my cupcakes?"

"Doesn't he always?" Bella asked with a teasing tone as she picked up the little box of cakes. It wasn't anyone's birthday or anniversary. Aimee just loved making special treats for her daddy and big brother Luc.

"Mhmm," she hummed in agreement. Her eyes darted all around taking in the familiar scenery. She and Bella walked this way frequently. The air was warm and smelled of rain, maybe even a thunder storm, which fascinated Aimee. She'd sit by the window and try to identify shapes in the lightning.

Afternoon was quickly waning as they passed a park that Aimee had made her latest subject in a detailed series of paintings and drawings. She slowed and observed the smaller children playing on the jungle gym and slide. Bella could see her mentally cataloguing the tableau and was sure that she'd see a similar rendering by tomorrow or the next day at the latest.

Their home was in sight when Aimee took off running down the sidewalk. Bella glanced up to see that Luc had just barely beaten them home from track practice. His sandy brown hair was soaked with sweat and he still had his duffle bag slung around his back as he put his bike away. Her shouts gave him just enough warning to turn around. She went hurtling into Luc's outstretched arms and Bella felt her heart fill to near bursting with love and pride. He swung his little sister in a big circle and patiently listened to all of the stories she had to tell.

Bella followed the siblings into the house, passing them in the foyer to get started on dinner. She was laughing quietly over a cutting board full of vegetables when Edward walked in the side door from the garage.

"Hey, good lookin'. What's so funny?" he asked, planting a kiss on the side of her neck.

"Aimee. She just asked Luc if he farted. When he said no, she told him, 'Well, you stink. Whatever you do, don't fall into the shower and get clean or anything.'"

Edward bowed his head, his shoulders shaking with mirth. "Where does she come up with this stuff?"

"I have no idea," she replied, tipping her head up for a more thorough kiss. "Oh and she's been talking about Marcus, again."

"What? I thought she was done with all that nonsense," he grumbled as he peeked into the blue and white polka-dotted box. He grinned and began rubbing his stomach as he went in search of his daughter. "Where's my princess? Are those Aimee Cullen cupcakes I see in the kitchen?"

"DADDY!" She screeched as she skidded around the corner and into Edwards arms. "I made one for everybody. Even Luc, but if he still stinks he's not gonna get one."

"Well, sweetheart, he stinks because he's a teenage boy and boys are gross. Best to stay far, far away from _all_ boys. Because they're stinky and gross and full of germs."

"But not Marcus. He's my friend." She was so innocent as she looked up into her father's eyes.

Edward pulled her toward him and wrapped his arms around her in the biggest bear hug a daddy could give. "Especially Marcus," he mumbled low enough that she couldn't hear.

**. . .**

Later that evening, Edward joined Bella and Aimee right in the middle of their hair ritual. It had taken Bella a long time to learn all of the tricks and products for taking proper care of Aimee's hair. She smiled as he watched her carefully pick, separate, and braid their daughter's hair in preparation for her big day.

"Are you excited for tomorrow?" Edward handed Bella a soft, fabric covered rubber band, marveling at how deftly she could wind it around the end of Aimee's plait. He could see that his little girl wanted to bounce right out of her seat, but after years of having her hair done, she knew that sitting still would get the process finished a whole lot quicker.

"I think it will be even better than last year." She smiled with a wicked twinkle in her eye. "Especially 'cause Marcus is gonna be there, too."

Edward was barely able to suppress a groan, but Aimee could see the pained expression and it didn't help at all that Bella was snickering quietly in the background. Edward chose the deflection and redirection tactic to get the conversation back on track.

"Are you nervous? 5000 meters is a lot longer than 3000." Edward wanted to make sure that Aimee had realistic expectations of her performance the next day. She was participating in the Special Olympics games for the second time and was going to be running in several of the longer distance track races, though it was her first 5K for competition.

"No, Daddy. I'm not nervous. We do those all the time. Like when Mommy and me got to wear the pink shirts and the pink tutus," she said with a giggle. "That was fun."

It made him want to puff up his chest with pride to hear the enthusiasm his daughter had for running. Once Bella had recovered from Luc's birth, she started joining Edward on some of his shorter runs. Slowly, she'd progressed and was happy to say that she'd run the Victoria Marathon with Edward when Luc was three, just before they adopted Aimee. While she was proud that she'd completed the marathon, she decided that it really wasn't her cup of tea. But it was an activity that she enjoyed on a more limited basis.

It was only natural that both of their children followed their example. Luc tried cross country for a while but found that he preferred the explosive nature of sprinting and relays. His strong upper torso and well-developed thighs and calves were proof of his dedication to sprinting.

Aimee, though, took after her father. She could just run and run without batting an eyelash. And so that's what they did as a family. They ran. Most recently, she and Bella had completed a 5K run in honor of breast cancer awareness month.

The next day, Aimee positively glowed with the attention from her family. Everyone had come to celebrate her success. She'd come in first place in the 800-meter event, and third place in the 5k. Gramma and Grampa Cullen showered her with praise and all of her cousins crowded around to look at her medals.

After the initial frenzy of congratulations, the group began to dissipate. Edward was in discussion with Carlisle about the success of his newest venture: A low cost clinic for families without insurance. He'd already received a federal grant and was working on a proposal to a private fund. The family practice he'd started almost eight years ago was thriving. Bella had breathed a sigh of relief once the office was making money. Now years later, they both felt the need to return some of the wealth that they'd been blessed with back to their community.

Bella, while still standing next to Edward and holding his hand, was in another world, talking with Alice about potential new cupcake flavors. "Maple Bacon, Alice? Really?"

"Trust me on this one, Bella. Don't you love dredging your bacon through a puddle of maple syrup? Put that on top of an apple spice cake and voila!" Alice's eyes were glazed over as she imagined the treat. Bella's eyes, however, focused on an entirely different scene.

Twenty feet away, Marcus and Aimee were talking. Marcus, who also had Down syndrome, had run in some of the shorter distances events. It appeared that he was congratulating her on her races. They gave each other an awkward, but innocent hug, and that's when the inevitable happened.

Bella's whole frame stiffened. Edward must have felt it through their joined hands and turned at the worst moment possible. Marcus whispered something in Aimee's ear, causing her to giggle and scrunch her neck shyly. But then she nodded and before anyone could do or say anything to redirect them, the two tweens hinged toward each other at the hips, lips puckered, hands clamped firmly behind their own backs and kissed.

Edward's growl was quiet, but powerful as it rumbled through his chest. What on earth was his baby girl doing kissing a boy? He felt Bella's hand squeeze and pull back on his arm. He hadn't even realized that he'd started toward the young pair. He was only partially mollified to see that Aimee had now crinkled her nose and was saying, "Ew!" as she wiped her mouth off. Marcus had covered his face with both hands and was laughing.

When he asked her later, why she let Marcus kiss her, she simply replied, "He's my best friend. And you always say that Mommy is your best friend, and you guys kiss _alllllll_ the time."

He couldn't argue with that fact. And he wouldn't feel sorry that his children could see how much he loved their mother. But that didn't mean he was okay with his eleven-year-old daughter kissing boys.

"It's good that he's your friend, but it's important to make sure the kisses you give to others are special. Don't hand them out like pretzels. Save them until you're a little more grown up, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy. I love you."

"I love you too, pumpkin."

As he and Bella closed up the house for the night, he kept going back to what Aimee had said. Bella was still his very best friend and had been for almost twenty-five years. He was completely lost in thought when he felt her arms circle around his waist. He opened his stance and drew her to him closely, enjoying the familiar feel of their connection.

"Are you still worried about Marcus? I'm pretty sure it's just a curiosity phase," she said, her words muffled by his shirt. "Besides, I think she thought it was pretty gross." Bella peered up into his eyes, her chin resting on his chest, a faint smile gracing her lips.

"No. Well, yes. I'm worried about her growing up. I'm scared that some punk will try to take advantage of her. She's so sweet and trusting; I just never want anything to hurt her. But no, that's not what I was thinking about."

"Hmmm. Then what _were_ you thinking about?" She turned her cheek to his chest and nuzzled impossibly further into his embrace.

"I was just thinking about us. About how grateful I am that we've been able to get through all of the crap we have, and still be as strong together as we are." He paused and squeezed her a bit tighter when he said, "I'm just really glad that you came back to me."

He leaned away and gently dragged his hands through Bella's hair and around the back of her neck, brushing his thumbs over the apples of her cheeks. The glistening in her eyes told of the emotion that filled her from head to toe. The way her arms wrapped around his neck spoke of her still ardent desire for the connection they'd shared since their teenage years; a connection that had been tested and stretched, strengthened and matured, until it became a life sustaining force between them.

He tipped his head down and caressed her lips with his own, lavishing her with all the love in his heart. Eagerly, she responded, her lips sliding together with his as they kissed in the middle of the dimmed kitchen.

"Always," she whispered. _Always._

* * *

**Translations and Epic Author's Note:**

**Délicieuse: **Delicious

**Aimee: **Beloved

**I just want to thank all of you who have read and reviewed, even when Edward and Bella were being horrible jerks to each other. Thanks for giving this story a chance. I have so appreciated all of the thoughts and personal stories you've shared with me.**

**Thank you to everyone who has contributed to this story. Especially LJ Summers for all of her amazing editing help; BellaMadonna, Roselover2, and Katmom for pre-reading and beta'ing. **

**OUTTAKES: I do have one or two planned. If there are missing moments you'd like to see, PM me or mention it in your review, though I will not be doing any Aimee/Marcus outtakes. They do have a story, but I'm gonna go with the clichéd phrase and say, "It's not my story to tell."**

**Next project will be **_**The Kept Men's Club**_**. I've got a good outline started and hope to get working on that soon. I plan to have that story complete before I begin posting. So please be patient with me. School is almost out of school for the summer, so we'll see how productive I can be.**

**I am also still mulling over ideas for another historical romance. But that will come once school is back in session and life is less crazy. **

**Again, THANK YOU for all of your support. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the epilogue, so if you have a minute, hit that review button and let me know!**


	22. OT:The Chronicles of Lucas Cullen

**A/N: This is the last out take for the Come Back to Me family. I hope you've enjoyed their struggles and triumphs. I thank you all for sharing their journey with me. It's amazing what kind of story is sparked from one song! **

**Huge thanks to my betas, pre-readers, and all those who stepped in and helped out in a pinch: LJ Summers, BellaMadonna, Roselover2, Katmom, Babette12, Kstab100.**

**Again, thanks so much for reading and reviewing! You can follow me on twitter Melolabel or just have me on author alert. I'll be working on The Kept Men's Club next! **

* * *

**Come Back To Me**

**The Chronicles of Lucas Cullen**

Lucas Cullen inherited the all of the best qualities and a few of the more infuriating ones from both of his parents. He potty trained when he was exactly three and could also use big boy utensils at the dinner table. He was the smartest kid in his kindergarten class. By the middle of the year he could read, write all of his sight words, and was extremely articulate.

He was also kindred spirits with Pigpen from the Peanuts cartoon, extraordinarily stubborn, and highly inquisitive. There was always a little cloud of debris following him wherever he went. Often random piles of trash, craft project leftovers, or food would be left behind when he exited the room. His stubbornness generally manifested itself at meal time. Vegetables were his enemy—well all veggies except frozen peas. Still frozen. But even then there were issues.

**Age 2**

Edward sat down and observed his grinning two-year-old, Luc. His face was covered with spaghetti sauce and he was happily squishing thawed peas all over his highchair tray. Luc peeked up and said, "Daddy! Daddy pea! Daddy pea!"

"Yes, buddy. You're eating those nasty frozen peas. Good boy." Just as Edward picked up his fork and dug in to his own dinner, Luc sneezed. All of a sudden a pea hit Edward's hand. When Edward figured out that it had come from Luc's nose, he groaned.

A quick glance was all he needed, to see two more green orbs in his son's nostrils. "Bella?" Edward called out. She was in the kitchen fixing her own plate and hadn't made it to the table yet.

"What, hon?"

"Has Luc ever stuck peas up his nose?"

"Did he do it again?" Bella hurried from the kitchen, plopped her plate down on the table with a clatter, and immediately lifted Luc's chin. Sure enough, both sides of his nose were blocked with peas.

"So it's not the first time?"

"No," she replied to her husband, then turned to the toddler. "You little stinker!" she said to the smiling cherub with resigned frustration. Edward started to massage the sides of Luc's nose but Bella stopped him. "That doesn't work. Trust me."

She left the room to search for a pair of tweezers. Edward was just wiping the sauce from their son's face when she returned. She plucked him out of his highchair, got one of his old flannel blankets, and wrapped him up, pinning his arms down.

"What are you doing?" Edward looked on dubiously.

"I'm gonna get the peas out," Bella replied, matter-of-factly as she laid Luc on the softer carpet of the living room. She straddled the little boy who squirmed and wriggled against his swaddling. He knew what came next and wasn't happy about it.

"You know I've done this before," he said somewhat smugly.

"Yeah, on other kids. You've never been able to tolerate Luc's fussing. Just stand back and let me do my thing." Bella squeezed her legs a little tighter to insure that a flailing arm didn't come popping out of the bindings. She pulled a pen light from her pocket and put it in her mouth, turned Luc's head to the side and held it down gently. The tweezers weren't even halfway there before Luc started wailing.

"Are you sure you need to. . ." Edward started, but was cut off by a sharp grunt and what sounded vaguely like a "zip it Cullen" but he couldn't be sure.

He watched his wife expertly extract three peas from their son's nose. Edward knelt down and wordlessly accepted the foreign objects as though he was an O.R. nurse, receiving soiled surgipads. He was internally divided on whether or not he wished someone else had been there to witness the comedic role reversal.

"Do you have your otoscope? I just want to make sure I got everything."

"Oh. Uh, yeah. Hold on." Edward jumped up, tossed the peas in the trash and dug through his med kit. He knelt over their son and turned to his wife, scope in hand. "Allow me?"

"Be my guest," she smirked and held Luc's head still while Edward shined the light up his nose.

"All clear," he declared after a thorough examination.

Bella lifted the little boy, un-wrapped him, and set him in her lap. She gave him a big hug and kissed his forehead. "Lucas Cullen, where do the peas go?"

He ducked his head then peered up with saucer-wide eyes and pointed to his mouth.

"That's right, little man. Peas go in the mouth. Not the nose!"

"No nose, mommy."

"That's right little man. No nose. Now, up a stairs for jammy time!" The sandy-haired little boy scrambled out of his mother's lap and started up the stairs.

"So how many times has he done that?" Edward asked again as he put away his scope.

"That was the fifth."

**Age 5**

Lucas was very quiet on the drive home from Sunday dinner with the whole family. Bella glanced back at him several times during the trip because it was so out of character for him to be that quiet. Usually, he would talk a blue streak from Forks to Port A. without stopping.

When they arrived at home, Luc remained contemplative throughout his bed time ritual. His covers were pulled up under his armpits and still he'd said scarcely a word. As Edward leaned down to kiss his forehead, Luc asked, "Daddy, why is aunt Alice so fat?"

"Well, she has a baby growing in her tummy."

"How did a baby get in there?"

_Too soon! Warning! Warning! Why is he asking about where babies come from?_ Edward's thoughts were panicky and he felt all the blood drain from his face. In fact he felt lightheaded and moments away from passing out completely. Why were there no "Teach your kids the birds and the bees 101" classes in med school?

"Well, Luc, when a Mommy and a Daddy love each other, they . . .You see, there's a special place where a baby can grow . . ." _Mayday, I am going down in flames_, he thought.

"Did she eat it?"

"The baby?"

"Yeah. Did she eat it and that's why her tummy is so big?"

"Well, no. She didn't eat it."

"Then how?" he asked, frustration and confusion clearly written all over his little face.

It was at that moment that Edward heard a soft "_Ahem_" behind him. He looked at his wife relieved and at the same time chagrined. She was pink to her ears with restrained laughter.

"Have you been wondering about this since dinner at Gramma's?" Her soft voice floated through the room like a warm breeze.

Luc nodded and gazed hopefully at his mother. She sighed as she sat down next to him and stroked her fingers through his unruly hair. "Well, sweetie, you remember what happens when you plant a seed, right?"

"It grows into a sunflower. We did that at school."

"That's right. Well, mommies and daddies each have part of a seed and when they put them together, a baby starts to grow. It has to grow in a special place that only mommies have called a womb. It's different than where food goes in your tummy."

"Oh. Okay." Luc said with a sleepy yawn. "Love you Mommy. Good night Daddy."

"Love you, too, sweetheart. Now close your eyes and go to sleep." The little boy yawned, snatched his beloved Snoopy dog from the corner of his bed, and began to suck on the frayed tail.

Flummoxed, Edward followed Bella into their room and sat heavily on the edge of the bed. "How did you even know what to say?"

"Your mom gave me a book nearly a year ago. She said if Luc was anything like you, we'd want to be prepared for questions like that any day." Bella grinned and straddled her husband, pushing him down on the bed.

He wrapped his arms around her and asked, "What are we going to tell him when we bring home Aimee?"

"I've got a book for that, too." She kissed him quiet and reached over to turn the bedside lamp off.

**Age 7**

"Hey hon, where's Luc?"

"He's out back playing with Ethan."

Through the sliding glass door, Edward observed where the boys were playing. They were both standing side by side toward the back of the yard by the cinderblock retaining wall. It seemed like they were swaying back and forth. It took a moment for him to realize exactly what they were doing.

When the light bulb over his head flickered on, he began laughing; not just a chuckle but a full-belied laugh that drew Bella to his side.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Look closely."

"Oh. My. Gosh. Are they . . .?"

"Yup."

"On the wall?"

"Uh huh."

Bella marched over to the sliding patio door and wrenched it open. As she walked onto the deck and focused more closely she could make out an _L _ and a _U_ already marking the wall. Ethan was happily making swirly patterns.

"Lucas Charles Cullen! Are you _PEEING_ your name on the garden wall?" She stood there with her hands on her hips, fighting to keep her expression serious as Lucas and Ethan both frantically tried to pull up the fronts of their pants. "Front and center. Now!"

Both boys trudged toward the house, heads down, until they stood in front of the grownups.

"Lucas, please explain where you got the idea to _pee_ your name onto the garden wall."

His mossy green eyes darted to his cousin then down to the ground as he shrugged.

Bella then leveled her gaze on Ethan, asked the question again, and was met with more silence and a few elbow shoves between the two boys. Edward had retreated back into the house, unable to keep a straight face.

"You have ten seconds to explain this to me or there will be no popsicles." With her hands on her hips and the tone of voice she was using, there was no doubt in Lucas' mind that his mother was serious.

His desperate eyes flashed to hers, a war of emotions raging in them. With eyebrows knit together and a scowl on his face he grumbled something too low to hear.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Look at me and say that again, please?"

Luc finally met his mother's gaze and said, "Uncle Emmett."

After an extensive lecture on the location of the bathroom and how it's only okay to pee outside when camping, as well as a warning about never doing that again, the boys were finally released back to their play.

When Bella stalked back into the kitchen, Edward held a just-waking-up Aimee in his arms, blowing raspberries on her cheek. She glanced at her husband and growled, "Your brother is a dead man."

**Age 12**

His face was hot. He licked his dry lips and took a deep breath, his hands tightly curled around the small slip of paper. His heart was beating a hundred miles an hour. _Was it possible to have a heart attack at thirteen years old?_ He thought.

"Come on," he chided himself. His voice was low and full of self-recrimination. "Stop being a chicken and dial!"

He held the phone in his hand and mashed the buttons with a determined ferocity. _One ring. Two rings. Three rings . . ._

No way was he leaving a message. Not. Gonna. Happen. His thumb was poised over the disconnect button. Just as the fourth ring sounded and he was sure the answering machine was going to come on, a gruff voice sounded through the receiver.

"Hello?" _Crap_. Her father answered.

"Uh. . . Hi, is Lexi there?" His voice cracked and squeaked. He pretty much wanted to fall through the floor and never see the light of day again.

"Who is this?"

"Lucas Cullen, sir. Is Lexi home?"

He could hear Lexi in the background asking "Who is it?" and "Is it for me?" but he figured the less he spoke to her father, the better.

"She's home. Just a minute." He sounded grumpy, which only served to make the knot in Luc's stomach twist even tighter.

After an agonizing thirty seconds a sweet voice came through the handset. "Hello?"

"Lexi?" Another squeak. He dragged his hand down his face and stifled a groan.

"Yeah?" Her voice was breathy and soft just like her skin and her hair. Not that her hair or skin was breathy, just soft and pretty.

"It's Luc."

She giggled. "I know."

He grinned at the fact that she knew it was him. Maybe this wasn't such a big deal after all. "So. . . watcha doing?"

"Nothing. What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

_Silence._ Everything he'd planned on saying flew out of his mind. And now neither of them was saying anything. _Think, idiot, THINK!_

"So. . .how do you think you did on the science quiz?" He rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. He was asking her about _school?_ But he had nothing else. His mind may as well have been wiped clean by aliens, or something.

"I don't know. Okay, I guess?"

"Oh. That's good." _Stu-pi-do! Just ask her._ He thought again derisively. "So, I was wondering if. . . maybe. . . uh. . ." The words stuck in his throat. He felt a little bead of sweat running down the side of his face.

"Yeah?" she prompted.

"Do you maybe want to sit by me at lunch tomorrow?" _Another freakin' squeak_. He almost growled—a trait he'd inherited from his father.

After what felt like forever, she finally answered. "Okay."

"Yeah?" He couldn't keep the excitement from his voice, which elicited another soft giggle from his crush.

"Yeah," she replied. He could hear her smiling through the phone.

"Cool. So, I'll see you tomorrow."

"M'kay. Bye, Luc."

"Bye, Lexi." He clicked the phone off and flopped backward on his bed, euphoric and scared to death.

**Age 17**

**7:30 pm**

"Oh, you guys look so cute together!" Bella reached up to straighten Luc's bow tie and smooth the lapels of his tuxedo for the hundredth time.

"Mom, c'mon. It's fine. Are we about done with the pictures? Our reservation is in, like, twenty minutes."

"Just one more!" Like any proud mother, she snapped several more pictures of her baby boy and his date, Lexi Morris, before they left for the Junior Prom.

After a few more complaints and a giant eye-roll, Luc and his date walked out to the car.

Edward had to pull his wife off the front porch even though the taillights had long-since disappeared.

"Do you remember when that was us?" She sighed. Her voice trembled with emotion as she recalled one of their first memories together.

"I nearly threw up, I was so nervous to meet your dad." He smiled as he rubbed his wife's shoulders. He sat down on the couch and drew her to his lap, nuzzling her neck with his nose.

"And he still pulled the stupid cleaning-my-gun-when-the-boy-comes routine. I can't believe he did that."

Edward chuckled. "It was an effective deterrent to any hormone-fueled thoughts I might have had that night."

The trip down memory lane lasted the better part of an hour. They took a break to tuck Aimee into bed and fix some popcorn then settled onto the couch for a movie.

**10:00 pm**

The movie was still playing but both Edward and Bella had fallen asleep on the couch. They probably wouldn't have awoken were it not for the squeaky hinge on the front door. Bella popped her head up and saw Luc close the door, his back was facing her but she knew something was wrong just by his posture.

Then she saw the time and became doubly worried. Luc didn't even glance in the direction of the family room before trying to scurry up the stairs unnoticed. "Luc?" she called out.

He stopped cold, one foot on the second stair, the other still planted on the ground. His shoulders slumped even further.

Bella scrambled off the couch, pushing Edward's shoulder at the same time trying to rouse him from sleep. "Is something wrong? Why are you home so early? I thought the dance went until midnight?"

"Uh. . . Yeah. It goes until midnight. Lexi . . . um . . . wasn't feeling good . . . so we left early." His voice was dull and he'd only turned slightly, not even allowing his full profile to be seen by his parents.

All of Bella's _mom senses_ were hyperactive. His story didn't ring true. Something was definitely wrong.

Edward stepped behind his wife and asked, "Did she eat something bad at dinner?"

"No. Dinner was . . . fine," came the grumbled reply.

"She didn't throw up, did she? It'd be a shame to ruin such a pretty dre . . ."

"She didn't puke. Okay? Can I go to bed, please?" He cut off Bella's ramblings with a sharpness that was wholly out of character for her sweet boy.

"Lucas," Edward warned.

"Do you feel ill? Shall I get you a towel for the edge of your bed or some Pepto?" Bella continued with her interrogation. She was going to get to the bottom of this.

"NO, Mom. Jeez. I'm not sick."

"Then what is it, honey? Please just talk to us."

Luc turned around, his red-rimmed-gaze fixed somewhere between the family picture on the wall and the ceiling. "She ditched me. Okay? Are you happy now?"

A heavy silence hung in the air before Bella answered. "No, Lucas. I'm not happy at all." First shock then anger barreled through Bella. Why on earth would Lexi have ditched Lucas? They'd been sweet on each other since middle school. "What happened?"

"I'm such an idiot," he growled to himself, rubbing his eyes with his fists.

Bella began to say something but Edward squeezed her shoulders and whispered a soft "no" in her ear. She clamped her mouth shut and waited impatiently for some kind of explanation.

"I was the parent-approved date—her cover. As soon as we got to the dance Jason Trimball swaggered up like he was the freakin' king of the world. Two seconds later the rest of his crew shows up. Then he puts his arm around Lexi's shoulder and they start walking away. So I'm all like, 'What the hell, Lex?' and she's all, 'Thanks for dinner, Luc, but you know I'm with Jason, right?' Then she just walked away."

It only took a single heartbeat for Bella to switch from concerned to outraged. How dare that little strumpet use her son like that? She'd been stringing him along for how many months? Years, even? Bella stomped into the kitchen and grabbed the phone off the cradle.

"Mom! What are you doing?" Luc chased his mother into the kitchen.

Bella started dialing. "I'm calling Lexi's parents. They should know she's out with that . . . hooligan."

"NO! Just . . . leave it be. Please. I just want to forget that Alexis Morris exists."

"But, it's not right. And he's a . . . a criminal. . ." she trailed off weakly. The defeat etched on her son's face was screaming at her to _do_ something. Anything. But Edward was standing behind Luc shaking his head back and forth emphatically.

"Just . . . No, mom. I was an idiot. I should've seen it sooner. I'm . . . so stupid."

And that was the kind of talk that Bella would not permit. She stepped up to her son and searched his eyes. They were so full of sadness and pain—more pain than any teenaged kid should have to go through.

She lifted her hand to his cheek and said, "You are a sweet, trusting, kind-hearted young man, who got played. I'm so sorry she used you like that. But you are not an idiot. I can't listen to you talk about yourself like that. You are my miracle." She reached her arms around her great big boy and just wanted to hold him and rock him until all of the hurt was gone.

His arms hung limply by his sides as he indulged her need to comfort him for a few precious moments before pulling away. It was the benevolent act of a true teenaged martyr. "I'm going to bed. I'll see you sometime next year," he grumbled as he trudged up the stairs.

"I'm here if you want to talk, Son," Edward added, trying to be helpful.

"Uh . . . Oka-ay, Dad." Luc shook his head and continued up the stairs with one last muttered "g'night."

Bella walked into the kitchen and began warming up a mug of water in the microwave. When Edward joined her, he could hear her muttering about all kinds of crazy plans to Facebook-stalk Lexi among other nefarious social media attacks.

The microwave beeped. Bella methodically took a tea bag out of the box and dunked it exactly fourteen times into the hot water before throwing it into the garbage. She squeezed a tablespoon of honey into the mug and stirred. She was still stirring when Edward wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck.

"I know you're pissed, hon, but we need to let him handle this. You can't save him from everything."

"But she . . ."

"I know." _Kiss._

"And he's so . . ."

"I know." _Kiss._

"But . . ."

"I know, but he'll be okay." _Kiss._

"Are you sure?"

"He'll talk to us when he's ready."

"Okay, but I'm not inviting the Morrises to the Christmas party."

"I should think not." Edward chuckled and led his wife up to bed.

**Age 21**

"Are you excited, Aims?" Luc glanced over at his not-so-little-anymore little sister as they drove to the stadium. Aimee would be participating in her fifth Special Olympics and the task of helping her check in and get registered for her events fell to Luc since both his parents were working.

"Yes," she said with a huge smile splitting her face.

She bounced all the way to the line where several other participants were waiting to check in. One of Aimee's friends happened to be in line right in front of them. The two girls quickly became engrossed in a conversation about their favorite events. That left Luc plenty of time to fool around on his phone as they slowly inched forward in line.

"Name?" Luc whirled around at the sweet, musical tone of the volunteer's voice. In his eagerness, he fumbled his phone and dropped it on the ground. He glanced up at the young woman and felt his insides turn into Jello. She was gorgeous, angelic, beautiful, and so HOT. She had short, blond hair that fell messily across her forehead. Her nose was dotted with a smattering of freckles and her eyes were a glassy light blue with a ring of darker blue around the outside edges of her irises. Her lips curved into a wide and inviting smile as she arched one eyebrow, waiting for a response.

Luc squatted down to pick up his dropped phone but misjudged the distance between his head and the underside of the table. When he went to stand, he cracked his head on the edge of the table—hard. It took every ounce of restraint to bite his tongue against the stream of curses that was about to fly out of his mouth. It certainly wouldn't make a very good first impression to start cussing like a sailor in front of this woman.

Aimee giggled as she watched her big brother floundering. Luc rubbed his head as he tucked his phone into his back pocket.

"My name is Aimee Cullen."

"It's good to meet you, Aimee. And who have you brought with you?"

"This is my big brother, Lucas."

The angel turned her focus from Aimee to him and flashed what was probably a million-watt grin. "Are you okay, big brother Lucas?"

Luc rubbed the bump on his head and smiled sheepishly. "I'd be a whole lot better if I knew your name." He flashed his own killer smile—another trait inherited from his father—and winked.

She just ignored his flirting and looked back at Aimee. "Well Aimee, my name is Claire and I'll be helping you get checked in." She shuffled through papers, pulled out a lanyard with all of Aimee's participant information, and had Luc fill out the standard liability release form. "It looks like you're a veteran, aren't you, Aimee?"

"This is my fifth time!"

"I'll bet your family is very proud of you!" Claire said obviously focusing her gaze on Luc. He felt a blush—curse from his mother—heat his cheeks.

Smiles and hooded glances passed between Luc and Claire as she gathered copies of Aimee's paperwork into the orientation folder.

"You ready, Aims?" Luc asked as he accepted the folder from Claire.

He threw his arm around Aimee and led her toward the bleachers. She fell into step beside him as she studied her I.D. badge, trusting he'd lead her in the right direction. In her characteristic loud voice Aimee asked, "Do you think Miss Claire is pretty?"

Luc turned back to check-in table, feeling the heat all the way to the roots of his hair as he caught Claire's gaze, and said with a chuckle, "Yeah, Aims. I do think Miss Claire is very pretty."

They'd only walked a few more steps when he felt a small hand on his arm. He turned to see Claire with a hot pink sticky-note in her hand. He grinned when he saw the seven digit number, hastily scrawled on the paper.

"Call me," she whispered.

"Count on it," he replied. His crooked grin spread even wider as he watched her walk back to the table.

Later that evening as Luc and Aimee drove home she asked, "Are you gonna marry Claire?"

He pondered on their brief meeting. There was something about her that called to his soul. "I don't know, Aims, but I've got a good feeling about her."

"Yeah. Me too."

* * *

**A/N: Pics of Lucas and Claire are on my profile! They say write what you know. The Pea story=Babums #4. The Pee story=Boy #2. **

**My oneshot/plot bunny attack has been entered into an anonymous contest. Once I get the okay, I'll start tweeting the contest site so you can read all the entries.**

**Also, I'm prereading for LadyGwynedd and her new story Nightingale. Bella (a seamstress in England) signs on to be an indentured servant for a Mrs. Cullen and her two daughters who live in the Americas. That should work out fine, right? **

**So if you want to know what I'm posting, make sure you have me on author alert. Also if you want me to reply to your review, you must have Private Messaging enabled. I so appreciate all your reviews and encouragement. I love hearing from all of you wonderful readers! Thanks so much.**


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